My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?

[Anonymous]

When I replace "alcohol" with "sugar" on this thread I realize I am addicted to sugar.

Not overweight, but deeply dependent on sugar. People laugh but I would do anything to get this monkey off my back.

[Anonymous]

The Federal Dietary Guidelines for Americans state: If you drink, do so in moderation (1 drink / day for women, 2 drinks / day for men). 12 oz beer = 1.5 oz liquor = 5 oz. wine.

[Anonymous]

No, not an alcoholic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everytime I see one of these threads, I'm reminded of an adage I once heard: "Most people consider anyone who drinks more than they do an alcoholic, and anyone who drinks less a boring teetotaler."

I'm not saying that there aren't true alcoholics out there, but I also think people have judgment skewed by their own personal experience. Go on a website populated primarily by fathers, and I'm guessing you'll get a very set of answers than you're getting here.

Note also that according to online BAC calculators, 2-3 drinks per night for a 190 pound man is roughly equivalent to 1-2 drinks per night for a 145 pound woman. Would you consider a woman having 1-2 drinks per night an alcoholic?

Many people on this board have pointed that finger, yes. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The way I look at it is what if DH was drinking three Cokes or rootbeers or coffees to "relax" every single night? Would you think that was excessive? I would. And as an aside, I went to a family day at a local rehab (Father Martins Ashley) and I believe they define it as anything more than 7 drinks in a week. Unfortunately, several family members afflicted with this disease and each of them highly functioning, successful, married but totally dependent on alcohol.

This is hysterical. Almost everyone I work with drinks three coffees a day at least! One women drinks at least three diet cokes. Most of these people are health nuts who run and do Tough Mudder races.

Meanwhile, we've got a nation of disgustingly obese people dying of diabetes and heart disease. Let's not go nuts over three cups of coffee or two daily drinks.

[Anonymous]

2-3 drinks a day every day can progress over time to alcohol dependence. Also I share a pp's concern about the link between alcohol and cancer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way I look at it is what if DH was drinking three Cokes or rootbeers or coffees to "relax" every single night? Would you think that was excessive? I would. And as an aside, I went to a family day at a local rehab (Father Martins Ashley) and I believe they define it as anything more than 7 drinks in a week. Unfortunately, several family members afflicted with this disease and each of them highly functioning, successful, married but totally dependent on alcohol.

This is hysterical. Almost everyone I work with drinks three coffees a day at least! One women drinks at least three diet cokes. Most of these people are health nuts who run and do Tough Mudder races.

Meanwhile, we've got a nation of disgustingly obese people dying of diabetes and heart disease. Let's not go nuts over three cups of coffee or two daily drinks.

I'm the PP you quoted and I'm not talking about soda consumed over the course of the day (though, yes, it's not healthy for you). But if you drank 3 Cokes in quick succession after coming home and before dinner because it's the way you relaxed, then YES, I would find that concerning.

[Anonymous]

^^^ PP here. Another thing to add is that functional alcoholics are often in great shape, have great jobs, run marathons, have families - at least my family members suffering from addicition did / do. But they were also dependent on alcohol. They used it. No, they were never raging drunks, but they also believed they couldn't get by without 2, 3, or 4 drinks of wine, scotch, or gin a night.

[Anonymous]

^^^ PP here. Another thing to add is that functional alcoholics are often in great shape, have great jobs, run marathons, have families - at least my family members suffering from addicition did / do. But they were also dependent on alcohol. They used it. No, they were never raging drunks, but they also believed they couldn't get by without 2, 3, or 4 drinks of wine, scotch, or gin a night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^ PP here. Another thing to add is that functional alcoholics are often in great shape, have great jobs, run marathons, have families - at least my family members suffering from addicition did / do. But they were also dependent on alcohol. They used it. No, they were never raging drunks, but they also believed they couldn't get by without 2, 3, or 4 drinks of wine, scotch, or gin a night.

I often wonder about my mom in this regard. She has wine at lunch (sometimes before lunch), in the afternoon and at dinner (less than a bottle a day). But she is in phenomenal shape at 75 and can out-hike most 50 year olds, does yoga, goes out, holds dinner parties. She is very organized and on top of everything and travels the world. She has her personality issues (is critical), but is doing much better than most her age. Is she an alcoholic? Does it matter? I tend to think not, but am not sure. PP, in what way did it matter to your family members or to you?

[Anonymous]

I can't wait until I'm retired and can just drink during the day if I want to, not care about this crap, and enjoy life!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ PP here. Another thing to add is that functional alcoholics are often in great shape, have great jobs, run marathons, have families - at least my family members suffering from addicition did / do. But they were also dependent on alcohol. They used it. No, they were never raging drunks, but they also believed they couldn't get by without 2, 3, or 4 drinks of wine, scotch, or gin a night.

I often wonder about my mom in this regard. She has wine at lunch (sometimes before lunch), in the afternoon and at dinner (less than a bottle a day). But she is in phenomenal shape at 75 and can out-hike most 50 year olds, does yoga, goes out, holds dinner parties. She is very organized and on top of everything and travels the world. She has her personality issues (is critical), but is doing much better than most her age. Is she an alcoholic? Does it matter? I tend to think not, but am not sure. PP, in what way did it matter to your family members or to you?[/quote]


I'm the PP. Actually, it never mattered to me in that I didn't see the addiction for what it was - at least not initially. I thought, well, this person has a great job, looks healthy, isn't acting drunk - wasn't on my radar. For my sister, alcohol was a way to cope with stress - intense stress - on the job and became a crutch and a source of shame because she realized she NEEDED alcohol and at the same time hated herself for it, especially once she had kids. For another family member, the wake up call was a diagnosis of fatty liver (a precursor to sclerosis). For my brother in law, i it was that he recognized it was something that allowed him to cope with depression. He also had high blood pressure and his doctor advised him to stop drinking and he struggled to quit for several years. I will say that each of these people are in recovery, but also that it hasn't been easy. By the way, these weren't social drinkers - if I'm remembering correctly, in each case they had their after work drinks. Earlier drinking and sometimes more excessive drinks on the weekends, sometimes in social circumstances, but not always. Drinking was a coping mechanism, not something to be savored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^ PP here. Another thing to add is that functional alcoholics are often in great shape, have great jobs, run marathons, have families - at least my family members suffering from addicition did / do. But they were also dependent on alcohol. They used it. No, they were never raging drunks, but they also believed they couldn't get by without 2, 3, or 4 drinks of wine, scotch, or gin a night.

so what is your issue then? how do you think they were negatively affected beyond your perjorative labeling of them as addicts? any other impact? just great, functioning members of society suffering no side effects at all, but...?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^ PP here. Another thing to add is that functional alcoholics are often in great shape, have great jobs, run marathons, have families - at least my family members suffering from addicition did / do. But they were also dependent on alcohol. They used it. No, they were never raging drunks, but they also believed they couldn't get by without 2, 3, or 4 drinks of wine, scotch, or gin a night.

so what is your issue then? how do you think they were negatively affected beyond your perjorative labeling of them as addicts? any other impact? just great, functioning members of society suffering no side effects at all, but...?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ PP here. Another thing to add is that functional alcoholics are often in great shape, have great jobs, run marathons, have families - at least my family members suffering from addicition did / do. But they were also dependent on alcohol. They used it. No, they were never raging drunks, but they also believed they couldn't get by without 2, 3, or 4 drinks of wine, scotch, or gin a night.

so what is your issue then? how do you think they were negatively affected beyond your perjorative labeling of them as addicts? any other impact? just great, functioning members of society suffering no side effects at all, but...?

Well, if you read my response to the negative impacts on their lives - just above your second post, then you would understand the negative impacts, including depression and liver disease. Read.

And I don't use the perjorative label of addicts. This term "recovering addict," is how my family members refer to themselves.