Insensitive Drs at Childrens (overweight child)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, she is not a size 14. Don't be ridiculous.

Thinking this is not an issue because she is "beautiful" is also stupid. This is a health issue, not a popularity contest.

My guess is that you have no idea what is really going on in her life or how she is losing the weight. Plug in NOW.

yes she is a 14/16. all of her clothes that either she purchases are either a 14 (or 16). depending on brand, but there is a pretty even mix of both sizes. and no they are not stretched out and forced to fit like one pp said. she (and I!) makes sure all her clothes fit properly and she does not go for the "muffin top" look. we even joke about her friend who is a size 4s laying down to squeeze into a size 0 when she is perfect at a 4 and you good (and generally better) wearing your size. i have been in a store with her, and if something doesnt fit she will get a larger size or just not get it. I did not say this is not an issue because she is beautiful, I was simply saying that as a person physically and socially (i guess is the term) she is beautiful. She has lost weight by eating healthily, and working out as said in the OP. no she is not starving herself or even taking pills.

To the pp wondering how she gained the weight, she was always a heavier "pudgy" kid. and then during middle school she put on more weight, but when puberty really hit, it kinda evened out and in a way distributed evenly so no one part of her body is "huge" but she is just "thicker" (not a great deal of belly/back fat) just an all over extra body weight.

And to the PP who asked what I look like, I am 5'10 266. so yes i am quite heavy too.

So, you joke about another child's weight and appearance when you and your daughter are obese. Yet you're offended when nurses write the words "obese soft belly" to describe your child's "obese soft belly." Wow.

no we dont "joke" in a malicious way. you guys jump to conclusions. her very thin friend was over at our house, laying on the floor to put on pants and her friend was the one who was joking about how she was struggling to put on jeans. she was like "my god... im so fat!" my DD said "E___ you arent fat! im fat but I think those pants were made for a skeleton!" and they were both laughing about how silly it was that how even teeny tiny people start to think theyre fat. no one was being made fun of, but they both poked fun at themselves. (my DD saying how she is fat. and that her friend saying that she is desperatley "sucking in" to get into tiny pants!)

It might be silly to you but to her friend - and many other teen girls - they don't see it that way. They really do believe they are fat. That's how they end up with eating disorders.

So no, what your doing is no better than if someone said "but I think those pants were made for an elephant!" if your DD was trying to put on a pair of pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, she is not a size 14. Don't be ridiculous.

Thinking this is not an issue because she is "beautiful" is also stupid. This is a health issue, not a popularity contest.

My guess is that you have no idea what is really going on in her life or how she is losing the weight. Plug in NOW.

yes she is a 14/16. all of her clothes that either she purchases are either a 14 (or 16). depending on brand, but there is a pretty even mix of both sizes. and no they are not stretched out and forced to fit like one pp said. she (and I!) makes sure all her clothes fit properly and she does not go for the "muffin top" look. we even joke about her friend who is a size 4s laying down to squeeze into a size 0 when she is perfect at a 4 and you good (and generally better) wearing your size. i have been in a store with her, and if something doesnt fit she will get a larger size or just not get it. I did not say this is not an issue because she is beautiful, I was simply saying that as a person physically and socially (i guess is the term) she is beautiful. She has lost weight by eating healthily, and working out as said in the OP. no she is not starving herself or even taking pills.

To the pp wondering how she gained the weight, she was always a heavier "pudgy" kid. and then during middle school she put on more weight, but when puberty really hit, it kinda evened out and in a way distributed evenly so no one part of her body is "huge" but she is just "thicker" (not a great deal of belly/back fat) just an all over extra body weight.

And to the PP who asked what I look like, I am 5'10 266. so yes i am quite heavy too.

So, you joke about another child's weight and appearance when you and your daughter are obese. Yet you're offended when nurses write the words "obese soft belly" to describe your child's "obese soft belly." Wow.

no we dont "joke" in a malicious way. you guys jump to conclusions. her very thin friend was over at our house, laying on the floor to put on pants and her friend was the one who was joking about how she was struggling to put on jeans. she was like "my god... im so fat!" my DD said "E___ you arent fat! im fat but I think those pants were made for a skeleton!" and they were both laughing about how silly it was that how even teeny tiny people start to think theyre fat. no one was being made fun of, but they both poked fun at themselves. (my DD saying how she is fat. and that her friend saying that she is desperatley "sucking in" to get into tiny pants!)

It might be silly to you but to her friend - and many other teen girls - they don't see it that way. They really do believe they are fat. That's how they end up with eating disorders.

So no, what your doing is no better than if someone said "but I think those pants were made for an elephant!" if your DD was trying to put on a pair of pants.

the friend is the one who said it was silly. wtf is wrong with you? do you need to come on DCUM and search for people to attack?

and to the PP who said that she got to a higher weight with a nutritionist.. she only gained about 8 lbs since she was 13.

[Anonymous]

I deal with teen measurements quite a bit due to my job, and her bust/waist measurements would put her right around a size 14-16 for her tops, especially since the fashions are more flowy and loose fitting right now.

Her hips might cross into larger sizes, depending on how she carries her weight and what type of bottoms she is wearing (jeans vs skirts).

Quit saying mom is lying about what is in her daughters closet. Based on the measurements given, mom is likely being accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I deal with teen measurements quite a bit due to my job, and her bust/waist measurements would put her right around a size 14-16 for her tops, especially since the fashions are more flowy and loose fitting right now.

Her hips might cross into larger sizes, depending on how she carries her weight and what type of bottoms she is wearing (jeans vs skirts).

Quit saying mom is lying about what is in her daughters closet. Based on the measurements given, mom is likely being accurate.

The measurements given also do not make sense. There's no way someone with those measurements would weigh 230. For comparison, I'm 5-3 with 38-29-39, and I weigh 140. How can someone 5-4 with 38-35-45 (or the like, I don't remember exactly) weigh 90 lbs. more than me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I deal with teen measurements quite a bit due to my job, and her bust/waist measurements would put her right around a size 14-16 for her tops, especially since the fashions are more flowy and loose fitting right now.

Her hips might cross into larger sizes, depending on how she carries her weight and what type of bottoms she is wearing (jeans vs skirts).

Quit saying mom is lying about what is in her daughters closet. Based on the measurements given, mom is likely being accurate.

The measurements given also do not make sense. There's no way someone with those measurements would weigh 230. For comparison, I'm 5-3 with 38-29-39, and I weigh 140. How can someone 5-4 with 38-35-45 (or the like, I don't remember exactly) weigh 90 lbs. more than me?

Maybe because SHE IS SIXTEEN!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I deal with teen measurements quite a bit due to my job, and her bust/waist measurements would put her right around a size 14-16 for her tops, especially since the fashions are more flowy and loose fitting right now.

Her hips might cross into larger sizes, depending on how she carries her weight and what type of bottoms she is wearing (jeans vs skirts).

Quit saying mom is lying about what is in her daughters closet. Based on the measurements given, mom is likely being accurate.

The measurements given also do not make sense. There's no way someone with those measurements would weigh 230. For comparison, I'm 5-3 with 38-29-39, and I weigh 140. How can someone 5-4 with 38-35-45 (or the like, I don't remember exactly) weigh 90 lbs. more than me?

That is a 6 inch increase from your measurements in the waist and hips which influences the extra pounds. If she is working out, she also might have more muscle weight than you do.

She is a pear, you are an hourglass. The measurements do make sense for someone who carries more of her weight in her legs and hips vs in her arms, face and chest, or someone who carries weight evenly like you do. Mom is probably legit in what she is saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I deal with teen measurements quite a bit due to my job, and her bust/waist measurements would put her right around a size 14-16 for her tops, especially since the fashions are more flowy and loose fitting right now.

Her hips might cross into larger sizes, depending on how she carries her weight and what type of bottoms she is wearing (jeans vs skirts).

Quit saying mom is lying about what is in her daughters closet. Based on the measurements given, mom is likely being accurate.

The measurements given also do not make sense. There's no way someone with those measurements would weigh 230. For comparison, I'm 5-3 with 38-29-39, and I weigh 140. How can someone 5-4 with 38-35-45 (or the like, I don't remember exactly) weigh 90 lbs. more than me?

Maybe because SHE IS SIXTEEN!!!

What does that have to do with anything? An adult with those measurements would weigh about 180, but a teen would weigh 230?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I deal with teen measurements quite a bit due to my job, and her bust/waist measurements would put her right around a size 14-16 for her tops, especially since the fashions are more flowy and loose fitting right now.

Her hips might cross into larger sizes, depending on how she carries her weight and what type of bottoms she is wearing (jeans vs skirts).

Quit saying mom is lying about what is in her daughters closet. Based on the measurements given, mom is likely being accurate.

The measurements given also do not make sense. There's no way someone with those measurements would weigh 230. For comparison, I'm 5-3 with 38-29-39, and I weigh 140. How can someone 5-4 with 38-35-45 (or the like, I don't remember exactly) weigh 90 lbs. more than me?

Maybe because SHE IS SIXTEEN!!!

What does that have to do with anything? An adult with those measurements would weigh about 180, but a teen would weigh 230?

I agree, what does this have to do with anything?!? That it's OK for someone 5'4" to weigh 230 lbs b/c they wear a size 14 OMG.

[Anonymous]

A teenager has a lot tighter skin and muscle mass than a 30 year old does. That's why a teenager can hide a pregnancy. That's why a teenager can lose 100 lbs and may not need plastic surgery.

[Anonymous]

What is the name of the hormonal imbalance? I often hear people mention hormonal imbalance but I am not clear what the actual condition is.

[Anonymous]

Only an fat teen or an obese woman can hide a pregnancy. If you are obese, the doctor will tell you not to gain weight while pregnant - not lose either. Even a teen who loses 100 lbs will have loose skin which can only be corrected with surgery. 100+ lbs is a lot of weight and no one's skin is that elastic.

OP, your daughter is obese and morbidly so. Any doctor will mention this when she goes to see them for any reason. Implying that they are being insensitive is being overly sensitive to the fact.

I have a very rare medical condition so whenever I go see my doctor at a major medical center, I expect to see interns, residents and any other interested parties. It's not a big deal and does not hurt my feelings.

The fact that simply pointing out your dd's obesity sends you into a tizzy, means deep down you (and she) have issues with it even though you think your daughter is "beautiful" inside and out.

[Anonymous]

Doctors would also mention the issue and refer to a nutritionist if your daughter was severely underweight. It isn't a fat issue, it is a health issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doctors would also mention the issue and refer to a nutritionist if your daughter was severely underweight. It isn't a fat issue, it is a health issue.

yes but 1. its easier to gain weight than it is to lose weight and even then if likely wouldnt be instantaneous.

2. if you have established that you have a condition, and you are treating it no, you do not need to bring it up continuously like OP's DD's doctors are doing.
for example, if you have depression, and you are taking meds for it and seeing a therapist, you are not going to be magically cured overnight with one pill and one therapist visit. So in the meantime, to tell someone that they need to seek help would be obnoxious because they are seeking help, but like obesity, it is not cured instantly.

[Anonymous]

Why is this posted in the special needs forum? Last I checked, obese does not = special needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this posted in the special needs forum? Last I checked, obese does not = special needs.

you are a dick

and to quote the OP

"can i just say that I posted in the SN forum because I expected a bit of compassion. Yes i know my daughter is fat. She knows that she is fat. She told me "mom I dont want to go to the doctor if they are going to tell me something that I can look in the mirror and see". and honestly she is right. she saw a nutritionist and now is on the right path. yes she knows that she has more weight to lose. She went to Childrens back in August and since then has lost 15 more lbs. I understand that doctors hate fat, but unless they have some magic shot to make her loose all the excess weight in 1 day, then everytime we go in for anything, we don't need to hear about how she is overweight. Obviously she is working on that,, and there is nothing else that she can do to expedite the weight loss process other than continue exercising and eating right."