Insensitive Drs at Childrens (overweight child)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, she is not a size 14. Don't be ridiculous.

Thinking this is not an issue because she is "beautiful" is also stupid. This is a health issue, not a popularity contest.

My guess is that you have no idea what is really going on in her life or how she is losing the weight. Plug in NOW.

yes she is a 14/16. all of her clothes that either she purchases are either a 14 (or 16). depending on brand, but there is a pretty even mix of both sizes. and no they are not stretched out and forced to fit like one pp said. she (and I!) makes sure all her clothes fit properly and she does not go for the "muffin top" look. we even joke about her friend who is a size 4s laying down to squeeze into a size 0 when she is perfect at a 4 and you good (and generally better) wearing your size. i have been in a store with her, and if something doesnt fit she will get a larger size or just not get it. I did not say this is not an issue because she is beautiful, I was simply saying that as a person physically and socially (i guess is the term) she is beautiful. She has lost weight by eating healthily, and working out as said in the OP. no she is not starving herself or even taking pills.

To the pp wondering how she gained the weight, she was always a heavier "pudgy" kid. and then during middle school she put on more weight, but when puberty really hit, it kinda evened out and in a way distributed evenly so no one part of her body is "huge" but she is just "thicker" (not a great deal of belly/back fat) just an all over extra body weight.

And to the PP who asked what I look like, I am 5'10 266. so yes i am quite heavy too.

So, you joke about another child's weight and appearance when you and your daughter are obese. Yet you're offended when nurses write the words "obese soft belly" to describe your child's "obese soft belly." Wow.

no we dont "joke" in a malicious way. you guys jump to conclusions. her very thin friend was over at our house, laying on the floor to put on pants and her friend was the one who was joking about how she was struggling to put on jeans. she was like "my god... im so fat!" my DD said "E___ you arent fat! im fat but I think those pants were made for a skeleton!" and they were both laughing about how silly it was that how even teeny tiny people start to think theyre fat. no one was being made fun of, but they both poked fun at themselves. (my DD saying how she is fat. and that her friend saying that she is desperatley "sucking in" to get into tiny pants!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I get the feeling OP is being over sensitive and prefer Children's not mention that her DD is obese at 5'4" and 240lbs because she's working on it. Unfortunately, ignoring the elephant in the room is probably how DD got so big in the first place.

I thought the same thing. HOW did such a young girl end up so incredibly, incredibly obese? It's almost like child abuse, feeding your child that much food.

i think i forgot to put this in another post, but she had a hormonal imbalance that caused weight gain. and once puberty came, she was able to stop gaining, and her body started to "arrange itself" and it was easier for her to lose weight.

[Anonymous]

So is she under a doctor's care for her hormonal imbalance and weight? When my bf/DH/child was on medication that affected weight, their weight was always monitored b/c excessive or being underweight could turn into a medical issue in addition to whatever they were being treated.

And no, from what you describe Children's was not being insensitive by bringing up your DD's weight when they treated her head injury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look I am overweight, ok. I still think you are wrong. Why isn't she working with a nutritionist or a doctor anyway? She needs support. From a therapist or someone qualified as well as a nutritionist. I think you are massively underestimating how serious this is. She will likely gain the weight back without proper guidance. Just starving herself for a few months won't cut it. She could also develop an eating disorder out of the dieting as well.

Stop cutting out medical professionals who only want to help. If she's always been overweight, then do some soul searching as to why. If this is new, she may be reacting to serious underlying psychological/emotional issues. Focusing on the weight blurs that. She could have been molested for all you know. Either way, get off your ass and help your child.

Being defensive about them calling her obese (when she is nearly morbidly obese!) is ridiculous. She is obese. You should be worried.

Go away trollie.

NP here. The PP delivery is harsh, but her message is true. It's ridiculous the way DCUM throw the world troll around. If that child is on one of those crash diets, the weight will come back. and, it will be worst. Use the nutritionist. I am sure it is covered by the health insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So is she under a doctor's care for her hormonal imbalance and weight? When my bf/DH/child was on medication that affected weight, their weight was always monitored b/c excessive or being underweight could turn into a medical issue in addition to whatever they were being treated.

And no, from what you describe Children's was not being insensitive by bringing up your DD's weight when they treated her head injury.

the hormonal imbalance was corrected (it was not found until she was 12), but the damage was already done. At that point she stopped gaining weight and was then able to begin losing weight.

and can i just say that I posted in the SN forum because I expected a bit of compassion. Yes i know my daughter is fat. She knows that she is fat. She told me "mom I dont want to go to the doctor if they are going to tell me something that I can look in the mirror and see". and honestly she is right. she saw a nutritionist and now is on the right path. yes she knows that she has more weight to lose. She went to Childrens back in August and since then has lost 15 more lbs. I understand that doctors hate fat, but unless they have some magic shot to make her loose all the excess weight in 1 day, then everytime we go in for anything, we don't need to hear about how she is overweight. Obviously she is working on that,, and there is nothing else that she can do to expedite the weight loss process other than continue exercising and eating right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, she is not a size 14. Don't be ridiculous.

Thinking this is not an issue because she is "beautiful" is also stupid. This is a health issue, not a popularity contest.

My guess is that you have no idea what is really going on in her life or how she is losing the weight. Plug in NOW.

yes she is a 14/16. all of her clothes that either she purchases are either a 14 (or 16). depending on brand, but there is a pretty even mix of both sizes. and no they are not stretched out and forced to fit like one pp said. she (and I!) makes sure all her clothes fit properly and she does not go for the "muffin top" look. we even joke about her friend who is a size 4s laying down to squeeze into a size 0 when she is perfect at a 4 and you good (and generally better) wearing your size. i have been in a store with her, and if something doesnt fit she will get a larger size or just not get it. I did not say this is not an issue because she is beautiful, I was simply saying that as a person physically and socially (i guess is the term) she is beautiful. She has lost weight by eating healthily, and working out as said in the OP. no she is not starving herself or even taking pills.

To the pp wondering how she gained the weight, she was always a heavier "pudgy" kid. and then during middle school she put on more weight, but when puberty really hit, it kinda evened out and in a way distributed evenly so no one part of her body is "huge" but she is just "thicker" (not a great deal of belly/back fat) just an all over extra body weight.

And to the PP who asked what I look like, I am 5'10 266. so yes i am quite heavy too.

why do you keep insisting she is a size 14? do you really believe she can fit into clothes at a non-plus size store (which usually go up to 14, maybe 16?) it's comments like that that foster the 'denial' comments. there is NO WAY that someone who is 5'4 and 230 lbs wears a size 14. i realize that isn't what this thread is about, but the oversensitivity about the comments about her weight is likely related to the fact that you just don't see her in a realistic light - ie, morbidly obese and needing realistic help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look I am overweight, ok. I still think you are wrong. Why isn't she working with a nutritionist or a doctor anyway? She needs support. From a therapist or someone qualified as well as a nutritionist. I think you are massively underestimating how serious this is. She will likely gain the weight back without proper guidance. Just starving herself for a few months won't cut it. She could also develop an eating disorder out of the dieting as well.

Stop cutting out medical professionals who only want to help. If she's always been overweight, then do some soul searching as to why. If this is new, she may be reacting to serious underlying psychological/emotional issues. Focusing on the weight blurs that. She could have been molested for all you know. Either way, get off your ass and help your child.

Being defensive about them calling her obese (when she is nearly morbidly obese!) is ridiculous. She is obese. You should be worried.

Go away trollie.

NP here. The PP delivery is harsh, but her message is true. It's ridiculous the way DCUM throw the world troll around. If that child is on one of those crash diets, the weight will come back. and, it will be worst. Use the nutritionist. I am sure it is covered by the health insurance.

she has not been starving, in fact she is not on a "diet" per se. she is simply eating small portions. So yes, she had Chipotle for dinner last night (we only eat out once a week) but she had a half (maybe 2/3) of a burrito bowl and the rest is still in the fridge. why do you all assume that she is on a crash diet? Her *nutritionist* is the one who said not to "diet" but to just eat normal foods but within a smaller portion. She has gotten to a point where she doesnt even crave sweets anymore and she eats less without feeling "deprived". the nutritionist said that her stomach likely has shrunk.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would not continue this. Special Needs is a nice place but when your thread becomes popular it shows up in the hot threads of the day and attracts everyone from Off Topic and Gen Par.

I wouldn't come back if I were you. You are just going to get more of the same. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Is this the nutritionist recommended by Childrens? Did she have a nutritionist prior to August when Children's Hospital provided the nutrition consult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, she is not a size 14. Don't be ridiculous.

Thinking this is not an issue because she is "beautiful" is also stupid. This is a health issue, not a popularity contest.

My guess is that you have no idea what is really going on in her life or how she is losing the weight. Plug in NOW.

yes she is a 14/16. all of her clothes that either she purchases are either a 14 (or 16). depending on brand, but there is a pretty even mix of both sizes. and no they are not stretched out and forced to fit like one pp said. she (and I!) makes sure all her clothes fit properly and she does not go for the "muffin top" look. we even joke about her friend who is a size 4s laying down to squeeze into a size 0 when she is perfect at a 4 and you good (and generally better) wearing your size. i have been in a store with her, and if something doesnt fit she will get a larger size or just not get it. I did not say this is not an issue because she is beautiful, I was simply saying that as a person physically and socially (i guess is the term) she is beautiful. She has lost weight by eating healthily, and working out as said in the OP. no she is not starving herself or even taking pills.

To the pp wondering how she gained the weight, she was always a heavier "pudgy" kid. and then during middle school she put on more weight, but when puberty really hit, it kinda evened out and in a way distributed evenly so no one part of her body is "huge" but she is just "thicker" (not a great deal of belly/back fat) just an all over extra body weight.

And to the PP who asked what I look like, I am 5'10 266. so yes i am quite heavy too.

why do you keep insisting she is a size 14? do you really believe she can fit into clothes at a non-plus size store (which usually go up to 14, maybe 16?) it's comments like that that foster the 'denial' comments. there is NO WAY that someone who is 5'4 and 230 lbs wears a size 14. i realize that isn't what this thread is about, but the oversensitivity about the comments about her weight is likely related to the fact that you just don't see her in a realistic light - ie, morbidly obese and needing realistic help.

because if you would like to come to her closet and look at her clothes which are 14s and 16s. I am not in denial, just stating facts. She shops at plus size stores, yes. What is your point? she goes to f21 (they have plus sizes up to 3x, i just bought a t shirt there for myself as well), jc p, Deb, macys, HM, target etc. and normally she shops in the junior plus dept, or the womens dept (when buying things like formal dresses). so again, what is your point? i see that she is obese but since she cant loose all the weight in one fell swoop what do you suggest? I know that 230 is not normally in the ratio for size 14/16 but the way that she carries her weight doesnt scream "HEY I WEIGH 230!". (actually to be honest, one of her nurses said that she didnt look her weight and was quite honestly surprised at her actual weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, she is not a size 14. Don't be ridiculous.

Thinking this is not an issue because she is "beautiful" is also stupid. This is a health issue, not a popularity contest.

My guess is that you have no idea what is really going on in her life or how she is losing the weight. Plug in NOW.

yes she is a 14/16. all of her clothes that either she purchases are either a 14 (or 16). depending on brand, but there is a pretty even mix of both sizes. and no they are not stretched out and forced to fit like one pp said. she (and I!) makes sure all her clothes fit properly and she does not go for the "muffin top" look. we even joke about her friend who is a size 4s laying down to squeeze into a size 0 when she is perfect at a 4 and you good (and generally better) wearing your size. i have been in a store with her, and if something doesnt fit she will get a larger size or just not get it. I did not say this is not an issue because she is beautiful, I was simply saying that as a person physically and socially (i guess is the term) she is beautiful. She has lost weight by eating healthily, and working out as said in the OP. no she is not starving herself or even taking pills.

To the pp wondering how she gained the weight, she was always a heavier "pudgy" kid. and then during middle school she put on more weight, but when puberty really hit, it kinda evened out and in a way distributed evenly so no one part of her body is "huge" but she is just "thicker" (not a great deal of belly/back fat) just an all over extra body weight.

And to the PP who asked what I look like, I am 5'10 266. so yes i am quite heavy too.

why do you keep insisting she is a size 14? do you really believe she can fit into clothes at a non-plus size store (which usually go up to 14, maybe 16?) it's comments like that that foster the 'denial' comments. there is NO WAY that someone who is 5'4 and 230 lbs wears a size 14. i realize that isn't what this thread is about, but the oversensitivity about the comments about her weight is likely related to the fact that you just don't see her in a realistic light - ie, morbidly obese and needing realistic help.

I don't know--weight and sizes can be really screwy. I'm 5'10" and 190 lbs and wear anything from a 14 to an 18. In plus size stores, I'm always in smaller sizes. At my heaviest I weighed 215, and still wore a 16 or 18. My husband is the same height as me, outweighs me by 25 pounds and doesn't look overweight at all, even though his BMI puts him in obese range. My best friend is 5'4" and over 200 pounds and wears a 14. She carries almost all of her weight in her legs, so has no problem fitting into size 14 tops and skirt/pant waistbands. She just can't wear skinny jeans or calf-height boots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this the nutritionist recommended by Childrens? Did she have a nutritionist prior to August when Children's Hospital provided the nutrition consult?

yes she has had a nutritionist since she was 13

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this the nutritionist recommended by Childrens? Did she have a nutritionist prior to August when Children's Hospital provided the nutrition consult?

yes she has had a nutritionist since she was 13

I would change nutritionists and monitor your DD's compliance. According to you, your DD weighed 265 lbs at 16 but she lost 35 lbs and is now 230. Your DD is morbidly obese and if she was an adult would be a candidate for bariatric surgery: THAT serious.

I'm sorry people keep questioning you about what size clothes she's wearing but it's not a question of how "well she looks" and how she "does not look like she weighs 230 lbs." The weight is a major health issue and the fact that you are clearly defensive about it and prefer that MEDICAL professionals not mention it should be an indication that you and your daughter need professional help in dealing with the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this the nutritionist recommended by Childrens? Did she have a nutritionist prior to August when Children's Hospital provided the nutrition consult?

yes she has had a nutritionist since she was 13

I would change nutritionists and monitor your DD's compliance. According to you, your DD weighed 265 lbs at 16 but she lost 35 lbs and is now 230. Your DD is morbidly obese and if she was an adult would be a candidate for bariatric surgery: THAT serious.

I'm sorry people keep questioning you about what size clothes she's wearing but it's not a question of how "well she looks" and how she "does not look like she weighs 230 lbs." The weight is a major health issue and the fact that you are clearly defensive about it and prefer that MEDICAL professionals not mention it should be an indication that you and your daughter need professional help in dealing with the issue.

Soooo...OP is screwed if her daughter is on a crash diet, but she's also to blame because her daughter is not losing weight fast enough...as in 35 pounds since August? Sounds like she can't do anything to please DCUM.

Exactly how much weight is her daughter supposed to be losing, how fast? Because 35 lbs in 3 months sound great to me. I can't imagine a nutritionist expecting faster, safer weight loss.

[Anonymous]

She's had the same nutritionist since she was 13 and went up to 265 lbs. I would fire that nutritionist and get another one. Looks like the daughter is more self-motivated now but anyone who's ever lost weight knows that it's easy to gain it all back and especially a child who's been struggling with weight her whole life needs more support/help since whatever they've been doing has not worked.