Outplacement directors that speak in code or total silence; can anyone translate ?

[Anonymous]

Has anyone heard of or had experience with the phenomenon of counselling out at area D.C. private schools? Is this in the interest of the student or the school?


This happens a lot and the kids I know who were counseled out ended up much happier at another school.

This rarely occurs at K-3/6/8 schools, at least due to academics. Special needs, maybe. But it's pretty much unheard of that children are asked to leave Concord Hill, Beauvoir or Sheridan because they can't hack the Everyday Math.

[Anonymous]

^^^ and this thread is about K-3/6/8 schools, not K-12, so.

[Anonymous]

NP. If the outplacement process you are referring to is Beauvoir's, I was a "renegade" parent and decided to file apps for my DC without the director. However, it was the previous one (red head, we can't use names here). For some reason, she had a strange reaction to me over the phone the summer before the start of 3rd grade. I called her to confirm my initial appt and she was not only dismissive, but a real bitch. Right then, I decided not to trust her and go it alone. DC was ultimately accepted at each of the schools where we applied. The admission directors at each school knew we were a Beauvoir family and apparently just added my DC's app in with the others. I was very charming, courteous, and laid back in my communications with admission team members. I made sure that the application statements that I wrote describing our DC were completely honest. Everyone was extremely helpful, not one asked me why I wasn't applying through the OD. I'm sure OD was miffed as to how my DC's app was already in the mix each time she visited a school to promote Beauvoir apps.

Surprisingly, when December of our app year rolled around and OD contacted the families applying to Cathedral schools with feedback from their admission directors, she called me all cheery talking about my DC and that it looked really good. Ugh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone upthread suggested that the OP might be referring to Beauvoir. I must say that, knowing the Outplacement director there, I highly doubt he would behave the way the OP described. We found him to be very helpful and responsive and willing to help in any way possible. He made the outplacement process very smooth for us although we eventually chose to stay on the close.

Not Beauvoir.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. If the outplacement process you are referring to is Beauvoir's, I was a "renegade" parent and decided to file apps for my DC without the director. However, it was the previous one (red head, we can't use names here). For some reason, she had a strange reaction to me over the phone the summer before the start of 3rd grade. I called her to confirm my initial appt and she was not only dismissive, but a real bitch. Right then, I decided not to trust her and go it alone. DC was ultimately accepted at each of the schools where we applied. The admission directors at each school knew we were a Beauvoir family and apparently just added my DC's app in with the others. I was very charming, courteous, and laid back in my communications with admission team members. I made sure that the application statements that I wrote describing our DC were completely honest. Everyone was extremely helpful, not one asked me why I wasn't applying through the OD. I'm sure OD was miffed as to how my DC's app was already in the mix each time she visited a school to promote Beauvoir apps.

Surprisingly, when December of our app year rolled around and OD contacted the families applying to Cathedral schools with feedback from their admission directors, she called me all cheery talking about my DC and that it looked really good. Ugh!


I am the OP, DD is not at Beauvoir. DD is applying out for 6th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. If the outplacement process you are referring to is Beauvoir's, I was a "renegade" parent and decided to file apps for my DC without the director. However, it was the previous one (red head, we can't use names here). For some reason, she had a strange reaction to me over the phone the summer before the start of 3rd grade. I called her to confirm my initial appt and she was not only dismissive, but a real bitch. Right then, I decided not to trust her and go it alone. DC was ultimately accepted at each of the schools where we applied. The admission directors at each school knew we were a Beauvoir family and apparently just added my DC's app in with the others. I was very charming, courteous, and laid back in my communications with admission team members. I made sure that the application statements that I wrote describing our DC were completely honest. Everyone was extremely helpful, not one asked me why I wasn't applying through the OD. I'm sure OD was miffed as to how my DC's app was already in the mix each time she visited a school to promote Beauvoir apps.

Surprisingly, when December of our app year rolled around and OD contacted the families applying to Cathedral schools with feedback from their admission directors, she called me all cheery talking about my DC and that it looked really good. Ugh!


Is it possible you caught her at a bad moment? Perhaps your DC was aceppted because she graciously promoted her anyway without ever mentioning it to you. Glad it all worked out, but this post is not about being rude, it is about simply not communicating at all, which is rude, but harder to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. If the outplacement process you are referring to is Beauvoir's, I was a "renegade" parent and decided to file apps for my DC without the director. However, it was the previous one (red head, we can't use names here). For some reason, she had a strange reaction to me over the phone the summer before the start of 3rd grade. I called her to confirm my initial appt and she was not only dismissive, but a real bitch. Right then, I decided not to trust her and go it alone. DC was ultimately accepted at each of the schools where we applied. The admission directors at each school knew we were a Beauvoir family and apparently just added my DC's app in with the others. I was very charming, courteous, and laid back in my communications with admission team members. I made sure that the application statements that I wrote describing our DC were completely honest. Everyone was extremely helpful, not one asked me why I wasn't applying through the OD. I'm sure OD was miffed as to how my DC's app was already in the mix each time she visited a school to promote Beauvoir apps.

Surprisingly, when December of our app year rolled around and OD contacted the families applying to Cathedral schools with feedback from their admission directors, she called me all cheery talking about my DC and that it looked really good. Ugh!


Is it possible you caught her at a bad moment? Perhaps your DC was aceppted because she graciously promoted her anyway without ever mentioning it to you. Glad it all worked out, but this post is not about being rude, it is about simply not communicating at all, which is rude, but harder to understand.

Bad moment or not, she wasn't behaving as a professional over the phone. She was argumentative and unpleasant with me for no good reason, instinctively I chose not to waste my energy nor put my child's admissions process at risk dealing with her. What was there for me to communicate with her further?

Yes, I'm absolutely, glad it did all work out.

[Anonymous]

If the outplacement person was rude to begin with, it's easy to understand why PP avoided her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's an inaccurate and unwarranted level of paranoia here.

I think you're wrong, and quite possibly a school administrator. ...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's an inaccurate and unwarranted level of paranoia here.

Ooohhh, you've switched from saying a PP "drank the koolaid" to calling us all paranoid. ...

This is exactly the sort of thing I was talking about. I am not an administrator, just another parent like you. My "level of paranoia" post was my very first one on this thread, so I'm not switching sides on anything.

[Anonymous]

I'm not the PP (11:47), but I'd also point out that the drank the Koolaid language first came from a poster who was using it to characterize people who listened to what their schools had to say. The suggestion was that it was dumb and naive (to use the language of a subsequent post) to think that your kid's school might disagree with you because they had your kid's interests at heart. Nah, it's gotta be some other agenda... Or ignorance on their part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the outplacement person was rude to begin with, it's easy to understand why PP avoided her.

Agreed. I am having a hard time trusting someone who doesn't return emails, ket alone overtly rude.

[Anonymous]

I think this thread has peaked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this thread has peaked.

Does your paycheck come from the Cathedral close?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the outplacement person was rude to begin with, it's easy to understand why PP avoided her.

Agreed. I am having a hard time trusting someone who doesn't return emails, ket alone overtly rude.

I'm a third person who doesn't think it's so cut and dried. Yes, of course the PP who urged us to listen to advice from the outplacement folks had a point - they can provide valuable info on your kid and on other schools. Of course they can.

But that PP painted an extremely rosy picture about the outplacement person always being on your side, always working for you, and always providing advice that's in your best interests. Nor does that PP's interpretation do anything to explain what happened to OP. They didn't return OP's calls? It's not just a question of trusting their "advice." There is apparently NO ADVICE TO IGNORE.

Also, that PP looks very biased (not to mention like a total jerk) when she makes jerky statements like this one: "well then you've been a fool to leave your kid in that school for so many years. And maybe you shouldn't be so confident of your judgment re what school's best in this next round." She's said this 2 or 3 times. Jerk.... Hey, I can totally see a parent thinking the school administration is wonderful until exmissions time. Does this jerky PP think that some schools are just plain rude to parents throughout the elementary years, so that it's immediately obvious when you have a bad school?

A more realistic, less naive, view is to listen to your OD while understanding the OD's motives. This is the view that helps OP - not some jerky statement about how she should take her OD on faith because obviously she makes bad choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This is exactly the sort of thing I was talking about. I am not an administrator, just another parent like you. My "level of paranoia" post was my very first one on this thread, so I'm not switching sides on anything.

Once again: instead attacking other posters by calling them "paranoid" and cherry picking from other posts, why don't you explain why you think we should give our full and implicit trust to school outplacement directors. Why the treatment OP is getting is OK and normal.

Have at it, please! It would actually be very interesting. It would contribute to the discussion. I'm actually looking forward to hearing some substantive points.