Adults only baby shower?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are all these kid-less showers? The showers I've attended had children present, which was nice. Also, I've never seen alcohol served at a baby shower... sounds strange to me.

OP again. That's what I thought. Maybe it's this area? The showers I've been to were in the midwest so maybe more informal and family oriented?

I completely agree. In the midwest it would be strange to not bring your kids to showers, weddings, etc. Only in DC, and particularly on this site have I found people to be so snotty and unwelcoming to kids in social situations.

Do baby showers in the Midwest come with catering and good china and crystal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:@10:08 - I did not know the OP's shower invite specified no children - I thought she wasn't sure and was asking people's opinions on whether or not bringing a 4 month old was okay. I suggested she call the host.

You are correct. The invite did not specify, which is why I'm asking. It seems the majority say no kids, but then there are couple people who say yes, certain ages and sometimes, depending. . .

Anyway, I'm asking because I really didn't know. The two I've been to have been kid friendly, I thought I established that.

The rule is if the baby/child's name is not on the invite, they're not invited. That's the general rule, not just for showers. Why would it be otherwise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC people are ridiculous. and i'm a native.
all the people i know (who are also natives) allow babies and kids at their baby showers. but i'm fairly certain the people i know are not the people everyone else on dcum knows. i am not white and i am not a lawyer and i don't make over 100k. so there you go.

LOL you know, you're probably right. White lawyer making more than $100K here, and I said above that I've only been to kidless showers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are all these kid-less showers? The showers I've attended had children present, which was nice. Also, I've never seen alcohol served at a baby shower... sounds strange to me.

OP again. That's what I thought. Maybe it's this area? The showers I've been to were in the midwest so maybe more informal and family oriented?

I completely agree. In the midwest it would be strange to not bring your kids to showers, weddings, etc. Only in DC, and particularly on this site have I found people to be so snotty and unwelcoming to kids in social situations.

Do baby showers in the Midwest come with catering and good china and crystal?

None that I've been to. Most have been outdoor BBQs and such.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are all these kid-less showers? The showers I've attended had children present, which was nice. Also, I've never seen alcohol served at a baby shower... sounds strange to me.

OP again. That's what I thought. Maybe it's this area? The showers I've been to were in the midwest so maybe more informal and family oriented?

I completely agree. In the midwest it would be strange to not bring your kids to showers, weddings, etc. Only in DC, and particularly on this site have I found people to be so snotty and unwelcoming to kids in social situations.

Do baby showers in the Midwest come with catering and good china and crystal?

None that I've been to. Most have been outdoor BBQs and such.

Well, that may explain why kids are assumed to be welcome. I wouldn't want kids in my house while I have my good china, crystal and tablecloths out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC people are ridiculous. and i'm a native.
all the people i know (who are also natives) allow babies and kids at their baby showers. but i'm fairly certain the people i know are not the people everyone else on dcum knows. i am not white and i am not a lawyer and i don't make over 100k. so there you go.

LOL you know, you're probably right. White lawyer making more than $100K here, and I said above that I've only been to kidless showers.

Interesting. So those of you say "no kids", do you fall into one of these categories:

White
Lawyer (or other high paying profession, if so, what?)
Make more thank 100K
Had china/crystal/catering at your shower or been to showers that had these things

I think it all comes down to how formal/casual the event is.

[Anonymous]

White - no

Lawyer (or other high paying profession, if so, what?) - Lawyer

Make more thank 100K - yes

Had china/crystal/catering at your shower or been to showers that had these things - yes. I'm from Manhattan so throw in servers/wait people too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Should people that can't stand having kids at their baby shower be having children?? Seems like a weird thing to be intolerant to this late in the game? I've never been to a baby shower that wasn't kid friendly.

What a stupid thing to say. I love how the people who think their "special snowflake" is the center of everyone's univrse say the above when their oh so special one is not included.

Has nothing to do with intolerance, it has to do with having personal time and relationships outside your kids. But you strike me as one of those people who criticize others for leaving their kids with family to go on an adult only vacation as well.

This is getting so old.

Why bc you know it's true and it pisses you off? Ok what else should we call this behavior of one's child being the everything in life?

NO ONE here has said their baby needs to be the center of attention. Bringing a kid to an event doesn't mean you think everyone has to dote on them. don't get your panties in a twist.

[Anonymous]

I think the "special snowflake" poster is the type to get pissed when any shred of attention is taken off of her and was probably the worst kind of bridezilla.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are all these kid-less showers? The showers I've attended had children present, which was nice. Also, I've never seen alcohol served at a baby shower... sounds strange to me.

OP again. That's what I thought. Maybe it's this area? The showers I've been to were in the midwest so maybe more informal and family oriented?

I completely agree. In the midwest it would be strange to not bring your kids to showers, weddings, etc. Only in DC, and particularly on this site have I found people to be so snotty and unwelcoming to kids in social situations.

Do baby showers in the Midwest come with catering and good china and crystal?

None that I've been to. Most have been outdoor BBQs and such.

Well, that may explain why kids are assumed to be welcome. I wouldn't want kids in my house while I have my good china, crystal and tablecloths out.

I grew up on a farm in Indiana and kids were not typically invited to baby showers and alcohol was typically served. Kids are welcome at BBQs but I've never been to a baby shower BBQ. I've also never been to a catered baby shower (or wedding shower for that matter) and the good china never came out. It was always baby-themed paper products.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are all these kid-less showers? The showers I've attended had children present, which was nice. Also, I've never seen alcohol served at a baby shower... sounds strange to me.

no alcohol at a baby shower?

Did you have a dry wedding, too?

Actually, yes, I did. Reception was in the church fellowship hall-- no alcohol allowed, and we didn't mind at all. And we had kids there, too! Shocking, huh? It's not about kids being the center of attention; it's about including them as people and members of the family and community. They are not some separate part of your life to be partitioned off. Do you also exclude elderly relatives in wheelchairs or with dementia because their presence might inconvenience you? In the situations I describe, the while group was welcoming of children's presence, so it's not about inflicting one's "special snowflake" on others. No wonder my husband and I are continually amazed by how people view and treat children in this area. Geez. Of course, we are from the south originally, which some on this board have lietrally likened to a third world country, so there you go.

[Anonymous]

I'm one of the earliest PPs who said to just call the hostess and ask. Everyone gets so up in arms. I don't think it's a race, class or money thing at all.

I'm from the Midwest. Friends of my mother threw a shower for me at a country club in the Midwest. No kids.
My baby shower here in DC with my friends was a very casual brunch affair at home. Kids would have been welcome - at that point, there just weren't any moms with kids on the invite list.
Friend's baby shower here in DC a few months ago, specifically mentioned to me "Oh, we hope you're bringing 1yr old DD since we'd love to see her".

A pool party or BBQ is probably much more conducive to being seen as a family event then something a little more sit-down. It's not a matter of partitioning your child off, it's about time and place and what works for the hostess and the guest of honor.

[Anonymous]

I think the OP has a nice excuse to not attend
You really are not missing out on anything
The woman wants all the attention and it is all baby related and a gift-grab.
I would think you should bring the special snowflake, because that is what the mom-to-be is in for
A 4 month old is still quite young to leave with someone else, especially if you are not comfortable doing so. Just let her single friends spoil her, and you save your money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
A 4 month old is still quite young to leave with someone else, especially if you are not comfortable doing so. Just let her single friends spoil her, and you save your money

OP: Is your husband/partner available to watch your child? Do you ever pump and go out without child?

[Anonymous]

Another PP that said no kids here. Also a white lawyer that makes more than $100k. Many, but not all, of the showers that I have attended have been catered or in restaurants. If not at a tea house, they have had alcohol. PP may be onto something.