I am a Selfish Horrible Person

[Anonymous]

I think Teen is doing bad things just to prove that he/she is as unlovable as he/she feels inside. Teen knows his/her own parents gave up (perhaps with good reason), but Teen has the idea that people will give up on him/her and Teen is trying to get you to do the same. This is complicated stuff and Teen needs to deal with it. Doubtful that Teen is going to have the insight to see that she/he is messing up the best thing going in his/her life.

Try to keep an open door. Teen needs a good therapist, but I'm sure he/she won't make use of it if you make that a condition of staying with you. When Teen learns the same lessons (about being honest and having gratitude) in real life, Teen will have more appreciation for what you did offer him/her.

Sounds like Teen needs a very structured environment (like boarding school) that will help him/her develop self respect and love.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP again,

PP thanks for comments, but I think you give Teen way too much credit. It is not low self esteem as much as complete selfishness. Teen lives only for the moment, hand to mouth and has no concern of how their actions will effect anyone else. Teen chose to leave even though by doing so, it would mean losing an entire extended family. It happened to Teen's sibling and will now happen to Teen. Again, I am dissappointed at the short sightness, but maybe falling hard and fast is what Teen needs.

[Anonymous]

What I'm saying is that when a person feels the world is a harsh place, the person might have an attitude of "I'm going to get all that I can before someone screws me over" attitude -- which might look just like your Teen -- selfish and unconcerned about anyone else.

I'm not saying you should put up with a thief or adjust your standards to suit this Teen. I'm just saying that he/she sounds like the kid of kids who go into boot-camp style schools and come out very mannerly and appreciative. They have to learn that THEY are controlling their destiny (instead of blaming everyone else for the problems they create).

[Anonymous]

OP again, teen moved out and is living on friend's couches. Love it and hate it! I appreciate everyone on DCUM repecting our privacy, but since this recent development does impact on gender.... Teen is male.