What should frumpy happily married mom wear to wear to dinner with old boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear Abby -
I'm having an affair with an old flame, and it's destroying my life. My husband is ready to leave me, my children are anxious because they see us fighting all the time. I am miserable and don't know what to do!

It all started when my old flame reached out to me, "for a "casual, how the hell are you" kind of dinner". I'd been feeling a bit frumpy at the time, so it made me feel a little excited that my old flame was reaching out to me!!! A tired mom, who has seen better days.
Also, let me add that I had NO intention or feelings towards him as I really thought my marriage was "rock solid".
Well, after tossing the idea around with a bunch of fucking strangers - they convince me to go for it as it was a "casual dinner. I got my hair done and bought a new outfit - yes, I know, why would I go to such lengths when I really have no feelings for this guy? I don't know, I must have been lying to myself!! By the way, I told my DH about the dinner and he was really keen on it! Looking back, maybe he was having an affair so it made him feel less guilty?? I dunno, but I digress.

So, we met for dinner - it was very casual at first. He ordered my favorite drink - HE REMEMBERED MY FAVORITE DRINK AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!!! Wow, maybe he does still have feelings for me.
So we had cocktails and started sharing photos of our children and spouses. Drink two comes along, and I decide to relax a bit and tell my old flame that although I love my DH - it's just not the same as it was when we were first married. Or when YOU AND I were dating!!
Third drink comes, panties on the ground, DH found out. Kids are crying - WHAT DO I DO???

Signed,
Sorry stupid wife from DC


OP- that is how it's gonna go down. Good luck.

You nailed it! Excellent post!

Yep - this is some dangerous stuff you're playing with. If my DH wanted to see an old flame for a casual dinner - I would have a huge problem with it. And our marriage really is solid. I trust him 100%, and he would never put me in the position to ever have to "give him permission" to see an old girlfriend for a casual dinner. That steps outside the boundaries of a healthy marriage.

Thanks for sharing some common sense with this group. So many posts on this thread sound like high school girls instead of stable married women.

[Anonymous]

THAT is common sense?? I think all the posters who are so certain that dinner with an ex will lead to something are the ones out of whack. How insecure are you that your significant other has to cut off all contact with prior relationships. I can't imagine thinking anything would happen if my DH met any of his ex's for dinner. And no, I am no deluded or naive. Just 100 percent certain that I trust my DH to be an adult.
OP, I hope you have a great time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:THAT is common sense?? I think all the posters who are so certain that dinner with an ex will lead to something are the ones out of whack. How insecure are you that your significant other has to cut off all contact with prior relationships. I can't imagine thinking anything would happen if my DH met any of his ex's for dinner. And no, I am no deluded or naive. Just 100 percent certain that I trust my DH to be an adult.
OP, I hope you have a great time.

No, "not so certain that dinner with an ex WILL lead to something," but that it COULD--doesn't have to be sex--just an emotional relationship that's not helpful to a marriage. I'd be cautious about assuming that anyone is 100% immune to temptation. Life can take on some interesting turns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:THAT is common sense?? I think all the posters who are so certain that dinner with an ex will lead to something are the ones out of whack. How insecure are you that your significant other has to cut off all contact with prior relationships. I can't imagine thinking anything would happen if my DH met any of his ex's for dinner. And no, I am no deluded or naive. Just 100 percent certain that I trust my DH to be an adult.
OP, I hope you have a great time.

No, "not so certain that dinner with an ex WILL lead to something," but that it COULD--doesn't have to be sex--just an emotional relationship that's not helpful to a marriage. I'd be cautious about assuming that anyone is 100% immune to temptation. Life can take on some interesting turns.

If your marriage is questionable, you don't need dinner with an old boyfriend to spark a problem. Affairs start at work, on the playground, at happy hour, or anywhere else two people can interact. If your marriage is strong, you can go anywhere, meet anyone, and still be thrilled to come home to your DH. Don't claim it's not possible until you've been in that kind of relationship, because I am, and it is, and it's great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:THAT is common sense?? I think all the posters who are so certain that dinner with an ex will lead to something are the ones out of whack. How insecure are you that your significant other has to cut off all contact with prior relationships. I can't imagine thinking anything would happen if my DH met any of his ex's for dinner. And no, I am no deluded or naive. Just 100 percent certain that I trust my DH to be an adult.
OP, I hope you have a great time.

No, "not so certain that dinner with an ex WILL lead to something," but that it COULD--doesn't have to be sex--just an emotional relationship that's not helpful to a marriage. I'd be cautious about assuming that anyone is 100% immune to temptation. Life can take on some interesting turns.

If your marriage is questionable, you don't need dinner with an old boyfriend to spark a problem. Affairs start at work, on the playground, at happy hour, or anywhere else two people can interact. If your marriage is strong, you can go anywhere, meet anyone, and still be thrilled to come home to your DH. Don't claim it's not possible until you've been in that kind of relationship, because I am, and it is, and it's great.

Congratulations!