What should frumpy happily married mom wear to wear to dinner with old boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

12:03 - You definitely can NOT tell ANYONE's economic class by their hair. Maybe you are hypersensitive for personal reasons. I know a few people going through illnesses that are extremely well off and do not have good hair because of their illness. Boy, are you shallow. I really do hope this happens to you someday soon. On behalf of my good friends.

OP, I hope you had fun. Do tell!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The hair tip is the most important... I can guess people's economic class by the quality of their hair...a good blow out will make you look classy and well-off. Wear black and a cool necklace with some drop earrings to look sexy. Men love high heels too and nice stockings. I don't care if it is an old boyfriend...you still want to look like the one who shouldn't have gotten away.

I doubt the ex-boyfriend is concerned with her economic class.

[Anonymous]

I think the hair is important--not because of class, but because if they are going to dinner, he is going to looking at the top third of her body, not the bottom half.

BTW, nothing speaks more volumes to an ex BF than a nice, shiny diamond ring. This is what my DH commented upon when he ran into an ex-GF--nothing about her hair, her clothing, it was her ginormous diamond. LOL!

And yeah, looking good is great "revenge." It's not about wanting to hook up, it's more like "I have a great life now."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I posted already but noticed this thread had come back up. Don't feel guilty and enjoy this time with an old friend. I would go too, sure that nothing destructive could come of it. Most people are wise enough to take care of themselves and their family.

Your advice sounds like something a high school girl would give. Pretty pathetic for supposedly mature, happily married women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the hair is important--not because of class, but because if they are going to dinner, he is going to looking at the top third of her body, not the bottom half.

BTW, nothing speaks more volumes to an ex BF than a nice, shiny diamond ring. This is what my DH commented upon when he ran into an ex-GF--nothing about her hair, her clothing, it was her ginormous diamond. LOL!

And yeah, looking good is great "revenge." It's not about wanting to hook up, it's more like "I have a great life now."

Comments straight from 90210 or Friends! VERY mature!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the hair is important--not because of class, but because if they are going to dinner, he is going to looking at the top third of her body, not the bottom half.

BTW, nothing speaks more volumes to an ex BF than a nice, shiny diamond ring. This is what my DH commented upon when he ran into an ex-GF--nothing about her hair, her clothing, it was her ginormous diamond. LOL!

And yeah, looking good is great "revenge." It's not about wanting to hook up, it's more like "I have a great life now."

What grade are you in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The hair tip is the most important... I can guess people's economic class by the quality of their hair...a good blow out will make you look classy and well-off. Wear black and a cool necklace with some drop earrings to look sexy. Men love high heels too and nice stockings. I don't care if it is an old boyfriend...you still want to look like the one who shouldn't have gotten away.

This hair thing works both ways--what you see as high class reads vain, wasteful, and self-obsessed to most people. Like trying too hard and overdoing it, which is tacky.

[Anonymous]

Giant blood diamond also reads both ways, too. The wrong ring makes you look like a shallow gold digger.

[Anonymous]

Dear Abby -
I'm having an affair with an old flame, and it's destroying my life. My husband is ready to leave me, my children are anxious because they see us fighting all the time. I am miserable and don't know what to do!

It all started when my old flame reached out to me, "for a "casual, how the hell are you" kind of dinner". I'd been feeling a bit frumpy at the time, so it made me feel a little excited that my old flame was reaching out to me!!! A tired mom, who has seen better days.
Also, let me add that I had NO intention or feelings towards him as I really thought my marriage was "rock solid".
Well, after tossing the idea around with a bunch of fucking strangers - they convince me to go for it as it was a "casual dinner. I got my hair done and bought a new outfit - yes, I know, why would I go to such lengths when I really have no feelings for this guy? I don't know, I must have been lying to myself!! By the way, I told my DH about the dinner and he was really keen on it! Looking back, maybe he was having an affair so it made him feel less guilty?? I dunno, but I digress.

So, we met for dinner - it was very casual at first. He ordered my favorite drink - HE REMEMBERED MY FAVORITE DRINK AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!!! Wow, maybe he does still have feelings for me.
So we had cocktails and started sharing photos of our children and spouses. Drink two comes along, and I decide to relax a bit and tell my old flame that although I love my DH - it's just not the same as it was when we were first married. Or when YOU AND I were dating!!
Third drink comes, panties on the ground, DH found out. Kids are crying - WHAT DO I DO???

Signed,
Sorry stupid wife from DC


OP- that is how it's gonna go down. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Giant blood diamond also reads both ways, too. The wrong ring makes you look like a shallow gold digger.

It's funny that this comes up. I do have a somewhat conspicuous engagement ring (just shy of 3 carats) and a really nice eternity band and sometimes in situations like this it feels a bit dishonest to not explain that the ring is a family heirloom and the eternity band is because my DH didn't have to buy an engagement ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Giant blood diamond also reads both ways, too. The wrong ring makes you look like a shallow gold digger.

It's funny that this comes up. I do have a somewhat conspicuous engagement ring (just shy of 3 carats) and a really nice eternity band and sometimes in situations like this it feels a bit dishonest to not explain that the ring is a family heirloom and the eternity band is because my DH didn't have to buy an engagement ring.

OP again. I have nice hair too. Maybe I can just drape my hair in front of my face and hold my ring hand up the whole time so he won't notice all the wrinkles and jiggles everywhere else.

[Anonymous]

why are you doing this? men age better- you'll never be the one that got away after kids etc. (I was "desirable" once and am now still a size 4 but not as desirable in my '40s- just a fact- just focus on a dinner with a friend,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear Abby -
I'm having an affair with an old flame, and it's destroying my life. My husband is ready to leave me, my children are anxious because they see us fighting all the time. I am miserable and don't know what to do!

It all started when my old flame reached out to me, "for a "casual, how the hell are you" kind of dinner". I'd been feeling a bit frumpy at the time, so it made me feel a little excited that my old flame was reaching out to me!!! A tired mom, who has seen better days.
Also, let me add that I had NO intention or feelings towards him as I really thought my marriage was "rock solid".
Well, after tossing the idea around with a bunch of fucking strangers - they convince me to go for it as it was a "casual dinner. I got my hair done and bought a new outfit - yes, I know, why would I go to such lengths when I really have no feelings for this guy? I don't know, I must have been lying to myself!! By the way, I told my DH about the dinner and he was really keen on it! Looking back, maybe he was having an affair so it made him feel less guilty?? I dunno, but I digress.

So, we met for dinner - it was very casual at first. He ordered my favorite drink - HE REMEMBERED MY FAVORITE DRINK AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!!! Wow, maybe he does still have feelings for me.
So we had cocktails and started sharing photos of our children and spouses. Drink two comes along, and I decide to relax a bit and tell my old flame that although I love my DH - it's just not the same as it was when we were first married. Or when YOU AND I were dating!!
Third drink comes, panties on the ground, DH found out. Kids are crying - WHAT DO I DO???

Signed,
Sorry stupid wife from DC


OP- that is how it's gonna go down. Good luck.

You nailed it! Excellent post!

[Anonymous]

I totally understand OP - but your fatal flaw was posting too many details. You should have said - meeting a former girl "frenemy" from high school who didn't want things to turn out well for you and they have - you are married, kids, career, and want to look nice.

Honestly, I would love for guys from high school to see me now. I was a skinny dork back then and now at 35, it's great to be skinny! I feel like I've grown into my looks, have an awesome family and a great career in DC vs. the small town where many of them stayed. I certainly don't want to imply I'm better than anyone but I've come out of my shell, I had such low self esteem back then and I cringe at all the years I wasted - I was a cute, smart girl!

So if I was seeing anyone from back then I'd want to make sure I had a killer hair cut and outfit too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear Abby -
I'm having an affair with an old flame, and it's destroying my life. My husband is ready to leave me, my children are anxious because they see us fighting all the time. I am miserable and don't know what to do!

It all started when my old flame reached out to me, "for a "casual, how the hell are you" kind of dinner". I'd been feeling a bit frumpy at the time, so it made me feel a little excited that my old flame was reaching out to me!!! A tired mom, who has seen better days.
Also, let me add that I had NO intention or feelings towards him as I really thought my marriage was "rock solid".
Well, after tossing the idea around with a bunch of fucking strangers - they convince me to go for it as it was a "casual dinner. I got my hair done and bought a new outfit - yes, I know, why would I go to such lengths when I really have no feelings for this guy? I don't know, I must have been lying to myself!! By the way, I told my DH about the dinner and he was really keen on it! Looking back, maybe he was having an affair so it made him feel less guilty?? I dunno, but I digress.

So, we met for dinner - it was very casual at first. He ordered my favorite drink - HE REMEMBERED MY FAVORITE DRINK AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!!! Wow, maybe he does still have feelings for me.
So we had cocktails and started sharing photos of our children and spouses. Drink two comes along, and I decide to relax a bit and tell my old flame that although I love my DH - it's just not the same as it was when we were first married. Or when YOU AND I were dating!!
Third drink comes, panties on the ground, DH found out. Kids are crying - WHAT DO I DO???

Signed,
Sorry stupid wife from DC


OP- that is how it's gonna go down. Good luck.

You nailed it! Excellent post!

Yep - this is some dangerous stuff you're playing with. If my DH wanted to see an old flame for a casual dinner - I would have a huge problem with it. And our marriage really is solid. I trust him 100%, and he would never put me in the position to ever have to "give him permission" to see an old girlfriend for a casual dinner. That steps outside the boundaries of a healthy marriage.