Are standards for fathers that low?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate these threads. I guess it depends on your social circle. No one in mine (mostly two working parents) would find this notable at all

Same. Most of the Dads in my neighborhood/circle are perfectly capable of caring for babies and kids solo (millennial Dads).

Exactly. This is called a stereotype and stereotypes are ignorant.

It's not a stereotype to say that many people in our communities congratulate men for parenting their children. That is a real thing that happens.

+1 Even if your peer group doesn't do this, you will encounter it in the wider community, including older people and teachers. Do my closest friends fawn all over my husband for basic parenting, no. That doesn't mean my mom and MIL, the teachers and principal at our school, people at the park and playground, waiters and waitresses, flight attendants, etc. don't do it. Or that all these people don't offer my husband help and benefit of the doubt when he's parenting around them, while giving moms nothing but judgment and unsolicited advice.

I'm a primary parent father and I've never encountered this. I trust that it DOES happen sometimes, because people talk about it, but it's not universal. The only congratulations I've gotten for parenting was for volunteering and was the same congratulations all the volunteers got. I got A LOT of judgment and unsolicited advice from women when I had younger kids too.

Thanks for sharing your experience. But your experience as one man does not invalidate the experience of numerous women. It doesn't even invalidate the experience of one woman. You can insist you have never been congratulated for parenting your own children until your face turns blue. That doesn't make OP's anecdote or that of numerous other posters false.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate these threads. I guess it depends on your social circle. No one in mine (mostly two working parents) would find this notable at all

Same. Most of the Dads in my neighborhood/circle are perfectly capable of caring for babies and kids solo (millennial Dads).

Exactly. This is called a stereotype and stereotypes are ignorant.

It's not a stereotype to say that many people in our communities congratulate men for parenting their children. That is a real thing that happens.

+1 Even if your peer group doesn't do this, you will encounter it in the wider community, including older people and teachers. Do my closest friends fawn all over my husband for basic parenting, no. That doesn't mean my mom and MIL, the teachers and principal at our school, people at the park and playground, waiters and waitresses, flight attendants, etc. don't do it. Or that all these people don't offer my husband help and benefit of the doubt when he's parenting around them, while giving moms nothing but judgment and unsolicited advice.

I'm a primary parent father and I've never encountered this. I trust that it DOES happen sometimes, because people talk about it, but it's not universal. The only congratulations I've gotten for parenting was for volunteering and was the same congratulations all the volunteers got. I got A LOT of judgment and unsolicited advice from women when I had younger kids too.

Thanks for sharing your experience. But your experience as one man does not invalidate the experience of numerous women. It doesn't even invalidate the experience of one woman. You can insist you have never been congratulated for parenting your own children until your face turns blue. That doesn't make OP's anecdote or that of numerous other posters false.

The pp did not invalidate anything whatsoever. He said that the narrative being discussed is not universal. That’s an obvious fact so what would be the problem of saying so?

It’s not unreasonable to say that fathers would know firsthand the kinds of compliments made to…fathers…. They have plenty of personal experience. It’s obviously based mostly on who you surround yourself with so it is not very thoughtful to make sweeping generations about such an inherently personal experience.

You seem to have a bias that is making you so determined to paint a certain picture about how easy men have it in life. Of course men face advantages in many facets of our society. Parenting is not really one of them in my personal experience.