Would this bother you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may look at the guy as just a friend but I wouldn’t be surprised if the guy looks at you differently and your husband picks that up.

+1

+2, A previous girlfriend broke up with me because I was jealous of one of her male friends, who she conveniently hooked up with a day later. I'll admit it's me projecting, but I'm also thinking you may be leaving out some important information about the relationship with the man you're travelling with.

+100

as a man, I am telling you that nothing good comes out of this for you.
Your marriage is at risk and you would lose trust of your DH. Do what you need to do but decide what you could sacrifice it all for.

I'd be totally fine divorcing a conroling assh0le like this, personally. Not OP BTW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all know women who would rip their husband’s balls off for doing the same thing so get over the yelling part. OP is wrong.

Some truth to this ^

I'm sure some women would do this. I would call them wrong and controlling as well.

(DP). As a DW, I wouldn’t yell or freak out but I would probe DH a little and be a little… concerned. Because it is a little odd to actually coordinate flights with a random college friend, no?

It seems like the spouses who at least don’t dig in and ask questions are the ones with their heads in the sand. If they learn that it’s totally innocent - as I guess it is for OP - then but only then should they give their blessing.

What? No, it's not odd for two people who know each other to coordinate their travel. You could either fly alone or you could fly out with an old friend. Why is the latter weird to you? Do you have friends?

Is the “in secret” part odd to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all know women who would rip their husband’s balls off for doing the same thing so get over the yelling part. OP is wrong.

Some truth to this ^

I'm sure some women would do this. I would call them wrong and controlling as well.

(DP). As a DW, I wouldn’t yell or freak out but I would probe DH a little and be a little… concerned. Because it is a little odd to actually coordinate flights with a random college friend, no?

It seems like the spouses who at least don’t dig in and ask questions are the ones with their heads in the sand. If they learn that it’s totally innocent - as I guess it is for OP - then but only then should they give their blessing.

What? No, it's not odd for two people who know each other to coordinate their travel. You could either fly alone or you could fly out with an old friend. Why is the latter weird to you? Do you have friends?

Is the “in secret” part odd to you?

How is it a secret if she told her husband it's happening?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may look at the guy as just a friend but I wouldn’t be surprised if the guy looks at you differently and your husband picks that up.

+1

+2, A previous girlfriend broke up with me because I was jealous of one of her male friends, who she conveniently hooked up with a day later. I'll admit it's me projecting, but I'm also thinking you may be leaving out some important information about the relationship with the man you're travelling with.

+100

as a man, I am telling you that nothing good comes out of this for you.
Your marriage is at risk and you would lose trust of your DH. Do what you need to do but decide what you could sacrifice it all for.

I'd be totally fine divorcing a conroling assh0le like this, personally. Not OP BTW.

It will be interesting when you find out that your husband has been coordinating travel plans with an old female friend without telling you. Based upon this comment, you would yell and scream and tell your kid that this is how you stand up for yourself when dealing with a lying, cheating loser like their dad.

She is wrong in all facets aside from his reaction to her actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all know women who would rip their husband’s balls off for doing the same thing so get over the yelling part. OP is wrong.

Some truth to this ^

I'm sure some women would do this. I would call them wrong and controlling as well.

(DP). As a DW, I wouldn’t yell or freak out but I would probe DH a little and be a little… concerned. Because it is a little odd to actually coordinate flights with a random college friend, no?

It seems like the spouses who at least don’t dig in and ask questions are the ones with their heads in the sand. If they learn that it’s totally innocent - as I guess it is for OP - then but only then should they give their blessing.

What? No, it's not odd for two people who know each other to coordinate their travel. You could either fly alone or you could fly out with an old friend. Why is the latter weird to you? Do you have friends?

Is the “in secret” part odd to you?

How is it a secret if she told her husband it's happening?

She literally said she booked it without telling him, because she didn’t want to deal with the issues. So she knew it was wrong, didn’t care and did it anyway. Now she is the victim?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may look at the guy as just a friend but I wouldn’t be surprised if the guy looks at you differently and your husband picks that up.

+1

+2, A previous girlfriend broke up with me because I was jealous of one of her male friends, who she conveniently hooked up with a day later. I'll admit it's me projecting, but I'm also thinking you may be leaving out some important information about the relationship with the man you're travelling with.

+100

as a man, I am telling you that nothing good comes out of this for you.
Your marriage is at risk and you would lose trust of your DH. Do what you need to do but decide what you could sacrifice it all for.

I'd be totally fine divorcing a conroling assh0le like this, personally. Not OP BTW.

It will be interesting when you find out that your husband has been coordinating travel plans with an old female friend without telling you. Based upon this comment, you would yell and scream and tell your kid that this is how you stand up for yourself when dealing with a lying, cheating loser like their dad.

She is wrong in all facets aside from his reaction to her actions.

Again, I'm not OP and I wouldn't have a problem with my husband sharing a flight with an old friend. You making stuff up about me to justify your position isn't convincing anyone that you're right or that OP is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Yes and my husband is guilty of this and its insecurity and it can be very unattractive.

I decide who I have sex with. No one is going to change my mind. Just because I am around a man doesnt mean I am going to sleep with him. I have had multiple male roommates, literally just me and a guy- including when I met my now husband. I did not sleep with any of them. It doesnt matter if they wanted to sleep with me. It doesnt matter if your friend wants to sleep with you. The only person who can decide to cheat is you.
And apparently is not "all men" but it is because you cant even be friends with a cis male because they might want to f$Ck you. So what?! Larlo at the pool wants to fuc6, random guy at the gas station, so-and-so's Dad...what your husband is afraid of is the intimacy you have with your friend. Its controlling behavior. Romantic intimacy is not the only intimacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all know women who would rip their husband’s balls off for doing the same thing so get over the yelling part. OP is wrong.

Some truth to this ^

I'm sure some women would do this. I would call them wrong and controlling as well.

(DP). As a DW, I wouldn’t yell or freak out but I would probe DH a little and be a little… concerned. Because it is a little odd to actually coordinate flights with a random college friend, no?

It seems like the spouses who at least don’t dig in and ask questions are the ones with their heads in the sand. If they learn that it’s totally innocent - as I guess it is for OP - then but only then should they give their blessing.

What? No, it's not odd for two people who know each other to coordinate their travel. You could either fly alone or you could fly out with an old friend. Why is the latter weird to you? Do you have friends?

Is the “in secret” part odd to you?

How is it a secret if she told her husband it's happening?

She literally said she booked it without telling him, because she didn’t want to deal with the issues. So she knew it was wrong, didn’t care and did it anyway. Now she is the victim?

SHE DOES NOT NEED HIS PERMISSION. She told him after she booked it because she knows what a controlling ahole he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like it has more to do with this friend in particular, since he doesn’t like him personally. Did you know about this issue already? Does he have good reason for disliking him? If so, you can have your opinions, but are definitely in the wrong from my perspective. His yelling is a product of you showing him a complete lack of respect and not taking his concerns seriously.

My ex wife ended up having an affair with the one “friend” that I disliked immediately. It was a case of soft boundaries creating opportunities for a man with ill intentions. Be careful with this “friend”.

Uhm he yelled because she refused to obey him and cancel the trip. I'd triple down and definitely go now.

+1. If a dh of mine behaved this way, I'd sleep with the friend out of spite.

Hey bby…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all know women who would rip their husband’s balls off for doing the same thing so get over the yelling part. OP is wrong.

Some truth to this ^

I'm sure some women would do this. I would call them wrong and controlling as well.

(DP). As a DW, I wouldn’t yell or freak out but I would probe DH a little and be a little… concerned. Because it is a little odd to actually coordinate flights with a random college friend, no?

It seems like the spouses who at least don’t dig in and ask questions are the ones with their heads in the sand. If they learn that it’s totally innocent - as I guess it is for OP - then but only then should they give their blessing.

What? No, it's not odd for two people who know each other to coordinate their travel. You could either fly alone or you could fly out with an old friend. Why is the latter weird to you? Do you have friends?

Is the “in secret” part odd to you?

How is it a secret if she told her husband it's happening?

She literally said she booked it without telling him, because she didn’t want to deal with the issues. So she knew it was wrong, didn’t care and did it anyway. Now she is the victim?

SHE DOES NOT NEED HIS PERMISSION. She told him after she booked it because she knows what a controlling ahole he is.

No one forced her to form a partnership with anyone, being a partner requires being respectful and transparent. She knows he doesn’t like or trust the friend, but she doesn’t care and decided to go underground like a coward. I would have had the conversation, she pushed a boundary of integrity favoring asking for permission over having the conversation. ALL cheaters have loose boundaries and selfish tendencies in common, she has shown both in this story.

It would be all on him if he did this to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like it has more to do with this friend in particular, since he doesn’t like him personally. Did you know about this issue already? Does he have good reason for disliking him? If so, you can have your opinions, but are definitely in the wrong from my perspective. His yelling is a product of you showing him a complete lack of respect and not taking his concerns seriously.

My ex wife ended up having an affair with the one “friend” that I disliked immediately. It was a case of soft boundaries creating opportunities for a man with ill intentions. Be careful with this “friend”.

Uhm he yelled because she refused to obey him and cancel the trip. I'd triple down and definitely go now.

+1. If a dh of mine behaved this way, I'd sleep with the friend out of spite.

Hey bby…

And just like that the entire reason for the issue goes from he has no right to he should have known…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like it has more to do with this friend in particular, since he doesn’t like him personally. Did you know about this issue already? Does he have good reason for disliking him? If so, you can have your opinions, but are definitely in the wrong from my perspective. His yelling is a product of you showing him a complete lack of respect and not taking his concerns seriously.

My ex wife ended up having an affair with the one “friend” that I disliked immediately. It was a case of soft boundaries creating opportunities for a man with ill intentions. Be careful with this “friend”.

Uhm he yelled because she refused to obey him and cancel the trip. I'd triple down and definitely go now.

+1. If a dh of mine behaved this way, I'd sleep with the friend out of spite.

Hey bby…

And just like that the entire reason for the issue goes from he has no right to he should have known…

This is coming from a man who trusted his wife, but should have known and regrets not setting the boundaries needed to protect our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all know women who would rip their husband’s balls off for doing the same thing so get over the yelling part. OP is wrong.

Some truth to this ^

I'm sure some women would do this. I would call them wrong and controlling as well.

(DP). As a DW, I wouldn’t yell or freak out but I would probe DH a little and be a little… concerned. Because it is a little odd to actually coordinate flights with a random college friend, no?

It seems like the spouses who at least don’t dig in and ask questions are the ones with their heads in the sand. If they learn that it’s totally innocent - as I guess it is for OP - then but only then should they give their blessing.

What? No, it's not odd for two people who know each other to coordinate their travel. You could either fly alone or you could fly out with an old friend. Why is the latter weird to you? Do you have friends?

Is the “in secret” part odd to you?

How is it a secret if she told her husband it's happening?

She literally said she booked it without telling him, because she didn’t want to deal with the issues. So she knew it was wrong, didn’t care and did it anyway. Now she is the victim?

SHE DOES NOT NEED HIS PERMISSION. She told him after she booked it because she knows what a controlling ahole he is.

No one forced her to form a partnership with anyone, being a partner requires being respectful and transparent. She knows he doesn’t like or trust the friend, but she doesn’t care and decided to go underground like a coward. I would have had the conversation, she pushed a boundary of integrity favoring asking for permission over having the conversation. ALL cheaters have loose boundaries and selfish tendencies in common, she has shown both in this story.

It would be all on him if he did this to her.

Why are his feelings about this more important and should trump years of friendship with someone else? She got married. She didn't sign a contract to be a second-class citizen in her marriage. He doesn't like this guy and can't verbalize why. That makes me believe he is just controlling and should not be taken seriously. You sound like a controling assh0le yourself. You talk of cheating when there is ZERO evidence that any cheating has happened or will happen. He can choose to attend the wedding, but refuses to. That also makes me believe that his end goal is just to control her. Yes, being a partner requires being respecftul and transparent. So he should respect that she has friendships outside of marriage that she wishes to continue and he should verbalize actual concerns if he has any.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like it has more to do with this friend in particular, since he doesn’t like him personally. Did you know about this issue already? Does he have good reason for disliking him? If so, you can have your opinions, but are definitely in the wrong from my perspective. His yelling is a product of you showing him a complete lack of respect and not taking his concerns seriously.

My ex wife ended up having an affair with the one “friend” that I disliked immediately. It was a case of soft boundaries creating opportunities for a man with ill intentions. Be careful with this “friend”.

Uhm he yelled because she refused to obey him and cancel the trip. I'd triple down and definitely go now.

+1. If a dh of mine behaved this way, I'd sleep with the friend out of spite.

Hey bby…

And just like that the entire reason for the issue goes from he has no right to he should have known…

How does two people trolling the thread prove anything about OP's situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all know women who would rip their husband’s balls off for doing the same thing so get over the yelling part. OP is wrong.

Some truth to this ^

I'm sure some women would do this. I would call them wrong and controlling as well.

(DP). As a DW, I wouldn’t yell or freak out but I would probe DH a little and be a little… concerned. Because it is a little odd to actually coordinate flights with a random college friend, no?

It seems like the spouses who at least don’t dig in and ask questions are the ones with their heads in the sand. If they learn that it’s totally innocent - as I guess it is for OP - then but only then should they give their blessing.

She is not a schoolgirl, and he is not her daddy. She doesn't need his blessing.

Are you married?