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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We all know women who would rip their husband’s balls off for doing the same thing so get over the yelling part. OP is wrong.  [/quote]

Some truth to this ^[/quote]

I'm sure some women would do this. I would call them wrong and controlling as well. [/quote]

(DP). As a DW, I wouldn’t yell or freak out but I would probe DH a little and be a little… concerned. Because [b]it is a little odd to actually coordinate flights with a random college friend, no?  [/b]

It seems like the spouses who at least don’t dig in and ask questions are the ones with their heads in the sand. If they learn that it’s totally innocent - as I guess it is for OP - then but only then should they give their blessing. [/quote]

What? No, it's not odd for two people who know each other to coordinate their travel. You could either fly alone or you could fly out with an old friend. Why is the latter weird to you? Do you have friends?[/quote]

Is the “in secret” part odd to you?[/quote]

How is it a secret if she told her husband it's happening? [/quote]

She literally said she booked it without telling him, because she didn’t want to deal with the issues.   So she knew it was wrong, didn’t care and did it anyway.  Now she is the victim?[/quote]

SHE DOES NOT NEED HIS PERMISSION. She told him after she booked it because she knows what a controlling ahole he is. [/quote]

No one forced her to form a partnership with anyone, being a partner requires being respectful and transparent.  She knows he doesn’t like or trust the friend, but she doesn’t care and decided to go underground like a coward.  I would have had the conversation, she pushed a boundary of integrity favoring asking for permission over having the conversation.  ALL cheaters have loose boundaries and selfish tendencies in common, she has shown both in this story.

It would be all on him if he did this to her.  [/quote]

Why are his feelings about this more important and should trump years of friendship with someone else? She got married. She didn't sign a contract to be a second-class citizen in her marriage. He doesn't like this guy and can't verbalize why. That makes me believe he is just controlling and should not be taken seriously. You sound like a controling assh0le yourself. You talk of cheating when there is ZERO evidence that any cheating has happened or will happen. He can choose to attend the wedding, but refuses to. That also makes me believe that his end goal is just to control her. Yes, being a partner requires being respecftul and transparent. So he should respect that she has friendships outside of marriage that she wishes to continue and he should verbalize actual concerns if he has any.[/quote]

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