Expensive out-of-town concert—how to help teen handle disappointment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. She's being unbelievably entitled, and unrealisitc. When my daughter (now 28), was that age, she'd know I'd give her a tight slap, if she acted like a brat about this.

Wow! Did you really slap your child?!

Yes, I did.

I hope you’re a troll, but if you aren’t, does your DD still speak to you?

We're very close. We're best friends. We talk every day. She tells me everything.

It sounds like she has Stockholm syndrome.

Or that the one tight slap wasn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Do you really think children can't get over being disciplined like that once or twice in their lives? Talk about a snowflake.

-dp

[Anonymous]

OP with an update! She handled it way better than I thought she would. She seems to understand and is over it. Whew! I was way overreacting. Thanks so much for your advice!

[Anonymous]

I think it’s totally reasonable to say no that it’s not affordable.

However, I am curious why she doesn’t just tag along with her friend and their parent, that would keep expenses way lower ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. She's being unbelievably entitled, and unrealisitc. When my daughter (now 28), was that age, she'd know I'd give her a tight slap, if she acted like a brat about this.

Wow! Did you really slap your child?!

Yes, I did.

I hope you’re a troll, but if you aren’t, does your DD still speak to you?

We're very close. We're best friends. We talk every day. She tells me everything.

It sounds like she has Stockholm syndrome.

Or that the one tight slap wasn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Do you really think children can't get over being disciplined like that once or twice in their lives? Talk about a snowflake.

-dp

There are plenty of ways to discipline kids without slapping them...

[Anonymous]

Glad it worked out OP. Wants vs needs should be an on-going topic in your home. Be sure to communicate with her when you have to make these choices in your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 15 she should be able to understand that it's just too expensive. She is not 5 anymore. I don't know why you're feeling guilty about this at all.

If you live frugally, your kid should already know the answer and shouldn’t be moping about it.

[Anonymous]

I took my daughter to the Taylor swift concert. Tickets were 4k each. We spent 10k to go to this concert.

When I was a kid, I was the one who never had money. I don’t think I even felt bad because we were so poor that I didn’t even ask my mom. My friends would go to concerts, shows and vacations. I never thought to as my parents because I knew they didn’t have money and we wouldn’t be able to go. I ended up just fine. When I was a teenager, I started working and while concerts still weren’t on my radar, I could pay for clothes and hanging out. It made good work ethic. I sometimes worry my kids don’t know the value of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most concerts these days are a total waste of money and time. The "artists" don't sing live, and most of them don't even know how to choreograph a show.

Most singers sing live. It’s the pop music ones who have a look and style but not a top rated voice.

[Anonymous]

Teens make big dramatic statements all the time so "You're ruining my life" over a concert honestly doesn't register that much.

I grew up in a large family and there were lots of things I wished for that weren't feasible. So when I got old enough to earn my own money I learned to budget, pick up extra shifts, and squirrel it away until I could do things like see a Broadway show or my favorite band.

I have more money than my parents did and I still don't drop cash for every want because it's not modeling responsible behavior.

[Anonymous]

She can get a job and help pay.

[Anonymous]

Don’t feel bad, OP. DH and I are about to say no to DD’s request to go on a cross-country trip with a group of friends for a long weekend. Parents will be there, but um, we aren’t comfortable with it, don’t know the parents or some of the kids well, and don’t believe our kid is mature enough or responsible enough for a trip like this yet. And it’s too expensive. She's also 15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 15yo desperately wants to attend a concert that would require travel (7-8 hours round trip), a hotel stay, missed school, and time off work. Tickets alone are already out of budget, and adding travel, lodging, and pet boarding makes it financially unrealistic.

She’s very upset and says I’m “ruining her life,” especially since a friend is going with their parent. I understand the disappointment, but this just isn’t something we can responsibly afford.

How can I help her cope with the disappointment and feel heard, while still holding this boundary? Is this just a “give it time” situation, or are there ways to make it easier on her?

Tell her that she should not be a sheep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not an item to break into emergency fund for…

OP here. Absolutely not! Hence the post! With that said, any advice for explaining this to a 15yo whose life has just been ruined? 😂

Are you serious? Maybe try showing her the pictures from the Pulitzer prize winning photographer this year who documented kids starving to death in war zones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. She's being unbelievably entitled, and unrealisitc. When my daughter (now 28), was that age, she'd know I'd give her a tight slap, if she acted like a brat about this.

Wow! Did you really slap your child?!

Yes, I did.

I hope you’re a troll, but if you aren’t, does your DD still speak to you?

We're very close. We're best friends. We talk every day. She tells me everything.

It sounds like she has Stockholm syndrome.

Or that the one tight slap wasn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Do you really think children can't get over being disciplined like that once or twice in their lives? Talk about a snowflake.

-dp

Just because they can doesn’t mean they should. Would you similarly argue that a wife should just get over being smacked once or twice by her husband because it’s “not a big deal in the grand scheme of things?”

…Now cue the argument as to how abusing a child is somehow more morally justifiable.