Passion is fading. Should I divorce now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are both 35 years old and have been married for 5 years. We have a 7-year-old son together. My husband is a great guy, a wonderful dad, and all that, but I just don’t feel the same passion in our relationship anymore. We have a lot of intimacy, and it’s nice, I do enjoy it, but it used to be so much better. I don’t get that tingling feeling or butterflies when I’m with him like I used to.

We’ve talked about it. He has tried to bring that spark back, but I just can’t feel it anymore.

I’m considering divorce, but I feel guilty because he’s a good man and hasn’t done anything wrong. At the same time, I don’t want to stay and regret my decision later in life. It seems like it would be better to end things now while we’re still relatively young and can start over, right?

You would upend your child’s life because of passion? Why did you bring another human being into this world to put them thru that? There are many reasons to divorce-this is not one of them. Grow up

I agree. If living for yourself was so important to you, you never should've had kids. But you did, and you have to put them first. If you don't, you'll regret it on your deathbed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With a kid, you do not divorce unless there is:
Abuse, Addiction or Adultery

I’m considering waiting until our son is older, but what about my own happiness? Should I really just endure the next decade? Don't I deserve to experience joy and passion? Plus, I don't want to show my son a bad example by remaining in a relationship that makes me unhappy. He'll notice that.
I'm feeling torn.

Ah, the "my kid just wants me to be happy!" poster. That train is never late.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have a good husband & this is something that you should never take for granted.

Don’t believe me?
Read all the threads in this forum!
Ha!!

Marriage (especially after a certain amount of years!) can begin to feel stale & the notion of butterflies + rainbows + unicorns may seem like a pipe dream……
That giddy, schoolgirl feeling we feel in the beginning rarely lasts the duration of a marriage.

It is common at times to yearn for more - - to even convince ourselves that the grass is truly greener on the other side - - but that isn’t always the case.

I would try to appreciate what a great husband you have and if this is not enough > perhaps you two can go to counseling.
I advise you not to throw the towel in so fast since you do share a child together plus he really has not done anything wrong at this point.

Then if you still are not happy and fulfilled, you can move on and seek a divorce.
At least you will be able to do so knowing that you gave it a shot the best way you knew how.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are both 35 years old and have been married for 5 years. We have a 7-year-old son together. My husband is a great guy, a wonderful dad, and all that, but I just don’t feel the same passion in our relationship anymore. We have a lot of intimacy, and it’s nice, I do enjoy it, but it used to be so much better. I don’t get that tingling feeling or butterflies when I’m with him like I used to.

We’ve talked about it. He has tried to bring that spark back, but I just can’t feel it anymore.

I’m considering divorce, but I feel guilty because he’s a good man and hasn’t done anything wrong. At the same time, I don’t want to stay and regret my decision later in life. It seems like it would be better to end things now while we’re still relatively young and can start over, right?

You should feel guilt, you stupid cow.

[Anonymous]

weak troll attempt

[Anonymous]

You either already have someone in mind or in person that you are feeling “passionate” about and/or too much time. Channel that energy to improving yourself and rekindling the romance with your awesome husband and find some hobbies to fill your time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I can say is I'm grateful every single day that my husband's exwife did this. I got the BEST partner out her crazy midlife destruction. She had a rotating door of boyfriends that didn't last and has been alone for a long while - still as self centered and miserable due to lack of unrealistic expectations as ever.

Their kids prefer our home as it's stable, happy, calm, predictable.

Me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you have a good husband & this is something that you should never take for granted.

Don’t believe me?
Read all the threads in this forum!
Ha!!

Marriage (especially after a certain amount of years!) can begin to feel stale & the notion of butterflies + rainbows + unicorns may seem like a pipe dream……
That giddy, schoolgirl feeling we feel in the beginning rarely lasts the duration of a marriage.

It is common at times to yearn for more - - to even convince ourselves that the grass is truly greener on the other side - - but that isn’t always the case.

I would try to appreciate what a great husband you have and if this is not enough > perhaps you two can go to counseling.
I advise you not to throw the towel in so fast since you do share a child together plus he really has not done anything wrong at this point.

Then if you still are not happy and fulfilled, you can move on and seek a divorce.
At least you will be able to do so knowing that you gave it a shot the best way you knew how.
Good luck!

This is true. The days are long and the years are short. If passion is all that is missing then work on getting it back. Good men are hard to find in mid-life. They mostly stay married.

[Anonymous]

Buy yourself a copy of Mating in Captivity and a book on tantra. Figure out how to have bigger orgasms with the great guy that you have.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t over this, but you do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With a kid, you do not divorce unless there is:
Abuse, Addiction or Adultery

I’m considering waiting until our son is older, but what about my own happiness? Should I really just endure the next decade? Don't I deserve to experience joy and passion? Plus, I don't want to show my son a bad example by remaining in a relationship that makes me unhappy. He'll notice that.
I'm feeling torn.

I’m sorry, you are a mom. Your happiness does not matter. Smile and get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With a kid, you do not divorce unless there is:
Abuse, Addiction or Adultery

I’m considering waiting until our son is older, but what about my own happiness? Should I really just endure the next decade? Don't I deserve to experience joy and passion? Plus, I don't want to show my son a bad example by remaining in a relationship that makes me unhappy. He'll notice that.
I'm feeling torn.

I’m sorry, you are a mom. Your happiness does not matter. Smile and get over it.

Not at all true, but let's be honest that being a mom of a young kid in a long term relationship requires a lot of sacrifice and doesn't always feel thrilling and full of passion. Welcome to being an adult with responsibilities. Your son will also notice if you divorce his wonderful father for selfish reasons, you sound like a very immature parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are both 35 years old and have been married for 5 years. We have a 7-year-old son together. My husband is a great guy, a wonderful dad, and all that, but I just don’t feel the same passion in our relationship anymore. We have a lot of intimacy, and it’s nice, I do enjoy it, but it used to be so much better. I don’t get that tingling feeling or butterflies when I’m with him like I used to.

We’ve talked about it. He has tried to bring that spark back, but I just can’t feel it anymore.

I’m considering divorce, but I feel guilty because he’s a good man and hasn’t done anything wrong. At the same time, I don’t want to stay and regret my decision later in life. It seems like it would be better to end things now while we’re still relatively young and can start over, right?

Just come out of the closet already

[Anonymous]

Jesus, no.

[Anonymous]

You have a 7 year old but you've only been married for 5 years. You don't make good decisions. Sure, keep making bad ones.