DD, age 20, is very reluctant to learn to drive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:Driving isn’t like putting one foot in front of another. Safe driving demands skill and confidence. Please don’t unnecessarily endanger everyone else on the road because you want your kid participating.

There’s a reason insurance is sky high for teens and young adults.

But WHY is she not confident? Just her nature, fatal accident in family, attention, parent saying she’s a problem?

Sorry, I would push it. Outside of major cities, it's very limiting to not be able to drive in the US. I'm not setting my kids up to give up opportunities because they are scared of driving. They don't need to do it all the time and then they can decide they hate it and not do it later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:Driving isn’t like putting one foot in front of another. Safe driving demands skill and confidence. Please don’t unnecessarily endanger everyone else on the road because you want your kid participating.

There’s a reason insurance is sky high for teens and young adults.

But WHY is she not confident? Just her nature, fatal accident in family, attention, parent saying she’s a problem?

Sorry, I would push it. Outside of major cities, it's very limiting to not be able to drive in the US. I'm not setting my kids up to give up opportunities because they are scared of driving. They don't need to do it all the time and then they can decide they hate it and not do it later.

+1 We have two DDs who have been anxious about learning to drive but we have pushed them patiently anyway. If they don’t drive in the future that’s up to them but they do need to learn while they are still at home. DD19 got her license right before starting college and DD17 is still practicing with her permit and plans to take the test this summer before senior year of high school. Both are relatively late compared to many others but dealing with anxiety can be challenging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a worst case scenario: I have a relative, aged 40, who to this day hasn’t learned to drive and it’s seriously limited her opportunities in work, dating, and life.

Like a PP she grew up in NYC and lived in walkable cities - until a few years ago, when life circumstances brought her to a non-walkable suburb. Her life has become very small. Even though she would like a new job, she’s limited to fully remote options, which are not nearly as abundant as even a couple of years ago.

I would force the issue, frankly. It’s a basic life skill.

She could always learn, she's only 40. My parents had a friend who got his license at 65 (also NYC). I think he had one when young but it had been lapsed 40 odd years.

Learning is very hard past 30s. You are much more aware of the risk and danger, and inner ear viscosity means it feels worse.

Huh? I will agree that 30 year olds know more about the risks and danger, but inner ear viscosity?

Like why we all feel nauseous on roller coasters now…?….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never try to force anyone to drive.

💯

Driving is peasant coded to be honest

Just means she needs to figure out how to make a nyc life work

[Anonymous]

Absent extreme SN, parents are not doing their job if teens don't learn to drive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:Driving isn’t like putting one foot in front of another. Safe driving demands skill and confidence. Please don’t unnecessarily endanger everyone else on the road because you want your kid participating.

There’s a reason insurance is sky high for teens and young adults.

But WHY is she not confident? Just her nature, fatal accident in family, attention, parent saying she’s a problem?

Sorry, I would push it. Outside of major cities, it's very limiting to not be able to drive in the US. I'm not setting my kids up to give up opportunities because they are scared of driving. They don't need to do it all the time and then they can decide they hate it and not do it later.

+1 We have two DDs who have been anxious about learning to drive but we have pushed them patiently anyway. If they don’t drive in the future that’s up to them but they do need to learn while they are still at home. DD19 got her license right before starting college and DD17 is still practicing with her permit and plans to take the test this summer before senior year of high school. Both are relatively late compared to many others but dealing with anxiety can be challenging.

+2. Unless she plans to live in a city like NYC permanently. Almost every job that I had required driving to the location, or public transportation was available but the commute would be twice as long. Not driving would limit where she can live, work, socialize.

[Anonymous]

Even in the show SATC there was a whole episode based around only one person's ability to drive at all

Not to mention getting out of Manhattan in the first place. Nightmare

I went to Dalton and then my mom's boarding school 10-12, took me getting married and moving to CT where I got my husband's '86 BMW (325 old manual) and his parents gave him a new car

Then I had to learn how to drive that SOB

(the car, not the husband)