inheritance shockers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found out in the last year that my retired father has become quite high net worth, more than 20M. It was an accidental disclosure and I kind of wish I did not know. He has always said with a smile that he would be leaving me a little something, we shall see. I love that he is starting to use the money to help some family members that can really use it and he finds that very rewarding.

DH and I are not counting on it, we hope it will be a long time, but it will be life changing for my sisters (depending on the amount also life changing for me but I am better set for retirement than they are).

DH’s dad also reached to him to talk to him about being his executor and disclosed he had a substantial estate. Again, a shocker and we are hoping there are many years before we see any of that.

DH and I have always expected our moms to divide their estates evenly between their respective children and they will, but that would likely be substantially less than 1M each. We literally had zero expectation that there would be anything from either of our fathers, who are both remarried. The relationships are good, just did not see this coming.

What are they waiting for? I don’t get these parents who have over $20 million, are elderly and have not started transferring their assets. They don’t need to wait.

It does not matter one bit what you "don't get" or do not agree with PP. People have a right to do whatever they want with their money whenever they want. They can literally light it on fire as they lay dying on their hospice bed if that is their desire. It is not for you to understand or worry about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When grandpa died, the will was a shock. He didn't have a ton, but he split it 96/2/2 among his 3 children. MIL thought she was going to get 1/3 of $150k and ended up getting $3k.

He was a deeply flawed human being and no one ever really figured out why he did it. The daughter who inherited it all lived across the country and didn't even come to the funeral. Just weird all around.

Did the daughter with the windfall have a good enough relationship with her two siblings to consider making them whole?

Does the one daughter have to make her other siblings whole? And what about the tax implications? Who will pay for those?
That is a lot of pressure put on the one daughter by no fault of her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found out in the last year that my retired father has become quite high net worth, more than 20M. It was an accidental disclosure and I kind of wish I did not know. He has always said with a smile that he would be leaving me a little something, we shall see. I love that he is starting to use the money to help some family members that can really use it and he finds that very rewarding.

DH and I are not counting on it, we hope it will be a long time, but it will be life changing for my sisters (depending on the amount also life changing for me but I am better set for retirement than they are).

DH’s dad also reached to him to talk to him about being his executor and disclosed he had a substantial estate. Again, a shocker and we are hoping there are many years before we see any of that.

DH and I have always expected our moms to divide their estates evenly between their respective children and they will, but that would likely be substantially less than 1M each. We literally had zero expectation that there would be anything from either of our fathers, who are both remarried. The relationships are good, just did not see this coming.

What are they waiting for? I don’t get these parents who have over $20 million, are elderly and have not started transferring their assets. They don’t need to wait.

It does not matter one bit what you "don't get" or do not agree with PP. People have a right to do whatever they want with their money whenever they want. They can literally light it on fire as they lay dying on their hospice bed if that is their desire. It is not for you to understand or worry about

Yes, of course people have a right to do whatever the hell they want in life. They have a right to be a total a-hole and not want to enjoy seeing their money dispersed while they're still alive. Tjey have a right to see their children struggle and finally get some money that they could have used to actually make something of themselves if they had gotten it sooner. People have a right to do anything including being horrible about their money. What's your point, PP?

[Anonymous]

My step SIL found out after her dad died that he wrote her (but not her blood sibling) out of the will. She said some cruel things to her dad a few years before he died and it turns out he wrote her out of the will a few months after that but did not tell anyone. They were in the process of reconciling when he got sick and died about a week later.

Processing all of this has been very difficult for her and clearly it is not about the money. She has plenty of money and my DH and her sibling have said they will still split what is left of the inheritance with her when her Dad's wife dies. But the fact that her dad wrote her out of the will for reasons she does not fully understand (was it because of what she said or the fact that she is wealthier than the rest of the family?) and without telling her has been very difficult to process. I feel so badly for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found out in the last year that my retired father has become quite high net worth, more than 20M. It was an accidental disclosure and I kind of wish I did not know. He has always said with a smile that he would be leaving me a little something, we shall see. I love that he is starting to use the money to help some family members that can really use it and he finds that very rewarding.

DH and I are not counting on it, we hope it will be a long time, but it will be life changing for my sisters (depending on the amount also life changing for me but I am better set for retirement than they are).

DH’s dad also reached to him to talk to him about being his executor and disclosed he had a substantial estate. Again, a shocker and we are hoping there are many years before we see any of that.

DH and I have always expected our moms to divide their estates evenly between their respective children and they will, but that would likely be substantially less than 1M each. We literally had zero expectation that there would be anything from either of our fathers, who are both remarried. The relationships are good, just did not see this coming.

What are they waiting for? I don’t get these parents who have over $20 million, are elderly and have not started transferring their assets. They don’t need to wait.

It does not matter one bit what you "don't get" or do not agree with PP. People have a right to do whatever they want with their money whenever they want. They can literally light it on fire as they lay dying on their hospice bed if that is their desire. It is not for you to understand or worry about

Yes, of course people have a right to do whatever the hell they want in life. They have a right to be a total a-hole and not want to enjoy seeing their money dispersed while they're still alive. Tjey have a right to see their children struggle and finally get some money that they could have used to actually make something of themselves if they had gotten it sooner. People have a right to do anything including being horrible about their money. What's your point, PP?

My point is that you are in some way triggered by the fact that until the person is dead there is no inheritance. An estate to bequeath literally does not exist. And until it does no one owes you anything PP no matter how "unfair" or poorly managed you seem to think it is. They are not "a-holes" because they will not "enjoy seeing their money dispersed". It is you PP with some issues to work through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My step SIL found out after her dad died that he wrote her (but not her blood sibling) out of the will. She said some cruel things to her dad a few years before he died and it turns out he wrote her out of the will a few months after that but did not tell anyone. They were in the process of reconciling when he got sick and died about a week later.

Processing all of this has been very difficult for her and clearly it is not about the money. She has plenty of money and my DH and her sibling have said they will still split what is left of the inheritance with her when her Dad's wife dies. But the fact that her dad wrote her out of the will for reasons she does not fully understand (was it because of what she said or the fact that she is wealthier than the rest of the family?) and without telling her has been very difficult to process. I feel so badly for her.

He sounds like a nasty piece of work. He probably deserved what she said to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found out in the last year that my retired father has become quite high net worth, more than 20M. It was an accidental disclosure and I kind of wish I did not know. He has always said with a smile that he would be leaving me a little something, we shall see. I love that he is starting to use the money to help some family members that can really use it and he finds that very rewarding.

DH and I are not counting on it, we hope it will be a long time, but it will be life changing for my sisters (depending on the amount also life changing for me but I am better set for retirement than they are).

DH’s dad also reached to him to talk to him about being his executor and disclosed he had a substantial estate. Again, a shocker and we are hoping there are many years before we see any of that.

DH and I have always expected our moms to divide their estates evenly between their respective children and they will, but that would likely be substantially less than 1M each. We literally had zero expectation that there would be anything from either of our fathers, who are both remarried. The relationships are good, just did not see this coming.

What are they waiting for? I don’t get these parents who have over $20 million, are elderly and have not started transferring their assets. They don’t need to wait.

It does not matter one bit what you "don't get" or do not agree with PP. People have a right to do whatever they want with their money whenever they want. They can literally light it on fire as they lay dying on their hospice bed if that is their desire. It is not for you to understand or worry about

Yes, of course people have a right to do whatever the hell they want in life. They have a right to be a total a-hole and not want to enjoy seeing their money dispersed while they're still alive. Tjey have a right to see their children struggle and finally get some money that they could have used to actually make something of themselves if they had gotten it sooner. People have a right to do anything including being horrible about their money. What's your point, PP?

My point is that you are in some way triggered by the fact that until the person is dead there is no inheritance. An estate to bequeath literally does not exist. And until it does no one owes you anything PP no matter how "unfair" or poorly managed you seem to think it is. They are not "a-holes" because they will not "enjoy seeing their money dispersed". It is you PP with some issues to work through.

No shit. We get it. No need to explain again and again and again that no one deserves an inheritance. Not everyone agrees with you. Some people think family is in this together. Most people get ahead in life because of their family. Family money belongs to the generations, not the one person holding it at the moment and there is nothing wrong with acknowleging that and discussing out loud how much people will inherit or planning for it.

I worked for someone really wealthy. It was multi-generational wealth. She had a massive heart attack but lived. She started doling out the money. It wasn't hers -- it was family money -- and that really made a huge difference in the lives of her relatives who otherwise would have been, let's be honest, waiting for her to die.

[Anonymous]

My mother’s father, born circa 1914 in India, had a business dispute that had tied up valuable land that been left unresolved for decades. My cousin who is is a lawyer worked for years to find the heirs of my grandfather to get them to sign an agreement to release the property. When my mom was in her deathbed, each of his kids recieved about $800k after taxes. Since my mom died, our families share went to my brother and I.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My childless, never married uncle left over $1 million to each of the three women who cared for him in his final years.
My two sisters and I each received $10k.

We all had mixed feelings about this but in the end there was nothing to do and we were happy that these ladies had a windfall.
He was estranged from my mother in the last years of his life and rebuffed my sisters' and mine' outreach.

that's good. I would rather do that than giving money to my nephews/nieces who never come to see me. Atleast he also had some fun along the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found out in the last year that my retired father has become quite high net worth, more than 20M. It was an accidental disclosure and I kind of wish I did not know. He has always said with a smile that he would be leaving me a little something, we shall see. I love that he is starting to use the money to help some family members that can really use it and he finds that very rewarding.

DH and I are not counting on it, we hope it will be a long time, but it will be life changing for my sisters (depending on the amount also life changing for me but I am better set for retirement than they are).

DH’s dad also reached to him to talk to him about being his executor and disclosed he had a substantial estate. Again, a shocker and we are hoping there are many years before we see any of that.

DH and I have always expected our moms to divide their estates evenly between their respective children and they will, but that would likely be substantially less than 1M each. We literally had zero expectation that there would be anything from either of our fathers, who are both remarried. The relationships are good, just did not see this coming.

What are they waiting for? I don’t get these parents who have over $20 million, are elderly and have not started transferring their assets. They don’t need to wait.

It does not matter one bit what you "don't get" or do not agree with PP. People have a right to do whatever they want with their money whenever they want. They can literally light it on fire as they lay dying on their hospice bed if that is their desire. It is not for you to understand or worry about

Yes, of course people have a right to do whatever the hell they want in life. They have a right to be a total a-hole and not want to enjoy seeing their money dispersed while they're still alive. Tjey have a right to see their children struggle and finally get some money that they could have used to actually make something of themselves if they had gotten it sooner. People have a right to do anything including being horrible about their money. What's your point, PP?

My point is that you are in some way triggered by the fact that until the person is dead there is no inheritance. An estate to bequeath literally does not exist. And until it does no one owes you anything PP no matter how "unfair" or poorly managed you seem to think it is. They are not "a-holes" because they will not "enjoy seeing their money dispersed". It is you PP with some issues to work through.

No shit. We get it. No need to explain again and again and again that no one deserves an inheritance. Not everyone agrees with you. Some people think family is in this together. Most people get ahead in life because of their family. Family money belongs to the generations, not the one person holding it at the moment and there is nothing wrong with acknowleging that and discussing out loud how much people will inherit or planning for it.

I worked for someone really wealthy. It was multi-generational wealth. She had a massive heart attack but lived. She started doling out the money. It wasn't hers -- it was family money -- and that really made a huge difference in the lives of her relatives who otherwise would have been, let's be honest, waiting for her to die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My childless, never married uncle left over $1 million to each of the three women who cared for him in his final years.
My two sisters and I each received $10k.

We all had mixed feelings about this but in the end there was nothing to do and we were happy that these ladies had a windfall.
He was estranged from my mother in the last years of his life and rebuffed my sisters' and mine' outreach.

that's good. I would rather do that than giving money to my nephews/nieces who never come to see me. Atleast he also had some fun along the way.

+1
It seems fair to give the $ to the ones who show up for you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found out in the last year that my retired father has become quite high net worth, more than 20M. It was an accidental disclosure and I kind of wish I did not know. He has always said with a smile that he would be leaving me a little something, we shall see. I love that he is starting to use the money to help some family members that can really use it and he finds that very rewarding.

DH and I are not counting on it, we hope it will be a long time, but it will be life changing for my sisters (depending on the amount also life changing for me but I am better set for retirement than they are).

DH’s dad also reached to him to talk to him about being his executor and disclosed he had a substantial estate. Again, a shocker and we are hoping there are many years before we see any of that.

DH and I have always expected our moms to divide their estates evenly between their respective children and they will, but that would likely be substantially less than 1M each. We literally had zero expectation that there would be anything from either of our fathers, who are both remarried. The relationships are good, just did not see this coming.

What are they waiting for? I don’t get these parents who have over $20 million, are elderly and have not started transferring their assets. They don’t need to wait.

Step up basis is a powerful way to reduce taxes. Transferring the money when you're alive means realizing capital gains.

No it doesn’t have to go like that. Estate planning is key. Start early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My childless, never married uncle left over $1 million to each of the three women who cared for him in his final years.
My two sisters and I each received $10k.

We all had mixed feelings about this but in the end there was nothing to do and we were happy that these ladies had a windfall.
He was estranged from my mother in the last years of his life and rebuffed my sisters' and mine' outreach.

that's good. I would rather do that than giving money to my nephews/nieces who never come to see me. Atleast he also had some fun along the way.

+1
It seems fair to give the $ to the ones who show up for you

No sh!t and I acknowledged that.I also noted that he rebuffed our outreach. We tried over many many years to reach out to him. He was a loner, likely on the spectrum. I am happy that he died surrounded by nice people.

The reading comprehension of people on this site is incredibly poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found out in the last year that my retired father has become quite high net worth, more than 20M. It was an accidental disclosure and I kind of wish I did not know. He has always said with a smile that he would be leaving me a little something, we shall see. I love that he is starting to use the money to help some family members that can really use it and he finds that very rewarding.

DH and I are not counting on it, we hope it will be a long time, but it will be life changing for my sisters (depending on the amount also life changing for me but I am better set for retirement than they are).

DH’s dad also reached to him to talk to him about being his executor and disclosed he had a substantial estate. Again, a shocker and we are hoping there are many years before we see any of that.

DH and I have always expected our moms to divide their estates evenly between their respective children and they will, but that would likely be substantially less than 1M each. We literally had zero expectation that there would be anything from either of our fathers, who are both remarried. The relationships are good, just did not see this coming.

What are they waiting for? I don’t get these parents who have over $20 million, are elderly and have not started transferring their assets. They don’t need to wait.

It does not matter one bit what you "don't get" or do not agree with PP. People have a right to do whatever they want with their money whenever they want. They can literally light it on fire as they lay dying on their hospice bed if that is their desire. It is not for you to understand or worry about

Yes, of course people have a right to do whatever the hell they want in life. They have a right to be a total a-hole and not want to enjoy seeing their money dispersed while they're still alive. Tjey have a right to see their children struggle and finally get some money that they could have used to actually make something of themselves if they had gotten it sooner. People have a right to do anything including being horrible about their money. What's your point, PP?

I guess his point was to let everyone know that people can, in fact, hang on to their money and burn it at the last minute because it’s theirs!

My in-laws told us it wouldn’t make sense for their kids and grandkids to have to wait until they died. They made a huge difference in our lives. They were both Harvard graduates back in the day but none of the offspring are, all average students who went to state schools. They were very generous people and such good people.

[Anonymous]

A family member works in development. One day the got a call from a lawyer that their organization (advocates for ppl with a specific disability) were left 22 million from someone they had never had any contact woth. The decedent had children but they were estranged and had no perceivable connection to this (or any other) disability. And had no history of any charitable giving and evidently lived extremely modestly. It was like they just chose a charity at random to give their money . Was great for the organization though!