inheritance shockers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My grandfather left his house, next door to us, to me to pay for my college. I was a minor so my mother had power of attorney or somethig. He died when I was 12. We rented it to Stetson Law students for a few years, after I cleaned and painted it all myself. When I was 17 she sold it. She never used any of the money for my college expenses. What she did only really became clear to me later.

Which was what?

She took the house and the sale money, which my grandfather had intended to be used for college. She used it for herself. Probably legal since I was a minor, dunno. But seems wrong to me. She contributed nothing of the money toward college. Actually, she contributed nothing.

I don't know your life but sometimes kids don't have a good picture of the finances. If she used the money to raise you, or if she couldn't afford to keep the property up and current on taxes, selling was legitimate.
If not, then I'm sorry.

How do you know she was supposed to use it for college? Where did you hear that? See it written in a legal document?

If that was his desire, he could have made it happen through better estate planning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorta. 10 years ago, my aunt (mom's sister) died and my brother and I were her only heirs. We both inherited $1M. We knew before she died that we were her beneficiaries so the inheritance and amount was not a shock at all. Her estate was very well organized and her lawyer seemed 100% on top of things.

Fast forward 10 years, we get notice from an annuity company that there was a $200,000 annuity that had never been distributed. We tried to contact the lawyer, but had no luck (long story.). What was shocking was how this one sizable asset was "lost."

My aunt passed shortly after my mom passed and we weren't excited about the inheritance - the grief was so raw. But 10 years later, it was like we won the lottery. I put the money into a dream renovation of my home and my brother used his to help build his retirement home.

You put $1,000,000 in a home renovation?

[Anonymous]

I'm the benficiary and executor of a $10+ million estate. A very frugal relative with no children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorta. 10 years ago, my aunt (mom's sister) died and my brother and I were her only heirs. We both inherited $1M. We knew before she died that we were her beneficiaries so the inheritance and amount was not a shock at all. Her estate was very well organized and her lawyer seemed 100% on top of things.

Fast forward 10 years, we get notice from an annuity company that there was a $200,000 annuity that had never been distributed. We tried to contact the lawyer, but had no luck (long story.). What was shocking was how this one sizable asset was "lost."

My aunt passed shortly after my mom passed and we weren't excited about the inheritance - the grief was so raw. But 10 years later, it was like we won the lottery. I put the money into a dream renovation of my home and my brother used his to help build his retirement home.

You put $1,000,000 in a home renovation?

Read it again. They put their half of a $200K annuity towards a home renovation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My fiance at the time has a long-lost uncle who died, and he was named as the heir to a minor German princely family. He ended up selling his title back for a measly 2 million, which he squandered on sushi, ski trips and Coachella and Burning Man trips

Isn't this what minor aristocrats are supposed to do?

[Anonymous]

I thought my husband was going to inherit $5 million or $6 million. It ended up being closer to $30 million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorta. 10 years ago, my aunt (mom's sister) died and my brother and I were her only heirs. We both inherited $1M. We knew before she died that we were her beneficiaries so the inheritance and amount was not a shock at all. Her estate was very well organized and her lawyer seemed 100% on top of things.

Fast forward 10 years, we get notice from an annuity company that there was a $200,000 annuity that had never been distributed. We tried to contact the lawyer, but had no luck (long story.). What was shocking was how this one sizable asset was "lost."

My aunt passed shortly after my mom passed and we weren't excited about the inheritance - the grief was so raw. But 10 years later, it was like we won the lottery. I put the money into a dream renovation of my home and my brother used his to help build his retirement home.

I am an estate planning paralegal and thought I had heard of it all! Thank you PP for sharing this.

I agree that it is awful that the attorney missed an annuity. That it was is quite concerning for many reasons, but the silver lining part is that it was a wonderful and exciting surprise for this PP and her brother. I can't stop thinking about that and while I would not recommend this, but what if there was a way to actually draft that type of 10 year "hey, there is a bit more!" surprise into an EP document? It is like a hug from the other side in the most surprising way.

Oh, no, I would hate this. Let people plan their finances.
Imagine forgoing private school or that neighborhood you would have preferred or an expensive sport or instrument for your kid, because you needed to be financially responsible, and then finding out there was money for it all along but your deceased relative thought it would be fun to keep it a secret.

We follow (loosely) the idea of "die with nothing". We always knew we would be HNW (hit $8M before age 38) and most likely UHNW someday. We lived comfortably until we hit the $10M+, then we splurged a bit (paid cash for a $1.2M home, but could have easily purchased in the $2.5M+ and in our area that would not be too extravagant (average home price in our area is over $800K+)). but our kids had no clue what we were truly worth. They knew college would be paid for, and they didn't have to worry about the first car, etc. and that we took nicer vacations. But it wasn't until we hit UHNW ($30M+) that they became aware of how much. Now they know, and we gift them yearly to the max, and they invest 95% of it, maxing their ROTHs and 401K and saving for a home. They know we will fund any future grandkids education and other needs (medical, therapies, etc) and will always pay for them to fly and visit us (even once there are SO and grandkids), and they will be included if they want on at least 1-2 vacations per year.

Them having college fully paid for, maxing their retirement from a young age (we matched their IRAs as soon as they started earning W2 income) is much more beneficial than waiting until they are 50+ and we are dead. They know they can choose a "lower paying career path" and still be comfortable, they can afford that house closer to work (so they and their partner have shorter commutes and more time with the family) and with better schools or they can use private schools if they prefer that route. That is a huge advantage for setting their path in life. Once we pay for college, set them up afterwards, give them 10 years of fully funded retirement, a downpayment for a house and fund grandkids education, they really won't "need" anything else. But they will get more along the way and when we die.

But I'd rather give it when we are alive and it matters most to them. But you cannot do that until you are fiscally sound yourself. Until you are 100%+ set for retirement and long term medical care for you and your spouse, you shouldn't be giving away funds to kids/grandkids, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorta. 10 years ago, my aunt (mom's sister) died and my brother and I were her only heirs. We both inherited $1M. We knew before she died that we were her beneficiaries so the inheritance and amount was not a shock at all. Her estate was very well organized and her lawyer seemed 100% on top of things.

Fast forward 10 years, we get notice from an annuity company that there was a $200,000 annuity that had never been distributed. We tried to contact the lawyer, but had no luck (long story.). What was shocking was how this one sizable asset was "lost."

My aunt passed shortly after my mom passed and we weren't excited about the inheritance - the grief was so raw. But 10 years later, it was like we won the lottery. I put the money into a dream renovation of my home and my brother used his to help build his retirement home.

I am an estate planning paralegal and thought I had heard of it all! Thank you PP for sharing this.

I agree that it is awful that the attorney missed an annuity. That it was is quite concerning for many reasons, but the silver lining part is that it was a wonderful and exciting surprise for this PP and her brother. I can't stop thinking about that and while I would not recommend this, but what if there was a way to actually draft that type of 10 year "hey, there is a bit more!" surprise into an EP document? It is like a hug from the other side in the most surprising way.

Oh, no, I would hate this. Let people plan their finances.
Imagine forgoing private school or that neighborhood you would have preferred or an expensive sport or instrument for your kid, because you needed to be financially responsible, and then finding out there was money for it all along but your deceased relative thought it would be fun to keep it a secret.

Well, it is the relatives money until it is not. There are no guarantees ever. They can do with it anything they want including keeping it a secret.
Plus, should we not all be "financially responsible" regardless of what may or may not be ahead?

Very true. But at a certain point/income level, don't you want to help your kids/grandkids while you are alive? And while it matters most to them? Struggling to age 55 and living in a "not the best school district" and then inheriting $2-3M is not the best quality of life. If you are 99% certain they will get that, why not start giving some of it at an earlier point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorta. 10 years ago, my aunt (mom's sister) died and my brother and I were her only heirs. We both inherited $1M. We knew before she died that we were her beneficiaries so the inheritance and amount was not a shock at all. Her estate was very well organized and her lawyer seemed 100% on top of things.

Fast forward 10 years, we get notice from an annuity company that there was a $200,000 annuity that had never been distributed. We tried to contact the lawyer, but had no luck (long story.). What was shocking was how this one sizable asset was "lost."

My aunt passed shortly after my mom passed and we weren't excited about the inheritance - the grief was so raw. But 10 years later, it was like we won the lottery. I put the money into a dream renovation of my home and my brother used his to help build his retirement home.

I am an estate planning paralegal and thought I had heard of it all! Thank you PP for sharing this.

I agree that it is awful that the attorney missed an annuity. That it was is quite concerning for many reasons, but the silver lining part is that it was a wonderful and exciting surprise for this PP and her brother. I can't stop thinking about that and while I would not recommend this, but what if there was a way to actually draft that type of 10 year "hey, there is a bit more!" surprise into an EP document? It is like a hug from the other side in the most surprising way.

Oh, no, I would hate this. Let people plan their finances.
Imagine forgoing private school or that neighborhood you would have preferred or an expensive sport or instrument for your kid, because you needed to be financially responsible, and then finding out there was money for it all along but your deceased relative thought it would be fun to keep it a secret.

We follow (loosely) the idea of "die with nothing". We always knew we would be HNW (hit $8M before age 38) and most likely UHNW someday. We lived comfortably until we hit the $10M+, then we splurged a bit (paid cash for a $1.2M home, but could have easily purchased in the $2.5M+ and in our area that would not be too extravagant (average home price in our area is over $800K+)). but our kids had no clue what we were truly worth. They knew college would be paid for, and they didn't have to worry about the first car, etc. and that we took nicer vacations. But it wasn't until we hit UHNW ($30M+) that they became aware of how much. Now they know, and we gift them yearly to the max, and they invest 95% of it, maxing their ROTHs and 401K and saving for a home. They know we will fund any future grandkids education and other needs (medical, therapies, etc) and will always pay for them to fly and visit us (even once there are SO and grandkids), and they will be included if they want on at least 1-2 vacations per year.

Them having college fully paid for, maxing their retirement from a young age (we matched their IRAs as soon as they started earning W2 income) is much more beneficial than waiting until they are 50+ and we are dead. They know they can choose a "lower paying career path" and still be comfortable, they can afford that house closer to work (so they and their partner have shorter commutes and more time with the family) and with better schools or they can use private schools if they prefer that route. That is a huge advantage for setting their path in life. Once we pay for college, set them up afterwards, give them 10 years of fully funded retirement, a downpayment for a house and fund grandkids education, they really won't "need" anything else. But they will get more along the way and when we die.

But I'd rather give it when we are alive and it matters most to them. But you cannot do that until you are fiscally sound yourself. Until you are 100%+ set for retirement and long term medical care for you and your spouse, you shouldn't be giving away funds to kids/grandkids, IMO.

That’s exactly what my husband’s parents did. The best planning they did was generation skipping trusts. When the kids are adults they have their own individual accounts to use as needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a great Aunt who left all the family money from her husband, my grandmother's brother, to a college which now has an auditorium named after her. What a jerk.

Why a jerk? Sounds like a great thing to do and good decision based on your entitled reaction. Lol

Because it was family money. She didn't make it, and it didn't come from her side of the family either. It had been in my grandmother's family for generations, so yes I was entitled to it. For some reason she thought strangers were more entitled to sitting in an auditorium with her name on it than actual members of the family had to buy a ticket. The people who came to this country and built that wealth wanted it to go to their progeny. It was not hers to give away. Just like the white house is not Trump's to tear down -- he is just the caretaker at the moment, and the Kennedy Center is not his to put his name on.

There is literally nothing wrong with being entitled BTW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My childless, never married uncle left over $1 million to each of the three women who cared for him in his final years.
My two sisters and I each received $10k.

We all had mixed feelings about this but in the end there was nothing to do and we were happy that these ladies had a windfall.
He was estranged from my mother in the last years of his life and rebuffed my sisters' and mine' outreach.

Just curious - did they all live under the same roof in a polyamorous family ?

Um, I don’t think so…he was in a nursing home and they were part of his 24 hour care. They sent us each a photo album of their time with him and some written reflections. It was quite sweet.

My dad now has round the clock care and those people are true heroes.

Wow. I'm AMAZED that the facility allowed them to accept that

DP but I agree but didn’t want to bring it up. People have been responding like oh they’re saints for taking care of him. To me they were just doing their paid job. That being said I wouldn’t upset in the PP’s position since it was a not close uncle. If I was close or it was a parent, I would be livid.

That sounds totally unethical. I no longer think "Wow, yeah, he was right to give it to his caregivers." Those people can be scum and yes, they are being paid to do a job and could very easily con old people out of their money like this. I doubt this is legal. It's certainly not ethical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorta. 10 years ago, my aunt (mom's sister) died and my brother and I were her only heirs. We both inherited $1M. We knew before she died that we were her beneficiaries so the inheritance and amount was not a shock at all. Her estate was very well organized and her lawyer seemed 100% on top of things.

Fast forward 10 years, we get notice from an annuity company that there was a $200,000 annuity that had never been distributed. We tried to contact the lawyer, but had no luck (long story.). What was shocking was how this one sizable asset was "lost."

My aunt passed shortly after my mom passed and we weren't excited about the inheritance - the grief was so raw. But 10 years later, it was like we won the lottery. I put the money into a dream renovation of my home and my brother used his to help build his retirement home.

I am an estate planning paralegal and thought I had heard of it all! Thank you PP for sharing this.

I agree that it is awful that the attorney missed an annuity. That it was is quite concerning for many reasons, but the silver lining part is that it was a wonderful and exciting surprise for this PP and her brother. I can't stop thinking about that and while I would not recommend this, but what if there was a way to actually draft that type of 10 year "hey, there is a bit more!" surprise into an EP document? It is like a hug from the other side in the most surprising way.

Oh, no, I would hate this. Let people plan their finances.
Imagine forgoing private school or that neighborhood you would have preferred or an expensive sport or instrument for your kid, because you needed to be financially responsible, and then finding out there was money for it all along but your deceased relative thought it would be fun to keep it a secret.

Well, it is the relatives money until it is not. There are no guarantees ever. They can do with it anything they want including keeping it a secret.
Plus, should we not all be "financially responsible" regardless of what may or may not be ahead?

Very true. But at a certain point/income level, don't you want to help your kids/grandkids while you are alive? And while it matters most to them? Struggling to age 55 and living in a "not the best school district" and then inheriting $2-3M is not the best quality of life. If you are 99% certain they will get that, why not start giving some of it at an earlier point?

Yeah, this is the kind of thinking that "entitled" people have, while those who don't get it doom their kids to live with poverty mentality and maybe even be low income the majority of their lives. If you give a younger adult some money to start a business or buy a house in a good neighborhood or go to a good college to get a degree in something they like and can make a good living at, it makes a huge difference to the quality of the rest of their lives. Why give someone 60 years old a windfall when the major part of their lives is over already? How sad is that.

[Anonymous]

"
Yes, due to divorce/remarriage. Lesson: if you divorce make your ex maintain life insurance for your kids. Or a new spouse will make sure to take all."

EXCEPT -- That policy should only stay in place up to the point when the child support payments end. If you want to ensure that the kids will receive an inheritance in the event that you remarry, that's a different thing. A life insurance policy can work for that scenario too, but make sure to spell out that it's NOT for the purpose of backfilling child support in the event of an early death before your kids turn 18.

[Anonymous]

My dad, his siblings, and his cousins were recently contacted by a lawyer about an inheritance. Apparently, there was a large parcel of land being sold but when they determined that the estate selling the land wasn't actually entitled to the money, they searched for who was entitled to the inheritance. It turned out that a couple of generations back the man who owned the land killed his wife, who I guess was the technical owner of the land. He was therefore not legally allowed to inherit the land, nor were his children (from a later relationship). The land reverted through the estate, etc, etc. In comes my Dad and his generation.

When all was said and done, I think 10 people ended up inheriting about 20k each. This was entirely unexpected. My parents are pretty well off, and they felt kind of weird about the whole situation, so they donated the money to a battered women's shelter.

It was a really interesting situation.

[Anonymous]

My spouse’s grandmother died when we were in our early 20s. Unexpectedly spouse and sibling were the named beneficiaries on long held whole life insurance policies totaling just over $100,000 each. We had recently purchased our first house and used it to pay off our HELOC and establish a more robust emergency fund, which all in turn allowed us to free up money that had been allocated to those items to increase our 401k contributions.