inheritance shockers

[Anonymous]

My childless, never married uncle left over $1 million to each of the three women who cared for him in his final years.
My two sisters and I each received $10k.

We all had mixed feelings about this but in the end there was nothing to do and we were happy that these ladies had a windfall.
He was estranged from my mother in the last years of his life and rebuffed my sisters' and mine' outreach.

[Anonymous]

For me the biggest inheritance shocker has been how badly people behaved about the inheritance. My husband's family is in the middle of one of those disagreements (jointly owned properties that some people wish to sell and others wish to retain), that will likely result in people literally never speaking to each other ever again, not attending the weddings of nieces and nephews, etc. I never would have predicted that this would be the outcome and it feels so incredibly terrible. Like a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My childless, never married uncle left over $1 million to each of the three women who cared for him in his final years.
My two sisters and I each received $10k.

We all had mixed feelings about this but in the end there was nothing to do and we were happy that these ladies had a windfall.
He was estranged from my mother in the last years of his life and rebuffed my sisters' and mine' outreach.

Just curious - did they all live under the same roof in a polyamorous family ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best thing to do, OP, is to not expect anything from anyone. No one should build their financial plan relying on a hypothetical inheritance. At this point, elder care is so expensive that I imagine our parents will use up all their money in their old age.

My aunt and uncle were millionaires but dementia and chronic illness ate up so much of their savings. Never expect money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My childless, never married uncle left over $1 million to each of the three women who cared for him in his final years.
My two sisters and I each received $10k.

We all had mixed feelings about this but in the end there was nothing to do and we were happy that these ladies had a windfall.
He was estranged from my mother in the last years of his life and rebuffed my sisters' and mine' outreach.

Just curious - did they all live under the same roof in a polyamorous family ?

Um, I don’t think so…he was in a nursing home and they were part of his 24 hour care. They sent us each a photo album of their time with him and some written reflections. It was quite sweet.

My dad now has round the clock care and those people are true heroes.

[Anonymous]

I found out in the last year that my retired father has become quite high net worth, more than 20M. It was an accidental disclosure and I kind of wish I did not know. He has always said with a smile that he would be leaving me a little something, we shall see. I love that he is starting to use the money to help some family members that can really use it and he finds that very rewarding.

DH and I are not counting on it, we hope it will be a long time, but it will be life changing for my sisters (depending on the amount also life changing for me but I am better set for retirement than they are).

DH’s dad also reached to him to talk to him about being his executor and disclosed he had a substantial estate. Again, a shocker and we are hoping there are many years before we see any of that.

DH and I have always expected our moms to divide their estates evenly between their respective children and they will, but that would likely be substantially less than 1M each. We literally had zero expectation that there would be anything from either of our fathers, who are both remarried. The relationships are good, just did not see this coming.

[Anonymous]

My grandmother forgot to list my Dad in her will. Fortunately, it was written in such a way that he was clearly intended to be included*, so it all worked out fine and didn't create any family drama. I don't think there was all that much money anyway.

*It said something like "I leave my estate to my 4 children: A, B, and C.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My childless, never married uncle left over $1 million to each of the three women who cared for him in his final years.
My two sisters and I each received $10k.

We all had mixed feelings about this but in the end there was nothing to do and we were happy that these ladies had a windfall.
He was estranged from my mother in the last years of his life and rebuffed my sisters' and mine' outreach.

Why would he rebuff your outreach? Maybe because it was no contact until he was in his final years. That happens all the time. The women who cared for him 24/7 were deserving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found out in the last year that my retired father has become quite high net worth, more than 20M. It was an accidental disclosure and I kind of wish I did not know. He has always said with a smile that he would be leaving me a little something, we shall see. I love that he is starting to use the money to help some family members that can really use it and he finds that very rewarding.

DH and I are not counting on it, we hope it will be a long time, but it will be life changing for my sisters (depending on the amount also life changing for me but I am better set for retirement than they are).

DH’s dad also reached to him to talk to him about being his executor and disclosed he had a substantial estate. Again, a shocker and we are hoping there are many years before we see any of that.

DH and I have always expected our moms to divide their estates evenly between their respective children and they will, but that would likely be substantially less than 1M each. We literally had zero expectation that there would be anything from either of our fathers, who are both remarried. The relationships are good, just did not see this coming.

What are they waiting for? I don’t get these parents who have over $20 million, are elderly and have not started transferring their assets. They don’t need to wait.

[Anonymous]

I'm part of a big Irish Catholic family and nobody has made big money. No million dollar estates/inheritances, so no drama.

[Anonymous]

For me the biggest inheritance shocker has been how badly people behaved about the inheritance. My husband's family is in the middle of one of those disagreements (jointly owned properties that some people wish to sell and others wish to retain), that will likely result in people literally never speaking to each other ever again, not attending the weddings of nieces and nephews, etc. I never would have predicted that this would be the outcome and it feels so incredibly terrible. Like a divorce.

This happened in my family too. I think it's not uncommon unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

My grandmother left me $800 when she died. Yes, it's almost nothing. But at the time (which was long, long ago), I was a struggling grad student. This money covered rent and some other bills, which gave me a moment away for financial anxiety.

[Anonymous]

My mom inherited about 400k first cousin A
Who did unmarried, no kids, no siblings. She gave half of it to first cousin B, who had also inherited from cousin A but had more grandkids (6 vs 2) so my mom felt he needed it more. Little did she know that the last 4 years of her care would cost 500k.

My mom was always very generous in general and very close to cousin B, but he died about 9 month later and my mom died 4 years later. She was also more or less scammed out of 200k soon after (early dementia) so maybe it’s good she didn’t take all of it. I was a little surprised when I contacted the family of cousin B about her death and heard nothing though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found out in the last year that my retired father has become quite high net worth, more than 20M. It was an accidental disclosure and I kind of wish I did not know. He has always said with a smile that he would be leaving me a little something, we shall see. I love that he is starting to use the money to help some family members that can really use it and he finds that very rewarding.

DH and I are not counting on it, we hope it will be a long time, but it will be life changing for my sisters (depending on the amount also life changing for me but I am better set for retirement than they are).

DH’s dad also reached to him to talk to him about being his executor and disclosed he had a substantial estate. Again, a shocker and we are hoping there are many years before we see any of that.

DH and I have always expected our moms to divide their estates evenly between their respective children and they will, but that would likely be substantially less than 1M each. We literally had zero expectation that there would be anything from either of our fathers, who are both remarried. The relationships are good, just did not see this coming.

What are they waiting for? I don’t get these parents who have over $20 million, are elderly and have not started transferring their assets. They don’t need to wait.

Step up basis is a powerful way to reduce taxes. Transferring the money when you're alive means realizing capital gains.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found out in the last year that my retired father has become quite high net worth, more than 20M. It was an accidental disclosure and I kind of wish I did not know. He has always said with a smile that he would be leaving me a little something, we shall see. I love that he is starting to use the money to help some family members that can really use it and he finds that very rewarding.

DH and I are not counting on it, we hope it will be a long time, but it will be life changing for my sisters (depending on the amount also life changing for me but I am better set for retirement than they are).

DH’s dad also reached to him to talk to him about being his executor and disclosed he had a substantial estate. Again, a shocker and we are hoping there are many years before we see any of that.

DH and I have always expected our moms to divide their estates evenly between their respective children and they will, but that would likely be substantially less than 1M each. We literally had zero expectation that there would be anything from either of our fathers, who are both remarried. The relationships are good, just did not see this coming.

What are they waiting for? I don’t get these parents who have over $20 million, are elderly and have not started transferring their assets. They don’t need to wait.

Step up basis is a powerful way to reduce taxes. Transferring the money when you're alive means realizing capital gains.

And any large gifts given prior to death still get counted against estate tax. We had a large estate to execute and gifts given out even 20 years prior had been rightfully recorded, and lowered the floor in tax calculations if they were over the annual gift amount. 40% off everything over the cap, including revocable trusts, life insurance, real estate, etc. If the deceased pays directly for bills while alive, it is overlooked as gift money, so have grandparents pay rent, credit card bills, tuition bills for high school and sports and other daily bills if they need to reduce their estates. But don’t transfer securities or give chunks of money for a house - or they could get audited.