I accidentally donated DD's collection to Goodwill and she's furious. How to make amends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our rule is if it's not in their room or maker station, we put in a certain table and when it gets filled up, we're allowed to dispose as we please

+ If it's important then keep it in your room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD 17 is a passionate book collector. She has many collections, a fantasy collection a horror collection etc etc. However, I found this stack of reads deep in the storage room. I assumed they were some old books that I didn't read anymore, which was why they were in this location to begin with. To tell the truth I didn't even look at them. Now, I try to be a giving person, so I took these books on my last trip to Goodwill and donated them. Then I forgot about it, until today that is.

She was frantically looking through the basement and explained that she was looking for her "collection." I asked, well aren't those all in your room? She says no, this collection she keeps in the storage room. ? I told her, confused, what had happened. And she screamed. Like, actually screamed.

She explained that she keeps a collection of books that she calls "yowee" (I think that's how you spell it?) in the storage room. I can't understand why? But she said that a lot of these yowee books are really expensive and she's furious with me. I understand. I do. When I was a teen my mom gave away a lot of my "Seventeen" magazines and I was so mad I could barely speak lol. How can I make it up to her? Also what is yowee? Why was it in the storage room? So much I don't understand.

You’ve already apologized and explained it was an accident.

Replace the books and or move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought all parents tossed stuff in the basement as part of regular decluttering. Isn't that what is done to make way for new holiday/birthday presents.

I don't throw away other people's things without asking.

If I didn't my kids would still be hanging on to dried out play doh

Can you not tell the difference between that and a stack of books?

Did you miss all the Karen's saying you can't throw out anything without a signed permission slip from anyone who has every touched it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought all parents tossed stuff in the basement as part of regular decluttering. Isn't that what is done to make way for new holiday/birthday presents.

I don't throw away other people's things without asking.

If I didn't my kids would still be hanging on to dried out play doh

Then you can decide not to buy them new things or you work with them to figure out how to let go of dried out Play-Doh, but throwing away things that aren't yours without permission is wrong. That applies even to kids. I'm sure it's easier for you, but sometimes good parenting is hard.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought all parents tossed stuff in the basement as part of regular decluttering. Isn't that what is done to make way for new holiday/birthday presents.

I don't throw away other people's things without asking.

If I didn't my kids would still be hanging on to dried out play doh

Can you not tell the difference between that and a stack of books?

Did you miss all the Karen's saying you can't throw out anything without a signed permission slip from anyone who has every touched it.

Why is "mom" the one who decides for everyone? Can kids throw out siblings stuff? Can DH throw out DW stuff? Can MIL come over and declutter for adult kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought all parents tossed stuff in the basement as part of regular decluttering. Isn't that what is done to make way for new holiday/birthday presents.

I don't throw away other people's things without asking.

If I didn't my kids would still be hanging on to dried out play doh

Can you not tell the difference between that and a stack of books?

Did you miss all the Karen's saying you can't throw out anything without a signed permission slip from anyone who has every touched it.

Why is "mom" the one who decides for everyone? Can kids throw out siblings stuff? Can DH throw out DW stuff? Can MIL come over and declutter for adult kids?

No one said the mom's decide that. I get reading comprehension is hard, but keep trying.

[Anonymous]

You already made amends. You said sorry.

She learned if it's something really important to her then it doesn't go in the basement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought all parents tossed stuff in the basement as part of regular decluttering. Isn't that what is done to make way for new holiday/birthday presents.

I don't throw away other people's things without asking.

If I didn't my kids would still be hanging on to dried out play doh

Can you not tell the difference between that and a stack of books?

Did you miss all the Karen's saying you can't throw out anything without a signed permission slip from anyone who has every touched it.

Why is "mom" the one who decides for everyone? Can kids throw out siblings stuff? Can DH throw out DW stuff? Can MIL come over and declutter for adult kids?

No one said the mom's decide that. I get reading comprehension is hard, but keep trying.

So if you don't need permission from the owner, then who decides? Posters seem to think it was fine because it wasn't in her room so can any family member throw out stuff from that storage area that isn't theirs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you found this collection of Japanese manga anime books, thought you'd be a giving person and got rid of them at Goodwill instead of asking your family about them? Don't believe this piece of fiction for a minute.

OP here. I should clarify that we are a family that loves art, and we have many art books from different formats and cultures around our house — including, yes, some manga. But as I mentioned, I didn’t give the book a close look before donating it because my assumption that it was one of my own was so immediate. Stupid, I know.

(Side note, I am fairly new to this website, do they have a trolling problem? I’ve been accused of being a troll so many times on this thread already, and scrolling through other threads a LOT of them seem to be people accusing other people of being trolls.)

There is trolling and at least one prolific mom troll with teenage daughter posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you found this collection of Japanese manga anime books, thought you'd be a giving person and got rid of them at Goodwill instead of asking your family about them? Don't believe this piece of fiction for a minute.

OP here. I should clarify that we are a family that loves art, and we have many art books from different formats and cultures around our house — including, yes, some manga. But as I mentioned, I didn’t give the book a close look before donating it because my assumption that it was one of my own was so immediate. Stupid, I know.

(Side note, I am fairly new to this website, do they have a trolling problem? I’ve been accused of being a troll so many times on this thread already, and scrolling through other threads a LOT of them seem to be people accusing other people of being trolls.)

First you said it was a collection of books, now you say it was just one book. Which is it?

[Anonymous]

Don’t ever do it again. Apologize, ask her how you can fix it. Go back to see if you can track them down, explain it was a mistake. They are most likely still some there.

[Anonymous]

Move on.

You said you are sorry. Tell her if she has other things stashed outside her room she needs to get them and keep them in her room.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter needs to apologize to you for the silent treatment.

That is so disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t ever do it again. Apologize, ask her how you can fix it. Go back to see if you can track them down, explain it was a mistake. They are most likely still some there.

Way too over the top.

[Anonymous]

Here's an online goodwill you and DD can browse: https://www.goodwillbooks.com/books/comic-books-graphic-novels/manga.html