I accidentally donated DD's collection to Goodwill and she's furious. How to make amends?

[Anonymous]

DD 17 is a passionate book collector. She has many collections, a fantasy collection a horror collection etc etc. However, I found this stack of reads deep in the storage room. I assumed they were some old books that I didn't read anymore, which was why they were in this location to begin with. To tell the truth I didn't even look at them. Now, I try to be a giving person, so I took these books on my last trip to Goodwill and donated them. Then I forgot about it, until today that is.

She was frantically looking through the basement and explained that she was looking for her "collection." I asked, well aren't those all in your room? She says no, this collection she keeps in the storage room. ? I told her, confused, what had happened. And she screamed. Like, actually screamed.

She explained that she keeps a collection of books that she calls "yowee" (I think that's how you spell it?) in the storage room. I can't understand why? But she said that a lot of these yowee books are really expensive and she's furious with me. I understand. I do. When I was a teen my mom gave away a lot of my "Seventeen" magazines and I was so mad I could barely speak lol. How can I make it up to her? Also what is yowee? Why was it in the storage room? So much I don't understand.

[Anonymous]

Take her to the Goodwill and see if she can find the books? Buy them back if you are able to.

[Anonymous]

Did she say YA, not "yowee"? YA stands for Young Adult.

I would be so upset if my parent did this. Can you go back to the Goodwill, explain what happened, and get them back? Even if you have to pay, they won't cost much there, right? That's what I would do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did she say YA, not "yowee"? YA stands for Young Adult.

I would be so upset if my parent did this. Can you go back to the Goodwill, explain what happened, and get them back? Even if you have to pay, they won't cost much there, right? That's what I would do.

I'm guessing she said "yaoi" a Japanese term for male-male romance written for women.

[Anonymous]

Ask her what she means, OP. You can buy them again for her.

[Anonymous]

I know you meant well, but from her perspective you just tossed something personal and valuable. Of course she screamed.

“Yowee” is almost certainly yaoi. It’s is a genre of Japanese manga and graphic novels focused on romantic/sexual relationships between male characters. A lot of teen girls collect it. It can be explicit, which is probably why she kept it in storage instead of on a cute bookshelf. Privacy, not shame.

Call Goodwill immediately and see if the donation can be pulled. Then apologize… no defensiveness, no “but it was in the basement.” Offer to replace what you can. And generous or not, promise to stop donating things you aren’t certain are donations.

[Anonymous]

Ugh I feel so bad for your daughter. You have to give her money to replace it. Why would you not ask first!

[Anonymous]

Are you all kidding? Male to male romance smut, Japanese anime/manga? Hell no. You don’t replace that crap. She will get over it eventually. Those books wouldn’t be allowed in my house.

[Anonymous]

You saw this collection of Japanese manga hidden away and thought they were yours?? Really?

You need to replace the books. Go to Goodwill and buy back any that are still there. Any that have already sold, you re-purchase for her.

I am livid on behalf of your daughter!

[Anonymous]

I guess your daughter learned to keep things that are really important in her room.

[Anonymous]

It’s clutter and you did her a favor

[Anonymous]

I understand her grief - my father once trashed a comic book collection I had, not knowing they meant a lot to me, and I was never able to find those comics ever again.

She needs to make a list of titles so you can buy them back. Or in the case of slightly risqué stuff, look up prices online, and give her a lump sum so she can purchase what she wants. I don't know how forward her collection is, but I read some slightly out-there manga in high school, and even though it wasn't porn, it wasn't something I wanted to parse over with my parents either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you all kidding? Male to male romance smut, Japanese anime/manga? Hell no. You don’t replace that crap. She will get over it eventually. Those books wouldn’t be allowed in my house.

lol. Ok mom. I’m sure you ONLY were interested in things your parents expressly approved of, right?!

This isn’t the equivalent of having a stash of x rated photos or something. A lot of fans are teen girls and young women who are already into manga/anime, fan fiction, cosplay, Tumblr-adjacent internet culture … basically kids who live online and love storytelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s clutter and you did her a favor

Your kid’s things aren’t “clutter.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD 17 is a passionate book collector. She has many collections, a fantasy collection a horror collection etc etc. However, I found this stack of reads deep in the storage room. I assumed they were some old books that I didn't read anymore, which was why they were in this location to begin with. To tell the truth I didn't even look at them. [bNow, I try to be a giving person, so I took these books on my last trip to Goodwill[/b] and donated them. Then I forgot about it, until today that is.

She was frantically looking through the basement and explained that she was looking for her "collection." I asked, well aren't those all in your room? She says no, this collection she keeps in the storage room. ? I told her, confused, what had happened. And she screamed. Like, actually screamed.

She explained that she keeps a collection of books that she calls "yowee" (I think that's how you spell it?) in the storage room. I can't understand why? But she said that a lot of these yowee books are really expensive and she's furious with me. I understand. I do. When I was a teen my mom gave away a lot of my "Seventeen" magazines and I was so mad I could barely speak lol. How can I make it up to her? Also what is yowee? Why was it in the storage room? So much I don't understand.

That is called making space in your basement
If you want to be a “giving person” donate money to an under resourced library, or donate to Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library

As for DD you need to replace her books