I wish I was chill

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try edibles.

🙄 Telling people to do drugs. Come on.

Accept yourself OP. Its ok lots of people are the same as you.

I bet all of you type-A people would never miss your morning coffee for anything short of armageddon. Don’t act like drugs (caffeine and alcohol) are not a main part of work culture.

I'm not the PP you're responding to, but I wouldn't assume it would solely be the Type A people are saying do drugs and don't do drugs. I think there are plenty of people, chill and not, who are perfectly fine self-medicating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, yesterday I went out to lunch and we changed tables THREE TIMES until I was content. I've never been quite this bad, but still. So, right there with you. Something that helps people not be too annoyed is to make fun of yourself for it and/or make jokes about it. I texted my lunch date later and thanked him for playing a rousing game of musical chairs at lunch with me.

Also, I try to let myself be as uptight as I want with things that only affect me, and then let things slide when they affect others. So my bag is organized EXACTLY how I want it, and I know where everything is. My sock drawer is divided by type of sock. But if I go to a movie with a friend and they want to sit in the middle while I'd rather sit in the back, I sit in the middle. Or if we get a snack and they want to eat at the tables outside and I was thinking we'd eat inside, I just eat outside. Let go of what you can, even if you see the logic in doing it your way.

Isn’t this more like ocd?

I had the same thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try edibles.

😩

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am similar. Like you therapy and meditation helped. Xanax helps in very stressful situations. I have a few mantras (that does not belong to me, this too shall pass, I am a capable woman who can figure it out….). Daily life exercise and getting outside no matter the weather helps. Reading books (hard cover or paperback) that are not too stressful helps. Watching a favorite movie or tv show helps.

What helps me the most is an hour long swim/deep water aerobic class with a hot shower after. It just relaxes me the most.

Taking the edges off helps, but you are right we cannot change who we are- nor should we.

I remembered another mantra when something goes awry (so you don’t have to plan for everything) - “ I/we can do hard things”

[Anonymous]

I thought Felix Unger was dead.

[Anonymous]

You are who you are OP. Just work on self-acceptance and, hopefully, self-love. It takes all kinds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow this took off. Lots of thoughts to process.

Different from others posting, I'm not really Type A. I'm not an overachiever, I don't talk a lot, and I'm not controlling of other people. I would never ask to change tables at a restaurant, and if my dining companion did, I would get so stressed out because I worry it's screwing things up for the staff and that they are annoyed with us and that would be my focus for the rest of the meal.

I'm just neurotic and worry about things a lot. This leads to me not being "game" for things because I over think them, and that's what annoys people. Or just my general vibe, because I'm not relaxed and smiling and go with the flow -- I tend to have a more serious expression on my face and don't come off as relaxed (because I am not). People seem to steer clear of me, and I think it's because I seem tightly wound and stressed out a lot.

It bothers me both because I don't enjoy feeling this way and also because I can tell it is off-putting to others. It's just the whole thing. But I've tried hard to change my nature and become more easy going, and this is just who I am.

OP, this reminds me of a woman i work with. Just in case you are her, I want to tell you that despite (or maybe because of?) your lack of chill, you are a very thoughtful, kind person, and I wish you could be as kind to yourself as you are to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you chill in some ways? I have a friend who many would probably describe as uptight (she even apologizes to me sometimes) but she’s surprisingly chill about a few things that I am not chill about. And I love her despite our differences.

''

is it me? people think i am chill about some things but i have had to work VERY hard on those. but i am type A in other ways. the reason i am Type A is a trauma resonse but i have had to work so hard i CAN be chill about other things - namely my kids, because I don't want to pass alnog my neuoses to them - that people find suprising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything that enters your brain doesn’t need to come out of your mouth.

Think it don’t say it.

Why didn't you keep this one inside your brain, friend?

LOL. This cracked me up, so thanks. OP, I say embrace who you are. If you feel yourself overreacting to situations, that's a different story and probably something you can work on. But this is really how you're wired. Everyone has things about themselves that they don't like. I think it's more productive and makes for a happier life to capitalize on your strengths and run with them.

Signed,
Another Type A-er

You can be Type A AND chill. Those aren’t mutually exclusive.

They aren’t chill. They are just encouraging each other to be annoying. Wild.

Op, you can fix this it’s not that complicated.

You can? isn't that sort of an oxymoron Type A and chill?

[Anonymous]

I 'had' a friend who is not chill and she is just straight up rude and annoying. She would make excuses that she can't help it. Nope. She chose to be a biatch. She lost her friend group and her latest husband just left her. She now too old to help herself. Really sad.

[Anonymous]

Try not entering a room with all of your personality on display. It really is that simple whatever is going on inside your head can stay inside your head.

Keep telling yourself everyone has issues and no one cares about mine. Because it’s the truth, nobody cares, so emote less.

You are welcome.

[Anonymous]

I seem very chill to people. I've had other moms tell me "you're so calm", but I am just really introverted, quiet, but smile a lot and I'm always polite.

I'm actually an absolute nervous wreck with a ton of anxiety on the inside, but expressing it would stress me out more so I don't share any of it and go with the flow to minimize conflict.