Appropriate to wear black to a wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No black.

Maybe get with the times. It's 2026 not 1926

Totally agree. Its OK to wear athleisure to this afternoon wedding.

Well, I was going to break out my thong bathing suit, but it looks like I’ll have to dress for the event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm Parisian born and bred, not from the deep rural South in the US, and would never wear black to a wedding, unless that was the dress code. While black is very elegant, I think it's a very severe shade for weddings, which are supposed to be festive occasions. To me festive means not black. And I don't think much of menswear, to be honest. They don't have much choice and it's all drab.

So don't think of it in terms of city people vs country people or sophisticated vs unpolished. Most of the world doesn't do black for festive occasions, that's all.

Do you not understand that culture and customs vary between urban and rural areas?

Even in urban areas, wearing black to a wedding is very unimaginative. I speak as New Yorker.

Unimaginative, but acceptable, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black dress worn to a wedding always make me think that's the only dress you have in your closet.

This. But the bar is so, so low now for dressing up. The bride will likely just be happy OP didn’t show up in jeans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's fine as you see I'm the replies, lots of people wear black. But personally I feel it's overdone and not festive or the kind of vibe I really wanted at my wedding. That said I didn't dictate what my guests could wear and at the end of the day no one is really going to pay that much attention to a random guest. Just sounds boring.

I’ll never understand this. So it’s cool for men to wear all black (and a white shirt!) but not women? We need to wear bright and cheery colors? For whom?

Are you aware that a wedding is a tradition with traditional cultures. Is it really the occasion to bring your “bucking the trend” attitude to your friend’s day? This is a ‘go along to get along’ situation. You do you - just don’t expect to get invited to many future events like this.

Yes, the prospective brides from all over the world get together to see who dared wear black to a wedding so they know who not to invite.

Perhaps you should only attend non-traditional weddings. They exist.

Perhaps you shouldn't say dumb things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No black.

Maybe get with the times. It's 2026 not 1926

Good manners never go out of style. Let’s add don’t wear overly bold colors or revealing clothing. No beach wear or flip flops. Geez, some people really must have grown up in the tenement housing with no one to teach them the basics.. should we add don’t eat with your hands (except foods designed to), no vulgar language, and no overly aggressive gestures. It’s appropriate to bring a gift.

These social norms are to ensue people are comfortable, which is what good manners mean. Buy a book; there are plenty.

If you want to ensure people are comfortable, don’t make them go out and buy clothing to please you. Let them wear the stuff they already own.

Oh, and the reference to “tenement housing” really shows your class. The people you are trying to emulate would never say it.

I emulate no one - anonymous board and all that. And most people have something appropriate in their closet. I wouldn’t expect anyone to go out and buy something new - where did I say that? I’m sure OP has an appropriate dress in a different color. A 430 wedding is not a black tie event - church clothing would work.

Wearing a black cocktail dress is very different from wearing black tie, sweetie.

Bless your heart. To go on right ahead and wear that cocktail dress then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black dress worn to a wedding always make me think that's the only dress you have in your closet.

...so? Maybe I don't want to buy a dress for your wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm Parisian born and bred, not from the deep rural South in the US, and would never wear black to a wedding, unless that was the dress code. While black is very elegant, I think it's a very severe shade for weddings, which are supposed to be festive occasions. To me festive means not black. And I don't think much of menswear, to be honest. They don't have much choice and it's all drab.

So don't think of it in terms of city people vs country people or sophisticated vs unpolished. Most of the world doesn't do black for festive occasions, that's all.

Do you not understand that culture and customs vary between urban and rural areas?

Even in urban areas, wearing black to a wedding is very unimaginative. I speak as New Yorker.

Unimaginative, but acceptable, IMO.

Agree.
- Someone who recognizes that this is OK but doesn’t do it herself, except when I was a bridesmaid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black dress worn to a wedding always make me think that's the only dress you have in your closet.

...so? Maybe I don't want to buy a dress for your wedding.

I wonder what the stats are on the longevity of marriage and people acting this way towards their guests. Something tells me bridezillas are the first ones to get divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's fine as you see I'm the replies, lots of people wear black. But personally I feel it's overdone and not festive or the kind of vibe I really wanted at my wedding. That said I didn't dictate what my guests could wear and at the end of the day no one is really going to pay that much attention to a random guest. Just sounds boring.

I’ll never understand this. So it’s cool for men to wear all black (and a white shirt!) but not women? We need to wear bright and cheery colors? For whom?

Are you aware that a wedding is a tradition with traditional cultures. Is it really the occasion to bring your “bucking the trend” attitude to your friend’s day? This is a ‘go along to get along’ situation. You do you - just don’t expect to get invited to many future events like this.

What traditional culture dictates the colors a women can wear to a wedding? I’m waiting.

Well, it is definitely considered poor form to wear white to someone else's wedding.
Black is not considered poor form but one would wonder if the guest had a pinched wardrobe budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No black.

Maybe get with the times. It's 2026 not 1926

Good manners never go out of style. Let’s add don’t wear overly bold colors or revealing clothing. No beach wear or flip flops. Geez, some people really must have grown up in the tenement housing with no one to teach them the basics.. should we add don’t eat with your hands (except foods designed to), no vulgar language, and no overly aggressive gestures. It’s appropriate to bring a gift.

These social norms are to ensue people are comfortable, which is what good manners mean. Buy a book; there are plenty.

If you want to ensure people are comfortable, don’t make them go out and buy clothing to please you. Let them wear the stuff they already own.

Oh, and the reference to “tenement housing” really shows your class. The people you are trying to emulate would never say it.

I emulate no one - anonymous board and all that. And most people have something appropriate in their closet. I wouldn’t expect anyone to go out and buy something new - where did I say that? I’m sure OP has an appropriate dress in a different color. A 430 wedding is not a black tie event - church clothing would work.

Wearing a black cocktail dress is very different from wearing black tie, sweetie.

A cocktail dress at 4:30pm?
Kind of weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's fine as you see I'm the replies, lots of people wear black. But personally I feel it's overdone and not festive or the kind of vibe I really wanted at my wedding. That said I didn't dictate what my guests could wear and at the end of the day no one is really going to pay that much attention to a random guest. Just sounds boring.

I’ll never understand this. So it’s cool for men to wear all black (and a white shirt!) but not women? We need to wear bright and cheery colors? For whom?

Are you aware that a wedding is a tradition with traditional cultures. Is it really the occasion to bring your “bucking the trend” attitude to your friend’s day? This is a ‘go along to get along’ situation. You do you - just don’t expect to get invited to many future events like this.

What traditional culture dictates the colors a women can wear to a wedding? I’m waiting.

Well, it is definitely considered poor form to wear white to someone else's wedding.
Black is not considered poor form but one would wonder if the guest had a pinched wardrobe budget.

I once watched a woman try on a wedding dress in a thrift shop and she talked about how it fits and she was going to wear it to a wedding event - but not her wedding.
I told her it was considered bad form to show up the bride at someone else's wedding. It really flummoxed her to hear that.
The weird thing is that she was an older woman and I was younger than her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's fine as you see I'm the replies, lots of people wear black. But personally I feel it's overdone and not festive or the kind of vibe I really wanted at my wedding. That said I didn't dictate what my guests could wear and at the end of the day no one is really going to pay that much attention to a random guest. Just sounds boring.

I’ll never understand this. So it’s cool for men to wear all black (and a white shirt!) but not women? We need to wear bright and cheery colors? For whom?

Are you aware that a wedding is a tradition with traditional cultures. Is it really the occasion to bring your “bucking the trend” attitude to your friend’s day? This is a ‘go along to get along’ situation. You do you - just don’t expect to get invited to many future events like this.

What traditional culture dictates the colors a women can wear to a wedding? I’m waiting.

Well, it is definitely considered poor form to wear white to someone else's wedding.
Black is not considered poor form but one would wonder if the guest had a pinched wardrobe budget.

Wow, you know you were the B in this situation, right? Not her wearing a white dress to a wedding.
I once watched a woman try on a wedding dress in a thrift shop and she talked about how it fits and she was going to wear it to a wedding event - but not her wedding.
I told her it was considered bad form to show up the bride at someone else's wedding. It really flummoxed her to hear that.
The weird thing is that she was an older woman and I was younger than her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know the consensus is that it’s fine for an evening wedding. The wedding in question is on Valentine’s Day at 4:30pm, and while the venue is upscale, the wedding itself is fairly casual (the ceremony will be held at the same location.)

I have a black A line dress with sleeves, thick material and wintery. I was going to dress it up with red or pink jewelry for the “holiday”.

What are the rules on wearing black? Thanks!

I think it's fine for the winter, but I would add a colorful scarf. Given the date, how about red or pink?

[Anonymous]

No black, no white — unless the bride has requested otherwise. It’s really not that hard. No, I’m not 84.

If the OP were absolutely certain that it’s fine with everyone in her social circle, she wouldn’t be asking the opinions of anonymous strangers. Err on the side of not being offensive. If this is truly the only option due to extenuating circumstances despite having a month to come up with another outfit, well, the accessories will help. Somewhat.

Note that the fact that nobody approaches the guest to discuss their clothing choice doesn’t mean that someone wasn’t offended.

[Anonymous]

I’m dumbfounded by all of the anti-black dress posters. I’ve worn black to almost every wedding I have attended (I’m 55) and have fit right in each time - I’d go so far to say most guests wear black dresses at weddings I attend.