Why are men so desperate to be dads

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the dads I know are good, involved parents (the moms too). Probably says a lot about the people you associate with.

Or that you’re 32 yo and don’t know what’s going on inside people’s actual homes and marriages. Here’s a hint: showing up at kiddie soccer is a ruse!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’ve never met a man desperate to be a dad. Are these the same men who have pregnant women fetishes?

Dh is a fantastic dad, as were our own dads. All would have had full, happy lives without children. Dh wasn’t bothered by our own infertility issues.

In my own life, it’s the women I know who really want kids and have to convince men to have kids.

They think dads like me who’ve previously had kids, and are willing to give another women some, are desperate to have more kids for her validation or approval , we aren’t. I’m a good dad, willing to have more, that’s what we’re here to do.

Why do white men like to act as if whatever they're doing is brand new and special? There's nothing new about irresponsible men with hoodrat values running around knocking up multiple women. You're a serial baby daddy because, like all the other serial baby daddies of the world, you're irresponsible with no care for how serious a decision having a baby is.

You know you're not carrying a single pregnancy, you have no intention of doing any of the hard work of raising the child, so why not have 10 kids? You don't care about kids. You care about finding new pussy to leave a mark on. You're the human equivalent of a mosquito that goes around biting one woman after the other. The much maligned inner city absentee dad is your spiritual brother.

I’m already divorced with four kids, I take care of my own kids.

Doubt that very much! I'm sure you write some court-mandated child support checks though.

Why? I posted about this on the remarrying thread. My exwife knows that I’m an involved dad.

Right. Your ex would agree, God is your witness, you swear on your mom, blah blah blah. You're such an involved dad of four young kids, which is why you live full time on this website bashing your ex.

When have I ever bashed her? I said I still respect and love her, we’re still freinds, spend holidays & travel together.

So delulu.

I didn’t say anything untrue, she’s diagnosed.

Crazy and threatening aren't diagnosable conditions. Stop trying to back pedal, you insulted your ex and now that people called that out as a red flag you walk it back. So predictable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My ex brought up kids before I did. He seemed to want kids more than I did - I would have been happy to wait longer. In retrospect, I think it was part of his predation. Wanting kids was a form of love-bombing. He wanted to tie me down early in the relationship in a way that would make it less likely that I would leave. He also wanted to use the kids as a way of demonstrating to others that he was a "good guy" so he could continue his predation.

He was not a child predator. He was a predator of single women -- serial infidelity in which he reeled in single women with a tale of being a good dad in a bad marriage.

He was quite surprised when I confronted him about the cheating only 6 months after the birth of our child, and that I kicked him out only a year later. I think he truly thought that having kids would glue me to him.

All of this was my experience too. Men can use kids the way they use women and everyone else in their lives.

This isn't normal.

It's incredibly common. Does that make it normal? Maybe not. But it happens often.

[Anonymous]

I think men see fathering a child as an accomplishment, an achievement- actually walking the walk as a father or dad is a completely different story. One is seen as an achievement, the other is not supported in our culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think men see fathering a child as an accomplishment, an achievement- actually walking the walk as a father or dad is a completely different story. One is seen as an achievement, the other is not supported in our culture.

No, false.

Who or what does not support men being an active parent parenting? You mean other men?

It sure as F isn’t the women drowning, doing everything, and needing an actual life partner. Or the kids with neglectful “father.”

Society is waiting and waiting for men to step up into full adulthood and be an engaged and involved father, husband, homeowner.

Or by support do you mean coddling them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think men see fathering a child as an accomplishment, an achievement- actually walking the walk as a father or dad is a completely different story. One is seen as an achievement, the other is not supported in our culture.

I don’t know any real parents who think fertilizing an egg is The Achievement.

But I could see a male ManChild thinking that and saying, guess I’m all done here. And disappearing back to his screens and office work for a few decades.

Do their own mothers think they are suddenly parenting and taking care of the house!!??? lol. What a joke.

[Anonymous]

Having a Kid = Adult in some people’s head

Nevermind that one parent is clueless, a mess, and can’t be bothered to shop, cook, clean, or parent ever.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes both parents are a clueless mess. Then grandma has to do everything!
What goes around comes around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When most of them are crappy fathers anyway. Same with women.

Wut

[Anonymous]

What is strange is that there are people that do not want to be moms or dads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is strange is that there are people that do not want to be moms or dads.

Very smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is strange is that there are people that do not want to be moms or dads.

And when you ask them why they say they had one or more shithead parents. That’s why.

[Anonymous]

This is one of those threads were it is intended to be a big circle jerk of women talking about how terrible men are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is one of those threads were it is intended to be a big circle jerk of women talking about how terrible men are.

Then why are you here? Men trolling mommy forums is so weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex brought up kids before I did. He seemed to want kids more than I did - I would have been happy to wait longer. In retrospect, I think it was part of his predation. Wanting kids was a form of love-bombing. He wanted to tie me down early in the relationship in a way that would make it less likely that I would leave. He also wanted to use the kids as a way of demonstrating to others that he was a "good guy" so he could continue his predation.

He was not a child predator. He was a predator of single women -- serial infidelity in which he reeled in single women with a tale of being a good dad in a bad marriage.

He was quite surprised when I confronted him about the cheating only 6 months after the birth of our child, and that I kicked him out only a year later. I think he truly thought that having kids would glue me to him.

All of this was my experience too. Men can use kids the way they use women and everyone else in their lives.

This isn't normal.

No, it isn't normal, but it is quite common to some degree, IMO. Many men see kids as some kind of accoutrement, not as another living being whose life they are responsible for supporting and shaping in an ongoing, positive way.