Reply to Why are men so desperate to be dads

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ex brought up kids before I did.  He seemed to want kids more than I did - I would have been happy to wait longer.  In retrospect, I think it was part of his predation.  Wanting kids was a form of love-bombing.  He wanted to tie me down early in the relationship in a way that would make it less likely that I would leave.  He also wanted to use the kids as a way of demonstrating to others that he was a "good guy" so he could continue his predation.

He was not a child predator.  He was a predator of single women -- serial infidelity in which he reeled in single women with a tale of being a good dad in a bad marriage.

He was quite surprised when I confronted him about the cheating only 6 months after the birth of our child, and that I kicked him out only a year later.  I think he truly thought that having kids would glue me to him.[/quote]
All of this was my experience too. Men can use kids the way they use women and everyone else in their lives.[/quote]

This isn't normal.[/quote]

No, it isn't normal, but it is quite common to some degree, IMO.  Many men see kids as some kind of accoutrement, not as another living being whose life they are responsible for supporting and shaping in an ongoing, positive way. [/quote]

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