Men seem eager to be remarried!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want someone to take care of their home and kids?

And make more kids? It doesn’t make sense.

That’ll show ex wifey and friends he’s a real man, more kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please tell us where these men are and what they do professionally. I do not know anyone who got married and divorced and, in their mid-30s, also makes enough to support two families. I have trouble believing (despite what they are telling you on dates) that they are financially savvy.

You sound like you're looking to be a SAHM. Most divorced men don't have exes who were SAHMs -- they had exes with jobs. None of the divorced men I know are supporting their ex and the kids on their own. They split assets down the middle with no support payments at all because they make around the same as their ex and can provide about the same for their kids. It's DC -- it's lots of dual income professional couples where both people have decent paying jobs and grad degrees.

In this situation, pairing off with another white collar professional is often extra desirable because the one aspect of your life that suffers most from divorce is housing -- you have to sell the family house it to split the proceeds, or one person has to buy the other one out, and housing here is so pricy. But if you can take the proceeds from your sale of the family home and combine your income with another UMC professional, you can return to pretty much the same quality of life as pre-divorce pretty easily.

Now, if you are a single woman looking for a man to support her while she stays home, none of this is going to work for you. But most late-30s single women have careers and are fine working after they marry. If you wanted to SAHM you should have prioritized finding a man in your 20s, preferably via church or synagogue, because the men who want SAHMs usually marry early.

lol. You think you are making a good case for single women to marry 30 year old divorced men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want someone to take care of their home and kids?

And make more kids? It doesn’t make sense.

Why do you think he never had a vasectomy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please tell us where these men are and what they do professionally. I do not know anyone who got married and divorced and, in their mid-30s, also makes enough to support two families. I have trouble believing (despite what they are telling you on dates) that they are financially savvy.

You sound like you're looking to be a SAHM. Most divorced men don't have exes who were SAHMs -- they had exes with jobs. None of the divorced men I know are supporting their ex and the kids on their own. They split assets down the middle with no support payments at all because they make around the same as their ex and can provide about the same for their kids. It's DC -- it's lots of dual income professional couples where both people have decent paying jobs and grad degrees.

In this situation, pairing off with another white collar professional is often extra desirable because the one aspect of your life that suffers most from divorce is housing -- you have to sell the family house it to split the proceeds, or one person has to buy the other one out, and housing here is so pricy. But if you can take the proceeds from your sale of the family home and combine your income with another UMC professional, you can return to pretty much the same quality of life as pre-divorce pretty easily.

Now, if you are a single woman looking for a man to support her while she stays home, none of this is going to work for you. But most late-30s single women have careers and are fine working after they marry. If you wanted to SAHM you should have prioritized finding a man in your 20s, preferably via church or synagogue, because the men who want SAHMs usually marry early.

Lived in WDC since 2005.

Don’t see this but kudos to the women with young kids divorcing neglectful dads and husbands.

Do see high income neglectful men paying child support to their wives who work and are/were default parents. And doing their every other weekend thing plus a dinner, given they are so, so busy and important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being divorced is a tag they want to remove and by remarrying they prove their worthiness and desirability to their social circle and also to their ex.

Bingo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m literally being told by the divorced dads: I want a family structure; I want another kid; I have money and can support a family.

Yeah, they do. They also want someone to do the household stuff (best case, split the load). They do not want to be solely responsible for household and kid stuff. Which is fine, I don't either, but the big question is why did they divorce then?

I divorced when my kids were 15 and 13. I dated but didn't marry until one was graduated from university and the other was a junior in college. I ran my household perfectly fine on my own, and I effectively had 90% physical custody as the kids didn't want to live with their mother for a variety of reasons. Men run their households just fine, thank you very much. And the fact that you automatically slandered an entire gender with this trope indicates lazy, archaic thinking and likely more than a touch of bitterness and projection. You're just not in touch with the real world and your misandry is revolting. Be better.

Maybe take heart in the fact that you defy the stereotype, rather than attacking a woman for pointing that out to you. Most men don’t run households, period. It’s great that you do. But acknowledging the infrequency of that is not misandry.

Different poster. It isn't infrequent at all. It is a perpetuating of a stereotype that men do little at home and aren't capable of managing a home. Just repeating it doesn't make it true. Most of what is on this thread is misandry. Studies of men and their reasons for staying or leaving a marriage give far more complex and nuanced responses than the nastiness leveled here.

It’s not a stereotype babe. The data demonstrate it.

[Anonymous]

Better do your due diligence OP. Once you get old and bitter and uptight like their exes and STBXes, they will just trade you in for a newer model. Happens all the time, read those prenups very carefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want someone to take care of their home and kids?

And make more kids? It doesn’t make sense.

Why do you think he never had a vasectomy?

Guys who start another family with the 2nd wife are morons. Get snipped, fellas.

[Anonymous]

It seems the harpies are still grumpy from the holidays…

I love how this thread can coexist right next to the “Are divorced men solely looking for sex?” thread and while the two are totally opposite in what they are griping about every harpy agrees that men are definitely always wrong…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems the harpies are still grumpy from the holidays…

I love how this thread can coexist right next to the “Are divorced men solely looking for sex?” thread and while the two are totally opposite in what they are griping about every harpy agrees that men are definitely always wrong…

+1. It's funny to see a website that's so convinced it understands men fail even to hit upon a consistent stereotype.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems the harpies are still grumpy from the holidays…

I love how this thread can coexist right next to the “Are divorced men solely looking for sex?” thread and while the two are totally opposite in what they are griping about every harpy agrees that men are definitely always wrong…

Op trolling and sock puppeting. DCUM got so lame the last few years since more advertising started.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems the harpies are still grumpy from the holidays…

I love how this thread can coexist right next to the “Are divorced men solely looking for sex?” thread and while the two are totally opposite in what they are griping about every harpy agrees that men are definitely always wrong…

+1. It's funny to see a website that's so convinced it understands men fail even to hit upon a consistent stereotype.

Seems extremely consistent to most of us. Makes the troll hypotheticals and posts stick out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m literally being told by the divorced dads: I want a family structure; I want another kid; I have money and can support a family.

Yeah, they do. They also want someone to do the household stuff (best case, split the load). They do not want to be solely responsible for household and kid stuff. Which is fine, I don't either, but the big question is why did they divorce then?

I divorced when my kids were 15 and 13. I dated but didn't marry until one was graduated from university and the other was a junior in college. I ran my household perfectly fine on my own, and I effectively had 90% physical custody as the kids didn't want to live with their mother for a variety of reasons. Men run their households just fine, thank you very much. And the fact that you automatically slandered an entire gender with this trope indicates lazy, archaic thinking and likely more than a touch of bitterness and projection. You're just not in touch with the real world and your misandry is revolting. Be better.

Maybe take heart in the fact that you defy the stereotype, rather than attacking a woman for pointing that out to you. Most men don’t run households, period. It’s great that you do. But acknowledging the infrequency of that is not misandry.

Different poster. It isn't infrequent at all. It is a perpetuating of a stereotype that men do little at home and aren't capable of managing a home. Just repeating it doesn't make it true. Most of what is on this thread is misandry. Studies of men and their reasons for staying or leaving a marriage give far more complex and nuanced responses than the nastiness leveled here.

It’s not a stereotype babe. The data demonstrate it.

No, love. Maybe the imaginary data in your head. But not the real world. Please sort your shit before you try to interact with others IRL. You have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want someone to take care of their home and kids?

And make more kids? It doesn’t make sense.

Why do you think he never had a vasectomy?

Guys who start another family with the 2nd wife are morons. Get snipped, fellas.

Along with that comes dating your own age. Younger women don’t want to commit to an old snipped divorced dad with kids from another woman. Hard pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m literally being told by the divorced dads: I want a family structure; I want another kid; I have money and can support a family.

Yeah, they do. They also want someone to do the household stuff (best case, split the load). They do not want to be solely responsible for household and kid stuff. Which is fine, I don't either, but the big question is why did they divorce then?

I divorced when my kids were 15 and 13. I dated but didn't marry until one was graduated from university and the other was a junior in college. I ran my household perfectly fine on my own, and I effectively had 90% physical custody as the kids didn't want to live with their mother for a variety of reasons. Men run their households just fine, thank you very much. And the fact that you automatically slandered an entire gender with this trope indicates lazy, archaic thinking and likely more than a touch of bitterness and projection. You're just not in touch with the real world and your misandry is revolting. Be better.

You are an exception. 90 % of divorces between college educated couples are initiated by women. Male infidelity (#1 cause) ; unequal distribution of labor; controlling tendencies of male spouse; emotional pressure etc.

So yes, something to thing about if a woman dates a divorced man with college degree.

I'm not an exception. Nor would I have called myself a "single dad." I ran a household, yes, but I was divorced, not single.

I wanted to divorce for YEARS before she stepped out. I didn't because I feared how the courts would cut off access to my kids. There was no way I was going to be a Wednesday and every other weekend father. I know a LOT of frustrated men who feel the same way.

Again, I reiterate that men will sacrifice their happiness for their family. I've seen repeatedly, however, that once a woman decides she's unhappy and she blames her husband and the drudgery and labor of raising children for that unhappiness, she will not only be COACHED by therapists to "self-actualize" and leave, she will do so in a hurry. Usually, she wants a big financial payout if she does it. Often, this is with exit affairs -- they get caught up in limerance and think they can divorce, take up with the new guy and collect a fat check every month. At least Virginia and some other states penalize adultery.

The family courts have gotten better about recognizing the contribution of fathers. But they're still woefully behind. And that more than degrees attained, has more to do with the fact that women initiate divorce more than men -- they think they have more to gain.