It’s extremely hard to raise kids in a nice neighborhood without generational wealth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re conflating the value of homes in a neighborhood with the value of the neighbors. Teachers, nurses, firefighters, etc., may not live in the most expensive neighborhoods, but I’d be thrilled to have them as neighbors. Moreover, even the most expensive neighborhoods aren’t immune from crime.

I am a middle-aged nurse living in a DMV zip code with even higher price-per-sq-ft homes than Bethesda or McLean.

It’s actually not great living among the newer arrival millennials who get to buy a $2.8M colonial because Dad set up a trust fund. They tend to be Zach/Emilys with vocal fry (both sexes, yuck) and a poor grasp of community. They outsource absolutely everything and their kids are socially awkward due to being raised by cheap help.

This is very true! I live in affluent neighborhood. Everyone sticks to themselves and everything is outsourced. It’s lonely and everyone appears miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the posters in this thread responding negatively to OP about how they did this in their late 30s or 40s missed the key part of OP's original post which is the focus on people under 35 buying $2-3M+ homes.

Of course if you save for 15-20 years and get paid a lot and maybe inherit a bit too you can buy that high.

OP was focused on those doing it BEFORE 35 which seems like a much narrower pool. Eg even if you're a big law partner, that isn't kicking in until 35 at the earliest. Lobbyists also don't hit close to $1M until mid/late 30s. Tech $ / appreciating RSUs will get you there but we don't have a critical mass of that in the DC area.

This. So many people pooh poohing DC, that they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps, lived in the smallest crappiest house in a nice neighborhood, drove a crappy car, bought at age 40, etc.

That's not the point of OP's post. The point is that when you look around bethesda or mclean in 2026, there are a shocking number of 35 and under people with 3 kids, and 2 bmws and a stay at home wife who are buying all the new and nice homes for $3m+.

This makes absolutely no financial sense and obviously these people are using family money.

OP's point is that that life is certainly locked out to people at age 30 unless you have family money.

[Anonymous]

If I had family money, I’d definitely use it but I’d spend it on private school. Public schools is nice neighborhoods and just pigs with lipstick on. I’ve taught at all kinds of public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to buy a 2 to 3 million dollar house? We bought a half a million dollar house at age 30 in a good school district. Our kids are happy. Our house has gone up in value considerably. We could now afford a million dollar house, but dont need or want it.

Me too, during that Great Recession a year out of law school, then I traded up and refinanced when rates were at 2.8%. Timing…

[Anonymous]

My neighbors in Bethesda are either older, had lucky timing re: trading up and mortgage rates, or earn a lot of money themselves (we are mostly the second one). It’s nothing like when our kids were little and we were in NYC where the generational wealth is glaringly obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nearly everyone making enough to buy in McLean or Bethesda is 35+ and probably 40+. By then you can barely even have kids. If you’re of actual child bearing age you’re probably too broke to comfortably raise a family. Every couple I’ve known who has a SFH in a good zip code and has kids before 30 in this area comes from a UHNW family and buys a house that is 10-20x their annual salary. How many folks under 35 are actually buying 2-3M houses completely on their own without generational wealth? It’s not zero but pretty damn close.

You're either a troll or a striver. Neither is a good look. For one thing, I had two kids between 35-40. For another, we don't live in a great area that is neither McLean nor Bethesda and bought an $850K SFH that we love two years ago when prices were sky high as were interest rates (not the greatest timing) using money that we [gasp!] saved on our own. So sorry we don't fit your narrative, sweetie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the posters in this thread responding negatively to OP about how they did this in their late 30s or 40s missed the key part of OP's original post which is the focus on people under 35 buying $2-3M+ homes.

Of course if you save for 15-20 years and get paid a lot and maybe inherit a bit too you can buy that high.

OP was focused on those doing it BEFORE 35 which seems like a much narrower pool. Eg even if you're a big law partner, that isn't kicking in until 35 at the earliest. Lobbyists also don't hit close to $1M until mid/late 30s. Tech $ / appreciating RSUs will get you there but we don't have a critical mass of that in the DC area.

This. So many people pooh poohing DC, that they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps, lived in the smallest crappiest house in a nice neighborhood, drove a crappy car, bought at age 40, etc.

That's not the point of OP's post. The point is that when you look around bethesda or mclean in 2026, there are a shocking number of 35 and under people with 3 kids, and 2 bmws and a stay at home wife who are buying all the new and nice homes for $3m+.

This makes absolutely no financial sense and obviously these people are using family money.

OP's point is that that life is certainly locked out to people at age 30 unless you have family money.

What a weird statement. OP doesn't have to live in those areas. Plenty of other really nice places she can live without family money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re conflating the value of homes in a neighborhood with the value of the neighbors. Teachers, nurses, firefighters, etc., may not live in the most expensive neighborhoods, but I’d be thrilled to have them as neighbors. Moreover, even the most expensive neighborhoods aren’t immune from crime.

This. Find a normal neighborhood. They exist in Howard, Bowie, Anne arundel, etc. Teachers, firemen, contractors live next to lawyers, rocket scientists, economists. It’s a much better life. No one cares if you buy clothes at target. Service academies are regarded higher than the Ivy League. As someone who grew up in Bethesda and now lives in Crofton it’s so much healthier for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re conflating the value of homes in a neighborhood with the value of the neighbors. Teachers, nurses, firefighters, etc., may not live in the most expensive neighborhoods, but I’d be thrilled to have them as neighbors. Moreover, even the most expensive neighborhoods aren’t immune from crime.

I am a middle-aged nurse living in a DMV zip code with even higher price-per-sq-ft homes than Bethesda or McLean.

It’s actually not great living among the newer arrival millennials who get to buy a $2.8M colonial because Dad set up a trust fund. They tend to be Zach/Emilys with vocal fry (both sexes, yuck) and a poor grasp of community. They outsource absolutely everything and their kids are socially awkward due to being raised by cheap help.

Agree. And if anyone has any doubt how annoying these people are, they need look no further than social media and the types of people social media is clearly catering to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not many people buy a $2+ million home for their first home. A lot of people had kids in a $600k home, sold it for $1 million and then bought a $2+ million home.

This.

You don't buy your forever home at 28. We started by buying a condo, then bought a smaller home when we had kids, and moved up into our "forever home" (McLean, FWIW) when the kids were halfway through elementary school. Through it all, we never took a cent from our parents and were saving/contributing to 529s all along the way. The key was getting into the homeownership game early, building equity via home price appreciation, and then using the appreciation for a downpayment on a bigger home that we could support as our salaries grew.

[Anonymous]

If you pay more attention to your household than what other people have that level of difficulty will be significantly reduced or even disappear. This is not to offend you, OP. People are getting their feelings hurt because they care too much about what others do and think. Be secure and happy with what you have. It’s actually a lot relative to the rest of the world. I am sure you have so much to be grateful for, enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re conflating the value of homes in a neighborhood with the value of the neighbors. Teachers, nurses, firefighters, etc., may not live in the most expensive neighborhoods, but I’d be thrilled to have them as neighbors. Moreover, even the most expensive neighborhoods aren’t immune from crime.

You gotta be careful with nurses. Some of them are very decent but others have low value and sleep around with other staff members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nearly everyone making enough to buy in McLean or Bethesda is 35+ and probably 40+. By then you can barely even have kids. If you’re of actual child bearing age you’re probably too broke to comfortably raise a family. Every couple I’ve known who has a SFH in a good zip code and has kids before 30 in this area comes from a UHNW family and buys a house that is 10-20x their annual salary. How many folks under 35 are actually buying 2-3M houses completely on their own without generational wealth? It’s not zero but pretty damn close.

I did it by investing in individual stocks that went parabolic when I was in my mid-20's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re conflating the value of homes in a neighborhood with the value of the neighbors. Teachers, nurses, firefighters, etc., may not live in the most expensive neighborhoods, but I’d be thrilled to have them as neighbors. Moreover, even the most expensive neighborhoods aren’t immune from crime.

You gotta be careful with nurses. Some of them are very decent but others have low value and sleep around with other staff members.

People in McLean and Bethesda don’t sleep around? None of them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get some perspective. There are other nice places to live besides McLean and Bethesda. And he's some people wait until they are more financially established before they have kids. You sound like a brat who thinks they need the best everything all at once.

My thoughts as well. Lots of nice areas other than these.