It’s extremely hard to raise kids in a nice neighborhood without generational wealth

[Anonymous]

Nearly everyone making enough to buy in McLean or Bethesda is 35+ and probably 40+. By then you can barely even have kids. If you’re of actual child bearing age you’re probably too broke to comfortably raise a family. Every couple I’ve known who has a SFH in a good zip code and has kids before 30 in this area comes from a UHNW family and buys a house that is 10-20x their annual salary. How many folks under 35 are actually buying 2-3M houses completely on their own without generational wealth? It’s not zero but pretty damn close.

[Anonymous]

Get some perspective. There are other nice places to live besides McLean and Bethesda. And he's some people wait until they are more financially established before they have kids. You sound like a brat who thinks they need the best everything all at once.

[Anonymous]

We did. You need high paying jobs and to live below your means to save up a down payment before you have kids.

[Anonymous]

I was raised in an upper middle class neighborhood, where either parents were rich or both parents worked. My dad was in sales and my mom didn't work. It sucked. Had I lived in a less affluent neighborhood I'd have been happier, but I still remember getting teased in sixth grade because I'd never been on an airplane, or to Disney. I remember friends saying flat out they didn't want to come over when it was warm out because we didn't have central AC. I remember new friends laughing at our basement that there wasn't even carpeting and you could see all the pipes and it was just lit with bare lightbulbs. I remember being on a long car ride in HS with three friends who talked about their favorite places in London and Paris, and I didn't even have a passport.

But had we lived somewhere a bit less affluent, I'd have gone through childhood feeling very different. And still would have happily gone to a state college.

[Anonymous]

The idea that you buy a house in your early 20s...we are Boomers and bought our first $150,000 house in the mid 80s at 35. Interest rates were high and we finally had a down payment. DH was an academic and I was a GS-11.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in McLean. I chose to buy a home and raise a family in Vienna, which I assure you is as nice if not better than McLean. You're just a snob pure and simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in an upper middle class neighborhood, where either parents were rich or both parents worked. My dad was in sales and my mom didn't work. It sucked. Had I lived in a less affluent neighborhood I'd have been happier, but I still remember getting teased in sixth grade because I'd never been on an airplane, or to Disney. I remember friends saying flat out they didn't want to come over when it was warm out because we didn't have central AC. I remember new friends laughing at our basement that there wasn't even carpeting and you could see all the pipes and it was just lit with bare lightbulbs. I remember being on a long car ride in HS with three friends who talked about their favorite places in London and Paris, and I didn't even have a passport.

But had we lived somewhere a bit less affluent, I'd have gone through childhood feeling very different. And still would have happily gone to a state college.

Should have found better friends

[Anonymous]

We bought the smallest, fixer-upper, house in our target area of Bethesda after *seriously* tightening our belts for 10 years and living in a one bedroom apartment with our two young children. To say we lived frugally is an understatement that the consumerist people of DCUM cannot even begin to fathom. That's how we were able to afford real estate in that region of MoCo. The reason we decided to move, instead of buying in a more affordable area further out with people in our income bracket, is that:
1. My spouse worked in Bethesda and was tired of commuting.
2. Our oldest had significant special needs, and we had heard the clusters in Bethesda were much better at caring for SN kids. Which turned out to be entirely true, from elementary to high school!

This was years ago, but our salaries were extremely low compared to the cost of our modest house. We could only buy because we had tightened our belts over such a long period of time that we had enough for a sizeable downpayment, which meant we could afford the mortgage on the rest.

[Anonymous]

You’re conflating the value of homes in a neighborhood with the value of the neighbors. Teachers, nurses, firefighters, etc., may not live in the most expensive neighborhoods, but I’d be thrilled to have them as neighbors. Moreover, even the most expensive neighborhoods aren’t immune from crime.

[Anonymous]

The lifestyles people want to live now (affluent town, 2+ expensive vacations a year, camps, preschools, thousands of dollars/year in children’s activities / enrichment, pool club, 2 nice cars, DoorDash / frequent dining out, funding private college, etc) have always been for the affluent. The merely UMC can scrimp and save and have just the home in the affluent neighborhood OR they can have some of the above and live in a less affluent neighborhood. I grew up in a wealthy NYC burb in a house with no central AC and we didn’t take a flying vacation until my sister was 10 and I was 5, and we ate 99% of our meals at home. “Well off” then was more modest than it is now.

Anyway - we moved to a college town in the Midwest and feel like we can “have it all” here- except the fancy zip code.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nearly everyone making enough to buy in McLean or Bethesda is 35+ and probably 40+. By then you can barely even have kids. If you’re of actual child bearing age you’re probably too broke to comfortably raise a family. Every couple I’ve known who has a SFH in a good zip code and has kids before 30 in this area comes from a UHNW family and buys a house that is 10-20x their annual salary. How many folks under 35 are actually buying 2-3M houses completely on their own without generational wealth? It’s not zero but pretty damn close.

My semi blue collar friend live in Bethesda in a two million dollar home at 45 with three kids and a SAHM wife. His secret?

He bought a property with a tenant in place in 2009 when he was 28. He could use his income plus rental income to qualify for mortgage. Then he lived at home till around 34 when he married. They moved into small rent controled DC apt with wife, had a kid or two and then by time third kid came they took over the Bethesda house. By then mortgage free as tenant paid off most of mortgage and he prepaid a little each month and they bought at 2009 prices so a way less mortgage to begin with.

Hence he is a 45 year old blue collar worker in a nice house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get some perspective. There are other nice places to live besides McLean and Bethesda. And he's some people wait until they are more financially established before they have kids. You sound like a brat who thinks they need the best everything all at once.

This. You think the only “nice” places are McLean and Bethesda?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We bought the smallest, fixer-upper, house in our target area of Bethesda after *seriously* tightening our belts for 10 years and living in a one bedroom apartment with our two young children. To say we lived frugally is an understatement that the consumerist people of DCUM cannot even begin to fathom. That's how we were able to afford real estate in that region of MoCo. The reason we decided to move, instead of buying in a more affordable area further out with people in our income bracket, is that:
1. My spouse worked in Bethesda and was tired of commuting.
2. Our oldest had significant special needs, and we had heard the clusters in Bethesda were much better at caring for SN kids. Which turned out to be entirely true, from elementary to high school!

This was years ago, but our salaries were extremely low compared to the cost of our modest house. We could only buy because we had tightened our belts over such a long period of time that we had enough for a sizeable downpayment, which meant we could afford the mortgage on the rest.

Me again. Kids are young adults and teens. Our neighbors are great people, and interestingly, they're a mix of super-wealthy and not-so-rich, based on when they bought into the neighborhood. The ones who were already there when we arrived are entirely middle class. The ones who came after us are wealthy. We clearly earn less than any of our neighbors, but this has not been a barrier to neighborly relations. We still live more frugally than the average person on DCUM, I feel, even though our incomes have increased from "working class" to "lower middle". Our families live abroad, so our kids do "travel internationally" They never felt deprived, because they understand the reasons we chose to live here and they appreciate our neighborhood. We love our tiny house. We've been very happy here.

[Anonymous]

DCUMs are seriously delulu.

Yes, the DC market is expensive. Just because you can’t afford your top choice neighborhood in Bethesda or Great Falls doesn’t mean it is “extremely hard” to raise kids in a “nice” neighborhood.

DH and I were both raised LMC in the rural deep south and now are raising our kids in a very nice neighborhood of $1-2M homes.

We didn’t get a penny from family for a down payment. But fortunately they taught us a very valuable life lesson - life isn’t fair and there will always be people richer than you.

[Anonymous]

You can get a SFH in a nice neighborhood for 900k still. You still need money for that, but $2 million is not the price of admission for entry into a nice neighborhood.

You can also a) wait to have kids until 35; b) start in a "worse" neighborhood and move when your kids are school age or older; or c) don't move to a "nice neighborhood" and move to a "normal neighborhood." It's not like the normal neighborhoods are unsafe. They just aren't filled with custom homes maintained by rotating staff.