Parents divorcing after 50 years of marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents did not divorce, but they "divorced" in the sense that they were leaving on 2 separate continents for the last 6 years of my dad's life, and my mom would stay in a hotel instead of their house when she visited the continent where my dad was.

Where I come from, this is divorce. They just live in different houses and do their own thing.

That creates problems for Medicaid when you need to go to a nursing home.

How so?!

[Anonymous]

Yes, my parents did. It was terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

This.

Financially it's a disaster. They can't afford as much divorced as they could have together. Your dad will likely remarry and she'll get everything.

Inheritance is dumb anyway. We should tax inheritance at 90% and block gifts from people over 60 to pay for medicare.

We all pay for medicare in our pay checks as soon as we start working, THEN we have to pay a co-pay, premiums, deductables and its generally 80-20 so you have to pay a supplement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents did not divorce, but they "divorced" in the sense that they were leaving on 2 separate continents for the last 6 years of my dad's life, and my mom would stay in a hotel instead of their house when she visited the continent where my dad was.

Where I come from, this is divorce. They just live in different houses and do their own thing.

That creates problems for Medicaid when you need to go to a nursing home.

How so?!

Medicaid eligibility requires a spend down of assets and owning two homes (even as a couple) can be a problem for eligibility.

[Anonymous]

Just make it clear that you aren’t carrying a double burden because of their decision. Not visiting twice as many houses. If they visit they get half of what the both of them would. Your support is split in two or given to the “normal” parent if the other one is the villain or a the crazy one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents did not divorce, but they "divorced" in the sense that they were leaving on 2 separate continents for the last 6 years of my dad's life, and my mom would stay in a hotel instead of their house when she visited the continent where my dad was.

Where I come from, this is divorce. They just live in different houses and do their own thing.

That creates problems for Medicaid when you need to go to a nursing home.

How so?!

Medicaid eligibility requires a spend down of assets and owning two homes (even as a couple) can be a problem for eligibility.

Well some of it is abroad and not all countries report assets.
And also smart people create trusts or buy property in their kids’ names

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

This.

Financially it's a disaster. They can't afford as much divorced as they could have together. Your dad will likely remarry and she'll get everything.

On the plus side the new wife can also do all the eldercare.

So, a pillow over their face? Or maybe a helpful hand down the stairs?

It won’t be the kids or ex-spouses problem anymore so who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents did not divorce, but they "divorced" in the sense that they were leaving on 2 separate continents for the last 6 years of my dad's life, and my mom would stay in a hotel instead of their house when she visited the continent where my dad was.

Where I come from, this is divorce. They just live in different houses and do their own thing.

That creates problems for Medicaid when you need to go to a nursing home.

How so?!

Medicaid eligibility requires a spend down of assets and owning two homes (even as a couple) can be a problem for eligibility.

Well some of it is abroad and not all countries report assets.
And also smart people create trusts or buy property in their kids’ names

Smart. You don't need long term care if you're in prison!

[Anonymous]

It’s none of your business. Let your parents be.

[Anonymous]

My parents are threatening it after 45 years. It is going to be a complete nightmare financially. We are encouraging them to just separate. But like wtf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents are threatening it after 45 years. It is going to be a complete nightmare financially. We are encouraging them to just separate. But like wtf.

I don't know why separating would be better. Assuming they're not filthy rich, they're likely to end up spending off their assets before reaching medicaid eligibility. That seems much cleaner if they're legally divorced.