Parents divorcing after 50 years of marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

Lots of parents are widowed and then this happens anyway. My mom died at 61. This is just the way it goes. You can help or not help as you see fit, but you aren’t entitled to dictate your parents marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

This.

Financially it's a disaster. They can't afford as much divorced as they could have together. Your dad will likely remarry and she'll get everything.

On the plus side the new wife can also do all the eldercare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

This.

Financially it's a disaster. They can't afford as much divorced as they could have together. Your dad will likely remarry and she'll get everything.

Inheritance is dumb anyway. We should tax inheritance at 90% and block gifts from people over 60 to pay for medicare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

This.

Financially it's a disaster. They can't afford as much divorced as they could have together. Your dad will likely remarry and she'll get everything.

On the plus side the new wife can also do all the eldercare.

So, a pillow over their face? Or maybe a helpful hand down the stairs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

Lots of parents are widowed and then this happens anyway. My mom died at 61. This is just the way it goes. You can help or not help as you see fit, but you aren’t entitled to dictate your parents marriage.

If your parents are widowed, it means you only have one parent to take care of, not two. I have a lot of sympathy for widows and widowers.

I also don't understand gray divorce. The hard parts of babies, raising kids, paying off a mortgage, and both working out of the house are gone. Can't they just have different hobbies and get different bedrooms? Make friends on their own and travel. All the gray divorces I know of are so that one party doesn't have to take care of the other, sicker party. And often the parents now want separate holidays, nope- that ship has sailed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

Grow the hell up. STILL thinking parents should stay together for “the kids.” It’s not all about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

This.

Financially it's a disaster. They can't afford as much divorced as they could have together. Your dad will likely remarry and she'll get everything.

Inheritance is dumb anyway. We should tax inheritance at 90% and block gifts from people over 60 to pay for medicare.

This would be a new, 2nd wife inheriting everything, not kids. Presumably wives would still inherit their spouse's money.

I don't think marriage should be allowed after a certain age. All around my parents' friends I see fortune hunters marrying older men as their retirement plan and it's crazy weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shocking how everyone just thinks of money!

Inheritance, to be more specific.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

This.

Financially it's a disaster. They can't afford as much divorced as they could have together. Your dad will likely remarry and she'll get everything.

Inheritance is dumb anyway. We should tax inheritance at 90% and block gifts from people over 60 to pay for medicare.

This would be a new, 2nd wife inheriting everything, not kids. Presumably wives would still inherit their spouse's money.

I don't think marriage should be allowed after a certain age. All around my parents' friends I see fortune hunters marrying older men as their retirement plan and it's crazy weird.

What is wrong with you? People can leave their money to whoever they want, even 2nd wives (no, I am not a 2nd wife.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

This.

Financially it's a disaster. They can't afford as much divorced as they could have together. Your dad will likely remarry and she'll get everything.

Inheritance is dumb anyway. We should tax inheritance at 90% and block gifts from people over 60 to pay for medicare.

This would be a new, 2nd wife inheriting everything, not kids. Presumably wives would still inherit their spouse's money.

I don't think marriage should be allowed after a certain age. All around my parents' friends I see fortune hunters marrying older men as their retirement plan and it's crazy weird.

It's basically paying for in-home long-term care. I don't see the problem. It would be very expensive to pay for that on an hourly basis.

I think it's strange that kids feel entitled to someone else's money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

Lots of parents are widowed and then this happens anyway. My mom died at 61. This is just the way it goes. You can help or not help as you see fit, but you aren’t entitled to dictate your parents marriage.

If your parents are widowed, it means you only have one parent to take care of, not two. I have a lot of sympathy for widows and widowers.

I also don't understand gray divorce. The hard parts of babies, raising kids, paying off a mortgage, and both working out of the house are gone. Can't they just have different hobbies and get different bedrooms? Make friends on their own and travel. All the gray divorces I know of are so that one party doesn't have to take care of the other, sicker party. And often the parents now want separate holidays, nope- that ship has sailed.

It’s easier to ignore the other person being a jerk if you are furiously spinning your wheels. Once you realize you don’t have that many good years left, you want to prioritize you, especially if you spent the rest of your life tending to other people’s needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

This.

Financially it's a disaster. They can't afford as much divorced as they could have together. Your dad will likely remarry and she'll get everything.

Inheritance is dumb anyway. We should tax inheritance at 90% and block gifts from people over 60 to pay for medicare.

This would be a new, 2nd wife inheriting everything, not kids. Presumably wives would still inherit their spouse's money.

I don't think marriage should be allowed after a certain age. All around my parents' friends I see fortune hunters marrying older men as their retirement plan and it's crazy weird.

It's basically paying for in-home long-term care. I don't see the problem. It would be very expensive to pay for that on an hourly basis.

I think it's strange that kids feel entitled to someone else's money.

It's their parents, not some neighbor they wave to occasionally. This is true the world over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

Lots of parents are widowed and then this happens anyway. My mom died at 61. This is just the way it goes. You can help or not help as you see fit, but you aren’t entitled to dictate your parents marriage.

If your parents are widowed, it means you only have one parent to take care of, not two. I have a lot of sympathy for widows and widowers.

I also don't understand gray divorce. The hard parts of babies, raising kids, paying off a mortgage, and both working out of the house are gone. Can't they just have different hobbies and get different bedrooms? Make friends on their own and travel. All the gray divorces I know of are so that one party doesn't have to take care of the other, sicker party. And often the parents now want separate holidays, nope- that ship has sailed.

You obviously don't live together with a jerk. Imagine someone who wakes you up in the morning, because they cannot sleep. Someone who constantly demands something from you -- cooking food, doing laundry. Starts fights if they don't get their way. Once kids are gone, who functioned as a buffer, the old jerks get worse and worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be so angry if my parents did this. It's ALL going to fall on you now as their kid. Even little appts like eye appts where they dilate your eyes will need someone to drive the parent. Parents should be helping each other through sicknesses in old age and not burdening their kids. And multiple holidays now...

My aunt and uncle did this and financially they really never recovered.

Grow the hell up. STILL thinking parents should stay together for “the kids.” It’s not all about you.

Girl. +1

[Anonymous]

My parents did it after 35 years and it was a disaster. My mom thought she was going to have some kind of new, exciting life without really thinking it through. She became really needy and eldercare with the both of them was a disaster. I had the perception of growing up in a happy home--things only went sour when there was one kid left in the nest. Dealing with them from divorce to death erased whatever happy memories I had and nearly shattered the good relationship we three siblings had. It was a selfish decision.