Feeling so defeated after deferral. This is a good year for ED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year- my kid rejected ED. Deferred ED2. Deferred at 2 of his top EA schools. Got into great schools in RD and ended up with 2 amazing final options- is thriving at one of those (ED2 deferral school). It’s a slog but stick with it!

My 2025 kid (my second of 3) never got the "amazing final options" last year and I know a number of other kids like this. It was a slog to the end, a couple of less-than-ideal choices and they're now probably going to transfer.

SO it can also NOT work out despite having all the top grades, rigor, scores, extracurriculars, etc.
Just keep this in mind. Not to be a downer but be prepared for anything. It's such a random process.

I'm the parent of the kid who ended up with good options. We literally had only "okay" (to him) options all the way until March 26. And we as parents were continuing to boost the options our kid had by reassuring them they would do well wherever they landed and had a bright future ahead. Because it was true! He would have been happy and thrive at lots of different schools even if they weren't his top choices. We were of course thrilled that 2 of his deferrals turned into acceptances so he had the opportunity to choose, but all along we were pushing that ANY of the schools he applied to would be great and he'd do well.

Disappointment is part of life, but it doesn't make or break your life that vast majority of the time. It's how you recover from the disappointment that is important. That is the message we pushed. Our kid was no stranger to disappointment, and we didn't push the "dream school" narrative. Life would go on no matter where he ended up.

And if the school your kid is at isn't a good fit, work on a transfer! Nothing wrong with that either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is really sad. Nobody taking the high road. Everybody saying that the process was unfair and favored a bunch of cheaters or the other agenda. You’re all pathetic.

What's unfair is your response to other posters. Gratuitous cheating is real in many schools right now. If you don't have cheating at your DC's school, or your DC is not affected by it, you are lucky. If you do, and it helps you to just ignore it, that's fine too. No one here claimed that all kids are cheaters and the whole process is unfair. Parts of it are, though, and people are allowed to feel bad when their kids are undermined. Denying reality and judging others who are dealing with it is hardly taking the high road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is really sad. Nobody taking the high road. Everybody saying that the process was unfair and favored a bunch of cheaters or the other agenda. You’re all pathetic.

What's unfair is your response to other posters. Gratuitous cheating is real in many schools right now. If you don't have cheating at your DC's school, or your DC is not affected by it, you are lucky. If you do, and it helps you to just ignore it, that's fine too. No one here claimed that all kids are cheaters and the whole process is unfair. Parts of it are, though, and people are allowed to feel bad when their kids are undermined. Denying reality and judging others who are dealing with it is hardly taking the high road.

Oh, please. Your response to your kid's deferral by calling others cheaters is on the level of a fourth grader.

[Anonymous]

We are anticipating a deferral/rejection this week because DC EDed to a far reach. But DC is still thrilled for friends getting into their EDs.

There have been more ED acceptances than I was expecting. It must be 20%+ of the class based on the ones I know about so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is really sad. Nobody taking the high road. Everybody saying that the process was unfair and favored a bunch of cheaters or the other agenda. You’re all pathetic.

What's unfair is your response to other posters. Gratuitous cheating is real in many schools right now. If you don't have cheating at your DC's school, or your DC is not affected by it, you are lucky. If you do, and it helps you to just ignore it, that's fine too. No one here claimed that all kids are cheaters and the whole process is unfair. Parts of it are, though, and people are allowed to feel bad when their kids are undermined. Denying reality and judging others who are dealing with it is hardly taking the high road.

Oh, please. Your response to your kid's deferral by calling others cheaters is on the level of a fourth grader.

Ignore this troll, PP. They are clearly just trying to spin you up.

It sucks when cheaters “win”. Look at how shtty we all feel with the biggest fattest cheater in the White House right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is really sad. Nobody taking the high road. Everybody saying that the process was unfair and favored a bunch of cheaters or the other agenda. You’re all pathetic.

What's unfair is your response to other posters. Gratuitous cheating is real in many schools right now. If you don't have cheating at your DC's school, or your DC is not affected by it, you are lucky. If you do, and it helps you to just ignore it, that's fine too. No one here claimed that all kids are cheaters and the whole process is unfair. Parts of it are, though, and people are allowed to feel bad when their kids are undermined. Denying reality and judging others who are dealing with it is hardly taking the high road.

Oh, please. Your response to your kid's deferral by calling others cheaters is on the level of a fourth grader.

Not my kid or my post. I've seen it at DC's school, though. It's well-known who the cheaters are, and I feel terrible for the kids who lost out. Do you even have a kid in this process?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is really sad. Nobody taking the high road. Everybody saying that the process was unfair and favored a bunch of cheaters or the other agenda. You’re all pathetic.

Agreed that it’s overkill to write off the entire process as being cheaters. There are just many more kids with the stats than spots at some of these colleges. My kid was rejected ED in 2024 at a very popular school that just released ED this year. It was tough. She had the stats to get a look but it wasn’t enough. And yes, some kids who got in were probably rich, legacy, whatever without the stats. But we recognize that there are so many that are just that much more amazing than my kid! This year that school admitted a regular awesome kid that we know. No hooks, etc. They are not all cheaters.

Literally no one said that.

[Anonymous]

How is there so much cheating going on? What sort of cheating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is really sad. Nobody taking the high road. Everybody saying that the process was unfair and favored a bunch of cheaters or the other agenda. You’re all pathetic.

What's unfair is your response to other posters. Gratuitous cheating is real in many schools right now. If you don't have cheating at your DC's school, or your DC is not affected by it, you are lucky. If you do, and it helps you to just ignore it, that's fine too. No one here claimed that all kids are cheaters and the whole process is unfair. Parts of it are, though, and people are allowed to feel bad when their kids are undermined. Denying reality and judging others who are dealing with it is hardly taking the high road.

+1

I'm one of those PPs. I've never complained that the process is unfair.

I just called out the outcome of a known cheater at our (non DC-area) school.

That's a real-life example of one, not an indictment of the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is there so much cheating going on? What sort of cheating?

Not sure what others are talking about but IME my DD who graduated from high school a few years ago had several kids with her who routinely cheated on tests/quizzes/exams etc. Sometimes they got caught. Most of the time they didn’t. They all got into good colleges and one in an Ivy. The Ivy kid also lied about her EC’s and race etc on the college app. After she got into an Ivy she almost failed a class because she was caught cheating by the teacher. So there you have it. Cheaters win sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is really sad. Nobody taking the high road. Everybody saying that the process was unfair and favored a bunch of cheaters or the other agenda. You’re all pathetic.

What's unfair is your response to other posters. Gratuitous cheating is real in many schools right now. If you don't have cheating at your DC's school, or your DC is not affected by it, you are lucky. If you do, and it helps you to just ignore it, that's fine too. No one here claimed that all kids are cheaters and the whole process is unfair. Parts of it are, though, and people are allowed to feel bad when their kids are undermined. Denying reality and judging others who are dealing with it is hardly taking the high road.

+1

I'm one of those PPs. I've never complained that the process is unfair.

I just called out the outcome of a known cheater at our (non DC-area) school.

That's a real-life example of one, not an indictment of the process.

How is it that we know for certain our own child hasn’t “cheated.” One can’t know that. Best we all lay off this topic.

[Anonymous]

I think for some schools the ED game is really not helpful. Our counselor cautions families that for many of these schools the only reason the ED rate is higher is the athletes, legacies, first gen but for others the admit rate is really the same as RD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last year- my kid rejected ED. Deferred ED2. Deferred at 2 of his top EA schools. Got into great schools in RD and ended up with 2 amazing final options- is thriving at one of those (ED2 deferral school). It’s a slog but stick with it!

My kid was deferred from two schools this week and we are questioning the kid's everything now (choice of major, essays, etc.). Did your child revamp their approach at all between the deferrals and RD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is really sad. Nobody taking the high road. Everybody saying that the process was unfair and favored a bunch of cheaters or the other agenda. You’re all pathetic.

What's unfair is your response to other posters. Gratuitous cheating is real in many schools right now. If you don't have cheating at your DC's school, or your DC is not affected by it, you are lucky. If you do, and it helps you to just ignore it, that's fine too. No one here claimed that all kids are cheaters and the whole process is unfair. Parts of it are, though, and people are allowed to feel bad when their kids are undermined. Denying reality and judging others who are dealing with it is hardly taking the high road.

+1

I'm one of those PPs. I've never complained that the process is unfair.

I just called out the outcome of a known cheater at our (non DC-area) school.

That's a real-life example of one, not an indictment of the process.

How is it that we know for certain our own child hasn’t “cheated.” One can’t know that. Best we all lay off this topic.

You sound weirdly defensive about this. Why is that? Do you know your kid cheats? Are you a cheater?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is really sad. Nobody taking the high road. Everybody saying that the process was unfair and favored a bunch of cheaters or the other agenda. You’re all pathetic.

What's unfair is your response to other posters. Gratuitous cheating is real in many schools right now. If you don't have cheating at your DC's school, or your DC is not affected by it, you are lucky. If you do, and it helps you to just ignore it, that's fine too. No one here claimed that all kids are cheaters and the whole process is unfair. Parts of it are, though, and people are allowed to feel bad when their kids are undermined. Denying reality and judging others who are dealing with it is hardly taking the high road.

+1

I'm one of those PPs. I've never complained that the process is unfair.

I just called out the outcome of a known cheater at our (non DC-area) school.

That's a real-life example of one, not an indictment of the process.

How is it that we know for certain our own child hasn’t “cheated.” One can’t know that. Best we all lay off this topic.

You sound weirdly defensive about this. Why is that? Do you know your kid cheats? Are you a cheater?

+1. Other poster is oddly defensive.