GF tracking location of daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CONTROLLING!!!

Nope! SMART!!!!!!!!

She is 26! That is nuts.

Nope, try again. Also it’s none of your business

You might say it's none of OPs business - but frankly it is. The behavior and obsessive nature of the actions would be a deal breaker for me, and tbh if I were OP, I would tell the daughter because it's sick behavior.

I don't have an opinion on sharing location with your family - but I wouldn't date someone who is checking multiple times a day/freaks out when they can't be located and goes so far as to google and stalk potential dating partners. The behavior is more than odd.

OP - not that you asked but I would end the relationship over this.

No, I didn’t ask and it is none of his business how she chooses to interact with her daughter. And if my SO insisted that it was, I’d break up with him. What makes you think the daughter doesn’t know or that she doesn’t want her mom to check on her?

It IS OPs business to check the behavior of HIS dating partner - if she's a obsessive psycho it doesn't just stop at one person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CONTROLLING!!!

Nope! SMART!!!!!!!!

She is 26! That is nuts.

Nope, try again. Also it’s none of your business

You might say it's none of OPs business - but frankly it is. The behavior and obsessive nature of the actions would be a deal breaker for me, and tbh if I were OP, I would tell the daughter because it's sick behavior.

I don't have an opinion on sharing location with your family - but I wouldn't date someone who is checking multiple times a day/freaks out when they can't be located and goes so far as to google and stalk potential dating partners. The behavior is more than odd.

OP - not that you asked but I would end the relationship over this.

No, I didn’t ask and it is none of his business how she chooses to interact with her daughter. And if my SO insisted that it was, I’d break up with him. What makes you think the daughter doesn’t know or that she doesn’t want her mom to check on her?

PP here and this was directed to OP. You seem awfully invested and sound like another controlling narcissist.

You think the daughter knows that she checks her location every hour and google stalks her dating partners? HA! I highly doubt it. Keep stalking your kids wierdo.

I am OP and the previous comment wasn't from me. I didn't ask or comment on any of it with her but sees the obsessiveness with her daughter's location and what she is doing. I know a lot of people do it for safety purposes but I haven't seen this level of involvement. Was concerning to me so I posted it here. I didn't want to discuss it with her since she likes to provide input in my kids' life but don't take it well so I just stay away and respect boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Op, this is a major red flag. Upto you, if you want to continue your relationship with her and if you do then serious boundaries are needed. If she doesn't respect boundaries then she could have narcissistic tendencies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it normal for my GF to track location of her 26 year old daughter who lives 4 hours away. She went to school in Pittsburgh and also has a job there. Normal kid who doesn't have any weird habits(as far as I know) but her mom(my gf) tracks her all the time and see what she is doing. I understand sometimes it is good to know where your kids are for safety purposes but this is a little too much. Also, would you allow your mom to track you if you are 26?

You know the answer to this.

I didn't even track my kids when they were teenagers. Because WTAF.

Not, not WHAF? Just because you choose not to use the technology available to you does not make the rest of us wrong for using whatever we have at our disposal. People like you are so cool, until something happens and then you're full of regrets that you didn't even make it an option.

Yes, it does. And you're doing your children zero favors in engaging in this stalking behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, this is a major red flag. Upto you, if you want to continue your relationship with her and if you do then serious boundaries are needed. If she doesn't respect boundaries then she could have narcissistic tendencies.

This.

I think everyone is conflating sharing location and the bizarre behavior of OPs gf. It's one thing for safety to share location amongst family / friends but the behavior that OPs gf is displaying goes well beyond that.

OP - I understand that you are respecting her boundaries and her dynamic with her daughter - but her behavior doesn't exist in a vacuum. You don't just switch off psycho behavior at certain people and things. Do you want YOUR children to be affected by this type of behavior later on down the line in a relationship? Do YOU want this for yourself? This isn't just a red flag - this is a whole stop sign in your face.

[Anonymous]

OP she’s going to ask you to share your location next.

Get ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, this is a major red flag. Upto you, if you want to continue your relationship with her and if you do then serious boundaries are needed. If she doesn't respect boundaries then she could have narcissistic tendencies.

This.

I think everyone is conflating sharing location and the bizarre behavior of OPs gf. It's one thing for safety to share location amongst family / friends but the behavior that OPs gf is displaying goes well beyond that.

OP - I understand that you are respecting her boundaries and her dynamic with her daughter - but her behavior doesn't exist in a vacuum. You don't just switch off psycho behavior at certain people and things. Do you want YOUR children to be affected by this type of behavior later on down the line in a relationship? Do YOU want this for yourself? This isn't just a red flag - this is a whole stop sign in your face.

+1000. This is to the point and also how control starts. Op could be next or who knows what kind of things she would try to control.

[Anonymous]

My dad tried to get me to share my location with him at the age of 33 or so, when I was married homeowner with my own child.

Based on my own family experience, I feel like it points to her being controlling, obsessive, or anxious (or all three!). I would examine your past experiences with her.

My refusal to turn on tracking on my phone led my father to put a device in my car. He’s crazy.

[Anonymous]

If her daughter is okay w/it I really do not see an issue.

It would bother me as I wasn’t close to my own Mother.

Perhaps her Mom is doing it for safety since as a young woman perhaps she lives alone.

What would be creepy is if the Mother is checking her daughter’s location on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

I think I can see my 23 year old who lives in a different city, but I haven’t checked since his freshman year of college. If your girlfriend is obsessed with where here adult daughter is all the time it’s a huge red flag. Either she is incredibly controlling or has unreasonable anxiety.

You mentioned that you don’t say anything to her because you don’t appreciate her comments about your own parenting. Honestly I’d find someone else.

[Anonymous]

We all share our locations, but it’s not to track whereabouts, it’s usually to see if it’s a good time to call or text. Occasionally one of my older (30s) kids will jokingly text me to ask why I’m somewhere unexpected but then they immediately will add “call me when you’re done”.

Twice last year, one of my younger (late teens) kids forgot to text us that he was home after taking the last MARC train to Penn Station in Baltimore and then walking to his apartment in Bolton Hill. We peeked at his location around 12:30 or 12:45 to make sure he made it home. That’s it. Twice in probably14 years of having adult children with smartphones.

[Anonymous]

OP, it’s really none of your business.

[Anonymous]

My oldest DD shares location with all her friends and her boyfriend. She doesn’t share with either of us parents but I would not find it weird if she did since she shares with so many others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it normal for my GF to track location of her 26 year old daughter who lives 4 hours away. She went to school in Pittsburgh and also has a job there. Normal kid who doesn't have any weird habits(as far as I know) but her mom(my gf) tracks her all the time and see what she is doing. I understand sometimes it is good to know where your kids are for safety purposes but this is a little too much. Also, would you allow your mom to track you if you are 26?

My whole extended family used a tracking app once when we went skiing to find each other on the slopes. 5 years later we are still tracking one another. Doubt any one checks, except when we visit / vacation to see when someone might be done with whatever activity they are doing. So, my dad tracks all of us and I am tracking my adult children . . .

This came in handy when my dad lost is phone and after attempting to problem solved other ways it dawned on me I was tracking it!

I do check it sometimes just because it is interesting to see everyone all spread out around the country.

[Anonymous]

This is crazy, OP. You need to be very careful on what you do with her but some people like this don't change.