AITA? Coworker meal train

[Anonymous]

I think a meal train is gross and I would not want to organize it. In my office we contributed to a gift card to a market, a local restaurant or Uber Eats. Just suggest something like this, collect the money, buy it, put it in a card and be done with it. You're just observing form and being polite. I always contributed to this stuff and said nothing about how I felt because it's just not that important. You end up standing out too much for your objections and open yourself up to gossip. You can secretly feel whatever you want about the weirdos you work with.

Or just say you don't have time to do this and get someone else to organize.

If your office doesn't typically do anything for life events, just say so and say that everyone can do their own thing for the person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is the oldest girl in the family? At work there was a similar situation with a co-worker and felt sorry for the oldest girl who was left cooking, cleaning and taking care of the youngest kids. So I dropped off food only because it was helping out the oldest girl who was around 13.

When I did I asked the dad if I could take the 13 year old to get some ice cream at the store so she could pick out the family favorite ice cream then quickly took her to her favorite take out place so she could eat a meal in peace in the car while I ran into the store and bought a couple of tubs of ice cream and ice cream cones.

I had a friend who was the oldest girl in a traditional large family and saw how she suffered. Granted she had some great times too but she had way way too much responsibility. Not surprising she only had one child.

Older children should NEVER be responsible for taking care of younger children or all of the cooking and cleaning. The mother of the children is responsible. This is slavery and creates resentment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the oldest girl in the family? At work there was a similar situation with a co-worker and felt sorry for the oldest girl who was left cooking, cleaning and taking care of the youngest kids. So I dropped off food only because it was helping out the oldest girl who was around 13.

When I did I asked the dad if I could take the 13 year old to get some ice cream at the store so she could pick out the family favorite ice cream then quickly took her to her favorite take out place so she could eat a meal in peace in the car while I ran into the store and bought a couple of tubs of ice cream and ice cream cones.

I had a friend who was the oldest girl in a traditional large family and saw how she suffered. Granted she had some great times too but she had way way too much responsibility. Not surprising she only had one child.

Older children should NEVER be responsible for taking care of younger children or all of the cooking and cleaning. The mother of the children is responsible. This is slavery and creates resentment.

... you mean PARENTS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate meal trains. People make gross food then don’t pick up their containers.

Who does a meal train and expects containers back?

[Anonymous]

My office tried to set up a meal train for a coworker on maternity leave. She sent a note asking for gift card to Whole Foods because this was the only grocery store where they shopped. She suggested an amount of $350.00.

To the best of my knowledge she only received a $5.00 gift card to Starbucks.

Stop having children if you need your family, friends, or work colleagues to help you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take the money with would spend on the meal train and donate it to the Center for Reproductive Rights!

If the office chipped to get a baby gift or a shower gift, I don’t get doing a meal train. Is it nice? Sure. But meal trains where people are just giving DoorDash cards are ridiculous.

I would so be tempted to make a generous donation their name to Planned Parenthood

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have they ever had one before? If this is the first one, I'd contribute a meal.

Reading is a fundamental skill. Try it sometime.

[Anonymous]

No. In the same way I did not participate in the car pool of kid's soccer teammate because Mom had her 8th (yes, you read that right) kid and was overwhelmed and Dad blahblahb can't remember the reasons. Nor did I do the meal train or congrats or anything. I just MYOBed and ignored.

[Anonymous]

Are they loudly vocal about their views and openly condemn others? If so I wouldn’t be friends with them anyway so wouldn’t participate in meal train.
If they are Catholic and pro life and otherwise nice people who treat others kindly and with respect I would totally help out.
Not everyone thinks the same way I do. For example I am very against factory farming. If I wasn’t friends with people who eat meat I would have a very short friends list.
I’m also against dog breeding. But I have friends who have bought dogs from breeders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the oldest girl in the family? At work there was a similar situation with a co-worker and felt sorry for the oldest girl who was left cooking, cleaning and taking care of the youngest kids. So I dropped off food only because it was helping out the oldest girl who was around 13.

When I did I asked the dad if I could take the 13 year old to get some ice cream at the store so she could pick out the family favorite ice cream then quickly took her to her favorite take out place so she could eat a meal in peace in the car while I ran into the store and bought a couple of tubs of ice cream and ice cream cones.

I had a friend who was the oldest girl in a traditional large family and saw how she suffered. Granted she had some great times too but she had way way too much responsibility. Not surprising she only had one child.

Older children should NEVER be responsible for taking care of younger children or all of the cooking and cleaning. The mother of the children is responsible. This is slavery and creates resentment.

Happens all the time. Every single person I know who was the oldest of 6+ has either no kids or one kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the oldest girl in the family? At work there was a similar situation with a co-worker and felt sorry for the oldest girl who was left cooking, cleaning and taking care of the youngest kids. So I dropped off food only because it was helping out the oldest girl who was around 13.

When I did I asked the dad if I could take the 13 year old to get some ice cream at the store so she could pick out the family favorite ice cream then quickly took her to her favorite take out place so she could eat a meal in peace in the car while I ran into the store and bought a couple of tubs of ice cream and ice cream cones.

I had a friend who was the oldest girl in a traditional large family and saw how she suffered. Granted she had some great times too but she had way way too much responsibility. Not surprising she only had one child.

Older children should NEVER be responsible for taking care of younger children or all of the cooking and cleaning. The mother of the children is responsible. This is slavery and creates resentment.

What? I babysat my little siblings all the time and my parents paid me most of the time. I was such a pro that by the time I had my kids I had zero anxiety about taking care of babies, toddlers, etc. My friends who didn't grow up taking care of younger siblings seemed much more thrown by motherhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are they loudly vocal about their views and openly condemn others? If so I wouldn’t be friends with them anyway so wouldn’t participate in meal train.
If they are Catholic and pro life and otherwise nice people who treat others kindly and with respect I would totally help out.
Not everyone thinks the same way I do. For example I am very against factory farming. If I wasn’t friends with people who eat meat I would have a very short friends list.
I’m also against dog breeding. But I have friends who have bought dogs from breeders.

It’s not prolife. It’s pro-forced birth. Tell it like it is!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they loudly vocal about their views and openly condemn others? If so I wouldn’t be friends with them anyway so wouldn’t participate in meal train.
If they are Catholic and pro life and otherwise nice people who treat others kindly and with respect I would totally help out.
Not everyone thinks the same way I do. For example I am very against factory farming. If I wasn’t friends with people who eat meat I would have a very short friends list.
I’m also against dog breeding. But I have friends who have bought dogs from breeders.

It’s not prolife. It’s pro-forced birth. Tell it like it is!

Who forced you to get pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they loudly vocal about their views and openly condemn others? If so I wouldn’t be friends with them anyway so wouldn’t participate in meal train.
If they are Catholic and pro life and otherwise nice people who treat others kindly and with respect I would totally help out.
Not everyone thinks the same way I do. For example I am very against factory farming. If I wasn’t friends with people who eat meat I would have a very short friends list.
I’m also against dog breeding. But I have friends who have bought dogs from breeders.

It’s not prolife. It’s pro-forced birth. Tell it like it is!

Giving birth is life. Duh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they loudly vocal about their views and openly condemn others? If so I wouldn’t be friends with them anyway so wouldn’t participate in meal train.
If they are Catholic and pro life and otherwise nice people who treat others kindly and with respect I would totally help out.
Not everyone thinks the same way I do. For example I am very against factory farming. If I wasn’t friends with people who eat meat I would have a very short friends list.
I’m also against dog breeding. But I have friends who have bought dogs from breeders.

It’s not prolife. It’s pro-forced birth. Tell it like it is!

Did you just learn that humans don’t hatch from eggs? Is this new to you?