Was I out of line at the grocery store with a shrieking toddler?

[Anonymous]

Her being encouraging was your perspective. It may not have been what was going on. Some kids if you can get them laughing and they’ll stop crying. Plus this woman had to endure the same thing and I can guarantee that it was more stressful, knowing that her kid was bothering everyone than anyone that had to listen to it.


I think you’re a complete creep for talking to someone’s kid without checking in with them first. Just because you think you know what’s going on doesn’t mean you have the right to do that.

Also, you made the kid cry. You are stranger danger of course they were quiet and then fell apart.

Don’t parent other people‘s children. Even if you think you know what’s better or best.

[Anonymous]

I LOVE it when adults address my children when they're being bad. It happens so rarely that it shocks my kids. Kids misbehave a lot in public and they think other adults are oblivious to it because other adults ignore it. Other adults aren't oblivious, they're just ignoring their own feelings and not addressing the bad kid.

And my kids aren't being super bad, just doing things like climbing up slides or climbing on the outside of slides where they shouldn't.

OP next time you should have addressed the adult too and said that the screaming was hurting other people's ears and causing headaches- it's not appropriate for indoors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday late afternoon I went to the grocery store and almost immediately heard a child letting out loud, ear-piercing shrieks, the kind that reverberate through the aisles and make people wince. Every time it happened, I noticed other shoppers grimacing or exchanging uncomfortable looks.

This went on throughout my trip. Eventually, I ended up in the same aisle as the child, a little girl, maybe 2 or 2.5 years old, and her mom. What surprised me most was that the mom was laughing and clearly encouraging the shrieking, not trying to redirect or stop it. I was frustrated, not just by the noise, but by what felt like a complete disregard for others in the store. I walked up to their cart, looked at the child, covered my ears, and said “Ouch! Your shouting is really hurting my ears!” The little girl immediately burst into tears. The mom called me an expletive and told me I was rude. For the record, the shrieking stopped after that.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I didn’t yell or scold, I tried to speak calmly but honestly. Still, I’m wondering, was I out of line? Should I have just ignored it? How do others handle this kind of situation?

They realize that people are human and have tough moments. They don’t interject themselves.

I will not validate you

[Anonymous]

My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

You must be very proud of yourself for making a toddler cry.

It's a grocery store not a fancy restaurant. If your ears are so delicate get delivery.

[Anonymous]

Just to be clear, you think the shrieking was hurting the ears of everyone in the grocery store, including all the way across the store, but you think the mom who was standing right next to her child was unbothered?

[Anonymous]

One of the kindest things that happened to me was a day that I was wearing my daughter at the grocery store. She was in a back carrier, maybe a year and a half old and not consolable. Her dad had been overseas for two weeks and I needed to get groceries. An older woman looked at me and said, honey you’re doing great. We’ve all been there.

That’s how you handle it

[Anonymous]

I probably would have ignored it but I don’t think it’s that big of deal. Lessons learned for that mom. No one loves loud shrieks. Most of the time they can’t be avoided but they should not be encouraged.

Don’t overthink it. Move on.

[Anonymous]

It takes a village, but really we just want your tax money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to be clear, you think the shrieking was hurting the ears of everyone in the grocery store, including all the way across the store, but you think the mom who was standing right next to her child was unbothered?

OP indicates that she was unbothered and was encouraging it.

I find those sounds easy to ignore so it unlikely that everyone was highly bothered. But the mom should not encourage it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

Not everyone can afford Instacart

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the kindest things that happened to me was a day that I was wearing my daughter at the grocery store. She was in a back carrier, maybe a year and a half old and not consolable. Her dad had been overseas for two weeks and I needed to get groceries. An older woman looked at me and said, honey you’re doing great. We’ve all been there.

That’s how you handle it

An inconsolable baby isn’t the same thing as a shrieking toddler and you know it. That mother was not “doing great” and you know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

I reply too soon. One of the ways that kids learn how to behave in public when they have challenges is to be in public. They have as much a right to be out in the world as you do. We’re not hiding autistic children at home for your comfort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound crazy OP to yell at a toddler.

She didn't yell. And what she said is perfectly acceptable.

i

Plus 1