Parents who volunteer for everything

[Anonymous]

The only parents that annoy me are the ones who take every field trip slot. In my eldests grade it's one married couple. In 6 years I've never gotten to go on a field trip but this same couple is always there.
For every other volunteer slot, there is generally no competition and we're just there to get the job done.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you OP. I have two friends who volunteer for everything their kids do. They do it because they know it gets their kids things that the other kids don't get. But these moms in general have no lives of their own. I feel bad for the kids, actually, because they have nothing for themselves. They also think that they earned these special extras because of their talent/hard work, they will end up being very disappointed later in life when they realize they have to so the work or that they weren't as talented as they thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a frequent volunteer here is my 2 cent. OP, you should not feel bad for the parents who volunteer at all. I am sure they do it because it makes them feel good. I love to volunteer for everything because I get to spend time with my kids. I feel I am able to help the entire class and the teachers and also elevate the experience for my own child.

For example - if we are on a field trip to the museum, I am able to read up on the exhibits and teach/instruct my kids on that subject, much before we visit the museum. We watch documentaries about the subject, we look at images on the net etc. So, when I go with my kid to the museum, they have the background knowledge to look at the artifacts and make the connection. I am not a fan of how field trips are conducted in our schools. At school, these kids are not taught about what they are going to see and experience at these field-trips. They do not connect it to the curriculum or even general knowledge topics. I hardly ever see for the students for the field-trip.

On the other hand, the teachers remain the glorified babysitters for the students. They have their hands full with dealing with kids who are unwell (parents have dosed them with tylenol and send them for the field trip), SN kids who have behavioral problems and are having full on meltdowns, kids who have not been dressed appropriately for the weather by their parents and are shivering in the cold, and kids who did not bring their lunch or snacks.

As a parent, I am responsible for my assigned group of 2-3 kids. I make a small group chat with their parents to introduce myself and find out about allergies etc. The day of the fieldtrip I take pictures of the kids before the start of the trip and send it to the group chat, so that I have picture of what the kid looks like and what they are wearing. Throughout the trip, I take pics and send it on the group chat to the parents. I carry wipes, kleenex, hand sanitizer, rain ponchos, extra snacks, small bottles of water etc.

But, most of all, I love to see the happiness on my kid's face to know that I am around and they know it that I am there because I love them. I don't need for other people's children to love me at all - they are my responsibility for the duration of the trip. My kindness and care is to make the kids comfortable and compliant, so that I am able to discharge my duty as a chaperone in the most incident-free and safe way that I can.

There are more than SN kids who have behavioral problems!

[Anonymous]

My husband and I work full time and we volunteer a lot. It’s not about us at all. It’s for the kids, the schools, the community.

Op, I feel like you have a specific axe to grind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anybody else feel bad for the parents who feel the need to volunteer for everything their kid does-helps on the field for every football game, chaperones every field trip, flies to every school trip?
And they act like they know all the kids and the “kids just love” them.

It’s almost like they are reliving their youth

No, you sound jealous. Sorry you don't have the emotional energy, free time, or bandwidth to give back to your community.

I'm sorry, but most people who volunteer don't have a ton of bandwidth or free time. We just prioritize it.

My mother always says that the busiest people are the first ones to volunteer.

[Anonymous]

Ah yes, I do it so I can show off that I know all the kids. I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom.

OP--you have the weirdest take I've seen yet. Points for creativity.

[Anonymous]

You have some growing up to do, OP. Why be gratuitously nasty?

I'm a low-energy introvert, and occupying a board position for years on the elementary school's PTA was the most I could do.

But other people are different, and have lots of energy and want to help out a lot. That's great!

There just needs to be rules in place because there's always the risk of embezzlement or child abuse. Parents need to keep an eye out. My kids are adults and teens now, and I've seen my share of situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. I have two friends who volunteer for everything their kids do. They do it because they know it gets their kids things that the other kids don't get. But these moms in general have no lives of their own. I feel bad for the kids, actually, because they have nothing for themselves. They also think that they earned these special extras because of their talent/hard work, they will end up being very disappointed later in life when they realize they have to so the work or that they weren't as talented as they thought.

At our ES the PTA board members (I was not one) often got the worst teachers for their kids, but yeah, sure, people who volunteer a lot are just helicopter parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only parents that annoy me are the ones who take every field trip slot. In my eldests grade it's one married couple. In 6 years I've never gotten to go on a field trip but this same couple is always there.
For every other volunteer slot, there is generally no competition and we're just there to get the job done.

Our elementary school allowed all parents who wanted to chaperone field trips to do so, but they only provided free admission and transportation for a limited number of chaperones. The rest had to pay for their admission provide their own transportation. They tried not to give free admission and transportation to the same parents every time. That seems like the fairest way to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At our school, the seniors got service awards if the parents were big volunteers. So it paid off.

That’s a pretty cynical view. The children of people who put in a lot of volunteer hours likely volunteer quite a bit themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only parents that annoy me are the ones who take every field trip slot. In my eldests grade it's one married couple. In 6 years I've never gotten to go on a field trip but this same couple is always there.
For every other volunteer slot, there is generally no competition and we're just there to get the job done.

Do the teachers not rotate among volunteers? At both ES-es my kids have been at the teachers would never allow this to happen. Same with class parties in the primary grades (by 4th they're always begging for parents).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. I have two friends who volunteer for everything their kids do. They do it because they know it gets their kids things that the other kids don't get. But these moms in general have no lives of their own. I feel bad for the kids, actually, because they have nothing for themselves. They also think that they earned these special extras because of their talent/hard work, they will end up being very disappointed later in life when they realize they have to so the work or that they weren't as talented as they thought.

At our ES the PTA board members (I was not one) often got the worst teachers for their kids, but yeah, sure, people who volunteer a lot are just helicopter parents.

Do you think the same can be true for all activities kids are in? Or could I be talking about other activities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only parents that annoy me are the ones who take every field trip slot. In my eldests grade it's one married couple. In 6 years I've never gotten to go on a field trip but this same couple is always there.
For every other volunteer slot, there is generally no competition and we're just there to get the job done.

Do the teachers not rotate among volunteers? At both ES-es my kids have been at the teachers would never allow this to happen. Same with class parties in the primary grades (by 4th they're always begging for parents).

It's a Parochial school and these two are "connected" somehow. No begging for parents at this school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anybody else feel bad for the parents who feel the need to volunteer for everything their kid does-helps on the field for every football game, chaperones every field trip, flies to every school trip?
And they act like they know all the kids and the “kids just love” them.

It’s almost like they are reliving their youth

No, you sound jealous. Sorry you don't have the emotional energy, free time, or bandwidth to give back to your community.

I'm sorry, but most people who volunteer don't have a ton of bandwidth or free time. We just prioritize it.

My mother always says that the busiest people are the first ones to volunteer.

I find this to be true at our school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only parents that annoy me are the ones who take every field trip slot. In my eldests grade it's one married couple. In 6 years I've never gotten to go on a field trip but this same couple is always there.
For every other volunteer slot, there is generally no competition and we're just there to get the job done.

You are lucky if there are lots of volunteers for field trips. We normally struggle to fill slots.