Disagreement over breast implants

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife wanted them, I was reluctant to insert myself into the decision as I both thought I'd enjoy them (and thus self-interested) and was concerned about the risks. Also in case she decided against I never wanted her to think her current body was displeasing.

She was adamant and it worked out well.

Yeah I think the DH can never good give a good answer beyond “whatever you want, dear.”

Your kids will tell everyone, just FYI. A neighbor got hers done (into a B cup) after having four kids and it was all we could talk about for months. And her kids made sure to mention it when meeting new people a decade later.

False! Keep kids outta' grown up - adult conversations and business and they won't.

So you're gonna lie to your kids about why you can't lift anything for months?

Sooooo what else do you share with your minor age kids?
Tell us how your kids BLAB all your family business and embarrass you to everyone on a regular.

You have problems. There's a massive gap between lying to your kids about the elective surgery you chose to have, and whatever it is you're alleging here. I wouldn't lie to my kids about having surgery. Maybe you would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're 48. Get a good bra. Not worth messing with your overall health for this.

I sort of wish I'd gotten mine done at 35, but now I'm 53 and let's just say the importance of looking cute naked has gone down for me.

But glad I don't have another thing in my life to be worried about health-wise. Also, not a great example for my daughter. (My mom got implants when I was a teenager, and it was weird and made me judge her and my own situation differently - which is probably why I didn't do it.)

This is often underlooked as a side effect of these surgeries. We spend so much time teaching our children (daughters especially) that their worth is not in their looks and their body. That they don't need to alter their body to appeal to other people. So what kind of message does it send when they see their parents doing all sorts of different surgeries to alter themselves to make them more attractive to other people? It's totally backwards.

Personally, I think a one off surgery to correct something you dislike is ok and can be rationalized, but I do think about this with people who are constantly going under the knife and tweaking themselves in an endless pursuit of some kind of perfection. I always think about this looking at pics of Ivanka with her constantly changing face and body. Poor Arabella looks a lot like her originally before the gazillion surgeries and has to be getting the message that's totally unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife wanted them, I was reluctant to insert myself into the decision as I both thought I'd enjoy them (and thus self-interested) and was concerned about the risks. Also in case she decided against I never wanted her to think her current body was displeasing.

She was adamant and it worked out well.

Yeah I think the DH can never good give a good answer beyond “whatever you want, dear.”

Your kids will tell everyone, just FYI. A neighbor got hers done (into a B cup) after having four kids and it was all we could talk about for months. And her kids made sure to mention it when meeting new people a decade later.

False! Keep kids outta' grown up - adult conversations and business and they won't.

So you're gonna lie to your kids about why you can't lift anything for months?

Sooooo what else do you share with your minor age kids?
Tell us how your kids BLAB all your family business and embarrass you to everyone on a regular.

You have problems. There's a massive gap between lying to your kids about the elective surgery you chose to have, and whatever it is you're alleging here. I wouldn't lie to my kids about having surgery. Maybe you would.

Bet you'd lie to those kid about remaining in that unhappy marriage though.

[Anonymous]

Plastic surgery should be treated like the obvious sign of mental disorders it obviously is. Nobody with a healthy relationship to their own meatsuit wants to cut it apart. While we may fall victim to the narrative of what's "beautiful" and realize that none of us will ever meet it, no normal person wants to risk scars, pain, further disfigurement, and possibly death just to look a little bit better. It's not normal. It has been normalized, or at least some people have tried to normalize it, but it's not normal.

Correcting dysfunction or true disfigurement is a perfectly legitimate use of plastic surgery. Inflating T&A is vanity, and many people suffer serious consequences for these procedures. In the time it takes a human body to recover from a surgical procedure, and for far less expense, the average human mind can be retrained to reject commercialize beauty standards and appreciate natural diversity.

If it ain't broke...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife wanted them, I was reluctant to insert myself into the decision as I both thought I'd enjoy them (and thus self-interested) and was concerned about the risks. Also in case she decided against I never wanted her to think her current body was displeasing.

She was adamant and it worked out well.

Yeah I think the DH can never good give a good answer beyond “whatever you want, dear.”

Your kids will tell everyone, just FYI. A neighbor got hers done (into a B cup) after having four kids and it was all we could talk about for months. And her kids made sure to mention it when meeting new people a decade later.

False! Keep kids outta' grown up - adult conversations and business and they won't.

So you're gonna lie to your kids about why you can't lift anything for months?

Sooooo what else do you share with your minor age kids?
Tell us how your kids BLAB all your family business and embarrass you to everyone on a regular.

You have problems. There's a massive gap between lying to your kids about the elective surgery you chose to have, and whatever it is you're alleging here. I wouldn't lie to my kids about having surgery. Maybe you would.

Bet you'd lie to those kid about remaining in that unhappy marriage though.

Bet you'd make up any derail to avoid facing the fact that you're flagrantly wrong, eh? What a clown!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're 48. Get a good bra. Not worth messing with your overall health for this.

I sort of wish I'd gotten mine done at 35, but now I'm 53 and let's just say the importance of looking cute naked has gone down for me.

But glad I don't have another thing in my life to be worried about health-wise. Also, not a great example for my daughter. (My mom got implants when I was a teenager, and it was weird and made me judge her and my own situation differently - which is probably why I didn't do it.)

This is often underlooked as a side effect of these surgeries. We spend so much time teaching our children (daughters especially) that their worth is not in their looks and their body. That they don't need to alter their body to appeal to other people. So what kind of message does it send when they see their parents doing all sorts of different surgeries to alter themselves to make them more attractive to other people? It's totally backwards.

Personally, I think a one off surgery to correct something you dislike is ok and can be rationalized, but I do think about this with people who are constantly going under the knife and tweaking themselves in an endless pursuit of some kind of perfection. I always think about this looking at pics of Ivanka with her constantly changing face and body. Poor Arabella looks a lot like her originally before the gazillion surgeries and has to be getting the message that's totally unacceptable.

Nah, it starts with the first one, but it very rarely ends there. And even if it is "just" the boobs at 40-45, it's the redo at 50-55, etc... There aren't a whole lot of truly "one and done" cosmetic procedures.

And pp's point about what it does to a daughter to watch her mother become someone else, while the kid is being told how beautiful she is as her natural self... that's chillingly accurate. We already have the first generation of kids raised by surgically-altered parents, and it's not great when you consider their self-esteem. More surgery isn't likely to improve their mental health!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're 48. Get a good bra. Not worth messing with your overall health for this.

I sort of wish I'd gotten mine done at 35, but now I'm 53 and let's just say the importance of looking cute naked has gone down for me.

But glad I don't have another thing in my life to be worried about health-wise. Also, not a great example for my daughter. (My mom got implants when I was a teenager, and it was weird and made me judge her and my own situation differently - which is probably why I didn't do it.)

This is often underlooked as a side effect of these surgeries. We spend so much time teaching our children (daughters especially) that their worth is not in their looks and their body. That they don't need to alter their body to appeal to other people. So what kind of message does it send when they see their parents doing all sorts of different surgeries to alter themselves to make them more attractive to other people? It's totally backwards.

Personally, I think a one off surgery to correct something you dislike is ok and can be rationalized, but I do think about this with people who are constantly going under the knife and tweaking themselves in an endless pursuit of some kind of perfection. I always think about this looking at pics of Ivanka with her constantly changing face and body. Poor Arabella looks a lot like her originally before the gazillion surgeries and has to be getting the message that's totally unacceptable.

I think about the baby kardashian/jenners. “Oh your baby has your nose!” “I f***ing hope not, I paid to fix that” gives such a bizarre sense of self. Your parent hates themselves so much they pay tens of thousands to change themselves - the very things you’ve passed along to your children! How f***ed are those kids going to be when they grow up looking nothing like their very-surgeried parents? So weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife wanted them, I was reluctant to insert myself into the decision as I both thought I'd enjoy them (and thus self-interested) and was concerned about the risks. Also in case she decided against I never wanted her to think her current body was displeasing.

She was adamant and it worked out well.

Yeah I think the DH can never good give a good answer beyond “whatever you want, dear.”

Your kids will tell everyone, just FYI. A neighbor got hers done (into a B cup) after having four kids and it was all we could talk about for months. And her kids made sure to mention it when meeting new people a decade later.

False! Keep kids outta' grown up - adult conversations and business and they won't.

So you're gonna lie to your kids about why you can't lift anything for months?

Sooooo what else do you share with your minor age kids?
Tell us how your kids BLAB all your family business and embarrass you to everyone on a regular.

You have problems. There's a massive gap between lying to your kids about the elective surgery you chose to have, and whatever it is you're alleging here. I wouldn't lie to my kids about having surgery. Maybe you would.

Bet you'd lie to those kid about remaining in that unhappy marriage though.

Unfortunately fake books don’t fix marriages soo…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 48, happily married with three kids. My boobs have been reduced to flat pancakes after breastfeeding our kids for a total of four years. The youngest is 7 so I think I’ve given my body enough of a chance to “bounce” back and the boobs are just not budging. I’m in great shape otherwise.

I would love to get conservative implants, just so my clothes fit the way they used to. I don’t even necessarily want a bigger bra size, I just want more fullness.

DH thinks this is crazy. He thinks anyone wanting plastic surgery is vain and almost mentally ill. It’s not a financial issue.

WWYD?

I'd go to a therapist. Truly. You're 48, and it sounds like you have a 48-year old's body. If you expect yourself to age backwards into your old clothes, or lifestyle, after surviving 5 decades on this planet and raising 3 kids, your expectations are skewed in a way that needs to be recalibrated.

The problem is in your brain, not your boobs.

[Anonymous]

My sister in law is in good shape but thin for her size, she went from small B to C and they leaked. She had them removed soon after.

There's always some risk but at least you're informed.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes the scarring is pretty bad. Depends on the procedure. I know a woman with scars that look like crucifixes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to Reddit and look at actual people of your age who have done this and get recommendations. This forum triggers a lot of incels and trolls whenever this question is asked.

NP. Are incel and troll just the standard terms now used for people who disagree with you? I’m pretty sure that the people who are against the surgery are not involuntarily celibate nor are they posting fact stories for engagement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to Reddit and look at actual people of your age who have done this and get recommendations. This forum triggers a lot of incels and trolls whenever this question is asked.

NP. Are incel and troll just the standard terms now used for people who disagree with you? I’m pretty sure that the people who are against the surgery are not involuntarily celibate nor are they posting fact stories for engagement.

Fake not fact.

[Anonymous]

Fake boobs are low class. In case you care about that.

[Anonymous]

Your body, your choice.