What is going on with so many destructive children??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been on dcum for 15+ years now. And I’ve been on this board for many of those years for adhd/anxiety and not for PDA or ODD or Autism. So forgive me if I’m ignorant.

But I feel like in the past couple of years there has been an exponential increase in parents reporting that their kids are destructive and/or violent at home and sometimes at school. I went through years of school and never saw this. My kids are late teens and went to two different elementary schools (due to a move) and middle/high schools and have never been in a class whose room had to be cleared.

Every day there’s a new post about a child being destructive. What is happening nowadays? Something has changed. Are these kids unable to cope because of WiFi signals constantly messing them up? Some sort of additive in our food supply? Autism and ODD certain existed before, and I know it was under diagnosed, I get that, but what is going on with the physical behaviors that are putting classes and homes at risk of being destroyed?

People on this board may trust each other more. THe judgy ones like OP are fewer?

Op here…I wasn’t judging parents, I was commenting on what I perceived as change. The only causes I referenced were WiFi and food additives.

But I can see what you all mean as it being hid. I guess my dh and I and my kids all got lucky that we didn’t have violent kids clearing classrooms. I do remember fights in the hallways in middle school, but never in the classrooms. I’m not trying to blame: just trying to figure out what is going on. It does feel like a lot more, but many of the pps gave valid reasons why it feels that way but hasn’t necessarily increased.

I would honestly think long and hard as to why you felt the need to post these idle thoughts here and ask parents who are struggling with some of the most difficult things a parent can face to help you understand this issue. Your OP did sound very judgmental.

I agree 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in self-contained ED classrooms starting in the early 1980s. It was extremely rare for a student then, in elementary school, in our program, to hit a teacher or even another student. It just hardly ever happened, and if it did, that child was quickly removed to a program with more mental health services. The parents were called in immediately and it was a big deal.

Now, teachers in those programs are issued mats with which to protect themselves and it’s considered part of the job to have bruises and bite marks from students.

There truly is a change from the past, and I think there are a lot of factors, but what I have seen is the lack of school spots where aggressive kids can be sent. There is also a factor of teacher blaming, where the teacher is told she is not providing engaging lessons or hasn’t developed a relationship with the student, which is a ,lad of crap. A child with a mental health issue is not going to be miraculously well-behaved because of the quality of lessons or because the teacher has been kind.

Oh my God YES!

In the early 80s kids could still just be thrown out of school - there was no IDEA or ADA

Read what I hilighted.

Teachers are not therapists, counselors, psychologists etc and should not be expected to fill those roles. There is no way on this earth that teachers shoud be issued mats to protect themselves at work. That approach is not helping anybody.

This is a forum for parents of special needs children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in self-contained ED classrooms starting in the early 1980s. It was extremely rare for a student then, in elementary school, in our program, to hit a teacher or even another student. It just hardly ever happened, and if it did, that child was quickly removed to a program with more mental health services. The parents were called in immediately and it was a big deal.

Now, teachers in those programs are issued mats with which to protect themselves and it’s considered part of the job to have bruises and bite marks from students.

There truly is a change from the past, and I think there are a lot of factors, but what I have seen is the lack of school spots where aggressive kids can be sent. There is also a factor of teacher blaming, where the teacher is told she is not providing engaging lessons or hasn’t developed a relationship with the student, which is a ,lad of crap. A child with a mental health issue is not going to be miraculously well-behaved because of the quality of lessons or because the teacher has been kind.

Oh my God YES!

In the early 80s kids could still just be thrown out of school - there was no IDEA or ADA

Read what I hilighted.

Teachers are not therapists, counselors, psychologists etc and should not be expected to fill those roles. There is no way on this earth that teachers shoud be issued mats to protect themselves at work. That approach is not helping anybody.

There should be a role for someone who’s cross-trained or have both in the same classroom. The most effective school I’ve seen had both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just take a look around next time you’re at a doctor office or store. Every single kid on a device, even babies. It’s terrible. We switched to a new ped office, and we had to wait almost an hour for the doctor, when he finally came in he said he expected to see the kids on devices and made a big show of complimenting all of us because the kids were reading real books or talking quietly instead. He said he never sees that anymore.

Oh my god, get over yourself. Kids on devices for a one hour wait at the doctor is not the reason some children have special needs.

DP here. I agree with you. I don't think devices cause disabilities. I have a child with autism and although she was not diagnosed until age 5 I have no doubt she has always been autistic since infancy and we did not do any screen time when she was a baby.

We do sometimes struggle with aggressive behavior at home and are working on that. But one thing that honestly helped so much was taking away her tablet. There really is something addictive about those devices, especially ones they can have anywhere anytime. We took it away after she scratched me hard for taking it away. Of course, we still struggle and it's not the only cause of aggression but I definitely think it plays a role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in self-contained ED classrooms starting in the early 1980s. It was extremely rare for a student then, in elementary school, in our program, to hit a teacher or even another student. It just hardly ever happened, and if it did, that child was quickly removed to a program with more mental health services. The parents were called in immediately and it was a big deal.

Now, teachers in those programs are issued mats with which to protect themselves and it’s considered part of the job to have bruises and bite marks from students.

There truly is a change from the past, and I think there are a lot of factors, but what I have seen is the lack of school spots where aggressive kids can be sent. There is also a factor of teacher blaming, where the teacher is told she is not providing engaging lessons or hasn’t developed a relationship with the student, which is a ,lad of crap. A child with a mental health issue is not going to be miraculously well-behaved because of the quality of lessons or because the teacher has been kind.

Oh my God YES!

In the early 80s kids could still just be thrown out of school - there was no IDEA or ADA

Read what I hilighted.

Teachers are not therapists, counselors, psychologists etc and should not be expected to fill those roles. There is no way on this earth that teachers shoud be issued mats to protect themselves at work. That approach is not helping anybody.

Mainstream teachers are not being “issued mats” regularly. Tf.

Those teachers and techs who need to learn techniques like that take those jobs in SN programs willingly.

[Anonymous]

This thread should be deleted. disgusting. You really do wonder about the social skills of people who come here to “just ask questions” about “those” kids. There are 20 other boards for you to post on.

[Anonymous]

I noticed a distinct difference in the behavior of the entire classroom when there were 20 kids in a class compared to where there were 30 kids- even when the class was well behaved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in self-contained ED classrooms starting in the early 1980s. It was extremely rare for a student then, in elementary school, in our program, to hit a teacher or even another student. It just hardly ever happened, and if it did, that child was quickly removed to a program with more mental health services. The parents were called in immediately and it was a big deal.

Now, teachers in those programs are issued mats with which to protect themselves and it’s considered part of the job to have bruises and bite marks from students.

There truly is a change from the past, and I think there are a lot of factors, but what I have seen is the lack of school spots where aggressive kids can be sent. There is also a factor of teacher blaming, where the teacher is told she is not providing engaging lessons or hasn’t developed a relationship with the student, which is a ,lad of crap. A child with a mental health issue is not going to be miraculously well-behaved because of the quality of lessons or because the teacher has been kind.

Oh my God YES!

In the early 80s kids could still just be thrown out of school - there was no IDEA or ADA

Read what I hilighted.

Teachers are not therapists, counselors, psychologists etc and should not be expected to fill those roles. There is no way on this earth that teachers shoud be issued mats to protect themselves at work. That approach is not helping anybody.

This is a forum for parents of special needs children.

Yes it is. My post applies, since special needs parents that I know IRL are the ones who have voiced that opinion that the current system is NOT working. One mom has a SN student and a NT student. Neither is getting what they need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in self-contained ED classrooms starting in the early 1980s. It was extremely rare for a student then, in elementary school, in our program, to hit a teacher or even another student. It just hardly ever happened, and if it did, that child was quickly removed to a program with more mental health services. The parents were called in immediately and it was a big deal.

Now, teachers in those programs are issued mats with which to protect themselves and it’s considered part of the job to have bruises and bite marks from students.

There truly is a change from the past, and I think there are a lot of factors, but what I have seen is the lack of school spots where aggressive kids can be sent. There is also a factor of teacher blaming, where the teacher is told she is not providing engaging lessons or hasn’t developed a relationship with the student, which is a ,lad of crap. A child with a mental health issue is not going to be miraculously well-behaved because of the quality of lessons or because the teacher has been kind.

Oh my God YES!

In the early 80s kids could still just be thrown out of school - there was no IDEA or ADA

Read what I hilighted.

Teachers are not therapists, counselors, psychologists etc and should not be expected to fill those roles. There is no way on this earth that teachers shoud be issued mats to protect themselves at work. That approach is not helping anybody.

This is a forum for parents of special needs children.

Yes it is. My post applies, since special needs parents that I know IRL are the ones who have voiced that opinion that the current system is NOT working. One mom has a SN student and a NT student. Neither is getting what they need.

I think many of the posters on here are not SN parents. This post is really unhelpful and just invites a pile-on of people braying to exclude and ostracize kids when, as others have pointed out, having a kid who acts out is extremely distressing and isolating already.

I would welcome a helpful post about lack of resources for kids who externalize, what has worked for educational settings, what has changed in classroom management. but a post focusing on how hard teachers have it has no place on this board.

meanwhile those of us who actually go through this know all too well how hard it is to find any resources for our kids or any setting that would work. Or even get the school to actually do the bare minimum to implement the BIPs we fought hard for.

[Anonymous]

Behaviors in non-special needs populations have worsened. It’s not surprising that behaviors in special needs populations have also worsened.

[Anonymous]

I have a DS 10 that is aggressive and sometimes violent only at home. Sometimes I think if I parented him the way my parents were with my siblings and me, that he’d have no issues at home. Instead, I have screen time limits that make him angry. He can’t roam the neighborhood free and eat whatever he wants whenever. He has to live with a couple of high energy extroverts. The house is not quiet. It’s the opposite of how I grew up and there’s just not as much space for him to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in self-contained ED classrooms starting in the early 1980s. It was extremely rare for a student then, in elementary school, in our program, to hit a teacher or even another student. It just hardly ever happened, and if it did, that child was quickly removed to a program with more mental health services. The parents were called in immediately and it was a big deal.

Now, teachers in those programs are issued mats with which to protect themselves and it’s considered part of the job to have bruises and bite marks from students.

There truly is a change from the past, and I think there are a lot of factors, but what I have seen is the lack of school spots where aggressive kids can be sent. There is also a factor of teacher blaming, where the teacher is told she is not providing engaging lessons or hasn’t developed a relationship with the student, which is a ,lad of crap. A child with a mental health issue is not going to be miraculously well-behaved because of the quality of lessons or because the teacher has been kind.

Oh my God YES!

In the early 80s kids could still just be thrown out of school - there was no IDEA or ADA

This isn't true. Disability rights laws have existed since the 70s. The IDEA was renamed in the early 90s but it was around earlier. The ADA was new, but Section 504 with similar rights was passed in 73.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in self-contained ED classrooms starting in the early 1980s. It was extremely rare for a student then, in elementary school, in our program, to hit a teacher or even another student. It just hardly ever happened, and if it did, that child was quickly removed to a program with more mental health services. The parents were called in immediately and it was a big deal.

Now, teachers in those programs are issued mats with which to protect themselves and it’s considered part of the job to have bruises and bite marks from students.

There truly is a change from the past, and I think there are a lot of factors, but what I have seen is the lack of school spots where aggressive kids can be sent. There is also a factor of teacher blaming, where the teacher is told she is not providing engaging lessons or hasn’t developed a relationship with the student, which is a ,lad of crap. A child with a mental health issue is not going to be miraculously well-behaved because of the quality of lessons or because the teacher has been kind.

Oh my God YES!

In the early 80s kids could still just be thrown out of school - there was no IDEA or ADA

Read what I hilighted.

Teachers are not therapists, counselors, psychologists etc and should not be expected to fill those roles. There is no way on this earth that teachers shoud be issued mats to protect themselves at work. That approach is not helping anybody.

This is a forum for parents of special needs children.

Yes it is. My post applies, since special needs parents that I know IRL are the ones who have voiced that opinion that the current system is NOT working. One mom has a SN student and a NT student. Neither is getting what they need.

I think many of the posters on here are not SN parents. This post is really unhelpful and just invites a pile-on of people braying to exclude and ostracize kids when, as others have pointed out, having a kid who acts out is extremely distressing and isolating already.

I would welcome a helpful post about lack of resources for kids who externalize, what has worked for educational settings, what has changed in classroom management. but a post focusing on how hard teachers have it has no place on this board.

meanwhile those of us who actually go through this know all too well how hard it is to find any resources for our kids or any setting that would work. Or even get the school to actually do the bare minimum to implement the BIPs we fought hard for.

Behavioral needs in students with disabilities have always existed, but perhaps are more visible now. There has been more of a push to inclusion, which is a good thing. However, schools too often just dump high needs students into gen ed settings without appropriate supports, and without training the teachers. Inclusion can be done and it can be done well, but in reality that's too often not the case. Then schools resist when parents try to get the supports in place their kids need.