What is going on with so many destructive children??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As others have said you just weren’t hearing about it pp. people are able to be more open now. I was working as a therapist in schools and with families in their home 15 years ago and there were plenty of kids struggling with the behaviors you describe in both places. As you can imagine the parents feel a lot of shame (you can see the judgement here). These families lives are so so hard and they are often doing everything they can

It’s not just that. There is also also sharply more cancer in young people now. I am convinced it is related to the more extreme behavior in children.

Something environmental has changed in a big way and we are seeing impacts everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been on dcum for 15+ years now. And I’ve been on this board for many of those years for adhd/anxiety and not for PDA or ODD or Autism. So forgive me if I’m ignorant.

But I feel like in the past couple of years there has been an exponential increase in parents reporting that their kids are destructive and/or violent at home and sometimes at school. I went through years of school and never saw this. My kids are late teens and went to two different elementary schools (due to a move) and middle/high schools and have never been in a class whose room had to be cleared.

Every day there’s a new post about a child being destructive. What is happening nowadays? Something has changed. Are these kids unable to cope because of WiFi signals constantly messing them up? Some sort of additive in our food supply? Autism and ODD certain existed before, and I know it was under diagnosed, I get that, but what is going on with the physical behaviors that are putting classes and homes at risk of being destroyed?

People on this board may trust each other more. THe judgy ones like OP are fewer?

Op here…I wasn’t judging parents, I was commenting on what I perceived as change. The only causes I referenced were WiFi and food additives.

But I can see what you all mean as it being hid. I guess my dh and I and my kids all got lucky that we didn’t have violent kids clearing classrooms. I do remember fights in the hallways in middle school, but never in the classrooms. I’m not trying to blame: just trying to figure out what is going on. It does feel like a lot more, but many of the pps gave valid reasons why it feels that way but hasn’t necessarily increased.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been on dcum for 15+ years now. And I’ve been on this board for many of those years for adhd/anxiety and not for PDA or ODD or Autism. So forgive me if I’m ignorant.

But I feel like in the past couple of years there has been an exponential increase in parents reporting that their kids are destructive and/or violent at home and sometimes at school. I went through years of school and never saw this. My kids are late teens and went to two different elementary schools (due to a move) and middle/high schools and have never been in a class whose room had to be cleared.

Every day there’s a new post about a child being destructive. What is happening nowadays? Something has changed. Are these kids unable to cope because of WiFi signals constantly messing them up? Some sort of additive in our food supply? Autism and ODD certain existed before, and I know it was under diagnosed, I get that, but what is going on with the physical behaviors that are putting classes and homes at risk of being destroyed?

People on this board may trust each other more. THe judgy ones like OP are fewer?

Op here…I wasn’t judging parents, I was commenting on what I perceived as change. The only causes I referenced were WiFi and food additives.

But I can see what you all mean as it being hid. I guess my dh and I and my kids all got lucky that we didn’t have violent kids clearing classrooms. I do remember fights in the hallways in middle school, but never in the classrooms. I’m not trying to blame: just trying to figure out what is going on. It does feel like a lot more, but many of the pps gave valid reasons why it feels that way but hasn’t necessarily increased.

I would honestly think long and hard as to why you felt the need to post these idle thoughts here and ask parents who are struggling with some of the most difficult things a parent can face to help you understand this issue. Your OP did sound very judgmental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been on dcum for 15+ years now. And I’ve been on this board for many of those years for adhd/anxiety and not for PDA or ODD or Autism. So forgive me if I’m ignorant.

But I feel like in the past couple of years there has been an exponential increase in parents reporting that their kids are destructive and/or violent at home and sometimes at school. I went through years of school and never saw this. My kids are late teens and went to two different elementary schools (due to a move) and middle/high schools and have never been in a class whose room had to be cleared.

Every day there’s a new post about a child being destructive. What is happening nowadays? Something has changed. Are these kids unable to cope because of WiFi signals constantly messing them up? Some sort of additive in our food supply? Autism and ODD certain existed before, and I know it was under diagnosed, I get that, but what is going on with the physical behaviors that are putting classes and homes at risk of being destroyed?

People on this board may trust each other more. THe judgy ones like OP are fewer?

Op here…I wasn’t judging parents, I was commenting on what I perceived as change. The only causes I referenced were WiFi and food additives.

But I can see what you all mean as it being hid. I guess my dh and I and my kids all got lucky that we didn’t have violent kids clearing classrooms. I do remember fights in the hallways in middle school, but never in the classrooms. I’m not trying to blame: just trying to figure out what is going on. It does feel like a lot more, but many of the pps gave valid reasons why it feels that way but hasn’t necessarily increased.

Thank you for clarifying, that is helpful.

As a parent, when I meet other parents of SN kids I so want to ask them, "is your kid hitting you, banging up walls?" BUt I never have the guts to. This forum allows us to share the info in a safe way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been on dcum for 15+ years now. And I’ve been on this board for many of those years for adhd/anxiety and not for PDA or ODD or Autism. So forgive me if I’m ignorant.

But I feel like in the past couple of years there has been an exponential increase in parents reporting that their kids are destructive and/or violent at home and sometimes at school. I went through years of school and never saw this. My kids are late teens and went to two different elementary schools (due to a move) and middle/high schools and have never been in a class whose room had to be cleared.

Every day there’s a new post about a child being destructive. What is happening nowadays? Something has changed. Are these kids unable to cope because of WiFi signals constantly messing them up? Some sort of additive in our food supply? Autism and ODD certain existed before, and I know it was under diagnosed, I get that, but what is going on with the physical behaviors that are putting classes and homes at risk of being destroyed?

People on this board may trust each other more. THe judgy ones like OP are fewer?

Op here…I wasn’t judging parents, I was commenting on what I perceived as change. The only causes I referenced were WiFi and food additives.

But I can see what you all mean as it being hid. I guess my dh and I and my kids all got lucky that we didn’t have violent kids clearing classrooms. I do remember fights in the hallways in middle school, but never in the classrooms. I’m not trying to blame: just trying to figure out what is going on. It does feel like a lot more, but many of the pps gave valid reasons why it feels that way but hasn’t necessarily increased.

I would honestly think long and hard as to why you felt the need to post these idle thoughts here and ask parents who are struggling with some of the most difficult things a parent can face to help you understand this issue. Your OP did sound very judgmental.

Have you never been curious about something? Even if it doesn’t have to do with you?? Wouldn’t parents who are struggling with this be relieved to know it’s not their fault—that it is to do with some environmental factors? I was truly curious, I’m sorry if it came off as judgmental, I didn’t mean it that way.

—op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been on dcum for 15+ years now. And I’ve been on this board for many of those years for adhd/anxiety and not for PDA or ODD or Autism. So forgive me if I’m ignorant.

But I feel like in the past couple of years there has been an exponential increase in parents reporting that their kids are destructive and/or violent at home and sometimes at school. I went through years of school and never saw this. My kids are late teens and went to two different elementary schools (due to a move) and middle/high schools and have never been in a class whose room had to be cleared.

Every day there’s a new post about a child being destructive. What is happening nowadays? Something has changed. Are these kids unable to cope because of WiFi signals constantly messing them up? Some sort of additive in our food supply? Autism and ODD certain existed before, and I know it was under diagnosed, I get that, but what is going on with the physical behaviors that are putting classes and homes at risk of being destroyed?

People on this board may trust each other more. THe judgy ones like OP are fewer?

Op here…I wasn’t judging parents, I was commenting on what I perceived as change. The only causes I referenced were WiFi and food additives.

But I can see what you all mean as it being hid. I guess my dh and I and my kids all got lucky that we didn’t have violent kids clearing classrooms. I do remember fights in the hallways in middle school, but never in the classrooms. I’m not trying to blame: just trying to figure out what is going on. It does feel like a lot more, but many of the pps gave valid reasons why it feels that way but hasn’t necessarily increased.

I would honestly think long and hard as to why you felt the need to post these idle thoughts here and ask parents who are struggling with some of the most difficult things a parent can face to help you understand this issue. Your OP did sound very judgmental.

Have you never been curious about something? Even if it doesn’t have to do with you?? Wouldn’t parents who are struggling with this be relieved to know it’s not their fault—that it is to do with some environmental factors? I was truly curious, I’m sorry if it came off as judgmental, I didn’t mean it that way.

—op

It did come off as judgemental. Thanks for the apology. Maybe use Google to satisfy your curiosity next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember, there was a global event 5 years ago when overwhelmed parents were told “tough luck” and many of them had to give their kids unlimited and unfiltered screen time in order to be able to put food on the table?

Most of human history involved children having been socialized in the home or solely within the context of their tiny community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember, there was a global event 5 years ago when overwhelmed parents were told “tough luck” and many of them had to give their kids unlimited and unfiltered screen time in order to be able to put food on the table?

Most of human history involved children having been socialized in the home or solely within the context of their tiny community.

Now tell us about child mortality rates during most of human history (which was also violent and brutal).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You hear more because these aggressive kids are now mainstreamed, causing the normal kids’ education to suffer. My elementary school children come home with stories every week about how a kid in their class “crashed out” and attacked someone or destroyed something.

Yeah, and the non-SN kids have their share of over entitlement, as they quietly perpetrate sexual assault in high school and bully the SN kids, and aggressively get their parents to argue for better grades..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been on dcum for 15+ years now. And I’ve been on this board for many of those years for adhd/anxiety and not for PDA or ODD or Autism. So forgive me if I’m ignorant.

But I feel like in the past couple of years there has been an exponential increase in parents reporting that their kids are destructive and/or violent at home and sometimes at school. I went through years of school and never saw this. My kids are late teens and went to two different elementary schools (due to a move) and middle/high schools and have never been in a class whose room had to be cleared.

Every day there’s a new post about a child being destructive. What is happening nowadays? Something has changed. Are these kids unable to cope because of WiFi signals constantly messing them up? Some sort of additive in our food supply? Autism and ODD certain existed before, and I know it was under diagnosed, I get that, but what is going on with the physical behaviors that are putting classes and homes at risk of being destroyed?

People on this board may trust each other more. THe judgy ones like OP are fewer?

Op here…I wasn’t judging parents, I was commenting on what I perceived as change. The only causes I referenced were WiFi and food additives.

But I can see what you all mean as it being hid. I guess my dh and I and my kids all got lucky that we didn’t have violent kids clearing classrooms. I do remember fights in the hallways in middle school, but never in the classrooms. I’m not trying to blame: just trying to figure out what is going on. It does feel like a lot more, but many of the pps gave valid reasons why it feels that way but hasn’t necessarily increased.

Thank you for clarifying, that is helpful.

As a parent, when I meet other parents of SN kids I so want to ask them, "is your kid hitting you, banging up walls?" BUt I never have the guts to. This forum allows us to share the info in a safe way.

The website also allows for scale. If you asked me about hitting and banging, I would say no, and it might feel isolating. My kid struggles, but maybe in ways that differ.

Posting here allows the parents that do relate to speak up, and allows others to start their own threads about different issues that other parents may relate to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been on dcum for 15+ years now. And I’ve been on this board for many of those years for adhd/anxiety and not for PDA or ODD or Autism. So forgive me if I’m ignorant.

But I feel like in the past couple of years there has been an exponential increase in parents reporting that their kids are destructive and/or violent at home and sometimes at school. I went through years of school and never saw this. My kids are late teens and went to two different elementary schools (due to a move) and middle/high schools and have never been in a class whose room had to be cleared.

Every day there’s a new post about a child being destructive. What is happening nowadays? Something has changed. Are these kids unable to cope because of WiFi signals constantly messing them up? Some sort of additive in our food supply? Autism and ODD certain existed before, and I know it was under diagnosed, I get that, but what is going on with the physical behaviors that are putting classes and homes at risk of being destroyed?

People on this board may trust each other more. THe judgy ones like OP are fewer?

Op here…I wasn’t judging parents, I was commenting on what I perceived as change. The only causes I referenced were WiFi and food additives.

But I can see what you all mean as it being hid. I guess my dh and I and my kids all got lucky that we didn’t have violent kids clearing classrooms. I do remember fights in the hallways in middle school, but never in the classrooms. I’m not trying to blame: just trying to figure out what is going on. It does feel like a lot more, but many of the pps gave valid reasons why it feels that way but hasn’t necessarily increased.

I would honestly think long and hard as to why you felt the need to post these idle thoughts here and ask parents who are struggling with some of the most difficult things a parent can face to help you understand this issue. Your OP did sound very judgmental.

Have you never been curious about something? Even if it doesn’t have to do with you?? Wouldn’t parents who are struggling with this be relieved to know it’s not their fault—that it is to do with some environmental factors? I was truly curious, I’m sorry if it came off as judgmental, I didn’t mean it that way.

—op

It did come off as judgemental. Thanks for the apology. Maybe use Google to satisfy your curiosity next time.

If we all just used Google instead of posting questions, this website would be a ghost town.

[Anonymous]

I worked in self-contained ED classrooms starting in the early 1980s. It was extremely rare for a student then, in elementary school, in our program, to hit a teacher or even another student. It just hardly ever happened, and if it did, that child was quickly removed to a program with more mental health services. The parents were called in immediately and it was a big deal.

Now, teachers in those programs are issued mats with which to protect themselves and it’s considered part of the job to have bruises and bite marks from students.

There truly is a change from the past, and I think there are a lot of factors, but what I have seen is the lack of school spots where aggressive kids can be sent. There is also a factor of teacher blaming, where the teacher is told she is not providing engaging lessons or hasn’t developed a relationship with the student, which is a ,lad of crap. A child with a mental health issue is not going to be miraculously well-behaved because of the quality of lessons or because the teacher has been kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has ZERO to do with electronics, sugar and permissive parents. Or whatever other dumb things you try and shift blame to.

This always happened, but we were completely forced into shame and hading about it. No one talked about it. You didn’t know.

On the flip side, US society has embraced a “zero tolerance” for any physical behaviors, so we are flagging every kid who touches anyone as “violent”. My ds had aggressions in K. He wasn’t big enough to hurt anyone, but on a couple occasions when in fight or flight, he swatted/pushed at a teacher to get away. On both occasions, there were other adults present and everyone on the spot made a big deal about it - immediately checking with the teacher in an excessively dramatic way if she was okay and bringing it up in follow up meetings. I was good friends with the teacher and she was like yeah I’m 100 percent fine, that was absolutely nothing. But now ds was labeled violent and aggressive. And I was ashamed and guess where I came? Dcum to vent and seek help, asking about my “violent and aggressive” kid. So I actually think a lot of the heightened reports of violent kids comes from the expanding scope of what we call “violent” in our zero tolerance society.

This has always happened. In high school, I was sexually assaulted in the hall on the way to class. In elementary school a boy exposed himself to me and others. Guess what happened? Nothing. I never even reported. That was what girls in the 80s felt was normal.

I was violently attacked on the playground in third grade and again in fourth. Both times it was a boy who attacked me (a different one each time). This was 1980 and 1981. My sister got into a fight with a boy in high school. I think our school system was pretty bad, fwiw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You hear more because these aggressive kids are now mainstreamed, causing the normal kids’ education to suffer. My elementary school children come home with stories every week about how a kid in their class “crashed out” and attacked someone or destroyed something.

Yeah, and the non-SN kids have their share of over entitlement, as they quietly perpetrate sexual assault in high school and bully the SN kids, and aggressively get their parents to argue for better grades..

Whataboutism ^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember, there was a global event 5 years ago when overwhelmed parents were told “tough luck” and many of them had to give their kids unlimited and unfiltered screen time in order to be able to put food on the table?

People were putting their kids on screens for excessive amounts of time before Covid, too. Covid is over. If screens are the issue, parent, remove the screens, and deal with the addiction.