What is going on with so many destructive children??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember, there was a global event 5 years ago when overwhelmed parents were told “tough luck” and many of them had to give their kids unlimited and unfiltered screen time in order to be able to put food on the table?

Most of human history involved children having been socialized in the home or solely within the context of their tiny community.

PP. Do tell me! When we immigrated to US, my younger brother missed almost a year of what would have been 5th grade. Between the time we had to live our home country, figure out the situation here, bouncing among a few temporary housing arrangements with our relatives - school just didn’t happen. He still turned out absolutely fine.

But that was not the same as what was going on during the pandemic. Without school, he still had tons of exposure to different people and life experiences and he wasn’t given a highly addictive numbing device to deal with his boredom.

[Anonymous]

It’s all of the above.

A. No one talked about it publicly- pre-internet it was word of mouth gossip
B. More understanding of different diagnoses
C. More self-contained programs - so it wasn’t as visible to general public. In the 80s when I was in school “those kids” were whisked away to the special ed wing or alternative program. Never to be seen again…
D. Current special Ed supports are lacking - mainstreaming as much as possible in gigantic classes is not working
E. Technology particularly fast short form video content messes with dopamine and shortens attention span.
F. Covid…my ASD kid was 4 when Covid hit. Missed out on critical services and socialization for 2 years. You tell a kid with natural anxiety that everything is dangerous (particularly in school) and then wonder why they are in fight or flight all the time.
G. Changing socio-economics of DC region. MCPS demographics look very different in 2025 than in 1995…
H. Environmental factors — I’m not a conspiracy theorist but it really seems like all the chemicals in our environment must have some impact on biology.
I. Fertility treatments - no one mentions this but there is a higher chance of having a SN child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been on dcum for 15+ years now. And I’ve been on this board for many of those years for adhd/anxiety and not for PDA or ODD or Autism. So forgive me if I’m ignorant.

But I feel like in the past couple of years there has been an exponential increase in parents reporting that their kids are destructive and/or violent at home and sometimes at school. I went through years of school and never saw this. My kids are late teens and went to two different elementary schools (due to a move) and middle/high schools and have never been in a class whose room had to be cleared.

Every day there’s a new post about a child being destructive. What is happening nowadays? Something has changed. Are these kids unable to cope because of WiFi signals constantly messing them up? Some sort of additive in our food supply? Autism and ODD certain existed before, and I know it was under diagnosed, I get that, but what is going on with the physical behaviors that are putting classes and homes at risk of being destroyed?

People on this board may trust each other more. THe judgy ones like OP are fewer?

Op here…I wasn’t judging parents, I was commenting on what I perceived as change. The only causes I referenced were WiFi and food additives.

But I can see what you all mean as it being hid. I guess my dh and I and my kids all got lucky that we didn’t have violent kids clearing classrooms. I do remember fights in the hallways in middle school, but never in the classrooms. I’m not trying to blame: just trying to figure out what is going on. It does feel like a lot more, but many of the pps gave valid reasons why it feels that way but hasn’t necessarily increased.

I would honestly think long and hard as to why you felt the need to post these idle thoughts here and ask parents who are struggling with some of the most difficult things a parent can face to help you understand this issue. Your OP did sound very judgmental.

NP. I completly disagree with you. I don't think it sounded judgmental. Perhaps you feel judged. Doesn't mean someone is actually doing that though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked in self-contained ED classrooms starting in the early 1980s. It was extremely rare for a student then, in elementary school, in our program, to hit a teacher or even another student. It just hardly ever happened, and if it did, that child was quickly removed to a program with more mental health services. The parents were called in immediately and it was a big deal.

Now, teachers in those programs are issued mats with which to protect themselves and it’s considered part of the job to have bruises and bite marks from students.

There truly is a change from the past, and I think there are a lot of factors, but what I have seen is the lack of school spots where aggressive kids can be sent. There is also a factor of teacher blaming, where the teacher is told she is not providing engaging lessons or hasn’t developed a relationship with the student, which is a ,lad of crap. A child with a mental health issue is not going to be miraculously well-behaved because of the quality of lessons or because the teacher has been kind.

+1. Even in the late 90s/ early 2000s this was the case.

[Anonymous]

hmmmmm, maybe wealth disparities weren't as stark, and we didn't have a prez who bragged about sexual assault? norms have shifted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You hear more because these aggressive kids are now mainstreamed, causing the normal kids’ education to suffer. My elementary school children come home with stories every week about how a kid in their class “crashed out” and attacked someone or destroyed something.

Yeah, and the non-SN kids have their share of over entitlement, as they quietly perpetrate sexual assault in high school and bully the SN kids, and aggressively get their parents to argue for better grades..

Whataboutism ^^

I disagree. It's just sharing that some behaviors are very external and open, while the behaviors of others are just as egregious but more hidden and protected by others. Let's not forget , SN kids are disproportionately suspended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, look at how adults are behaving these days. Not surprising that kids are following suit.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mainstreaming + budget cuts that result in more kids in the classroom and less staff to handle them. But mainly it's the-least-restrictive-environment. And parents who will fight tooth and nail to keep their kids mainstreamed.

And on the flip side, school districts that don't want to pay for appropriate settings.

Don't want to or don't have the dedicated resources?

You've got advocates pushing HARD for LRE. Threatening lawsuits if the parents don't get what they want.

Op, I was shocked at what I saw in ds's elementary school almost 20 years ago. Clearing the classroom because a kid in grade 2 was having a violent tantrum. Broken glass in the hallway and a bleeding student because he punched the glass. One teacher took care of the student (not seriously injured fortunately), one cleaned up the glass and another kept the hallway clear both to cleanup the glass and give the one student privacy.

People are talking about it more but I'm not sure anything else is being done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked in self-contained ED classrooms starting in the early 1980s. It was extremely rare for a student then, in elementary school, in our program, to hit a teacher or even another student. It just hardly ever happened, and if it did, that child was quickly removed to a program with more mental health services. The parents were called in immediately and it was a big deal.

Now, teachers in those programs are issued mats with which to protect themselves and it’s considered part of the job to have bruises and bite marks from students.

There truly is a change from the past, and I think there are a lot of factors, but what I have seen is the lack of school spots where aggressive kids can be sent. There is also a factor of teacher blaming, where the teacher is told she is not providing engaging lessons or hasn’t developed a relationship with the student, which is a ,lad of crap. A child with a mental health issue is not going to be miraculously well-behaved because of the quality of lessons or because the teacher has been kind.

Oh my God YES!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked in self-contained ED classrooms starting in the early 1980s. It was extremely rare for a student then, in elementary school, in our program, to hit a teacher or even another student. It just hardly ever happened, and if it did, that child was quickly removed to a program with more mental health services. The parents were called in immediately and it was a big deal.

Now, teachers in those programs are issued mats with which to protect themselves and it’s considered part of the job to have bruises and bite marks from students.

There truly is a change from the past, and I think there are a lot of factors, but what I have seen is the lack of school spots where aggressive kids can be sent. There is also a factor of teacher blaming, where the teacher is told she is not providing engaging lessons or hasn’t developed a relationship with the student, which is a ,lad of crap. A child with a mental health issue is not going to be miraculously well-behaved because of the quality of lessons or because the teacher has been kind.

I also think the classroom sizes are way larger which is harder to control.

[Anonymous]

Just take a look around next time you’re at a doctor office or store. Every single kid on a device, even babies. It’s terrible. We switched to a new ped office, and we had to wait almost an hour for the doctor, when he finally came in he said he expected to see the kids on devices and made a big show of complimenting all of us because the kids were reading real books or talking quietly instead. He said he never sees that anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in self-contained ED classrooms starting in the early 1980s. It was extremely rare for a student then, in elementary school, in our program, to hit a teacher or even another student. It just hardly ever happened, and if it did, that child was quickly removed to a program with more mental health services. The parents were called in immediately and it was a big deal.

Now, teachers in those programs are issued mats with which to protect themselves and it’s considered part of the job to have bruises and bite marks from students.

There truly is a change from the past, and I think there are a lot of factors, but what I have seen is the lack of school spots where aggressive kids can be sent. There is also a factor of teacher blaming, where the teacher is told she is not providing engaging lessons or hasn’t developed a relationship with the student, which is a ,lad of crap. A child with a mental health issue is not going to be miraculously well-behaved because of the quality of lessons or because the teacher has been kind.

Oh my God YES!

In the early 80s kids could still just be thrown out of school - there was no IDEA or ADA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just take a look around next time you’re at a doctor office or store. Every single kid on a device, even babies. It’s terrible. We switched to a new ped office, and we had to wait almost an hour for the doctor, when he finally came in he said he expected to see the kids on devices and made a big show of complimenting all of us because the kids were reading real books or talking quietly instead. He said he never sees that anymore.

Oh my god, get over yourself. Kids on devices for a one hour wait at the doctor is not the reason some children have special needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember, there was a global event 5 years ago when overwhelmed parents were told “tough luck” and many of them had to give their kids unlimited and unfiltered screen time in order to be able to put food on the table?

Most of human history involved children having been socialized in the home or solely within the context of their tiny community.

Now tell us about child mortality rates during most of human history (which was also violent and brutal).

Irrelevant. Next deflection?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in self-contained ED classrooms starting in the early 1980s. It was extremely rare for a student then, in elementary school, in our program, to hit a teacher or even another student. It just hardly ever happened, and if it did, that child was quickly removed to a program with more mental health services. The parents were called in immediately and it was a big deal.

Now, teachers in those programs are issued mats with which to protect themselves and it’s considered part of the job to have bruises and bite marks from students.

There truly is a change from the past, and I think there are a lot of factors, but what I have seen is the lack of school spots where aggressive kids can be sent. There is also a factor of teacher blaming, where the teacher is told she is not providing engaging lessons or hasn’t developed a relationship with the student, which is a ,lad of crap. A child with a mental health issue is not going to be miraculously well-behaved because of the quality of lessons or because the teacher has been kind.

Oh my God YES!

In the early 80s kids could still just be thrown out of school - there was no IDEA or ADA

Read what I hilighted.

Teachers are not therapists, counselors, psychologists etc and should not be expected to fill those roles. There is no way on this earth that teachers shoud be issued mats to protect themselves at work. That approach is not helping anybody.