Aunts didn’t come to baby shower

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people don't check their personal emails as often as they used to. Many of us have moved to txting as the main means of communicating.

Also, lots of my emails go to junk now and I only realize it when I'm specifically expecting the email. Otherwise, I don't routinely look at my junk folder.

If you do send an important email now, I would txt the person to let them know and make sure they acknowledge the txt.

One more point, if an invite is thru an Evite system, if it was an event I knew I didn't want to attend or wasn't sure, I didn't even open the evite, because the system reports back to the sender that I "read" the evite.

Sometimes I want to delay acknowledging that I don't want to attend, and maybe a few times wanted to reserve the option to later say, oh I'm sorry, I didn't "see" the evite (well, I didn't see the evite details).

I'm not talking about small gatherings where I would be assumed to attend, but things like school fundraiser meetings, a large Kentucky Derby party sent to 100 people by a person I barely know - these things mainly just need to know how many are coming, not who/how many aren't coming.

How hard is it to just RSVP "no"? What you're describing sounds needlessly immature, and rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t care for them and don’t have a relationship, but expected them to come to a baby shower and give you stuff for a baby that isn’t even in the planet yet?

A baby shower kind of downer have much to do with the baby - it tends to be about fawning over the mother *who in this case does not like these people*. Why do you expect them to fawn over you?

I actually agree with this. My friend invited SIL to my Bachelorette night out and she ended up disappearing with some guy! But it wasn't really surprising since I knew she didn't like me much. If I had had a baby shower I'm sure she wouldn't have come.
Wait until the actual baby is born. My SIL had to be forced to visit by her parents. She didn't want to hold the baby, brought nothing, but happily ate the cake and coffee I served her 48 hours after my c section. FIL is always telling the kids stories about "Auntie S" and the kids barely know who she is.

Agreed. My sister is also MIA in my kids lives, unless she wants a hug (which my one kid always refuses) and a photo for her Instagram feed at holiday gatherings. It's weird to me because our aunts were all really awesome when we were growing up, but similar to this PP my kids barely know her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your husband asked them what did they say?

He didn’t. I’m not sure if they talk much anymore or what goes on with that.

So you don’t like them and he dose not talk to them and you are puzzled as to why they didn’t go to your shower? 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t care for them and don’t have a relationship, but expected them to come to a baby shower and give you stuff for a baby that isn’t even in the planet yet?

A baby shower kind of downer have much to do with the baby - it tends to be about fawning over the mother *who in this case does not like these people*. Why do you expect them to fawn over you?

I actually agree with this. My friend invited SIL to my Bachelorette night out and she ended up disappearing with some guy! But it wasn't really surprising since I knew she didn't like me much. If I had had a baby shower I'm sure she wouldn't have come.
Wait until the actual baby is born. My SIL had to be forced to visit by her parents. She didn't want to hold the baby, brought nothing, but happily ate the cake and coffee I served her 48 hours after my c section. FIL is always telling the kids stories about "Auntie S" and the kids barely know who she is.

Agreed. My sister is also MIA in my kids lives, unless she wants a hug (which my one kid always refuses) and a photo for her Instagram feed at holiday gatherings. It's weird to me because our aunts were all really awesome when we were growing up, but similar to this PP my kids barely know her.

Some people just don’t care for kids and/or their lives don’t revolve around you.

[Anonymous]

Ma'am why on EARTH would they attend your baby shower if you don't like them?

ICK!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t go to my brother’s wife’s shower because I know she doesn’t like me and has never made an effort to get to know me or come to my events. I wish them well and hope all goes well with the birth, etc. but don’t plan on having a relationship with this child so didn’t feel the need to go.

NP. I don’t particularly like my brother’s wife and my brother and I aren’t super close, but I would never refer to their baby as “this child” so coldly, and would never withhold affection and attention from an *innocent baby who was my family* because the mom and. I aren’t best friends. And guess what? The more I make connections with my niece, the more my brother connects with me and my family, and the more open and cordial his wife has become with me. See how that works? You sound awful.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t go to my brother’s wife’s shower because I know she doesn’t like me and has never made an effort to get to know me or come to my events. I wish them well and hope all goes well with the birth, etc. but don’t plan on having a relationship with this child so didn’t feel the need to go.

NP. I don’t particularly like my brother’s wife and my brother and I aren’t super close, but I would never refer to their baby as “this child” so coldly, and would never withhold affection and attention from an *innocent baby who was my family* because the mom and. I aren’t best friends. And guess what? The more I make connections with my niece, the more my brother connects with me and my family, and the more open and cordial his wife has become with me. See how that works? You sound awful.

+100

I’m sure the brother and wife don’t care? Why would they want someone they don’t get along with around their kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t care for them and don’t have a relationship, but expected them to come to a baby shower and give you stuff for a baby that isn’t even in the planet yet?

A baby shower kind of downer have much to do with the baby - it tends to be about fawning over the mother *who in this case does not like these people*. Why do you expect them to fawn over you?

I actually agree with this. My friend invited SIL to my Bachelorette night out and she ended up disappearing with some guy! But it wasn't really surprising since I knew she didn't like me much. If I had had a baby shower I'm sure she wouldn't have come.
Wait until the actual baby is born. My SIL had to be forced to visit by her parents. She didn't want to hold the baby, brought nothing, but happily ate the cake and coffee I served her 48 hours after my c section. FIL is always telling the kids stories about "Auntie S" and the kids barely know who she is.

Agreed. My sister is also MIA in my kids lives, unless she wants a hug (which my one kid always refuses) and a photo for her Instagram feed at holiday gatherings. It's weird to me because our aunts were all really awesome when we were growing up, but similar to this PP my kids barely know her.

Some people just don’t care for kids and/or their lives don’t revolve around you.

Except when they want to pretend on social media that they do.....that's probably the most perplexing thing about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t care for them and don’t have a relationship, but expected them to come to a baby shower and give you stuff for a baby that isn’t even in the planet yet?

A baby shower kind of downer have much to do with the baby - it tends to be about fawning over the mother *who in this case does not like these people*. Why do you expect them to fawn over you?

I actually agree with this. My friend invited SIL to my Bachelorette night out and she ended up disappearing with some guy! But it wasn't really surprising since I knew she didn't like me much. If I had had a baby shower I'm sure she wouldn't have come.
Wait until the actual baby is born. My SIL had to be forced to visit by her parents. She didn't want to hold the baby, brought nothing, but happily ate the cake and coffee I served her 48 hours after my c section. FIL is always telling the kids stories about "Auntie S" and the kids barely know who she is.

Agreed. My sister is also MIA in my kids lives, unless she wants a hug (which my one kid always refuses) and a photo for her Instagram feed at holiday gatherings. It's weird to me because our aunts were all really awesome when we were growing up, but similar to this PP my kids barely know her.

Some people just don’t care for kids and/or their lives don’t revolve around you.

Except when they want to pretend on social media that they do.....that's probably the most perplexing thing about it.

Hoping you also mean people like OP, who have absolutely no interest in relationships with these people until they are not lavishing attention on her pregnant belly and the coming of her golden, very special Child? (Capitalization on purpose)

My XSIL was like this. Absolutely no interest in a relationship with me as a human beyond me buying her stuff and free childcare. This sounds OPs game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has two younger sisters who are very close to each other, one moved to the other’s neighborhood, they go on vacations together with their husbands, etc. I don’t really care for them, we are not close and are just different.

Neither of them came to our baby shower or sent a gift. I thought it was strange and I feel snubbed. Despite our differences that is their brothers kid and their nephew. I guess they just don’t care. It’s sad.

Are they parents? if not, maybe they are sick of everyone in the family rubbing it in their faces

[Anonymous]

If you don't like them, why do you want them there? Were you hoping for a gift card to pottery barn kids or something? Buy your own stuff!

[Anonymous]

Three hours of travel to a baby shower of someone who doesn’t like them? Why do you think that makes sense?

[Anonymous]

Plan for your SILs to pretty much skip everything regarding your child.. Not just your baby shower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t care for them and don’t have a relationship, but expected them to come to a baby shower and give you stuff for a baby that isn’t even in the planet yet?

A baby shower kind of downer have much to do with the baby - it tends to be about fawning over the mother *who in this case does not like these people*. Why do you expect them to fawn over you?

I actually agree with this. My friend invited SIL to my Bachelorette night out and she ended up disappearing with some guy! But it wasn't really surprising since I knew she didn't like me much. If I had had a baby shower I'm sure she wouldn't have come.
Wait until the actual baby is born. My SIL had to be forced to visit by her parents. She didn't want to hold the baby, brought nothing, but happily ate the cake and coffee I served her 48 hours after my c section. FIL is always telling the kids stories about "Auntie S" and the kids barely know who she is.

Agreed. My sister is also MIA in my kids lives, unless she wants a hug (which my one kid always refuses) and a photo for her Instagram feed at holiday gatherings. It's weird to me because our aunts were all really awesome when we were growing up, but similar to this PP my kids barely know her.

Some people just don’t care for kids and/or their lives don’t revolve around you.

Except when they want to pretend on social media that they do.....that's probably the most perplexing thing about it.

Hoping you also mean people like OP, who have absolutely no interest in relationships with these people until they are not lavishing attention on her pregnant belly and the coming of her golden, very special Child? (Capitalization on purpose)

My XSIL was like this. Absolutely no interest in a relationship with me as a human beyond me buying her stuff and free childcare. This sounds OPs game.

I can only speak for my own experience, and I really don't think there's enough info from OP as to what they are looking for from their SILs. Where did she mention free childcare and lavishing attention? You seem to be projecting. It's perfectly normal for your family members and ILs to attend showers, or at least send a courtesy RSVP. Some of you are weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t care for them and don’t have a relationship, but expected them to come to a baby shower and give you stuff for a baby that isn’t even in the planet yet?

A baby shower kind of downer have much to do with the baby - it tends to be about fawning over the mother *who in this case does not like these people*. Why do you expect them to fawn over you?

I actually agree with this. My friend invited SIL to my Bachelorette night out and she ended up disappearing with some guy! But it wasn't really surprising since I knew she didn't like me much. If I had had a baby shower I'm sure she wouldn't have come.
Wait until the actual baby is born. My SIL had to be forced to visit by her parents. She didn't want to hold the baby, brought nothing, but happily ate the cake and coffee I served her 48 hours after my c section. FIL is always telling the kids stories about "Auntie S" and the kids barely know who she is.

Agreed. My sister is also MIA in my kids lives, unless she wants a hug (which my one kid always refuses) and a photo for her Instagram feed at holiday gatherings. It's weird to me because our aunts were all really awesome when we were growing up, but similar to this PP my kids barely know her.

Some people just don’t care for kids and/or their lives don’t revolve around you.

Except when they want to pretend on social media that they do.....that's probably the most perplexing thing about it.

Hoping you also mean people like OP, who have absolutely no interest in relationships with these people until they are not lavishing attention on her pregnant belly and the coming of her golden, very special Child? (Capitalization on purpose)

My XSIL was like this. Absolutely no interest in a relationship with me as a human beyond me buying her stuff and free childcare. This sounds OPs game.

I can only speak for my own experience, and I really don't think there's enough info from OP as to what they are looking for from their SILs. Where did she mention free childcare and lavishing attention? You seem to be projecting. It's perfectly normal for your family members and ILs to attend showers, or at least send a courtesy RSVP. Some of you are weird.

Yes, it is weird to invite random relatives that you don’t like, have a relationship with, and barely talk to, to your baby shower.