Aunts didn’t come to baby shower

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your husband asked them what did they say?

He didn’t. I’m not sure if they talk much anymore or what goes on with that.

He doesn’t even talk to them regularly? Are you sure they were invited? Why would you expect people you don’t talk to or have any kind of real relationship with to come to a party that is just about giving gifts (to someone who doesn’t like them)? Did you reach out to them and personally invite them?

Why haven’t you talked to your DH about this to see if he even wants to patch things up and have his sisters be involved aunties? And do you really want them to visit your home to see the baby regularly? I mean, are you excited at the prospect of hosting them for an afternoon on the regular once they fall in love with their niece or nephew? Not the imaginary version of them that apologizes and conforms to your dream SIL standards, but the real SILS who you don’t really like and who are pretty tight with each other.

[Anonymous]

I went to my SIL's baby shower and wish I hadn't. She either ignored me or glared at me. Any time she caught me socializing by chatting with someone (even at one point, someone I am biologically related to!) if our eyes met she'd glare at me. I couldn't leave fast enough. Honestly, I don't even know why she invited me since she so clearly didn't want me there.

[Anonymous]

Your husband's siblings have a life that doesn't revolve around you, your pregnancy and eventually, your child/children. There could be many reasons why they didn't come, and given how you clearly feel about them, I'm not surprised they didn't come.

[Anonymous]

Answer questions, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t go to my brother’s wife’s shower because I know she doesn’t like me and has never made an effort to get to know me or come to my events. I wish them well and hope all goes well with the birth, etc. but don’t plan on having a relationship with this child so didn’t feel the need to go.

NP. I don’t particularly like my brother’s wife and my brother and I aren’t super close, but I would never refer to their baby as “this child” so coldly, and would never withhold affection and attention from an *innocent baby who was my family* because the mom and. I aren’t best friends. And guess what? The more I make connections with my niece, the more my brother connects with me and my family, and the more open and cordial his wife has become with me. See how that works? You sound awful.

NP but get a grip, the baby isn't born yet. There is no baby to withhold affection from or build a relationship with. Baby showers are about gifts for the parents, nobody is missing an opportunity to connect with a niece or nephew. Casting missing a baby shower as coldness and cruelty to a child is a bizarre overreaction.

[Anonymous]

You don’t even like them. I cannot imagine possibly caring about this. You sound like a gift grabber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t go to my brother’s wife’s shower because I know she doesn’t like me and has never made an effort to get to know me or come to my events. I wish them well and hope all goes well with the birth, etc. but don’t plan on having a relationship with this child so didn’t feel the need to go.

NP. I don’t particularly like my brother’s wife and my brother and I aren’t super close, but I would never refer to their baby as “this child” so coldly, and would never withhold affection and attention from an *innocent baby who was my family* because the mom and. I aren’t best friends. And guess what? The more I make connections with my niece, the more my brother connects with me and my family, and the more open and cordial his wife has become with me. See how that works? You sound awful.

NP but get a grip, the baby isn't born yet. There is no baby to withhold affection from or build a relationship with. Baby showers are about gifts for the parents, nobody is missing an opportunity to connect with a niece or nephew. Casting missing a baby shower as coldness and cruelty to a child is a bizarre overreaction.

Reading comprehension is not your strong suit, eh? The PP I was responding to literally said, while she wishes them well and hopes all goes well with the birth, “I don’t plan on having a relationship with this child.” Wow. You’ve already written off a baby, a child, a member of your family because you don’t particularly get on with the parents. So gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t go to my brother’s wife’s shower because I know she doesn’t like me and has never made an effort to get to know me or come to my events. I wish them well and hope all goes well with the birth, etc. but don’t plan on having a relationship with this child so didn’t feel the need to go.

NP. I don’t particularly like my brother’s wife and my brother and I aren’t super close, but I would never refer to their baby as “this child” so coldly, and would never withhold affection and attention from an *innocent baby who was my family* because the mom and. I aren’t best friends. And guess what? The more I make connections with my niece, the more my brother connects with me and my family, and the more open and cordial his wife has become with me. See how that works? You sound awful.

You’re assuming a lot here. IDGAF if my brother or SIL ‘connect with me and my family’, don’t want a relationship with them. What I meant was, it’s unlikely I’ll have a relationship with their child since my relationship with them is bad. I certainly wouldn’t be unkind to a child.

You’re already saying you—your words—“don’t plan on having a relationship with this child.” Wow. That’s unkind right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t go to my brother’s wife’s shower because I know she doesn’t like me and has never made an effort to get to know me or come to my events. I wish them well and hope all goes well with the birth, etc. but don’t plan on having a relationship with this child so didn’t feel the need to go.

NP. I don’t particularly like my brother’s wife and my brother and I aren’t super close, but I would never refer to their baby as “this child” so coldly, and would never withhold affection and attention from an *innocent baby who was my family* because the mom and. I aren’t best friends. And guess what? The more I make connections with my niece, the more my brother connects with me and my family, and the more open and cordial his wife has become with me. See how that works? You sound awful.

You’re assuming a lot here. IDGAF if my brother or SIL ‘connect with me and my family’, don’t want a relationship with them. What I meant was, it’s unlikely I’ll have a relationship with their child since my relationship with them is bad. I certainly wouldn’t be unkind to a child.

You’re already saying you—your words—“don’t plan on having a relationship with this child.” Wow. That’s unkind right there.

Let me spell this out for you PP…brother and SIL don’t like me, I don’t like them. We avoid each other and don’t speak outside of having to see each other once or twice a year at family gatherings. Given that I do not have a relationship with the parents, I wouldn’t expect to have one with their child, simply because we won’t be seeing one another much. Are you close with a lot of children of people you don’t get along with/people you rarely see?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has two younger sisters who are very close to each other, one moved to the other’s neighborhood, they go on vacations together with their husbands, etc. I don’t really care for them, we are not close and are just different.

Neither of them came to our baby shower or sent a gift. I thought it was strange and I feel snubbed. Despite our differences that is their brothers kid and their nephew. I guess they just don’t care. It’s sad.

Who threw the shower? Did your MIL come? When is the baby due?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t go to my brother’s wife’s shower because I know she doesn’t like me and has never made an effort to get to know me or come to my events. I wish them well and hope all goes well with the birth, etc. but don’t plan on having a relationship with this child so didn’t feel the need to go.

NP. I don’t particularly like my brother’s wife and my brother and I aren’t super close, but I would never refer to their baby as “this child” so coldly, and would never withhold affection and attention from an *innocent baby who was my family* because the mom and. I aren’t best friends. And guess what? The more I make connections with my niece, the more my brother connects with me and my family, and the more open and cordial his wife has become with me. See how that works? You sound awful.

You’re assuming a lot here. IDGAF if my brother or SIL ‘connect with me and my family’, don’t want a relationship with them. What I meant was, it’s unlikely I’ll have a relationship with their child since my relationship with them is bad. I certainly wouldn’t be unkind to a child.

You’re already saying you—your words—“don’t plan on having a relationship with this child.” Wow. That’s unkind right there.

Let me spell this out for you PP…brother and SIL don’t like me, I don’t like them. We avoid each other and don’t speak outside of having to see each other once or twice a year at family gatherings. Given that I do not have a relationship with the parents, I wouldn’t expect to have one with their child, simply because we won’t be seeing one another much. Are you close with a lot of children of people you don’t get along with/people you rarely see?

DP

I get along with most people, including my in-laws. What is the cause of your mutual dislike?

[Anonymous]

Did I miss OP saying whether they live near or not? I don’t understand what the surprise is when it’s been made clear none of them have a close relationship. Wouldn’t coming to the shower have been hypocritical?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t go to my brother’s wife’s shower because I know she doesn’t like me and has never made an effort to get to know me or come to my events. I wish them well and hope all goes well with the birth, etc. but don’t plan on having a relationship with this child so didn’t feel the need to go.

NP. I don’t particularly like my brother’s wife and my brother and I aren’t super close, but I would never refer to their baby as “this child” so coldly, and would never withhold affection and attention from an *innocent baby who was my family* because the mom and. I aren’t best friends. And guess what? The more I make connections with my niece, the more my brother connects with me and my family, and the more open and cordial his wife has become with me. See how that works? You sound awful.

You’re assuming a lot here. IDGAF if my brother or SIL ‘connect with me and my family’, don’t want a relationship with them. What I meant was, it’s unlikely I’ll have a relationship with their child since my relationship with them is bad. I certainly wouldn’t be unkind to a child.

Are you always such a baatch or just where your siblings are involved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They probably didn’t come because they are aware you don’t care for them.

+1
I don't go to places I don't feel welcome. I assume others do the same.

If you wanted them to be there, call them and tell them it's important to you and your husband that they attend. This isn't rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t even like them. I cannot imagine possibly caring about this. You sound like a gift grabber.

Totally agree.

Why do you care if people you don't like are not interested in your kid?

My SIL didn't come to my shower but I really like her and understood it was a travel problem and a money problem. Fast forward 15 years and she is close to both my kids and spoils them rotten.