What old fashion rules still apply? Which are outdated

[Anonymous]

I'm 58, white, but grew up lower income. I used to live by those WASP rules, trying to fake it at work, trying to pass as professional. Now, I dress to flatter my body type, which is a bit bumpy and wrinkly these days. And do things that I think are fun and make me happy. I have light blue nail polish on at the moment. Never would have done that 20 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 58, white, but grew up lower income. I used to live by those WASP rules, trying to fake it at work, trying to pass as professional. Now, I dress to flatter my body type, which is a bit bumpy and wrinkly these days. And do things that I think are fun and make me happy. I have light blue nail polish on at the moment. Never would have done that 20 years ago.

Yes! I’m younger but after having kids (daughters), I embrace color because they are so thrilled and joyful whenever I wear colorful clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mix metals including hardware on my accessories.

I don't really wear diamonds during the day except my wedding band.

I don't wear white after Labor Day.

I don't wear yoga pants/athletic clothing unless I am actually exercising. Civil people everywhere should revolt against athleisure.

Do you know what’s funny? I have never in my life looked at a woman closely enough to see if the hardware on her accessories “matched” the metal in her rings or earrings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone who says pantyhose are dead must not have been raised by a mother with class. Full stop.

ICYMI: certain outfits, occasions, and weather require your legs to be covered…and tights aren’t appropriate for certain outfits/settings.

Plus, I guarantee most men prefer seeing a woman in high end silky hosiery at dressy events.

In terms of other rules I follow: no bare shoulders in church. Ever. And no jeans in church.

You are so old and the internalized misogyny is so deep with you that it would never occur to you that “what men prefer” is not a thing women of style care about.

[Anonymous]

I think of pantyhose when referring to wearing a dress or skirt to an event. No person on the younger side (less than 50 i’d say) does that anymore.

I went to a wedding this past weekend and the only pantyhose I saw was on much older women.

tights I will wear under pants when it’s cold, or sometimes under a skirt to be fashionable (and also when it’s cold).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone who says pantyhose are dead must not have been raised by a mother with class. Full stop.

ICYMI: certain outfits, occasions, and weather require your legs to be covered…and tights aren’t appropriate for certain outfits/settings.

Plus, I guarantee most men prefer seeing a woman in high end silky hosiery at dressy events.

In terms of other rules I follow: no bare shoulders in church. Ever. And no jeans in church.

I wear high end silky hosiery to church. For the men, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mix metals including hardware on my accessories.

I don't really wear diamonds during the day except my wedding band.

I don't wear white after Labor Day.

I don't wear yoga pants/athletic clothing unless I am actually exercising. Civil people everywhere should revolt against athleisure.

Do you know what’s funny? I have never in my life looked at a woman closely enough to see if the hardware on her accessories “matched” the metal in her rings or earrings.

Fortunately I am dressing for myself and not you.

[Anonymous]

My rules are my own rules, I guess. It’s just personal and intuitive, based mostly on weather, location, and occasion. For example, I have an event tonight, and I have had three dresses in mind for it because the weather in NYC has been all over the place and I wasn’t sure if the colorful cotton/silk dress I want to work was actually going to work. It turns out it is, but I still have the “50 degrees and raining” outfit at the ready.

FWIW, flesh-colored hosiery NEVER plays into the mix. I left that behind in the 90s, where it will stay for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone who says pantyhose are dead must not have been raised by a mother with class. Full stop.

ICYMI: certain outfits, occasions, and weather require your legs to be covered…and tights aren’t appropriate for certain outfits/settings.

Plus, I guarantee most men prefer seeing a woman in high end silky hosiery at dressy events.

In terms of other rules I follow: no bare shoulders in church. Ever. And no jeans in church.

Anyone who talks about the class level of others is by definition low class.

…said the insecure woman who wasn’t raised to understand the unwritten rules embraced by classy people who run the world.

You might be surprised by what the people running the world are wearing these days. I suggest you locate your smelling salts before you turn on the news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mix metals including hardware on my accessories.

I don't really wear diamonds during the day except my wedding band.

I don't wear white after Labor Day.

I don't wear yoga pants/athletic clothing unless I am actually exercising. Civil people everywhere should revolt against athleisure.

Do you know what’s funny? I have never in my life looked at a woman closely enough to see if the hardware on her accessories “matched” the metal in her rings or earrings.

Fortunately I am dressing for myself and not you.

So yellow gold prongs on earrings and silver hardware on a handbag would offend you, personally? You would be odious unto yourself? What’s it like to be that sensitive and self-focused?

[Anonymous]

Even Kate Middleton sometimes wears bare legs with open-toed sandals, including when Queen Elizabeth was still alive. That’s the final word on class, so bare legs are fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mix metals including hardware on my accessories.

I don't really wear diamonds during the day except my wedding band.

I don't wear white after Labor Day.

I don't wear yoga pants/athletic clothing unless I am actually exercising. Civil people everywhere should revolt against athleisure.

Do you know what’s funny? I have never in my life looked at a woman closely enough to see if the hardware on her accessories “matched” the metal in her rings or earrings.

Fortunately I am dressing for myself and not you.

So yellow gold prongs on earrings and silver hardware on a handbag would offend you, personally? You would be odious unto yourself? What’s it like to be that sensitive and self-focused?

What's it like to read into everything and take other people's clothing choices so personally? It's fashion, it's not that serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously low class white woman here, I hadn't even heard no diamond studs during the day, or that winter white is a different color. But my studs are not real diamonds and I don't wear much white anyway, too hard to keep perfect.

The one rule that gets to me is pantyhose being out because I cannot figure out how to dress for work I'm DC summers. I much prefer dresses to pants, and wesr dark tights in winter, but that's not a good summer look. Ofices are SO cold with AC, bare legs don't work. Advice, fashion gurus?

Maybe try a simple Black pant in your preferred fit and material. Also, if you're into any knit or cardigans that works great for colder office temps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even Kate Middleton sometimes wears bare legs with open-toed sandals, including when Queen Elizabeth was still alive. That’s the final word on class, so bare legs are fine.

Sure, bare legs with open toed shoes is fairly standard—particularly in warm weather and with certain less formal dresses (think: sundress).

But Kate typically wears hosiery when dressed up—and always when it’s cold.

Most professional women in an office setting know that naked legs look silly with a dress or skirt suit and heels. And we don’t wear sundresses to the office. Nobody is suggesting wearing pantyhose with sandals to a picnic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Full disclosure, I'm a WASP from Chevy Chase and I grew up with a lot of fashion and etiquette rules that the rest of the country had dropped at least a generation before. Even now, if I showed up wearing a white dress to lunch with my 80 year old father in, say, October there is a 100% chance he'd make a comment about it. I still follow a lot of these rules for my own personal style, but I have lots of friends who dress totally differently and I love that for them. I'm 42 and a stay at home mom.

-I love black tights and wear them all the time in fall/winter. I also like colored tights sometimes. I do actually wear pantyhose but only to church when it's chilly outside, like today. Most people at my church are over 60 anyway.

-I don't wear diamond jewelry in general. I prefer solid gold pieces.

-I don't mix metals. All gold (usually) or all silver tone. This includes handbag hardware. If I'm wearing colored pieces then they should coordinate with the rest of the outfit. For nicer occasions I'd also make sure my nails coordinate.

-Nails are short and should be polished only in light pinks, nudes, coral, red, or burgundy. I might do fuchsia for vacation. No brightly colored eyeshadow or flashy makeup. My grandmother is long dead but she strongly disapproved of red or burgundy lips or nails.

-I don't wear white after Labor Day. I do wear winter white frequently but winter white is a different color than true white.

-I don't mix brown and black. To be fair, I rarely wear brown anything.

-Foundation garments are crucial to looking put together. I wouldn't leave the house without a proper bra and I am evangelical about proper bra fitting. No visible bra straps or lace peeking through a thin shirt. No VPL. Slipshorts are great for under dresses to prevent VPL and for modesty if there is a sudden gust of wind.

-Sneakers should be worn for athletic activity or with athletic clothes. Skirts and dresses should be paired with a proper shoe or a sandal in the summer or spring. Sandals require pedicured toes so I don't wear them very often.

-I don't care about having styled hair. My hair is straight and I don't think it makes much of a difference if I blow dry it or air dry it. I don't dye it but I probably will when I start getting gray hairs.

-Synthetic sweaters are yuck. Real wool (merino, cashmere, etc) only. I would not wear fake leather shoes or bags. Of course cloth or woven shoes and bags are fine.

Writing this has kind of made me realize I might need some therapy.

Or some serious fashion advice.