Eye-opening new study on the harms of divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find that marrying a quality person and being a thoughtful spouse has a 100% success rate. There are no people on either side of the family that are divorced.

You sound smug. And like you haven’t been humbled by life.

LOL why is staying married and being a quality person considered smug and superiority complex?? Very weird. I would say it's quite a feat and everyone should be proud to manage all the challenges and weather all the storms with their significant other through the years.

Because you’re making the classic human mistake that your positive situation is 100% due to your actions. And it’s not. And makes you think you have full control and therefore bad stuff will not happen to you. It’s called hubris and many Greek tragedies have covered it.

Divorce isn’t something that just happens to the vast majority of married couple. It’s an active choice.

Sometimes it is an active choice for one party and the other just gets dragged along for the ride. It only takes one to divorce. There was no discussion at my house. I was told as he walked out the door. Am I perfect? Nobody is perfect. Now he has started a new family. At least The New Wife won’t be surprised like I was. She knows he’s capable of just walking out one day. I hope my kids will be okay in the end. If not, it won’t be because of my lack of trying.

Yep, same. He just left and decided he wanted to be an every other weekend dad. Having freedom to go to the bar and get a new lil girlfriend was more important than our family.

Anyway, there are a lot of smug people in this thread but rest assured you will get yours. Life can turn on a dime and I hope when some calamity that is out of your control happens to you, you think back to this. Karma has a funny way of coming around.

I like how you’re acting like people don’t have divorce parties, that’s how much they don’t take divorce seriously. I’m sorry for your hardships, but you are acting like you being abandoned is the way it always goes down. There are a lot of people who act like divorce is NBD, fail to take their kids’ feelings seriously, fail to do everything they can to help their kids, fail to prioritize their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find that marrying a quality person and being a thoughtful spouse has a 100% success rate. There are no people on either side of the family that are divorced.

You sound smug. And like you haven’t been humbled by life.

LOL why is staying married and being a quality person considered smug and superiority complex?? Very weird. I would say it's quite a feat and everyone should be proud to manage all the challenges and weather all the storms with their significant other through the years.

Because you’re making the classic human mistake that your positive situation is 100% due to your actions. And it’s not. And makes you think you have full control and therefore bad stuff will not happen to you. It’s called hubris and many Greek tragedies have covered it.

Divorce isn’t something that just happens to the vast majority of married couple. It’s an active choice.

So if you knew about a marriage with: extreme infidelity, criminal activity, no-longer masked mental health issues that cause awful outbursts in front of the kids for years, physical abuse—you’d argue that it’s still a choice?

NP. People have gone out of their way to acknowledge that there are some divorces that are better for everyone, especially due to abuse…but keep pretending. Keep pretending like lazy, casual divorces with freaking divorce parties aren’t a thing. Keep discounting the kids who suffer from that type of unnecessary dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find that marrying a quality person and being a thoughtful spouse has a 100% success rate. There are no people on either side of the family that are divorced.

You sound smug. And like you haven’t been humbled by life.

LOL why is staying married and being a quality person considered smug and superiority complex?? Very weird. I would say it's quite a feat and everyone should be proud to manage all the challenges and weather all the storms with their significant other through the years.

Because you’re making the classic human mistake that your positive situation is 100% due to your actions. And it’s not. And makes you think you have full control and therefore bad stuff will not happen to you. It’s called hubris and many Greek tragedies have covered it.

Divorce isn’t something that just happens to the vast majority of married couple. It’s an active choice.

Sometimes it is an active choice for one party and the other just gets dragged along for the ride. It only takes one to divorce. There was no discussion at my house. I was told as he walked out the door. Am I perfect? Nobody is perfect. Now he has started a new family. At least The New Wife won’t be surprised like I was. She knows he’s capable of just walking out one day. I hope my kids will be okay in the end. If not, it won’t be because of my lack of trying.

Yep, same. He just left and decided he wanted to be an every other weekend dad. Having freedom to go to the bar and get a new lil girlfriend was more important than our family.

Anyway, there are a lot of smug people in this thread but rest assured you will get yours. Life can turn on a dime and I hope when some calamity that is out of your control happens to you, you think back to this. Karma has a funny way of coming around.

I like how you’re acting like people don’t have divorce parties, that’s how much they don’t take divorce seriously. I’m sorry for your hardships, but you are acting like you being abandoned is the way it always goes down. There are a lot of people who act like divorce is NBD, fail to take their kids’ feelings seriously, fail to do everything they can to help their kids, fail to prioritize their kids.

I have not seen that. It really sounds like you are looking for a way to feel like you are better than others. You are married, here is your cookie!! You are sooo superior and so are your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyway, there are a lot of smug people in this thread but rest assured you will get yours. Life can turn on a dime and I hope when some calamity that is out of your control happens to you, you think back to this. Karma has a funny way of coming around.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

You either chose poorly or performed poorly. Those are the only two reasons. If you chose poorly the marriage was doomed from the start. If you performed poorly during the marriage you transformed a viable union into an unfortunate separation.

[Anonymous]

I think what some of the smug posters don’t want to admit is a lot of what is referenced in the article doesn’t apply to your average dcum-er. I am one of the posters who was left and my child and I were able to stay in the family home. We worked out a financial agreement such that nothing in my child’s life has changed, aside from seeing his dad less (I am not discounting this, of course this matters, and I feel bad about it all the time -hope you’re happy op, you smug smug little so and so) he still is doing the same activities and still has the same level of family involvement with me going to everything (book fair, games and practices), along with involved grandparents.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t think my kid is going to have a worse outcome than the kid his age up the street who has two married parents. I guess the other mom might look at me and inwardly feel smug because she’s got a big ring on her finger and I don’t but my kid is doing fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyway, there are a lot of smug people in this thread but rest assured you will get yours. Life can turn on a dime and I hope when some calamity that is out of your control happens to you, you think back to this. Karma has a funny way of coming around.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

You either chose poorly or performed poorly. Those are the only two reasons. If you chose poorly the marriage was doomed from the start. If you performed poorly during the marriage you transformed a viable union into an unfortunate separation.

You’re right, you are better than me! Here is your cookie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find that marrying a quality person and being a thoughtful spouse has a 100% success rate. There are no people on either side of the family that are divorced.

You sound smug. And like you haven’t been humbled by life.

LOL why is staying married and being a quality person considered smug and superiority complex?? Very weird. I would say it's quite a feat and everyone should be proud to manage all the challenges and weather all the storms with their significant other through the years.

Because you’re making the classic human mistake that your positive situation is 100% due to your actions. And it’s not. And makes you think you have full control and therefore bad stuff will not happen to you. It’s called hubris and many Greek tragedies have covered it.

Divorce isn’t something that just happens to the vast majority of married couple. It’s an active choice.

So if you knew about a marriage with: extreme infidelity, criminal activity, no-longer masked mental health issues that cause awful outbursts in front of the kids for years, physical abuse—you’d argue that it’s still a choice?

Do you understand the English language?

“Vast majority” =/= “All”

Obviously there are SOME issues that absolutely SHOULD lead to divorce, but the VAST MAJORITY of couples CHOOSE to divorce because it’s the most convenient choice for one or both partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find that marrying a quality person and being a thoughtful spouse has a 100% success rate. There are no people on either side of the family that are divorced.

You sound smug. And like you haven’t been humbled by life.

LOL why is staying married and being a quality person considered smug and superiority complex?? Very weird. I would say it's quite a feat and everyone should be proud to manage all the challenges and weather all the storms with their significant other through the years.

Because you’re making the classic human mistake that your positive situation is 100% due to your actions. And it’s not. And makes you think you have full control and therefore bad stuff will not happen to you. It’s called hubris and many Greek tragedies have covered it.

Divorce isn’t something that just happens to the vast majority of married couple. It’s an active choice.

Sometimes it is an active choice for one party and the other just gets dragged along for the ride. It only takes one to divorce. There was no discussion at my house. I was told as he walked out the door. Am I perfect? Nobody is perfect. Now he has started a new family. At least The New Wife won’t be surprised like I was. She knows he’s capable of just walking out one day. I hope my kids will be okay in the end. If not, it won’t be because of my lack of trying.

Yep, same. He just left and decided he wanted to be an every other weekend dad. Having freedom to go to the bar and get a new lil girlfriend was more important than our family.

Anyway, there are a lot of smug people in this thread but rest assured you will get yours. Life can turn on a dime and I hope when some calamity that is out of your control happens to you, you think back to this. Karma has a funny way of coming around.

You are a deeply unpleasant, spiteful person. I’m not surprised your husband left you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find that marrying a quality person and being a thoughtful spouse has a 100% success rate. There are no people on either side of the family that are divorced.

You sound smug. And like you haven’t been humbled by life.

LOL why is staying married and being a quality person considered smug and superiority complex?? Very weird. I would say it's quite a feat and everyone should be proud to manage all the challenges and weather all the storms with their significant other through the years.

Because you’re making the classic human mistake that your positive situation is 100% due to your actions. And it’s not. And makes you think you have full control and therefore bad stuff will not happen to you. It’s called hubris and many Greek tragedies have covered it.

Divorce isn’t something that just happens to the vast majority of married couple. It’s an active choice.

So if you knew about a marriage with: extreme infidelity, criminal activity, no-longer masked mental health issues that cause awful outbursts in front of the kids for years, physical abuse—you’d argue that it’s still a choice?

Do you understand the English language?

“Vast majority” =/= “All”

Obviously there are SOME issues that absolutely SHOULD lead to divorce, but the VAST MAJORITY of couples CHOOSE to divorce because it’s the most convenient choice for one or both partners.

Yeah it’s soooo convenient for me that he left me to raise our kid alone!! I am having a blast on those four “free” days a month he takes our kid, as long as he feels like it. It’s great!!!!! (Ha ha just kidding, I have no time to date or have fun, I usually use that time to clean the house and batch cook, but go off I guess)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find that marrying a quality person and being a thoughtful spouse has a 100% success rate. There are no people on either side of the family that are divorced.

You sound smug. And like you haven’t been humbled by life.

LOL why is staying married and being a quality person considered smug and superiority complex?? Very weird. I would say it's quite a feat and everyone should be proud to manage all the challenges and weather all the storms with their significant other through the years.

Because you’re making the classic human mistake that your positive situation is 100% due to your actions. And it’s not. And makes you think you have full control and therefore bad stuff will not happen to you. It’s called hubris and many Greek tragedies have covered it.

Divorce isn’t something that just happens to the vast majority of married couple. It’s an active choice.

Sometimes it is an active choice for one party and the other just gets dragged along for the ride. It only takes one to divorce. There was no discussion at my house. I was told as he walked out the door. Am I perfect? Nobody is perfect. Now he has started a new family. At least The New Wife won’t be surprised like I was. She knows he’s capable of just walking out one day. I hope my kids will be okay in the end. If not, it won’t be because of my lack of trying.

Yep, same. He just left and decided he wanted to be an every other weekend dad. Having freedom to go to the bar and get a new lil girlfriend was more important than our family.

Anyway, there are a lot of smug people in this thread but rest assured you will get yours. Life can turn on a dime and I hope when some calamity that is out of your control happens to you, you think back to this. Karma has a funny way of coming around.

You are a deeply unpleasant, spiteful person. I’m not surprised your husband left you.

It’s hardly unpleasant to point out that life has unpredictable ups and downs, some of which are out of our control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what some of the smug posters don’t want to admit is a lot of what is referenced in the article doesn’t apply to your average dcum-er. I am one of the posters who was left and my child and I were able to stay in the family home. We worked out a financial agreement such that nothing in my child’s life has changed, aside from seeing his dad less (I am not discounting this, of course this matters, and I feel bad about it all the time -hope you’re happy op, you smug smug little so and so) he still is doing the same activities and still has the same level of family involvement with me going to everything (book fair, games and practices), along with involved grandparents.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t think my kid is going to have a worse outcome than the kid his age up the street who has two married parents. I guess the other mom might look at me and inwardly feel smug because she’s got a big ring on her finger and I don’t but my kid is doing fine!

Jesus H. Christ you dumb little so and so, OP DIDN’T CONDUCT THIS RESEARCH.

I’m terribly sorry that facts trigger you, but don’t shoot the messenger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Correlation not causation. It could be that the type of parents that would have kids who go to jail and gave teen pregnancies are also the type of adults who tend to divorce. Of course divorce isn’t ideal but neither is marrying the wrong person or living with domestic violence or experiencing financial and health issues that can’t be resolved or being with someone that ends up with a criminal record and on and on. I agree with the prior poster - what exactly do you think is rocket science here or new / impt enough for a thread on this?

I agree with this. Unfortunately there are a lot of broken people and selfish people and some of them happen to have kids and get married.

This. Trainwreck families gonna trainwreck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find that marrying a quality person and being a thoughtful spouse has a 100% success rate. There are no people on either side of the family that are divorced.

You sound smug. And like you haven’t been humbled by life.

LOL why is staying married and being a quality person considered smug and superiority complex?? Very weird. I would say it's quite a feat and everyone should be proud to manage all the challenges and weather all the storms with their significant other through the years.

Because you’re making the classic human mistake that your positive situation is 100% due to your actions. And it’s not. And makes you think you have full control and therefore bad stuff will not happen to you. It’s called hubris and many Greek tragedies have covered it.

Divorce isn’t something that just happens to the vast majority of married couple. It’s an active choice.

Sometimes it is an active choice for one party and the other just gets dragged along for the ride. It only takes one to divorce. There was no discussion at my house. I was told as he walked out the door. Am I perfect? Nobody is perfect. Now he has started a new family. At least The New Wife won’t be surprised like I was. She knows he’s capable of just walking out one day. I hope my kids will be okay in the end. If not, it won’t be because of my lack of trying.

Yep, same. He just left and decided he wanted to be an every other weekend dad. Having freedom to go to the bar and get a new lil girlfriend was more important than our family.

Anyway, there are a lot of smug people in this thread but rest assured you will get yours. Life can turn on a dime and I hope when some calamity that is out of your control happens to you, you think back to this. Karma has a funny way of coming around.

You are a deeply unpleasant, spiteful person. I’m not surprised your husband left you.

It’s hardly unpleasant to point out that life has unpredictable ups and downs, some of which are out of our control.

Pointing something out is not the same as wishing misfortune on others. You’re a bad person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find that marrying a quality person and being a thoughtful spouse has a 100% success rate. There are no people on either side of the family that are divorced.

You sound smug. And like you haven’t been humbled by life.

LOL why is staying married and being a quality person considered smug and superiority complex?? Very weird. I would say it's quite a feat and everyone should be proud to manage all the challenges and weather all the storms with their significant other through the years.

Because you’re making the classic human mistake that your positive situation is 100% due to your actions. And it’s not. And makes you think you have full control and therefore bad stuff will not happen to you. It’s called hubris and many Greek tragedies have covered it.

Divorce isn’t something that just happens to the vast majority of married couple. It’s an active choice.

So if you knew about a marriage with: extreme infidelity, criminal activity, no-longer masked mental health issues that cause awful outbursts in front of the kids for years, physical abuse—you’d argue that it’s still a choice?

Do you understand the English language?

“Vast majority” =/= “All”

Obviously there are SOME issues that absolutely SHOULD lead to divorce, but the VAST MAJORITY of couples CHOOSE to divorce because it’s the most convenient choice for one or both partners.

Yeah it’s soooo convenient for me that he left me to raise our kid alone!! I am having a blast on those four “free” days a month he takes our kid, as long as he feels like it. It’s great!!!!! (Ha ha just kidding, I have no time to date or have fun, I usually use that time to clean the house and batch cook, but go off I guess)

Asked and answered: you DO NOT understand English. You’re also painfully stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what some of the smug posters don’t want to admit is a lot of what is referenced in the article doesn’t apply to your average dcum-er. I am one of the posters who was left and my child and I were able to stay in the family home. We worked out a financial agreement such that nothing in my child’s life has changed, aside from seeing his dad less (I am not discounting this, of course this matters, and I feel bad about it all the time -hope you’re happy op, you smug smug little so and so) he still is doing the same activities and still has the same level of family involvement with me going to everything (book fair, games and practices), along with involved grandparents.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t think my kid is going to have a worse outcome than the kid his age up the street who has two married parents. I guess the other mom might look at me and inwardly feel smug because she’s got a big ring on her finger and I don’t but my kid is doing fine!

Jesus H. Christ you dumb little so and so, OP DIDN’T CONDUCT THIS RESEARCH.

I’m terribly sorry that facts trigger you, but don’t shoot the messenger.

Op was obviously hoping to accomplish something by starting this thread.