As a former high school teacher I can say this is mostly true. I had 120-140 students every year. There were very few students I knew well enough to know their whole profile well as in knew how they did in all their classes, how they did on standardized tests, knew what extracurriculars they did, etc. Most students I didn’t know anything about their parents/family situation, financial situation. If they asked me for a letter of recommendation then I obviously got more info but for majority of students, I knew very little if anything about their stats or their college app process. |
This is a very obvious/easy one: Bc their parents can afford it. |
Not necessarily, especially when they’ve often spent nearly a million dollars in private school tuition that public school families are investing or otherwise saving. |
This is basically what Jeff Selingo’s book says - that it is that colleges need a well-rounded class, not that you need to be a well-rounded student. So, you can’t predict that, beyond ending up in the considered pile. |
Yeah you're right - it's not a lottery. The admissions rate at Stanford this most recent cycle (24/25) was 3.6% Is there really a marked difference between 100% not happening or 97% chance not happening??? |
So, basically, you’re promoting extroverted kids only? If a student is quiet by nature, they are perceived as not friendly and not contributing? I hate it that teachers are so shallow. |
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Top colleges require:
1. Be foreign and willing to full-pay 2. Be connected to the current staff or a prominent person 3. Be a nationally-ranked something My nephew who graduated with a crazy high GPA (4.5?) and very high SATs, and was a college great-but not top- left-handed baseball pitcher got into CalPoly and a couple of UCs, and the Coast Guard Academy - but no school that I would consider top. No Stanford. No Harvard. No Ivies at all. |
You're assuming that all applicants have a 3.6 percent chance. The reality is that most applicants are close to zero, and then a smaller fraction have a better than 3.6 percent chance (but still low and it's essentially a lottery for them). |
It's silly to compare to other countries if you are really just focused on getting into a small handful of colleges. Because here, anyone who wants to go to college can find a way to do so. Can everyone go to the same 5 colleges that only have 11,000 seats available when 1.2 million students are applying to colleges? No. Does that mean admissions to those schools can feel random for a high stats kid? Of course. The odds are just no in anyones favor. |
What makes a LOR “exceptional”? |
My understanding is that this is 100% fine. Unless I understand things wrong, I thought the point of a teacher LOR is to convey first-hand experience of how the student shows up in the classroom. Are they more engaged, curious, and thoughtful in class than the average kid? (Are they exceptionally so?) Example? How do they handle tension or disagreement in classroom discussions? How motivated have they been to ask for additional help or go the extra mile on assignments? How do they interact with their peers in class (and how are they perceived/seen by their peers?) Are they a “leader” in the classroom or a standout thinker/writer etc. Examples? Overall GPA, ECs etc. are all described elsewhere. Unless the teacher also coaches the kid in sports or advises them in a key EC (i.e. first-hand experience) why would a teacher waste words repeating that info? |
To play their sport? No. Each year a very small handful get recruited to play for a state flagship (like 1-2 out of a graduating class of 600+) and another 15ish go on to play at tiny schools I’ve had to google to learn where they are. If you mean “are the kids who get into top schools athletes”, some are, but not to the level it would differentiate them from the kid who has any other hobby for 4 years. The drama kid, church volunteer kid, art kid, animal shelter volunteer, or debate kid all are pretty evenly successful (or not successful) in gaining admission to top schools. Oh, one other one. I’ve had 2 kids in 2 years who got into the same Ivy their parent went to. Would they have gotten in anyway? Maybe. They were good, capable kids, but I suspect the fact that in one case the interviewer was dad’s old roommate in college helped! |
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So one teacher writes something you infer as negative, and now all teachers are shallow? Ugh. And, just to get you off our collective backs, I have written stellar LORs for quieter kids. As have we all. Of COURSE quieter children can contribute positively to the classroom environment. I was one of those students myself. But let’s not kid ourselves. Being friendly and sociable are good traits and they are going to be acknowledged. |
NP: The best LORs I’ve written have anecdotes where the kid’s uniqueness or passion shine through. A kid who does exactly what they are supposed to do, no more or less, is really hard to write anything special about. I’ve been asked to write 6 so far for next fall. 5 will be fine, positive letters—the kid “works hard, asks good questions, is a strong student, very reliable.” Kind, but bland. The 6th will be stellar, because the kid has shown me all year they are stellar. —Proactively reached out to me before school started to tell me they’d miss the first week due to an opportunity to volunteer on the presidential campaign, could they pick up the first week’s assignments during open house? —When the software we were using for homework crashed, kid took it upon themself to borrow the textbook from the library and do the questions by hand, while classmates used it as an opportunity to have no hw for a night. —When AP exam time was coming, kid organized weekly study sessions for classmates (started as a few friends, expanded to 10 kids as others kept asking to join) and prepared materials to work through with their peers. —Asked good questions, but then researched and applied those concepts to questions they were curious about beyond material in the class. Came and shared with me excitedly during lunch one day how they had wondered whether about xyz, and showed me their mathematical process to collect random data, build a confidence interval, and run a hypothesis test to prove a theory. For funsies. I could write 5 pages instead of 5 paragraphs. Because that kid exudes passion and interest in the world around them. I’ve also written phenomenal LORs for the quiet shy kid who didn’t do a million ECs but overcame a LOT to participate in class discussions and tackle school—but that’s because the child opened up to me about life beyond the classroom before school every day. If I don’t know your kid well, the letter will be bland no matter how wonderful they are in your eyes. Encourage your kid to form relationships and chat about life, interests, current events when teachers are open to it. |