Differences in gender roles

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot be a good mother and have a career. Sounds like you both have different priorities and it will never work.

Oh look the trolls.

My mom was a fantastic mom who had a career. And one of the things she was fantastic about was teaching her daughters to value themselves.

Something has to give, nobody can do it all. You can also have value without climbing the corporate ladder.

-dp

But she wants to. Isn't it wonderful that a woman can choose what she values and what she wants out of life unlike our mothers/grandmothers?

Your constant trolling about not being able to be a good mother if you have ambitious career goals is why women don't want to have children. You are shooting yourself in the foot.

FWIW, I was a sahm, woh, wfh, work PT - I've done all of it. I did put my career in the back burner because it was just too stressful for me to juggle everything. But, if a woman can deal with all of that, more power to them. I'm not jealous of them. I admire them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot be a good mother and have a career. Sounds like you both have different priorities and it will never work.

Would you say that to a dad? Of course, a woman can have both! If you had one or two children and your spouse was sn equal partner why not?

I'm sorry but 90% of women can't have it both. That's not how our biology or this society works.

Vast majority is unhappy and stressed. More than half are divorced.

Then most girls shouldn't go to college, right?

No. We've to. We just can't accept to have it all. We've to manage it well to have a happy life.

You tell yourself that to feel better that you couldn’t do both. The vast majority of people can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot be a good mother and have a career. Sounds like you both have different priorities and it will never work.

YOU can't but I can.

I'm a lawyer and a mom, my coworkers are mostly lawyers and parents. My kid's doing great at school, I manage my schedule so we spend lots of time together. You can manage to do these things and anyone who claims it's impossible has an agenda.

I actually think there are some women who can’t and they assume we are like them. We aren’t.

Just like some men are great parents, cook and are clean.. and people who don’t have that think it’s an outlier.

You can be a parent, that’s just biology, but cannot outsource being a good mother. A good mother does not put their kids in daycare to go to work. You are not the parent at that point, the daycare worker is.

Yeah, here's the deal, you know some of us had working moms, right? Going to tell you right now, I don't remember daycare as a kid. I do remember stuff I did with my mom. I'm a grown adult and am very close to my mother. I talk to her on the phone every day. So this whole "not a good mom", I had a fantastic mom.

+1 my oldest went to daycare. They are now a second year senior (thanks to many many AP/IB credits). They have a great internship that pays pretty well this summer. They recently told me that they thought we did a really good job parenting them. We are not perfect parents, but we tried to always let them know that they were important to us, whether they were in daycare or not. And actually, they have some memory of being in daycare and having fun because they had a bff there. They had a builtin playgroup there and loved it. It was family run daycare, and when the adult children came home sometimes, they would play with my kid because of how much they loved my kid. It wasn't some cold impersonal daycare. Not all of them are like that.

My kids have turned out to be wonderful, mature, productive members of society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot be a good mother and have a career. Sounds like you both have different priorities and it will never work.

Would you say that to a dad? Of course, a woman can have both! If you had one or two children and your spouse was sn equal partner why not?

Women and men are not the same. It’s the woman’s job to mother the children and care for the home. It’s the man’s job to protect and provide.

Its both of their jobs to divide responsibilities and have a happy, loving and functional home for all. If women can shoot or karate, she can protect. If she can earn big bucks, she can provide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dads don't have periods, pregnancy, labor, postpartum, breastfeeding, perimenopause, menopause etc etc. Biology limits our lives.

Those things don’t limit everyone’s life

This is correct. Not having kids can solve most of the problems for every couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot be a good mother and have a career. Sounds like you both have different priorities and it will never work.

Oh look the trolls.

My mom was a fantastic mom who had a career. And one of the things she was fantastic about was teaching her daughters to value themselves.

Something has to give, nobody can do it all. You can also have value without climbing the corporate ladder.

-dp

But she wants to. Isn't it wonderful that a woman can choose what she values and what she wants out of life unlike our mothers/grandmothers?

Your constant trolling about not being able to be a good mother if you have ambitious career goals is why women don't want to have children. You are shooting yourself in the foot.

FWIW, I was a sahm, woh, wfh, work PT - I've done all of it. I did put my career in the back burner because it was just too stressful for me to juggle everything. But, if a woman can deal with all of that, more power to them. I'm not jealous of them. I admire them.

Constant trolling? It was my first post. She obviously values a career over relationships, and that that is fine. But let's not pretend that relationships won't suffer when you put a lot of time and energy into your career. It doesn't even have to be a corporate striver type job. Go work as a kindergarten teacher or cop in a busy precinct and report back on how you can do it all and your personal relationships aren't impacted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dads don't have periods, pregnancy, labor, postpartum, breastfeeding, perimenopause, menopause etc etc. Biology limits our lives.

Those things don’t limit everyone’s life

And like, hey, I pumped breastmilk, then went a did an oral argument, which I won. Having breasts and a baby did not, in fact, mean I couldn't be a lawyer.

Can be if you can hire a nanny or DH's job is flexible.

[Anonymous]

Women in 30's and 40's are usually desperate to marry so they make bad choices then blame consequences on men.

Men in 40's are the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You cannot be a good mother and have a career. Sounds like you both have different priorities and it will never work.

Oh, please! My mother had a very successful career and was a great mother. What really helped is that my father was very supportive of her doing what she wanted to do. He knew what her priorities were and trusted her. She made some mid career pivots that slowed her career but were best for the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot be a good mother and have a career. Sounds like you both have different priorities and it will never work.

You are an ass hole.

They're a troll just like OP with her wording about the corporate ladder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I have a beautiful connection. both of us are marriage minded. There is one issue that’s giving me pause and I’d like to know what others think.

I am ambitious and probably make a little more than him. He is somewhat traditional on gender roles. he doesn’t want me to work long hours, and I get the feeling he does not want me to climb the corporate ladder.

I’ve told him in marriage I’d compromise on long hours. But I have this feeling he may generally speaking resent me for being ambitious down the road. I have no plans of stopping being career driven though I can dial back hours.

Everything else is golden between us. Thoughts?

We men don't know how to communicate with women. Women analyze every single word that comes out our mouth. We may have good intentions but our poor communication skills when we talk to women lead women to all kind of conclusions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dads don't have periods, pregnancy, labor, postpartum, breastfeeding, perimenopause, menopause etc etc. Biology limits our lives.

Those things don’t limit everyone’s life

And like, hey, I pumped breastmilk, then went a did an oral argument, which I won. Having breasts and a baby did not, in fact, mean I couldn't be a lawyer.

Can be if you can hire a nanny or DH's job is flexible.

I didn't have a nanny. I did have in building day care and even could go down and nurse my son instead of pumping (it actually took less time). My employer touted that daycare, it let me be a lawyer and a mom and even get to nurse my baby most days. All while exceeding my required numbers. Society can build structures to help moms succeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot be a good mother and have a career. Sounds like you both have different priorities and it will never work.

Oh look the trolls.

My mom was a fantastic mom who had a career. And one of the things she was fantastic about was teaching her daughters to value themselves.

Something has to give, nobody can do it all. You can also have value without climbing the corporate ladder.

-dp

But she wants to. Isn't it wonderful that a woman can choose what she values and what she wants out of life unlike our mothers/grandmothers?

Your constant trolling about not being able to be a good mother if you have ambitious career goals is why women don't want to have children. You are shooting yourself in the foot.

FWIW, I was a sahm, woh, wfh, work PT - I've done all of it. I did put my career in the back burner because it was just too stressful for me to juggle everything. But, if a woman can deal with all of that, more power to them. I'm not jealous of them. I admire them.

Constant trolling? It was my first post. She obviously values a career over relationships, and that that is fine. But let's not pretend that relationships won't suffer when you put a lot of time and energy into your career. It doesn't even have to be a corporate striver type job. Go work as a kindergarten teacher or cop in a busy precinct and report back on how you can do it all and your personal relationships aren't impacted.

She values what she values. She can still have a relationship. Do you think a POTUS can't have both a relationship and be a good POTUS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot be a good mother and have a career. Sounds like you both have different priorities and it will never work.

YOU can't but I can.

I'm a lawyer and a mom, my coworkers are mostly lawyers and parents. My kid's doing great at school, I manage my schedule so we spend lots of time together. You can manage to do these things and anyone who claims it's impossible has an agenda.

I actually think there are some women who can’t and they assume we are like them. We aren’t.

Just like some men are great parents, cook and are clean.. and people who don’t have that think it’s an outlier.

You can be a parent, that’s just biology, but cannot outsource being a good mother. A good mother does not put their kids in daycare to go to work. You are not the parent at that point, the daycare worker is.

Go back to Reddit you dumb f*** troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dads don't have periods, pregnancy, labor, postpartum, breastfeeding, perimenopause, menopause etc etc. Biology limits our lives.

Those things don’t limit everyone’s life

And like, hey, I pumped breastmilk, then went a did an oral argument, which I won. Having breasts and a baby did not, in fact, mean I couldn't be a lawyer.

Can be if you can hire a nanny or DH's job is flexible.

I didn't have a nanny. I did have in building day care and even could go down and nurse my son instead of pumping (it actually took less time). My employer touted that daycare, it let me be a lawyer and a mom and even get to nurse my baby most days. All while exceeding my required numbers. Society can build structures to help moms succeed.

+1 and quite frankly, for some women, being a mother/wife and not having anything else challenging outside of that makes them miserable. Not all women are happy with just being a mom/wife. If she can have a career that she enjoys and be a wife/mother, why not? Sure, there are challenges, but if you have a supportive spouse, it can work. Sounds like OP's bf wouldn't be a supportive spouse. I bet he would expect her to be supportive of his career, though.