Vent about smug parenting post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone's social media makes you feel ANY negative feelings, just block/hide them. Social media should make you feel positive feelings. If it doesn't, you're using it wrong.

I cannot like this post enough!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If raising kids is not a full time job then what are you paying daycare workers and nanny’s to do?

It's hard to take you seriously when you don't understand the difference between plural and possessive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If raising kids is not a full time job then what are you paying daycare workers and nanny’s to do?

It’s a full time job when they’re home with you full time. When they’re in daycare or school for 6-8 hours then SAHP have a lot of time they’re not parenting. I don’t have hate for them, but it is a different job than being a sahp to kids who are home all day long.

It’s still a job and a lot of work to take care of the house, their meals, and be there for all of the the things; that you cannot do with a full time job. There is no full time job that allows you to come in at 9, leave by 2:30, have various Fridays and half days off, 2 weeks over Christmas, a week for spring break, the whole summer off, etc. She chooses to be there for the times her kids aren’t in school over having a traditional job. That is the point of her post- which should not be offensive at all to you.

Whose kids are in school from 9-2:30?

My kids leave the house to get on the bus at 7:30 and walk in at 4 pm. That's 8.5 hours. I work from home in a full-time job, and I absolutely work later than 4 pm most days (they will come home and get a snack and do homework) and a few days my husband takes them to sports so I work later.

I'm incredibly lucky to have that set up and I know it's not the norm, but it's not impossible. My husband is the same, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks guys, I know you’re all right! I only work part time and don’t make much - so theoretically her post should make me feel validated!- but it just annoyed me instead. Like she’s saying basically “yes you SHOULD step back and spend more time with your kids- it will all work out, see my awesome life? It worked out!” Sort of similar to someone saying “just get more sleep each night and you’ll feel better!” to a bunch of people who work 12 hour night shifts. Like yeah thanks no kidding- being rich AND not having to work really IS better!

Glad to hear this from someone else. So, this is seen as generally true, right?

Personally, I wouldn't want a husband who was working or gone all the time even if that meant I stayed home. I want to raise my kids with my husband, not without him. So yeah, tons of money is great, but to me, not at the expense of one of the parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If raising kids is not a full time job then what are you paying daycare workers and nanny’s to do?

It’s a full time job when they’re home with you full time. When they’re in daycare or school for 6-8 hours then SAHP have a lot of time they’re not parenting. I don’t have hate for them, but it is a different job than being a sahp to kids who are home all day long.

It’s still a job and a lot of work to take care of the house, their meals, and be there for all of the the things; that you cannot do with a full time job. There is no full time job that allows you to come in at 9, leave by 2:30, have various Fridays and half days off, 2 weeks over Christmas, a week for spring break, the whole summer off, etc. She chooses to be there for the times her kids aren’t in school over having a traditional job. That is the point of her post- which should not be offensive at all to you.

But the point is she is saying it is better to worry less about career and money and worry more about being with your kids- from her position as the wife of someone who makes at least a million dollars a year. Like of course it’s the best decision from where she is standing. Reposting a blanket statement like that on insta , being like “you guys. Money isn’t important! Just be there for your kids!” from her multi million dollar home is just stupid.

No, she is saying it’s more important to HER to be home and present. There are plenty of women with husbands making 7 figures that chose to work full time because their career is important to them. More women chose to work outside of the home than not, even when their hunbands make enough for them not to need to work.

You realize like 1% of the population makes seven figures, right? So you're saying "plenty" and "more" and completely missing the fact that you're speaking about an incredibly tiny sliver of America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If raising kids is not a full time job then what are you paying daycare workers and nanny’s to do?

+1. OP—while everyone needs a space to vent, I would also encourage you to reflect on your harsh judgment of this person. Why does she bother you so much? Maybe her post has nothing to do with you—maybe it’s about her husband. Or her own upbringing.

Worth digging a bit to see why you feel personally attacked or enraged.

Oh please. I find the post annoying and I'm very happy with my life. It's a tone-deaf, stupid post. OP doesn't need to do any soul searching to figure out why it bothered her. You can step down from your high horse now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everything is about you. She’s allowed to express how she feels about her life and her choices. The fact that you take it personally is about you. It’s not really different than someone posting that they got a great new car because it is the safest car out there and they want the safest car for their family.

There’s this weird thing among women where women are discouraged to share positive things about themselves. Complain all the time about how your husband is useless, that’s fine, but if someone says “my husband is actually a terrific partner” then everyone shames her for being braggy. It’s toxic and says more about the listener than the speaker.

If you can't see the difference between someone saying their husband is an amazing partner and the post in the OP I don't even know what to do for you.

Also, someone posting about how they bought a Maybach because it's so safe and everyone should get one if they care about their children's safety is obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If raising kids is not a full time job then what are you paying daycare workers and nanny’s to do?

It’s a full time job when they’re home with you full time. When they’re in daycare or school for 6-8 hours then SAHP have a lot of time they’re not parenting. I don’t have hate for them, but it is a different job than being a sahp to kids who are home all day long.

I’ve had this job for the last year. Let me tell you that this the worst job unless you are somehow naturally gifted at it.
My whole job was running chores and doing errands. You can say that you do all of this stuff as a WOHM, but I think most people either divvy it up amongst their family members or let a lot of it slip.
But as a SAHM of kids in school, how can you not have a clean house, laundry done, lawn mowed, flowers planted, homemade dinner every night, host holidays, decorate for every season, make sure that your kid has a cool hat for hat day, volunteer at the school when they need someone, run out with a change of clothes if your kid gets mud on themselves at recess, run to get last minute supplies for whatever stupid project, get all four kids and yourself to the doctor and the dentist as often as you are supposed to, and take them out to get a haircut at an age appropriate place every 4-6 weeks?

And if DH needs errands run or ran out of his special cereal, why wouldn’t you get it? He is the breadwinner.

It sucks. It was not the time of personal development that I thought it would be. I was just everyone’s maid/personal assistant/b!$ch. I’m a child psychiatrist by training and was in school until I was 31. I did not like this role for myself.

I really liked being at home with my kids when they were little though. Maybe that’s more of a “job,” but it’s a good job.

For starters, we don't have four kids... Also, kids have a spare set of clothes at school when they're young, so no one is driving to school in the middle of the day because someone got muddy. Also, decorating for every holiday? You're literally just making stuff up that you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If raising kids is not a full time job then what are you paying daycare workers and nanny’s to do?

It’s a full time job when they’re home with you full time. When they’re in daycare or school for 6-8 hours then SAHP have a lot of time they’re not parenting. I don’t have hate for them, but it is a different job than being a sahp to kids who are home all day long.

It’s still a job and a lot of work to take care of the house, their meals, and be there for all of the the things; that you cannot do with a full time job. [b] There is no full time job that allows you to come in at 9, leave by 2:30, have various Fridays and half days off, 2 weeks over Christmas, a week for spring break, the whole summer off, etc. [b]She chooses to be there for the times her kids aren’t in school over having a traditional job. That is the point of her post- which should not be offensive at all to you.

I had this job essentially but have to be in a bit earlier. I guess I should be grateful but I am still stressed though ! Not so much with work though, just having to chauffeur and juggle everything else/ tidying, home repairs, cooking, hw with kids etc.