Vent about smug parenting post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ oh and it was not a snarky post referring to her husband missing kids events, I see how it could maybe be seen that way. Below it she talked about how she was so happy she had chosen her current path so she didn’t miss her kids milestones. It was about her.

Are you sure she wasn't taking a jab at her husband amidst a fight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If raising kids is not a full time job then what are you paying daycare workers and nanny’s to do?

It’s a full time job when they’re home with you full time. When they’re in daycare or school for 6-8 hours then SAHP have a lot of time they’re not parenting. I don’t have hate for them, but it is a different job than being a sahp to kids who are home all day long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent. Nothing more. A mom I know posts on instagram “it’s not about having the highest paying job, it’s about having the job that allows you to be there for your children. Not miss the special moments!” Or something like that. One of those quotes that people copy and paste by “anonymous”. Meanwhile this woman is a SAHM and her husband makes 7 figures. Just so tone deaf and bizarre. Like lady you don’t even have a job , you are there for all of the special moments literally because your husband DID choose the highest paying job.

Vent over.

What inside of you is the source of this need to vent? That is the issue you should be focusing on.

[Anonymous]

Not everything is about you. She’s allowed to express how she feels about her life and her choices. The fact that you take it personally is about you. It’s not really different than someone posting that they got a great new car because it is the safest car out there and they want the safest car for their family.

There’s this weird thing among women where women are discouraged to share positive things about themselves. Complain all the time about how your husband is useless, that’s fine, but if someone says “my husband is actually a terrific partner” then everyone shames her for being braggy. It’s toxic and says more about the listener than the speaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent. Nothing more. A mom I know posts on instagram “it’s not about having the highest paying job, it’s about having the job that allows you to be there for your children. Not miss the special moments!” Or something like that. One of those quotes that people copy and paste by “anonymous”. Meanwhile this woman is a SAHM and her husband makes 7 figures. Just so tone deaf and bizarre. Like lady you don’t even have a job , you are there for all of the special moments literally because your husband DID choose the highest paying job.

Vent over.

What inside of you is the source of this need to vent? That is the issue you should be focusing on.

Ahahahaha, no. That's a healthy reaction to the constant pressure and SAHM v Working Mom culture war and insensitivity of wealthy people to the actual lives most people live.

[Anonymous]

Vent away! This is absolutely one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to smug parents. I am perfectly happy for anyone who is a SAHM if that's what she wants, or is a working mom if that's what she wants, and I don't sit around counting other people's money. But I can't stand smug judgment coming from people who are basically just very fortunate. I want lucky people to *understand they are lucky.* That's all. They don't even have to sit around talking about how fortunate they know they are. Just be aware enough that you know to STFU on the subject of how other people arrange their families because most people do not get lucky and have to make tough choices.

Anyway, I would have rolled my eyes so hard at that post and then muted her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everything is about you. She’s allowed to express how she feels about her life and her choices. The fact that you take it personally is about you. It’s not really different than someone posting that they got a great new car because it is the safest car out there and they want the safest car for their family.

There’s this weird thing among women where women are discouraged to share positive things about themselves. Complain all the time about how your husband is useless, that’s fine, but if someone says “my husband is actually a terrific partner” then everyone shames her for being braggy. It’s toxic and says more about the listener than the speaker.

But the woman didn't share something positive about herself. She posted a broad statement about what all parents are supposed to do, that doesn't even reflect her own choices OR her husband's choices.

OP is both annoyed by the statement, which implies that any parent who doesn't have a super flexible job that allows them to be present in their kids lives as much as possible has failed in some way, and by the total hypocrisy with which it is posted since the mom posting it doesn't have a job at all and that's only facilitated by her husband having the kids of job that is nothing like what is described in the post.

This has nothing to do with OP being upset that this woman likes her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social media is where it's really brought home to you that the average IQ is a 100.

LOL - this. OP this stuff used to really bother me and sometimes it still does, but mostly, I can see that and laugh knowing the person putting that out there is kind of an idiot. Hopefully, you can do the same soon too.

Parenting is long and there are many ways to do it right. I have always worked and I do no believe my kids have suffered for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If raising kids is not a full time job then what are you paying daycare workers and nanny’s to do?

It’s a full time job when they’re home with you full time. When they’re in daycare or school for 6-8 hours then SAHP have a lot of time they’re not parenting. I don’t have hate for them, but it is a different job than being a sahp to kids who are home all day long.

It’s still a job and a lot of work to take care of the house, their meals, and be there for all of the the things; that you cannot do with a full time job. There is no full time job that allows you to come in at 9, leave by 2:30, have various Fridays and half days off, 2 weeks over Christmas, a week for spring break, the whole summer off, etc. She chooses to be there for the times her kids aren’t in school over having a traditional job. That is the point of her post- which should not be offensive at all to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks guys, I know you’re all right! I only work part time and don’t make much - so theoretically her post should make me feel validated!- but it just annoyed me instead. Like she’s saying basically “yes you SHOULD step back and spend more time with your kids- it will all work out, see my awesome life? It worked out!” Sort of similar to someone saying “just get more sleep each night and you’ll feel better!” to a bunch of people who work 12 hour night shifts. Like yeah thanks no kidding- being rich AND not having to work really IS better!

Glad to hear this from someone else. So, this is seen as generally true, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Vent away! This is absolutely one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to smug parents. I am perfectly happy for anyone who is a SAHM if that's what she wants, or is a working mom if that's what she wants, and I don't sit around counting other people's money. But I can't stand smug judgment coming from people who are basically just very fortunate. I want lucky people to *understand they are lucky.* That's all. They don't even have to sit around talking about how fortunate they know they are. Just be aware enough that you know to STFU on the subject of how other people arrange their families because most people do not get lucky and have to make tough choices.

Anyway, I would have rolled my eyes so hard at that post and then muted her.

If you don't have the appetite to hear that other people are lucky, why do you think that people want to hear about your misfortune? Why does anyone have to talk about any thing at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent. Nothing more. A mom I know posts on instagram “it’s not about having the highest paying job, it’s about having the job that allows you to be there for your children. Not miss the special moments!” Or something like that. One of those quotes that people copy and paste by “anonymous”. Meanwhile this woman is a SAHM and her husband makes 7 figures. Just so tone deaf and bizarre. Like lady you don’t even have a job , you are there for all of the special moments literally because your husband DID choose the highest paying job.

Vent over.

What inside of you is the source of this need to vent? That is the issue you should be focusing on.

Ahahahaha, no. That's a healthy reaction to the constant pressure and SAHM v Working Mom culture war and insensitivity of wealthy people to the actual lives most people live.

But, why are you buying into this culture war or insensitivity? Why do you get impacted by someone who is not impacting your life in any way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everything is about you. She’s allowed to express how she feels about her life and her choices. The fact that you take it personally is about you. It’s not really different than someone posting that they got a great new car because it is the safest car out there and they want the safest car for their family.

There’s this weird thing among women where women are discouraged to share positive things about themselves. Complain all the time about how your husband is useless, that’s fine, but if someone says “my husband is actually a terrific partner” then everyone shames her for being braggy. It’s toxic and says more about the listener than the speaker.

But the woman didn't share something positive about herself. She posted a broad statement about what all parents are supposed to do, that doesn't even reflect her own choices OR her husband's choices.

OP is both annoyed by the statement, which implies that any parent who doesn't have a super flexible job that allows them to be present in their kids lives as much as possible has failed in some way, and by the total hypocrisy with which it is posted since the mom posting it doesn't have a job at all and that's only facilitated by her husband having the kids of job that is nothing like what is described in the post.

This has nothing to do with OP being upset that this woman likes her life.

Thank you!! You summarized much better than me why it was so annoying for me to read this morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you post a response and say cheerfully that it’s great for spouse makes such a high salary enables her to stay home? Then you can add something fake like “sounds like you guys have it all figured out! So blessed!”

Please don't say all of the above nonsense. This is coming off like a low class hyper-jealous comment. And you are throwing shade at your DH's earning power too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If raising kids is not a full time job then what are you paying daycare workers and nanny’s to do?

It’s a full time job when they’re home with you full time. When they’re in daycare or school for 6-8 hours then SAHP have a lot of time they’re not parenting. I don’t have hate for them, but it is a different job than being a sahp to kids who are home all day long.

It’s still a job and a lot of work to take care of the house, their meals, and be there for all of the the things; that you cannot do with a full time job. There is no full time job that allows you to come in at 9, leave by 2:30, have various Fridays and half days off, 2 weeks over Christmas, a week for spring break, the whole summer off, etc. She chooses to be there for the times her kids aren’t in school over having a traditional job. That is the point of her post- which should not be offensive at all to you.

But the point is she is saying it is better to worry less about career and money and worry more about being with your kids- from her position as the wife of someone who makes at least a million dollars a year. Like of course it’s the best decision from where she is standing. Reposting a blanket statement like that on insta , being like “you guys. Money isn’t important! Just be there for your kids!” from her multi million dollar home is just stupid.