Vent about smug parenting post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If raising kids is not a full time job then what are you paying daycare workers and nanny’s to do?

It’s a full time job when they’re home with you full time. When they’re in daycare or school for 6-8 hours then SAHP have a lot of time they’re not parenting. I don’t have hate for them, but it is a different job than being a sahp to kids who are home all day long.

It’s still a job and a lot of work to take care of the house, their meals, and be there for all of the the things; that you cannot do with a full time job. There is no full time job that allows you to come in at 9, leave by 2:30, have various Fridays and half days off, 2 weeks over Christmas, a week for spring break, the whole summer off, etc. She chooses to be there for the times her kids aren’t in school over having a traditional job. That is the point of her post- which should not be offensive at all to you.

But the point is she is saying it is better to worry less about career and money and worry more about being with your kids- from her position as the wife of someone who makes at least a million dollars a year. Like of course it’s the best decision from where she is standing. Reposting a blanket statement like that on insta , being like “you guys. Money isn’t important! Just be there for your kids!” from her multi million dollar home is just stupid.

No, she is saying it’s more important to HER to be home and present. There are plenty of women with husbands making 7 figures that chose to work full time because their career is important to them. More women chose to work outside of the home than not, even when their hunbands make enough for them not to need to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let them

Zip it, Mel. What an idiotic theory.

Exactly. Letting some random post on SM live rent free in your head makes so much more sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social media is where it's really brought home to you that the average IQ is a 100.

This.
Her IQ is probably halfway between yours and someone with Down syndrome, OP. Would it make sense for her to get upset with someone with an intellectual disability for saying something she found less than insightful? No.
For that same reason it doesn’t make sense for you to be upset with her.

[Anonymous]

I know someone who is in dire straits financially, always looking for a better paying job and feels the same as that post. I suspect she'd post the same thing and most wouldn't find it offensive. I think posting something positive like that is sometimes a mental health boost like hearing a quote that makes you feel better about something you were insecure about. It's not that deep. She isn't reviewing the financial status of her followers for sensitivity, though it would be smart. Most people are out of touch with those outside their circle, it's why celebs often put their foot in their mouth.

You might need to work on something you're feeling insecure about to be so bitter. It's normal and expected to be bitter about others from time to time but it's also like an alarm that we need to work on something so we won't be so bothered.

[Anonymous]

OP. Has self-reflection on your post led you to realize:

- social media is toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Has self-reflection on your post led you to realize:

- social media is toxic.

+1.

Cut social media out of your life like the malignant cancer it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If raising kids is not a full time job then what are you paying daycare workers and nanny’s to do?

+1. OP—while everyone needs a space to vent, I would also encourage you to reflect on your harsh judgment of this person. Why does she bother you so much? Maybe her post has nothing to do with you—maybe it’s about her husband. Or her own upbringing.

Worth digging a bit to see why you feel personally attacked or enraged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everything is about you. She’s allowed to express how she feels about her life and her choices. The fact that you take it personally is about you. It’s not really different than someone posting that they got a great new car because it is the safest car out there and they want the safest car for their family.

There’s this weird thing among women where women are discouraged to share positive things about themselves. Complain all the time about how your husband is useless, that’s fine, but if someone says “my husband is actually a terrific partner” then everyone shames her for being braggy. It’s toxic and says more about the listener than the speaker.

+1

[Anonymous]

People post dumb stuff to social media all the time. Just scroll on and don't give it mental energy. This isn't something worth your time and frankly nothing you do will change her or anyone's mind and could turn into a stupid mess. Just roll your eyes and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent. Nothing more. A mom I know posts on instagram “it’s not about having the highest paying job, it’s about having the job that allows you to be there for your children. Not miss the special moments!” Or something like that. One of those quotes that people copy and paste by “anonymous”. Meanwhile this woman is a SAHM and her husband makes 7 figures. Just so tone deaf and bizarre. Like lady you don’t even have a job , you are there for all of the special moments literally because your husband DID choose the highest paying job.

Vent over.

Why is it making you uncomfortable? Talk to a therapist. This tendency of easily getting irritated isn't good for you or anyone around you.

[Anonymous]

Why are you feeling angry, insecure and jealous?

[Anonymous]

I work full time and it does not bother me when others are happy with their own life choices. I would hope they are!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks guys, I know you’re all right! I only work part time and don’t make much - so theoretically her post should make me feel validated!- but it just annoyed me instead. Like she’s saying basically “yes you SHOULD step back and spend more time with your kids- it will all work out, see my awesome life? It worked out!” Sort of similar to someone saying “just get more sleep each night and you’ll feel better!” to a bunch of people who work 12 hour night shifts. Like yeah thanks no kidding- being rich AND not having to work really IS better!

NP. I was that SAHM mom who had the flexibility to be there for all manner of kid stuff (although not freaking oblivious and posting stupid platitudes on social media) and then my high earner spouse dumped me and I had to pivot quickly and get myself back to work and now I am a broke, frazzled mess and the previously outsourced stuff – like cleaners and mowers – is long gone so I sure am glad I never patted myself on the back for having an awesome life. Sometimes everything doesn't work out. I'm sure such a thing will never happen to her, though, because it's never the people who need a swift kick that actually get one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If raising kids is not a full time job then what are you paying daycare workers and nanny’s to do?

+1. OP—while everyone needs a space to vent, I would also encourage you to reflect on your harsh judgment of this person. Why does she bother you so much? Maybe her post has nothing to do with you—maybe it’s about her husband. Or her own upbringing.

Worth digging a bit to see why you feel personally attacked or enraged.

I don’t feel personally attacked or enraged. I eye rolled it and it bothered me that she didn’t seem cognizant of the fact that her husband has millions of dollars and that’s why she can say things like “money isn’t that important!”. It’s tone deaf and it made me think she was smug. That’s all. That’s why it was just a vent!

Reminded me a little of in spring 2020 when Justin Timberlake and Jessica biel were like “man, Covid lockdown is so tough on us parents of toddlers!!!” From their giant estate in Montana with 2872 acres of land, unlimited money, and no risk of contracting covid whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If raising kids is not a full time job then what are you paying daycare workers and nanny’s to do?

It’s a full time job when they’re home with you full time. When they’re in daycare or school for 6-8 hours then SAHP have a lot of time they’re not parenting. I don’t have hate for them, but it is a different job than being a sahp to kids who are home all day long.

My SIL's nanny does their house chores, cooking and errands while kids are at daycare so couple can focus on kids and each other in the evening not begrudgingly running around taking care of everything while kids entertain themselves.