Honestly don’t know what to say to my Trumper parents; brother likely losing job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"But Dad, this is what Trump said he would do. And you voted for him. I assumed you wanted brother to lose his job. You're prepared to support him financially, right? For the good of the country?"

That would at least give them something to do. Or ask them to help find your brother a job.

[Anonymous]

Make them say it. Make them say that they thought he'd leave the WHITE people alone and only go after the BROWN and BLACK people. Make. Them. Admit. It.

And then wash your hands of them. You can't reason with them. You can't convince them that what they believe is wrong. You can't provide proof to refute their claims because to them it's Fake News.

That's what I've done with my Maga family members. Sorry you're struggling. This is a good lesson that actions have consequences. That's all I've been saying when they text asking for money because FK THAT NONSENSE. You don't get to vote for Trump and then ask me for a handout.

[Anonymous]

You’ve told them you blame them. So you now just have to say “I’m not discussing this with you” and then you talk about other stuff (or don’t talk). You can also suggest your dad get a therapist or discuss anxiety meds with his doctor. But you have to make clear you are not his emotional support on this topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly if you haven’t confronted them about the fact that they voted for this and caused it, you are a better person than me.

OP here. I have confronted them. My dad and I have had two big fights over it. But honestly I don’t want our family to be divided in part because I know that is what Donald Trump and MAGA *want.* I know they want us to stop talking, understanding, caring for and respecting each other. I’ve made the case many times that this is not about Democrat vs. Republican, that this is about Trump/MAGA, which I consider to be a different entity from the Republican Party. But anyway, we’ve fought, and it doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t make either of us change our minds.

I don’t want to fight more, especially since my aunt—my Dad’s only sibling—died very recently, and I know that life is very short. But he and my mom know I’m angry and hold them accountable. I just don’t want all this to take over the limited time we have left.

You don’t have to let it take over, but you also don’t have to brush it away, either. Nor would it work even if you tried. Your parents did a thing that had life altering consequences for your brother. Presumably it wasn’t done with malice toward him directly, but it was certainly done with reckless indifference. Your brother’s career may never recover and he may be on a lower trajectory permanently. Not to be catastrophic, but this is just reality. You are right to be mad and disappointed in them.

If you want a relationship, you need to accept that your parents are flawed people, and your feelings are valid and justified. The relationship isn’t going to be the same. But it can still be loving and rewarding if you keep your expectations low for them and follow your gut on what feels right to you. No doubt your parents will be asking for forgiveness or absolution. You just say “I’m not prepared to give you that right now” and you want to move on to another subject.

[Anonymous]

My best friend ended up cutting off her parents. She tried redirecting but they wanted to talk a out their Tru.p worship all the time. It really is a cult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"But Dad, this is what Trump said he would do. And you voted for him. I assumed you wanted brother to lose his job. You're prepared to support him financially, right? For the good of the country?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’ve told them you blame them. So you now just have to say “I’m not discussing this with you” and then you talk about other stuff (or don’t talk). You can also suggest your dad get a therapist or discuss anxiety meds with his doctor. But you have to make clear you are not his emotional support on this topic.

Agree!
Tell them to take responsibility for their own feelings and problems. That is what they need to do. Tell them sorry, I can't really help here though I sympathize. And then don't listen anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daddy, you chose the wrong person. These people don't care about Billy or you or us. He will lose his job. And that's who you voted for. Bye now.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daddy, you chose the wrong person. These people don't care about Billy or you or us. He will lose his job. And that's who you voted for. Bye now.

+1. And I’d add that essential government services like disaster response, food safety inspection, and tracking/prosecuting international criminal syndicates will also suffer. I have many long standing R friends in fed service who are so depressed about the destruction of services for the American people.

Yep. I bet Trump voters will change their tune when they need FEMA. Or their household help can now charge a fair wage because there is less competition or food prices skyrocket because migrant workers have been ousted. Americans don't want the low paying jobs which and immigrants fill the vacuum.

[Anonymous]

Tell them to call their congressional representatives and COMPLAIN! That they voted for Trump because they wanted him to do X, not illegally remove federal workers and access their private financial records, etc. This is the time to act, not when it is too late because Trump and Musk have removed all opposition and taken our rights for their own gain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell them to call their congressional representatives and COMPLAIN! That they voted for Trump because they wanted him to do X, not illegally remove federal workers and access their private financial records, etc. This is the time to act, not when it is too late because Trump and Musk have removed all opposition and taken our rights for their own gain.

This. Particularly conservatives should be doing this. The only people who can hold Trump accountable is thr GOP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell them to call their congressional representatives and COMPLAIN! That they voted for Trump because they wanted him to do X, not illegally remove federal workers and access their private financial records, etc. This is the time to act, not when it is too late because Trump and Musk have removed all opposition and taken our rights for their own gain.

This. Particularly conservatives should be doing this. The only people who can hold Trump accountable is thr GOP.

+1 If they feel remorseful tell them DO SOMETHING! Call their representatives, protest and stop watching right wing news!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly if you haven’t confronted them about the fact that they voted for this and caused it, you are a better person than me.

OP here. I have confronted them. My dad and I have had two big fights over it. But honestly I don’t want our family to be divided in part because I know that is what Donald Trump and MAGA *want.* I know they want us to stop talking, understanding, caring for and respecting each other. I’ve made the case many times that this is not about Democrat vs. Republican, that this is about Trump/MAGA, which I consider to be a different entity from the Republican Party. But anyway, we’ve fought, and it doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t make either of us change our minds.

I don’t want to fight more, especially since my aunt—my Dad’s only sibling—died very recently, and I know that life is very short. But he and my mom know I’m angry and hold them accountable. I just don’t want all this to take over the limited time we have left.

You don’t have to fight every time it comes up. A quick, “yes, I know you’re worried about Brother. Call your representatives and senators to express your concern. Are you coming to grandkids dance recital this weekend? We can’t wait to see you!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if you could say, I wish you would call your congressperson and tell them you expect more oversight and to stop dismantling the government.

I get not wanting to fight. So maybe trying to channel them?

Newsflash: Congress doesn’t care

I think if Republican representatives and senators were flooded with unhappy callers the way Democratic Congresspeople have been flooded, it would indeed have an impact. My (blue) Congressperson told his constituents recently that the Democrats know the problem and they are on our side, it’s the Republicans who are not doing anything about it. So if you have trusted family members in red states I would encourage them to contact their representatives and complain.

[Anonymous]

My Trumper relative doesn't work (lives off of husband) and barely leaves the house.

I'm not sure how the husband voted but probably did not vote for the "lady." Husband's agency received the fork. One of their children's agency received the fork too.

Hope they are satisfied.