If you restrict social media for your teens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you even doing this once they are adults? Are all of you saying you do this using paying for the phone as a manipulation tactic?

We are not doing this once they are adults. We are restricting when they are under-18 and in high school.

+1

But the OP asks “what are you doing once they leave for college”

Is everyone ignoring the question and just stating what they do for their minor teen?

The op posed a rhetorical question and never expected an answer.

More likely, she was just trying to assuage her guilt over letting her children have unrestricted TikTok access and is now seeing the negative outcomes from her decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you even doing this once they are adults? Are all of you saying you do this using paying for the phone as a manipulation tactic?

We are not doing this once they are adults. We are restricting when they are under-18 and in high school.

+1

But the OP asks “what are you doing once they leave for college”

Is everyone ignoring the question and just stating what they do for their minor teen?

The op posed a rhetorical question and never expected an answer.

More likely, she was just trying to assuage her guilt over letting her children have unrestricted TikTok access and is now seeing the negative outcomes from her decision.

Yeah, that seems likely. I noticed she has not returned to her own thread, as far as I can tell.

[Anonymous]

Social media is the least of my concerns when they leave for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you even doing this once they are adults? Are all of you saying you do this using paying for the phone as a manipulation tactic?

We are not doing this once they are adults. We are restricting when they are under-18 and in high school.

+1

But the OP asks “what are you doing once they leave for college”

Is everyone ignoring the question and just stating what they do for their minor teen?

The op posed a rhetorical question and never expected an answer.

More likely, she was just trying to assuage her guilt over letting her children have unrestricted TikTok access and is now seeing the negative outcomes from her decision.

Yeah, that seems likely. I noticed she has not returned to her own thread, as far as I can tell.

OP here. Ive been reading. My question was not rhetorical and my teens do not have unrestricted access. I’m genuinely asking. No one is really answering though. Most of my older teens friends already have unlimited access so there is nothing for their parents to change. As usually, the parents commenting on DCUM do not match my lived experience. I noticed this back when all the moms in my mom’s group quit nursing at 6 months and flipped the car seats around at age 1. DCUM is not my reality and I end feeling sort of an island in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you even doing this once they are adults? Are all of you saying you do this using paying for the phone as a manipulation tactic?

We are not doing this once they are adults. We are restricting when they are under-18 and in high school.

+1

But the OP asks “what are you doing once they leave for college”

Is everyone ignoring the question and just stating what they do for their minor teen?

The op posed a rhetorical question and never expected an answer.

More likely, she was just trying to assuage her guilt over letting her children have unrestricted TikTok access and is now seeing the negative outcomes from her decision.

Yeah, that seems likely. I noticed she has not returned to her own thread, as far as I can tell.

OP here. Ive been reading. My question was not rhetorical and my teens do not have unrestricted access. I’m genuinely asking. No one is really answering though. Most of my older teens friends already have unlimited access so there is nothing for their parents to change. As usually, the parents commenting on DCUM do not match my lived experience. I noticed this back when all the moms in my mom’s group quit nursing at 6 months and flipped the car seats around at age 1. DCUM is not my reality and I end feeling sort of an island in real life.

I thought I answered? Heavy restrictions through high school and then they make their own decisions in college. So far, they seem to be making good ones since they have many other interests besides social media. Did you just not like my answer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you even doing this once they are adults? Are all of you saying you do this using paying for the phone as a manipulation tactic?

We are not doing this once they are adults. We are restricting when they are under-18 and in high school.

+1

But the OP asks “what are you doing once they leave for college”

Is everyone ignoring the question and just stating what they do for their minor teen?

The op posed a rhetorical question and never expected an answer.

More likely, she was just trying to assuage her guilt over letting her children have unrestricted TikTok access and is now seeing the negative outcomes from her decision.

Yeah, that seems likely. I noticed she has not returned to her own thread, as far as I can tell.

OP here. Ive been reading. My question was not rhetorical and my teens do not have unrestricted access. I’m genuinely asking. No one is really answering though. Most of my older teens friends already have unlimited access so there is nothing for their parents to change. As usually, the parents commenting on DCUM do not match my lived experience. I noticed this back when all the moms in my mom’s group quit nursing at 6 months and flipped the car seats around at age 1. DCUM is not my reality and I end feeling sort of an island in real life.

I thought I answered? Heavy restrictions through high school and then they make their own decisions in college. So far, they seem to be making good ones since they have many other interests besides social media. Did you just not like my answer?

Your answer was fine. I was hoping for more than just one or two answers. Instead posters just derailed the thread to share their random thoughts on social media rather than answer the question. I should have expected as much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you even doing this once they are adults? Are all of you saying you do this using paying for the phone as a manipulation tactic?

We are not doing this once they are adults. We are restricting when they are under-18 and in high school.

+1

But the OP asks “what are you doing once they leave for college”

Is everyone ignoring the question and just stating what they do for their minor teen?

The op posed a rhetorical question and never expected an answer.

More likely, she was just trying to assuage her guilt over letting her children have unrestricted TikTok access and is now seeing the negative outcomes from her decision.

Yeah, that seems likely. I noticed she has not returned to her own thread, as far as I can tell.

OP here. Ive been reading. My question was not rhetorical and my teens do not have unrestricted access. I’m genuinely asking. No one is really answering though. Most of my older teens friends already have unlimited access so there is nothing for their parents to change. As usually, the parents commenting on DCUM do not match my lived experience. I noticed this back when all the moms in my mom’s group quit nursing at 6 months and flipped the car seats around at age 1. DCUM is not my reality and I end feeling sort of an island in real life.

I’m sorry, I posted a random thought earlier. I think it’s because IRL no one restricts anything in college and almost no one restricts anything in HS. When you read here, it sounds like most have their kids off electronics and social media. It’s not matching up what you experience because it’s not real. Like social media, this is the internet. Anyone can post anything. It doesn’t make it true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you even doing this once they are adults? Are all of you saying you do this using paying for the phone as a manipulation tactic?

We are not doing this once they are adults. We are restricting when they are under-18 and in high school.

+1

But the OP asks “what are you doing once they leave for college”

Is everyone ignoring the question and just stating what they do for their minor teen?

The op posed a rhetorical question and never expected an answer.

More likely, she was just trying to assuage her guilt over letting her children have unrestricted TikTok access and is now seeing the negative outcomes from her decision.

Yeah, that seems likely. I noticed she has not returned to her own thread, as far as I can tell.

OP here. Ive been reading. My question was not rhetorical and my teens do not have unrestricted access. I’m genuinely asking. No one is really answering though. Most of my older teens friends already have unlimited access so there is nothing for their parents to change. As usually, the parents commenting on DCUM do not match my lived experience. I noticed this back when all the moms in my mom’s group quit nursing at 6 months and flipped the car seats around at age 1. DCUM is not my reality and I end feeling sort of an island in real life.

I thought I answered? Heavy restrictions through high school and then they make their own decisions in college. So far, they seem to be making good ones since they have many other interests besides social media. Did you just not like my answer?

Your answer was fine. I was hoping for more than just one or two answers. Instead posters just derailed the thread to share their random thoughts on social media rather than answer the question. I should have expected as much.

You only got a few answers because only a few parents restrict their HS teens. And then they respond to this thread because they feel a bit defensive about it.

[Anonymous]

When my kid turns 18, they are an adult and I plan to treat them as such. I restrict heavily now though.

But remember:

- your child does not own a phone; your college student does NOT own a phone.

YOU own that phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worry about this. Have 2 DDs. One is 10 and is pretty good at having balance with screen and other activities. If I tell her to turn it off, she does with no/minimal problems. I don't think social media will be an issue when she gets it

My 13 yo is completely different. Huge fights/meltdowns related to screentime. When she sneaks and gets access when she shouldn't, she's been up really late or all night. I don't think she's capable of self-regulation right now.

I'm hoping it will change as she gets older. Otherwise I worry about her life.

Side note, I talked to many parents, and a lot of them don't have any real time restrictions, so the kids are on for 8-12 hours a day.

Your kids are way too young to be having issues with screen time. The 10 year old should have virtually no screen time.

[Anonymous]

I restrict but obviously in college they have pretty much unlimited freedom. Big difference between a 14 year old and an 18 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my kid turns 18, they are an adult and I plan to treat them as such. I restrict heavily now though.

But remember:

- your child does not own a phone; your college student does NOT own a phone.

YOU own that phone.

Please tell me you don't go through your adult child's phone, I mean your phone. Way to instill trust in your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kid turns 18, they are an adult and I plan to treat them as such. I restrict heavily now though.

But remember:

- your child does not own a phone; your college student does NOT own a phone.

YOU own that phone.

Please tell me you don't go through your adult child's phone, I mean your phone. Way to instill trust in your child.

1) they are still teens, and 2) I have raised them both well enough so far I have no need to go through the phones I bought, pay for, and have loaned to them and 3) you seem to struggle with the reality of who's name is on the contract and who actually owns the account (hint: it's you).

I have no need to defend how I choose to treat my property (meaning: my phones). If one day after they turn 18, my kids ever have an issue with that, they can go sign their own contract, buy a phone, and pay monthly.

YMMV. Good luck with the impending ban on your tiktok, PP.

[Anonymous]

I don't plan on having any restrictions on their phones when they go to college. At some point they have to start making their own choices. Happy to provide advice is asked. At the same time, they have to have some reasonable level of performance with their school work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kid turns 18, they are an adult and I plan to treat them as such. I restrict heavily now though.

But remember:

- your child does not own a phone; your college student does NOT own a phone.

YOU own that phone.

Please tell me you don't go through your adult child's phone, I mean your phone. Way to instill trust in your child.

1) they are still teens, and 2) I have raised them both well enough so far I have no need to go through the phones I bought, pay for, and have loaned to them and 3) you seem to struggle with the reality of who's name is on the contract and who actually owns the account (hint: it's you).

I have no need to defend how I choose to treat my property (meaning: my phones). If one day after they turn 18, my kids ever have an issue with that, they can go sign their own contract, buy a phone, and pay monthly.

YMMV. Good luck with the impending ban on your tiktok, PP.

My kids are in college. IDGAF about the TikTok ban. I have no idea if my kids use it. It’s not my problem.