Any moms give up big careers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bailed out when my DD was still pretty little. It caused be a lot of heartache and I’ll admit that I felt huge envy and jealousy when peers’ careers zoomed forward and I was standing at the kitchen counter washing the same water bottle for the millionth time that week. And just after the pandemic, when friends started upgrading not-quite starter homes to crazy $4m palaces, I nearly had a breakdown as we all fought for space in our tight house (in an amazing neighborhood).

However, staying home started to pay off. DH got promoted quickly at work because he was able to go all-in for a few years- flying to Asia at a moments’ notice, serving on special advisory committees, getting pulled onto special projects. It sucked to watch because we essentially had the same careers and some things I could have done better. But our DD was able to stay in a really demanding a fulfilling activity as her peers dropped out due to the challenge of getting rides and the cost. I was able to have long-postponed surgeries and medical treatment for chronic conditions probably triggered by work stress. I nursed our elderly dog through a prolonged decline and had the time to take on a new rescue later.

And like another PP, all of this aligned with a very favorable market which is allowing us to move to the kind of house that our 2-career peers are in. So the end result is essentially the same in many ways, and better in others.

So yeah, I took it on the chin and I know people look down on me, but it worked out and my kid’s life really benefited from having a flexible parent and another parent who could focus on just work + being there for her.

It’s a gamble, like everything else. Just know that you’ll have to absorb some nasty comments. And I don’t mean online. People express their insecurities or prejudice through their “innocent questions” and you’ll find out who is your real friend and who were just colleagues/mom friends/professional school acquaintances.

To each her own. And I applaud PP for sacrificing her career and being at peace with the present.

The path above would’ve killed me, regardless of my potential house size. Knowing my spouse and I were peers and I had to stop and he excelled?

I do not mean this with any harshness. Anyone who takes the above path ought to have an excellent life insurance policy on the earning spouse and an excellent post nup. Life is different for all of us and we have to live it.

This is a very weird sentiment. My DH earned less than I did when we got married, but his career has really taken off and he earns multiples of what I earn. I still earn a good amount ($250k) but I have intentionally leaned out and sought promotions at a much slower pace than I otherwise would have. I am super proud of him!

What would *actually* kill me is just being known as the driver and servant of my kids. Which I mean, I kind of *am*, that, but at least it’s not my only identity! So many SAHMs - their kids are their only identity and topic of conversation. I don’t think that’s healthy for a woman.

No, it’s not a weird sentiment. Just because you call it that does not make it so.

For people who are Type A and ambitious, and have the credentials
and resume that are “brand name”
and always coveted by this board, it’s not
weird at all.

Glad you’re content and proud of your higher earning husband. Stop imposing your satisfaction of professionally plateauing while leaning in at home on others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bailed out when my DD was still pretty little. It caused be a lot of heartache and I’ll admit that I felt huge envy and jealousy when peers’ careers zoomed forward and I was standing at the kitchen counter washing the same water bottle for the millionth time that week. And just after the pandemic, when friends started upgrading not-quite starter homes to crazy $4m palaces, I nearly had a breakdown as we all fought for space in our tight house (in an amazing neighborhood).

However, staying home started to pay off. DH got promoted quickly at work because he was able to go all-in for a few years- flying to Asia at a moments’ notice, serving on special advisory committees, getting pulled onto special projects. It sucked to watch because we essentially had the same careers and some things I could have done better. But our DD was able to stay in a really demanding a fulfilling activity as her peers dropped out due to the challenge of getting rides and the cost. I was able to have long-postponed surgeries and medical treatment for chronic conditions probably triggered by work stress. I nursed our elderly dog through a prolonged decline and had the time to take on a new rescue later.

And like another PP, all of this aligned with a very favorable market which is allowing us to move to the kind of house that our 2-career peers are in. So the end result is essentially the same in many ways, and better in others.

So yeah, I took it on the chin and I know people look down on me, but it worked out and my kid’s life really benefited from having a flexible parent and another parent who could focus on just work + being there for her.

It’s a gamble, like everything else. Just know that you’ll have to absorb some nasty comments. And I don’t mean online. People express their insecurities or prejudice through their “innocent questions” and you’ll find out who is your real friend and who were just colleagues/mom friends/professional school acquaintances.

To each her own. And I applaud PP for sacrificing her career and being at peace with the present.

The path above would’ve killed me, regardless of my potential house size. Knowing my spouse and I were peers and I had to stop and he excelled?

I do not mean this with any harshness. Anyone who takes the above path ought to have an excellent life insurance policy on the earning spouse and an excellent post nup. Life is different for all of us and we have to live it.

This is a very weird sentiment. My DH earned less than I did when we got married, but his career has really taken off and he earns multiples of what I earn. I still earn a good amount ($250k) but I have intentionally leaned out and sought promotions at a much slower pace than I otherwise would have. I am super proud of him!

What would *actually* kill me is just being known as the driver and servant of my kids. Which I mean, I kind of *am*, that, but at least it’s not my only identity! So many SAHMs - their kids are their only identity and topic of conversation. I don’t think that’s healthy for a woman.

Why do so many people think it’s preferable to have your identity based almost entirely on your career rather than your family?

Unless you’re doing something truly special (and the vast, VAST majority of you are certainly not, regardless of how much you’re being paid) then at the end of the day you’re really just another cog in the wheel. No one cares now, and your professional legacy will be that… no one remembers or cares.

Sorry but many could say the same about parenthood. People raise children every day. You’re just raising another
future cog.

For those of who balance family life and work life, it’s just that—a balance. And we like to have something for ourselves and have skills that extend beyond carpool and boo boo kissing. In fact, we don’t need to quit working to do those things. But to teach her own—a sentiment many SAHMs on this board don’t get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bailed out when my DD was still pretty little. It caused be a lot of heartache and I’ll admit that I felt huge envy and jealousy when peers’ careers zoomed forward and I was standing at the kitchen counter washing the same water bottle for the millionth time that week. And just after the pandemic, when friends started upgrading not-quite starter homes to crazy $4m palaces, I nearly had a breakdown as we all fought for space in our tight house (in an amazing neighborhood).

However, staying home started to pay off. DH got promoted quickly at work because he was able to go all-in for a few years- flying to Asia at a moments’ notice, serving on special advisory committees, getting pulled onto special projects. It sucked to watch because we essentially had the same careers and some things I could have done better. But our DD was able to stay in a really demanding a fulfilling activity as her peers dropped out due to the challenge of getting rides and the cost. I was able to have long-postponed surgeries and medical treatment for chronic conditions probably triggered by work stress. I nursed our elderly dog through a prolonged decline and had the time to take on a new rescue later.

And like another PP, all of this aligned with a very favorable market which is allowing us to move to the kind of house that our 2-career peers are in. So the end result is essentially the same in many ways, and better in others.

So yeah, I took it on the chin and I know people look down on me, but it worked out and my kid’s life really benefited from having a flexible parent and another parent who could focus on just work + being there for her.

It’s a gamble, like everything else. Just know that you’ll have to absorb some nasty comments. And I don’t mean online. People express their insecurities or prejudice through their “innocent questions” and you’ll find out who is your real friend and who were just colleagues/mom friends/professional school acquaintances.

To each her own. And I applaud PP for sacrificing her career and being at peace with the present.

The path above would’ve killed me, regardless of my potential house size. Knowing my spouse and I were peers and I had to stop and he excelled?

I do not mean this with any harshness. Anyone who takes the above path ought to have an excellent life insurance policy on the earning spouse and an excellent post nup. Life is different for all of us and we have to live it.

This is a very weird sentiment. My DH earned less than I did when we got married, but his career has really taken off and he earns multiples of what I earn. I still earn a good amount ($250k) but I have intentionally leaned out and sought promotions at a much slower pace than I otherwise would have. I am super proud of him!

What would *actually* kill me is just being known as the driver and servant of my kids. Which I mean, I kind of *am*, that, but at least it’s not my only identity! So many SAHMs - their kids are their only identity and topic of conversation. I don’t think that’s healthy for a woman.

Why do so many people think it’s preferable to have your identity based almost entirely on your career rather than your family?

Unless you’re doing something truly special (and the vast, VAST majority of you are certainly not, regardless of how much you’re being paid) then at the end of the day you’re really just another cog in the wheel. No one cares now, and your professional legacy will be that… no one remembers or cares.

Sorry but many could say the same about parenthood. People raise children every day. You’re just raising another
future cog.

For those of who balance family life and work life, it’s just that—a balance. And we like to have something for ourselves and have skills that extend beyond carpool and boo boo kissing. In fact, we don’t need to quit working to do those things. But to teach her own—a sentiment many SAHMs on this board don’t get.

The bolded shows either a profound lack of critical thinking skills or a profound lack of love for your kids.

My kids aren’t “just another cog” TO ME, and I’m not just some random, easily replaceable adult TO THEM. If you got hit by a bus tomorrow your boss would replace you and your company would move on and within a year forget you’d ever worked there, but your kids would feel your loss forever.

I don’t care if you work or not, but the fact that you clearly don’t value your kids MORE than your job on any instinctive level makes me feel VERY sorry for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bailed out when my DD was still pretty little. It caused be a lot of heartache and I’ll admit that I felt huge envy and jealousy when peers’ careers zoomed forward and I was standing at the kitchen counter washing the same water bottle for the millionth time that week. And just after the pandemic, when friends started upgrading not-quite starter homes to crazy $4m palaces, I nearly had a breakdown as we all fought for space in our tight house (in an amazing neighborhood).

However, staying home started to pay off. DH got promoted quickly at work because he was able to go all-in for a few years- flying to Asia at a moments’ notice, serving on special advisory committees, getting pulled onto special projects. It sucked to watch because we essentially had the same careers and some things I could have done better. But our DD was able to stay in a really demanding a fulfilling activity as her peers dropped out due to the challenge of getting rides and the cost. I was able to have long-postponed surgeries and medical treatment for chronic conditions probably triggered by work stress. I nursed our elderly dog through a prolonged decline and had the time to take on a new rescue later.

And like another PP, all of this aligned with a very favorable market which is allowing us to move to the kind of house that our 2-career peers are in. So the end result is essentially the same in many ways, and better in others.

So yeah, I took it on the chin and I know people look down on me, but it worked out and my kid’s life really benefited from having a flexible parent and another parent who could focus on just work + being there for her.

It’s a gamble, like everything else. Just know that you’ll have to absorb some nasty comments. And I don’t mean online. People express their insecurities or prejudice through their “innocent questions” and you’ll find out who is your real friend and who were just colleagues/mom friends/professional school acquaintances.

To each her own. And I applaud PP for sacrificing her career and being at peace with the present.

The path above would’ve killed me, regardless of my potential house size. Knowing my spouse and I were peers and I had to stop and he excelled?

I do not mean this with any harshness. Anyone who takes the above path ought to have an excellent life insurance policy on the earning spouse and an excellent post nup. Life is different for all of us and we have to live it.

This is a very weird sentiment. My DH earned less than I did when we got married, but his career has really taken off and he earns multiples of what I earn. I still earn a good amount ($250k) but I have intentionally leaned out and sought promotions at a much slower pace than I otherwise would have. I am super proud of him!

What would *actually* kill me is just being known as the driver and servant of my kids. Which I mean, I kind of *am*, that, but at least it’s not my only identity! So many SAHMs - their kids are their only identity and topic of conversation. I don’t think that’s healthy for a woman.

Why do so many people think it’s preferable to have your identity based almost entirely on your career rather than your family?

Unless you’re doing something truly special (and the vast, VAST majority of you are certainly not, regardless of how much you’re being paid) then at the end of the day you’re really just another cog in the wheel. No one cares now, and your professional legacy will be that… no one remembers or cares.

Some critical thinking skills are missing. I never wrote this and I think it’s bad too. In fact, I find that the servant SAHM/workaholic WOHD sets up just that dynamic, which is just as bad.

My DH and I have strong identities in and out of the home.

[Anonymous]

The “raising another, future cog” comment is very telling. That’s why I left teaching to raise my own kids for many years. It wasn’t hard to spot the behavioral and academic issues with the kids who were viewed as just another, future cog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bailed out when my DD was still pretty little. It caused be a lot of heartache and I’ll admit that I felt huge envy and jealousy when peers’ careers zoomed forward and I was standing at the kitchen counter washing the same water bottle for the millionth time that week. And just after the pandemic, when friends started upgrading not-quite starter homes to crazy $4m palaces, I nearly had a breakdown as we all fought for space in our tight house (in an amazing neighborhood).

However, staying home started to pay off. DH got promoted quickly at work because he was able to go all-in for a few years- flying to Asia at a moments’ notice, serving on special advisory committees, getting pulled onto special projects. It sucked to watch because we essentially had the same careers and some things I could have done better. But our DD was able to stay in a really demanding a fulfilling activity as her peers dropped out due to the challenge of getting rides and the cost. I was able to have long-postponed surgeries and medical treatment for chronic conditions probably triggered by work stress. I nursed our elderly dog through a prolonged decline and had the time to take on a new rescue later.

And like another PP, all of this aligned with a very favorable market which is allowing us to move to the kind of house that our 2-career peers are in. So the end result is essentially the same in many ways, and better in others.

So yeah, I took it on the chin and I know people look down on me, but it worked out and my kid’s life really benefited from having a flexible parent and another parent who could focus on just work + being there for her.

It’s a gamble, like everything else. Just know that you’ll have to absorb some nasty comments. And I don’t mean online. People express their insecurities or prejudice through their “innocent questions” and you’ll find out who is your real friend and who were just colleagues/mom friends/professional school acquaintances.

To each her own. And I applaud PP for sacrificing her career and being at peace with the present.

The path above would’ve killed me, regardless of my potential house size. Knowing my spouse and I were peers and I had to stop and he excelled?

I do not mean this with any harshness. Anyone who takes the above path ought to have an excellent life insurance policy on the earning spouse and an excellent post nup. Life is different for all of us and we have to live it.

This is a very weird sentiment. My DH earned less than I did when we got married, but his career has really taken off and he earns multiples of what I earn. I still earn a good amount ($250k) but I have intentionally leaned out and sought promotions at a much slower pace than I otherwise would have. I am super proud of him!

What would *actually* kill me is just being known as the driver and servant of my kids. Which I mean, I kind of *am*, that, but at least it’s not my only identity! So many SAHMs - their kids are their only identity and topic of conversation. I don’t think that’s healthy for a woman.

Why do so many people think it’s preferable to have your identity based almost entirely on your career rather than your family?

Unless you’re doing something truly special (and the vast, VAST majority of you are certainly not, regardless of how much you’re being paid) then at the end of the day you’re really just another cog in the wheel. No one cares now, and your professional legacy will be that… no one remembers or cares.

Sorry but many could say the same about parenthood. People raise children every day. You’re just raising another
future cog.

For those of who balance family life and work life, it’s just that—a balance. And we like to have something for ourselves and have skills that extend beyond carpool and boo boo kissing. In fact, we don’t need to quit working to do those things. But to teach her own—a sentiment many SAHMs on this board don’t get.

The bolded shows either a profound lack of critical thinking skills or a profound lack of love for your kids.

My kids aren’t “just another cog” TO ME, and I’m not just some random, easily replaceable adult TO THEM. If you got hit by a bus tomorrow your boss would replace you and your company would move on and within a year forget you’d ever worked there, but your kids would feel your loss forever.

I don’t care if you work or not, but the fact that you clearly don’t value your kids MORE than your job on any instinctive level makes me feel VERY sorry for them.

Well said

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bailed out when my DD was still pretty little. It caused be a lot of heartache and I’ll admit that I felt huge envy and jealousy when peers’ careers zoomed forward and I was standing at the kitchen counter washing the same water bottle for the millionth time that week. And just after the pandemic, when friends started upgrading not-quite starter homes to crazy $4m palaces, I nearly had a breakdown as we all fought for space in our tight house (in an amazing neighborhood).

However, staying home started to pay off. DH got promoted quickly at work because he was able to go all-in for a few years- flying to Asia at a moments’ notice, serving on special advisory committees, getting pulled onto special projects. It sucked to watch because we essentially had the same careers and some things I could have done better. But our DD was able to stay in a really demanding a fulfilling activity as her peers dropped out due to the challenge of getting rides and the cost. I was able to have long-postponed surgeries and medical treatment for chronic conditions probably triggered by work stress. I nursed our elderly dog through a prolonged decline and had the time to take on a new rescue later.

And like another PP, all of this aligned with a very favorable market which is allowing us to move to the kind of house that our 2-career peers are in. So the end result is essentially the same in many ways, and better in others.

So yeah, I took it on the chin and I know people look down on me, but it worked out and my kid’s life really benefited from having a flexible parent and another parent who could focus on just work + being there for her.

It’s a gamble, like everything else. Just know that you’ll have to absorb some nasty comments. And I don’t mean online. People express their insecurities or prejudice through their “innocent questions” and you’ll find out who is your real friend and who were just colleagues/mom friends/professional school acquaintances.

To each her own. And I applaud PP for sacrificing her career and being at peace with the present.

The path above would’ve killed me, regardless of my potential house size. Knowing my spouse and I were peers and I had to stop and he excelled?

I do not mean this with any harshness. Anyone who takes the above path ought to have an excellent life insurance policy on the earning spouse and an excellent post nup. Life is different for all of us and we have to live it.

This is a very weird sentiment. My DH earned less than I did when we got married, but his career has really taken off and he earns multiples of what I earn. I still earn a good amount ($250k) but I have intentionally leaned out and sought promotions at a much slower pace than I otherwise would have. I am super proud of him!

What would *actually* kill me is just being known as the driver and servant of my kids. Which I mean, I kind of *am*, that, but at least it’s not my only identity! So many SAHMs - their kids are their only identity and topic of conversation. I don’t think that’s healthy for a woman.

Why do so many people think it’s preferable to have your identity based almost entirely on your career rather than your family?

Unless you’re doing something truly special (and the vast, VAST majority of you are certainly not, regardless of how much you’re being paid) then at the end of the day you’re really just another cog in the wheel. No one cares now, and your professional legacy will be that… no one remembers or cares.

Some critical thinking skills are missing. I never wrote this and I think it’s bad too. In fact, I find that the servant SAHM/workaholic WOHD sets up just that dynamic, which is just as bad.

My DH and I have strong identities in and out of the home.

Sure you do loser

[Anonymous]

This thread says a whole lot about DCUM women. To y’all, it’s all about money. You say 280k isn’t a lot of money. You scoff on this thread about teaching not being a real career, but on the next thread you’ll complain about your kids’ teachers being incompetent. Why would anyone competent WANT to go into teaching if the mothers of their students have no respect for them?

I agree with the poster who says that you’re all just cogs in the wheel. Yes, some of you are highly paid cogs, but you are cogs nonetheless. Your work is meaningless to the broader society and serves only to allow you to accumulate more material things at the expense of your inner well being and time with your children. The cliche “no one’s tombstone ever says I wish I worked more” is absolutely true. You just don’t get it, but one day you will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left teaching to stay at home as soon as my first child was born. I wish I could say it was a hard decision but it was not. DH makes enough to keep us in a decent suburban house, keep us debt-free, fund the kids’ 529 accounts, and our retirement well funded. My youngest is now in 11th grade and I’m just working part time now for some vacation fun money.

I don’t want to turn this into the “raise your own children” thread but you just have to assess your own talents and where they are well utilized. I was raised by my grandmother who was an incredible cook, gardener and seamstress. Now I couldn’t care less about garment sewing, but the rest of it rubbed off, so I’m like Martha Stewart with advanced degrees in education and childhood development. There was no way in hell I was outsourcing my child rearing.

Many of my friends don’t even know where their kitchen is, but make good money professionally, and that’s OK too.

Just play to your strengths, and make the decision as a married couple with your spouse, so you’re all on the same page. It’s a life-long decision in terms of financial impact, so you have to do it as a couple.

Not to be mean but a teaching job is not what people would consider a big career.

No worries. I understand your point and certainly don't take it as mean, but I was moving up quickly into administration, and am not boasting to say that I'd have certainly made it into a fairly high administration position by now, with my aptitudes and education. There were also a lot of tangential career options for which I'd have been well suited, such as curriculum development and/or going back into academia.

The point being, if I hadn't pulled the career ejection seat handle, I'd have easily have been in a salary range over the 95th percentile of US earners. Combined with a spouse who is a few % higher than that, and it would have been a much more "luxurious" lifestyle. But I also had the Martha Stewart thing going on, and decided to leverage that. My upbringing, education and skill sets were sort of optimized for staying at home full time, so I went with it.

This is a cost/benefit analysis that my spouse I made in our late 20s, and I don't begrudge anyone who plays to their particular strengths. You just have to realize that, once you go down that path for a few years, you can't roll back time. Your kids will only be young once, and you will only once have the the youthful energy of your 20s and 30s to pour into a full-time career.

NP and also respectfully — thinking you were going to make it to a big job and were on track to making it is not remotely the same as making it … and enduring it. I see people get promotions and/or rise to higher ranks and flame out fast all of the time.
I’m in a big leadership job that actually in no way mirrors the sort of work, responsibility, and strategic survival skills needed in the individual contributor roles in my 20s and the senior level roles of my 30s that I held on the path to my current role. It’s like saying you know how you’ll do as a first-time parent because you had a lot of experience taking care of your siblings and were a camp counselor in high school.
Landing a big job is hard and perhaps you would have, but keeping a big job and succeeding in a big job is something beyond all that. Again I say this respectfully, I am sure you are bright and talented. You just don’t actually know what you are talking about without significant first-hand experience here.
Would love to hear from more people on this topic who had big jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left teaching to stay at home as soon as my first child was born. I wish I could say it was a hard decision but it was not. DH makes enough to keep us in a decent suburban house, keep us debt-free, fund the kids’ 529 accounts, and our retirement well funded. My youngest is now in 11th grade and I’m just working part time now for some vacation fun money.

I don’t want to turn this into the “raise your own children” thread but you just have to assess your own talents and where they are well utilized. I was raised by my grandmother who was an incredible cook, gardener and seamstress. Now I couldn’t care less about garment sewing, but the rest of it rubbed off, so I’m like Martha Stewart with advanced degrees in education and childhood development. There was no way in hell I was outsourcing my child rearing.

Many of my friends don’t even know where their kitchen is, but make good money professionally, and that’s OK too.

Just play to your strengths, and make the decision as a married couple with your spouse, so you’re all on the same page. It’s a life-long decision in terms of financial impact, so you have to do it as a couple.

Not to be mean but a teaching job is not what people would consider a big career.

No worries. I understand your point and certainly don't take it as mean, but I was moving up quickly into administration, and am not boasting to say that I'd have certainly made it into a fairly high administration position by now, with my aptitudes and education. There were also a lot of tangential career options for which I'd have been well suited, such as curriculum development and/or going back into academia.

The point being, if I hadn't pulled the career ejection seat handle, I'd have easily have been in a salary range over the 95th percentile of US earners. Combined with a spouse who is a few % higher than that, and it would have been a much more "luxurious" lifestyle. But I also had the Martha Stewart thing going on, and decided to leverage that. My upbringing, education and skill sets were sort of optimized for staying at home full time, so I went with it.

This is a cost/benefit analysis that my spouse I made in our late 20s, and I don't begrudge anyone who plays to their particular strengths. You just have to realize that, once you go down that path for a few years, you can't roll back time. Your kids will only be young once, and you will only once have the the youthful energy of your 20s and 30s to pour into a full-time career.

NP and also respectfully — thinking you were going to make it to a big job and were on track to making it is not remotely the same as making it … and enduring it. I see people get promotions and/or rise to higher ranks and flame out fast all of the time.
I’m in a big leadership job that actually in no way mirrors the sort of work, responsibility, and strategic survival skills needed in the individual contributor roles in my 20s and the senior level roles of my 30s that I held on the path to my current role. It’s like saying you know how you’ll do as a first-time parent because you had a lot of experience taking care of your siblings and were a camp counselor in high school.
Landing a big job is hard and perhaps you would have, but keeping a big job and succeeding in a big job is something beyond all that. Again I say this respectfully, I am sure you are bright and talented. You just don’t actually know what you are talking about without significant first-hand experience here.
Would love to hear from more people on this topic who had big jobs.

Man you are really full of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread says a whole lot about DCUM women. To y’all, it’s all about money. You say 280k isn’t a lot of money. You scoff on this thread about teaching not being a real career, but on the next thread you’ll complain about your kids’ teachers being incompetent. Why would anyone competent WANT to go into teaching if the mothers of their students have no respect for them?

I agree with the poster who says that you’re all just cogs in the wheel. Yes, some of you are highly paid cogs, but you are cogs nonetheless. Your work is meaningless to the broader society and serves only to allow you to accumulate more material things at the expense of your inner well being and time with your children. The cliche “no one’s tombstone ever says I wish I worked more” is absolutely true. You just don’t get it, but one day you will.

Spot on.

I worked for almost 20 years toward my teaching career. (Yes, DCUM: it’s a career, and one I took very seriously.) I did what we all have to do to survive in the classroom: I gave up my own family, my hobbies, my free time, and my happiness. And I was GOOD, the type of good that every DCUMer wants for their own children. And then I landed in a bad place and had to back off.

That’s when I realized that my career shouldn’t be more important as my family. (And to your point: I realized I was working too hard for parents who don’t respect me.) I’m a worse teacher now, but a better parent and a better human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread says a whole lot about DCUM women. To y’all, it’s all about money. You say 280k isn’t a lot of money. You scoff on this thread about teaching not being a real career, but on the next thread you’ll complain about your kids’ teachers being incompetent. Why would anyone competent WANT to go into teaching if the mothers of their students have no respect for them?

I agree with the poster who says that you’re all just cogs in the wheel. Yes, some of you are highly paid cogs, but you are cogs nonetheless. Your work is meaningless to the broader society and serves only to allow you to accumulate more material things at the expense of your inner well being and time with your children. The cliche “no one’s tombstone ever says I wish I worked more” is absolutely true. You just don’t get it, but one day you will.

Spot on.

I worked for almost 20 years toward my teaching career. (Yes, DCUM: it’s a career, and one I took very seriously.) I did what we all have to do to survive in the classroom: I gave up my own family, my hobbies, my free time, and my happiness. And I was GOOD, the type of good that every DCUMer wants for their own children. And then I landed in a bad place and had to back off.

That’s when I realized that my career shouldn’t be more important as my family. (And to your point: I realized I was working too hard for parents who don’t respect me.) I’m a worse teacher now, but a better parent and a better human.

Interesting how all the “cog in the wheel” SAHMs were disillusioned by their bad job situations and then realized the meaning of life is to not work (but be supported by someone who is working).

Some of us have jobs that are pretty decent and don’t need to give them up in order to have a decent life. Sure, we may not be saving the world, but we are contributing to our household, participating in the adult world, using our brain analytically, etc.

[Anonymous]

If the massive tech layoffs of the last few years have shown us anything, it's that we are ALL cogs in the wheel. Your "big job" is just one algorithm away from being replaced.

Nobody is saying that your identity should solely be wrapped up in your role as a parent. However, anyone whose identity is based on their job/career/title is deluded into thinking those things give them value. Money is a means to an end. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread says a whole lot about DCUM women. To y’all, it’s all about money. You say 280k isn’t a lot of money. You scoff on this thread about teaching not being a real career, but on the next thread you’ll complain about your kids’ teachers being incompetent. Why would anyone competent WANT to go into teaching if the mothers of their students have no respect for them?

I agree with the poster who says that you’re all just cogs in the wheel. Yes, some of you are highly paid cogs, but you are cogs nonetheless. Your work is meaningless to the broader society and serves only to allow you to accumulate more material things at the expense of your inner well being and time with your children. The cliche “no one’s tombstone ever says I wish I worked more” is absolutely true. You just don’t get it, but one day you will.

Spot on.

I worked for almost 20 years toward my teaching career. (Yes, DCUM: it’s a career, and one I took very seriously.) I did what we all have to do to survive in the classroom: I gave up my own family, my hobbies, my free time, and my happiness. And I was GOOD, the type of good that every DCUMer wants for their own children. And then I landed in a bad place and had to back off.

That’s when I realized that my career shouldn’t be more important as my family. (And to your point: I realized I was working too hard for parents who don’t respect me.) I’m a worse teacher now, but a better parent and a better human.

Interesting how all the “cog in the wheel” SAHMs were disillusioned by their bad job situations and then realized the meaning of life is to not work (but be supported by someone who is working).

Some of us have jobs that are pretty decent and don’t need to give them up in order to have a decent life. Sure, we may not be saving the world, but we are contributing to our household, participating in the adult world, using our brain analytically, etc.

She’s still a teacher, moron. Just a worse one. Maybe if you ask nicely she can teach you how to read?