Is it tacky to have a baby shower if you’re a high earner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh the people who say parents cannot throw showers need to stop. Not everyone lives in the etiquette world where the mom has seven close friends to finance a shower. Completely ridiculous expectation that others should finance the party

The mom can pay for it, but she shouldn’t “host” it.

[Anonymous]

Don’t have a shower, OP. It’s a gift grab at its core. Wait until baby is born and do a party with a book theme, if you must.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh the people who say parents cannot throw showers need to stop. Not everyone lives in the etiquette world where the mom has seven close friends to finance a shower. Completely ridiculous expectation that others should finance the party

The mom can pay for it, but she shouldn’t “host” it.

How about they have it at mom's house but some random is on the invite?? What is the difference. A lot of people need to unclench about these stupid shower rules. I wish my family was close enough to host mine because it's so awkward coordinating it with friends.

[Anonymous]

OP here. We are going to have the baby shower but stick to lower priced items under $100. We will be buying all the expensive items we want.

I don’t know why it’s tacky for my MIL to throw us a baby shower? I thought it was customary for a family member such as a parent throw you a baby shower. It’s funny because like a year ago there was a thread where people were telling OP not to throw her own baby shower because a family member should be the one to throw it. Sometimes I feel like there are just combative people on here to start drama to distract from their sad miserable lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh the people who say parents cannot throw showers need to stop. Not everyone lives in the etiquette world where the mom has seven close friends to finance a shower. Completely ridiculous expectation that others should finance the party

The mom can pay for it, but she shouldn’t “host” it.

How about they have it at mom's house but some random is on the invite?? What is the difference. A lot of people need to unclench about these stupid shower rules. I wish my family was close enough to host mine because it's so awkward coordinating it with friends.

OP here. She is planning it but it will be at a venue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh the people who say parents cannot throw showers need to stop. Not everyone lives in the etiquette world where the mom has seven close friends to finance a shower. Completely ridiculous expectation that others should finance the party

Etiquette is important. Throwing a gift grab for yourself or your child is gauche. Showers were originally for brides who were going from their parents home to her home as a new wife where she would need many things to set up housekeeping. Today women have good jobs and have lived on their own and, often, live with several different men prior to marrying one of them. She already has what she needs to set up housekeeping. Baby shower were for first time mothers because she has no baby paraphernalia and showers were hosted by friends who were not close family me members.

All showers today are nothing but gift grabs by gift grabbers.

OP here. You sound like a bitter angry person who hates women. Good luck with that one. Hopefully you don’t have a daughter. Who cares if a woman has lived with prior partners before her husband? I doubt you would I say the same about the man.

A baby shower to me symbolizes the celebration of a new life. Many people want to buy baby gifts for a new mom and baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to dissent and say that I think it's a little tacky when high earning moms-to-be have a shower. Especially if she's 35+.

OP here. I’m 33 and that’s for you opinion. Stop bashing women and learn to be happy with your sad life and husband.

[Anonymous]

We had a book shower, too, and it was so nice. A few of my mom's friends and some of my aunts brought their kids' favorite books or even their own favorite childhood book. It made for a really lovely afternoon where ladies shared their memories of reading books as kids and to their kids.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you say no gifts but if someone would like to donate money or new items you could list a shelter that houses children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are going to have the baby shower but stick to lower priced items under $100. We will be buying all the expensive items we want.

I don’t know why it’s tacky for my MIL to throw us a baby shower? I thought it was customary for a family member such as a parent throw you a baby shower. It’s funny because like a year ago there was a thread where people were telling OP not to throw her own baby shower because a family member should be the one to throw it. Sometimes I feel like there are just combative people on here to start drama to distract from their sad miserable lives.

Good, I am glad you are having a shower. It's up to the guests to decide what they can spend, and your family and friends DO want to celebrate you. Very good idea to keep the items at a variety of price points at and below $100. It sounds like MIL is planning a very nice event at a venue and everyone will have a wonderful time. Enjoy!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to dissent and say that I think it's a little tacky when high earning moms-to-be have a shower. Especially if she's 35+.

OP here. I’m 33 and that’s for you opinion. Stop bashing women and learn to be happy with your sad life and husband.

You posted to solicit other people’s opinions…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are going to have the baby shower but stick to lower priced items under $100. We will be buying all the expensive items we want.

I don’t know why it’s tacky for my MIL to throw us a baby shower? I thought it was customary for a family member such as a parent throw you a baby shower. It’s funny because like a year ago there was a thread where people were telling OP not to throw her own baby shower because a family member should be the one to throw it. Sometimes I feel like there are just combative people on here to start drama to distract from their sad miserable lives.

Good, I am glad you are having a shower. It's up to the guests to decide what they can spend, and your family and friends DO want to celebrate you. Very good idea to keep the items at a variety of price points at and below $100. It sounds like MIL is planning a very nice event at a venue and everyone will have a wonderful time. Enjoy!!!

I agree with PP. I think you had a real concern that has been taken over by the weird family cannot host showers people, super bizarre life stance.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a UMC-rich community where unspoken social norms were a big deal . It was "known" that parents don't throw bridal showers, but grandmas-to-be are the expected hosts for baby showers. So I guess it really depends on the local community.

Given your specific situation, maybe you can have your MIL make it more of a challenge. "For $20 or less, please bring either bring a book baby will love or a gadget/item that makes life easier for mom of a newborn." People want to celebrate your baby and also help you out. You don't need (or probably want) a diaper tower, but there are likely things that family members who have BTDT can share with you. For me, that's what my baby shower was about. I didn't need other people to buy me stuff, but I loved the advice and, yes, a couple of unexpected gifts that were really helpful.

Making this all about people who are less well off then you spending money misses the point. You will find out very quickly that money isn't everything when it comes to raising kids.

[Anonymous]

We had a books shower when it was just too many showers (even for our first), but people brought baby clothes too because they love to buy clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a UMC-rich community where unspoken social norms were a big deal . It was "known" that parents don't throw bridal showers, but grandmas-to-be are the expected hosts for baby showers. So I guess it really depends on the local community.

Given your specific situation, maybe you can have your MIL make it more of a challenge. "For $20 or less, please bring either bring a book baby will love or a gadget/item that makes life easier for mom of a newborn." People want to celebrate your baby and also help you out. You don't need (or probably want) a diaper tower, but there are likely things that family members who have BTDT can share with you. For me, that's what my baby shower was about. I didn't need other people to buy me stuff, but I loved the advice and, yes, a couple of unexpected gifts that were really helpful.

Making this all about people who are less well off then you spending money misses the point. You will find out very quickly that money isn't everything when it comes to raising kids.

Yes, these random gadgets that people had loved came in really handy when we were struggling! Because a newborn is a struggle regardless of income.